Everything You Need: Everything For You Trilogy Book 1

by Bailey, Orla

  His eyes catch mine in the mirror and he frowns. “Are you absolutely certain you have nothing to tell me? You’re hiding something.”

  I consciously stop my eyes growing wider. “You’re paranoid, Jack. I’m standing here in nothing but knickers. What can I possibly have to hide that you don’t already know about?” I think I sound convincing. He’s a man who trusts his instincts yet he has no evidence and I’m not singing. I’m quite proud I haven’t already caved, as it happens. I can keep some secrets.

  He turns me in his arms and runs his eyes over my back view in the mirror.

  “Are you expecting to find a monkey tail?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

  “It wouldn’t surprise me.” Laughing, he traces his finger down the indent of my spine, to the line of my panties. The sensation makes me shiver with desire. His expression reveals his enjoyment of the curvy part of my anatomy emerging beneath the high cut of the silk. “I find you very desirable, Tabby. No woman in that ballroom tonight will come anywhere close to looking as beautiful as you.”

  I click my tongue in mock derision. “I’m wearing a dress over this lot, remember?”

  He smiles. “I remember. You wouldn’t be taking another step if you weren’t.” He growls and grabs at me, making me squeal.

  Why can’t he be like this all the time? Good-natured and complimentary. This is the Jack that makes me feel good about myself. This is the Jack that gives me high hopes. He steps half a pace backwards to run his eyes over me from a different perspective until I begin to feel self-conscious. The backs of his fingers trail down my neck to the rise of my breast.

  “You have skin like velvet.”

  I watch him tighten and react to my nakedness. That simple act tingles through my belly and travels rapidly downwards. “Jack,” I plead.

  He looks at me. The Arctic blue darkens, heats; no longer icy waters but warm Mediterranean seas. He appears to force himself to his senses and removes his hands from me glancing over my shoulder. I turn and eye the red dress.

  He lifts it down and his voice is husky and deep when he speaks. “Let me help you with this.”

  I protect my hair with my arms bent at the elbow as he drops it over my head. Adjusting the bodice into position, the fullness flows to the floor. He turns me and zips it up.

  “Belladonna.”

  “Deadly nightshade,” I counter.

  “Beautiful enough to stop any man’s heart.” He presses his lips to mine.

  His mouth is soft and loving. Almost loving. I will have to send a card to Melanie to thank her for her good judgement and request the shade of that enticing lip stain.

  “I’ll be back in two minutes.” Jack leaves me after pausing in the doorway for a final glance.

  I return my attention to the mirror. I’ve never been vain but I look different. Better. I’m intrigued as I stand here all dark hair, smoky eyes, golden skin and vibrant Valentino red, torn between the strange new confidence I feel and the habitual way I’ve always shied away from looking so conspicuous. It isn’t in my nature to be attention-grabbing.

  I sense the first flutter of nerves as they kick in, glad that Jack will be by my side. Glad he’s insisted I’d better not leave his sight for a moment. He’d better not leave mine. He’s my security. I slip on the dye-matched shoes before he returns.

  “I’m wearing your cuff-links.” I freeze at the forewarning, remembering the awful scene I made over them last night, no intention of repeating it.

  “Fine,” I whisper.

  Jack’s ties his bow-tie, just the right side of imperfect to be... perfect. Tension builds in the air around me. I can’t imagine Jack the slightest bit apprehensive about the Commerce Ball but perhaps he’s regretting asking me. He’s more aloof now, keeping his distance. No more touching. No more kissing.

  “Now you’ve had your free sample of my unorthodox mentoring style, do I still have your full agreement to proceed, Tabitha?”

  Why is he asking me this now? I turn and stare. Is he playing with me? “Nothing’s changed.”

  “Make that clear to me.” He isn’t messing around. This is so confusing.

  “I wish to proceed with our arrangement. I want to be challenged. To have my confidence and management skills developed to give CaidCo its best chance.”

  “Even if I tell you I’ve gone easy on you so far.”

  The Boss has returned. He’s reminding me this is about business even if I’ve fooled myself into believing Jack is asking me on a date.

  “I can handle it.” As long as I keep my emotions out of the equation.

  “With everything I may yet demand of you?”

  Now he’s scaring me. “Even so.” He seems apprehensive which makes me nervous. Jack doesn’t do unease. That’s my speciality.

  “Remember you can end this any time.”

  “Okay.” My voice is a tense whisper. “Why are we doing this now, Jack?” Does he wish he’d never suggested it in the first place?

  “I need to be sure.” He seems troubled and that troubles me more.

  No mixed messages. “You have my full agreement, Jack. If you didn’t I wouldn’t be here.” Perhaps I shouldn’t be but, God help me, I am.

  “Thank you.” He relaxes. I notice the muscle tension ease from his jaw and again, wonder what strange thing is happening.

  I can’t help shivering even though the evening is warm. I need to connect with the familiar once more, his reassurance most of all. “Do I look alright?” I sound uncertain.

  Jack stops tweaking his cuffs and stands behind me to observe what I see in the mirror now I’m dressed. “Do you even need to ask? Look at yourself.”

  My eyes brush over my reflection.

  Jack places his hands on my bare shoulders. He holds me steady until I feel warmth seep into my skin. “Really look.” His voice resonates so deep and low I feel it in my belly.

  This time my eyes follow the shaded contours of my cheekbones down to the lushness of my lips. I sweep my tongue across their lower swell and note how light reflects off the moist surface making it appear so plump and succulent I catch it up between my teeth, making a soft depression. My eyes flash up to catch Jack’s fixed on the same place – my mouth. My lips part slightly and his eyes darken. Once more the tension ratchets as his hands tighten on my shoulders.

  “Keep looking.” His voice sounds gruff.

  My gaze returns to the mirror and the line of my throat. Jack’s fingers float across my collar bones teasing at the fluttering pulse there. His hands run up my throat gently until they rest beneath my jaw line and he lifts my chin high.

  “You’re beautiful. And tonight you’re all mine.”

  My heart delivers a strong double beat in slow time. Tonight, perhaps, I do belong to him. A deal brokered. But only for tonight. My head reminds me I’m still playing a dangerous game if I think there is anything more to it than that. He did not want what I wanted and nothing has changed.

  “Keep looking.” He repeats his demand and I obey it.

  My eyes travel to the limits of my reflection just below my hips. The contrast of the deepest blood red gown against my skin is as dramatic as fantasy. I’ve never seen anything like it looking back at me in a mirror. My shoulders rise and fall with a nervous tremor beneath Jack’s palms.

  “You’re stunning. You’re going to lure every man’s eyes the way you do mine.” His praise extracts a shy smile from me but his eyes gradually narrow. “I’m not planning on sharing you with any of them.”

  I glance downwards as Jack reaches around me, opening a small drawer in the console table beneath the mirror. He pulls out a flat, square box with Boodles printed on the lid. Jack places it on top of the table and flips it open. Inside is a smooth solid circlet.

  I twist my neck to look back at him. “You bought me a silver necklace?” I sound so happy. He does have a romantic soul.

  “White gold.” He lifts it from the box and warms it in his hands before he fits it round my neck. We both admire it.


  “It’s beautiful and I love it. Thank you.” The design is unpretentious and elegant. It enhances without distracting and I swear it makes my neck appear more elegant. “You have good taste.”

  My compliment is rewarded with a knowing smile. “Of course.”

  I roll my eyes but grin.

  “There’s another part to attach.” His hand slips into his pocket and I stare down into his open palm to see a tiny delicate padlock and key resting there. My eyes fly to Jack’s guardedly as I raise my hands to my throat.

  “The clasp seems secure enough.”

  “It is.”

  I try to rationalise his words until reality hits. “You’re locking me into a collar?” I feel breathless, shocked. I panic. My breathing dips, erratic and shallow. I think about all the influential people that attend the ball and see I’m collared like a pet. A possession. His property. Was that what I once longed to be? My eyes fly back to Jack’s.

  “A collar?” He remains cool, commanding; in complete contrast to the wild uncertainty I display. “That’s an imaginative conclusion you’ve jumped to. What on earth would make you think I need to claim ownership of you in that way?”

  “What am I supposed to think?”

  He shrugs. “I think we’re dealing with your own perceptions. Your tendency to assign yourself the lowest status possible. This is a pretty piece of jewellery with a little charm attached. If anyone thinks otherwise that’s their problem. It shouldn’t bother you what they think. The only thing that matters in the end is what you allow it to become in your mind. Asset or liability. Confidence is about self-belief and that’s the whole point. Either you overcome any negative mind-set that holds you back or you don’t. It’s simple.”

  “For you, maybe.” For me it’s mind expanding. If I’d thought the next few weekends would be manageable, I’m thinking again.

  “I am not collaring you. I’m giving you another challenge to overcome, perhaps.” His coolness dares me and I never could back down from a challenge. Why do I think he understands exactly how to manipulate me? “Look closer.” He doesn’t move to attach it. Rather he wants me to accept it – whatever it represents – by my own volition.

  “Pet monkey,” I mumble touching the padlock with the tips of my fingers. I turn it over and my heart stops when I see he’s had it engraved with a Buddhist eternal knot to match those I had engraved on his cuff-links. It renders the thoughts dashing through my mind, even more complicated. Is he suggesting I once tried to mark him with a symbol of my own? Tried to claim ownership of him? Is that how he perceived it? Is that what I did? Was that the reason he walked away?

  I remember I can end this at any time and walk away too.

  Jack’s quiet resolve compels me even before I pick the thing up. Lifting my chin I remove the key, hand both parts back to him and turn around. He opens it with dexterity and fastens it securely to the clasp allowing it to rest, as a cool reminder, at the top of my spine. “I appreciate your trust, Tabitha.” His fingers explore the trinket round my neck and his gentle touch makes me shiver.

  “Why now?” I’m prickly with indignation. Adornment? Symbol? Reminder?

  “I want to give you further levels of distraction to handle. I need to push your limits.”

  Like my debut at the spectacular event isn’t enough? Not knowing how to dance formally isn’t enough? Jack Keogh telling me what he’s going to do to me in this red dress isn’t enough? “Now?”

  “Now is the perfect time.” He slips the key into his inner jacket pocket only strengthening my uncertainty and I think he knows it. “You think it tarnishes your beauty, threatens your individuality, but you’ve never looked lovelier.”

  To be honest, his cool control is driving me crazy with lust. I’m so sexually charged I throb. If he wonders what I’m thinking right now, he’d be shocked: his sex object. I’m wearing the red dress and wish he would shove it out of his way, push me face down over the table and take me right there in front of the mirror, where we can both watch me orgasm with his symbol about my neck and me, his unbridled conflagration of desire. It’s a distraction all right. Maybe not the one he intended.

  “I hope it gives you a raging hard-on.” I sweep past him. “All night.”

  “A dead cert, kitten. Why do you think I promised myself I could have you afterwards?”

  I don’t let him see me grind my teeth. I will never admit it makes me want him so badly I could combust. The truth is we both want different things from this situation. He wants temporary possession and mastery. I want commitment and love. We both disguise our desires under the terms of a business arrangement. And there’s no squaring that circle.

  He sets me straight. “It’s simply another lesson.”

  You’d think I’d be used to his rejection by now but I feel hurt.

  “Time to go.” Jack weaves his fingers through mine, drawing me beside him to the elevator doors. I feel his warmth; smell the delectable scent of his skin, ensnaring my senses. Each step I take, each movement of his body in opposition to mine, stokes the inferno blazing inside.

  I study myself in the bronzed elevator mirrors, my fingers straying constantly to the precious metal about my neck which teases, masquerades. Perhaps a collar and a gift of jewellery are both symbols of a man’s need to possess. Just as he says, it looks like a necklace off-set by my skin, reflecting the dramatic hue of the ball gown in its cool shiny surface. But is there a deeper, more truthful meaning to it or is that wishful thinking on my part? Wanting resolution of this thing with Jack burns my body as never before.

  I catch him watching me as I finger the smooth metal. He appears relaxed and content whilst an insect of irritation, of panic, crawls beneath my skin. I yearn to snatch it from my neck and feeling an irrational rush of claustrophobia, reach for the clasp. I claw at the padlock at the back of my neck to which only Jack holds the key.

  “Leave it alone.”

  “Take it off, Jack.”

  “It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. What is it that concerns you so much about it?”

  “Everything.” It troubles me. It excites me. It promises me things that are only illusions. My emotions reel from one state to another and I feel so confused. If he knows how much I want him, why won’t he make love to me?

  He takes my hands in his and steps behind me, framing me in the mirror again, calming me with the rhythmic caress of his fingers on my bare shoulders. “See what I see, Tabitha. A captivating woman. A confident woman. A woman of poise.”

  I laugh. A nervous sound. Full of disbelief. “I feel…”

  “Tell me.” His tone soothes, encourages.

  I glance up at his reflection. “This isn’t me. It’s false. Fake. I’m fake.” My rising pitch betrays growing panic as I twist in his arms. “I can’t go to the ball.”

  Jack’s smile is soft and benign. “You can and you most certainly will. I’ll be beside you all the time. You’re only just discovering the power you have.”

  I try a series of deep, steadying breaths but they don’t work. “How can something like this give me confidence?” Bending my neck, I rattle the thing I can no longer name. “It undermines me.” A crisp note of edginess enters my voice.

  “You can overcome these insecurities.”

  My nerves tighten. My irritation grows. “How does it make you feel, Jack? Smug and superior?” I see Jack’s brow arch as I snap at him and I don’t care if I get lectured for it tomorrow. His jaw tightens. I notice the rapid pulse ticking beneath his skin.

  “Honestly? When you accept what I ask of you, it makes me feel closer to you. When you challenge it, I know you don’t trust me. Why can’t you trust me, Tabby?” His question stuns me.

  I want to. I used to. But how can I after what he once did? He abandoned me. I want to scream the accusation in his face but I’m incapable. Jack moves me round and takes my face between his hands. He presses his lips softly over mine.

  Still I detect a fleeting shadow of darkness in his eyes but put it
down to wild imagination.

  “Hold your head high, Tabby. You’re as good as anyone in that ballroom and tonight I’m going to show you that.”

  He takes my silence for agreement. Perhaps it is. I can refuse anytime I want, after all. I can end everything with a word. Or tell him how I truly feel about him.

  No. That’s the one thing I can never do.

  Even this short time with Jack has turned everything I believed on its head. I’d become used to using long hours of hard work and an excess of alcohol to dull my senses. I no longer trust my own feelings anymore. I alternate from being coolly compliant to becoming this smart-mouthed creature trying to push him away. Even then, I want him to consume me. I’m too confused to know what it is I feel.

  In the underground car park, Blackstock waits by a huge black Mercedes limousine. Tonight we’re travelling in style. “Good evening, Mr Keogh. Miss Caid.”

  “Blackstock.”

  Jack’s driver studiously averts his eyes. I have way too much voluptuous flesh on show but he’s a respectful employee. He holds the back door open for me to get in. Jack enters at the other side. Once beside me he gives my hand a gentle squeeze but I pull it from his grasp, unsettled. He frowns at me and takes my hand back again like he’s claiming territory and I don’t fight him. I need his security too much right now.

  He thinks everything between us is settled. He can be so very dense sometimes. Every minute things unravel a little bit more.

  The hired limousine is lavish and roomy but my dress feels tight and I find it difficult to stay in one place on the polished leather seat as the car circles and exits. I slither all over the place in spite of the seat belt. My nerves are completely strung out what with the ball, the shifting emotional sands I’m negotiating and this latest complication of a padlock engraved with an eternal knot. I fight the urge to fling open the door.

  “Why are you fidgeting?”

  “This dress is too tight. I can hardly breathe. It’s not designed to sit down in, that’s for sure.” I find safety in anger and squirm until even I worry it might fall apart at the seams. He’d have to take me back home then, wouldn’t he?