by B. F. Simone
“You just got jacked by the candy ninja,” she said before she realized how stupid it was.
“What?” Adam said, starting to laugh again.
“I don’t think it’s ninja if I saw you,” Tristan said, stealing back a skittle. He popped it in his mouth and scrunched up his face. He squinted his eyes and swallowed hard.
“What’s wrong? Don’t like food?” Brian said, draining the rest of his egg nog.
“I almost forgot you were here,” Tristan sighed.
“I live here.”
“So do I.”
“I did too once,” Katie said. “You live down the hall right?” She looked at Brian. “I knew you looked familiar.”
“You all live together?” Christi asked. Her voice startled Katie. She had been so quiet—how unlike her.
“I don’t anymore,” Katie trailed off. Talking about it felt like an invasion of privacy. She never should have mentioned it.
“Oh. How about you Tristan, you’re Brian’s cousin right?” Christi wasn’t taking the hint.
“Something like that,” Brian said, raising his eyebrows.
“Sorry, it’s just this is as much as I’ve heard you talk. You only hang out with Katie and Allison. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Christi said, giving Katie a look. The look bothered Katie. There was something behind it, like she was saying, “it’s true,” or “that’s a good thing.”
Tristan raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Everyone in the room averted their eyes, pretending not to see his indifference.
“We might have all hung out last semester, but Brian kind of ditched us,” Katie said. “I didn’t mean ditch—” she turned to Brian and offered an apology.
“Well he did,” Allison said under her breath.
“Don’t be a bitch, Allison.” Brian twirled his glass.
“Piss off,” Allison smiled back at him. If looks could kill….
Brian flicked Allison the middle finger, he always had to have the last word.
“Why did you guys stop being friends?” Michael said, sucking on the rest of his candy cane. “I thought you were like one step away from getting together.”
“Seriously, Michael? Because that’s not the most awkward question to ask right now,” Jenn said.
Me and this girl could be friends.
“Well that doesn’t matter anymore. You and Tristan are like inseparable now, right?” Christi said, nodding her head. Katie wanted to hit her. Why was everyone talking about her love life. No. She didn’t have a love life, they were making it into that.
“She can have more than one friend, Christi,” Brian frowned. Brian emphasized friend.
“That’s right, only you dump off one set of friends for the other, right?” Tristan said.
“How about we all be friends? Kumbaya? Anyone bring a guitar?” Katie smiled, but no one smiled back. She was no longer in control of the situation. It was turning into something—something dangerous.
“I only stopped because she started hanging around you,” Brian spat back.
“Okay, that’s a lie,” Katie said.
“No it’s not. You two were inseparable the day he got here,” Brian said with astonishment scribbled on his face.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. You started avoiding me the day after Preliminaries, and you know why. Don’t give me that bullshit you’re spewing. I’m not stupid.”
“Bullshit? You’ve been ‘buddy buddy’ with him rubbing it in my face. Like you’ve found a new best-friend.”
“You’re delusional, Brian.” She flung M&M’s across the table on accident, but she was too mad to apologize.
“And you’re spiteful, Katie,” he sang back.
“Spiteful about what? You ditching me when I needed you?”
“You’re so full of yourself.”
“Me? I’m the one with a ego problem?”
“Yes. I made new friends and you can’t stand that. Ever since then you’ve been a spiteful little shit.”
“I am not some clingy little girl,” Katie yelled.
“Ha!” Brian twisted his lips into a cruel smile.
“If anything, I think she’d be spiteful about you using her as target practice,” Tristan said.
“Wait, you shot her? I thought Katie shot Jenn in the head with yellow paint during preliminaries. I did hear that right, right?” Michael said, stuffing M&M’s into his mouth.
“It was an accident,” he mumbled
“Like you being a guardian?” Tristan said, staring at Brian. An eruption of laughter from the adjacent party filled the room. It was obnoxious. Un-welcomed.
“Ouch,” Ethan chimed. Katie wanted to get up and rip his throat out. Where had he come from? He was like a fly on the wall, big and irritating. A disgusting fly. She wanted to set fire to his wings and watch him fall off.
“Hey, guys,” Lucinda said, poking her head in the room. “Everyone come out I have an announcement to make.” She winked at Katie before she saw the frowns on all there faces. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah, just ate too much candy,” Katie said, trying to paste a smile on her face. She left the dining room feeling like the music was too loud, there was too much laugher, and too many smiles.
Lucinda waved Tristan up to the fireplace. Tristan tucked his hands into his pockets—a sign that he was annoyed.
“This year’s party is more than just another Christmas party.” All the talking dwindled. “We are also celebrating the fact that we have a new edition to our house. He’s just as stubborn as me, but a wonderful boy all the same.” There were kind laughs and light cheering, as Lucinda raised her glass of wine in the air and every one toasted to them.
Katie was taken aback. She smiled, but couldn’t help feel uneasy as she watched Brian in the corner, his head tossed back, draining a new glass of egg nog.
“This is from Lucy and me,” Will said, smiling bright. He handed Tristan a small box. “Don’t worry, just a Christmas Eve present.”
Inside was a homemade stocking for him. No doubt handmade by Lucinda. Tristan’s face was unreadable. To every one he looked happy and thankful, but to Katie…. She knew him too well to know that it was anything but a mask. He searched the crowd for her and when their eyes met, she knew he hated the stocking. It meant that he had a home and was wanted. It meant he had to let go of all the anger and resentment that swam around in his thoughts.
“That’s just what this family needs. A halfbreed,” Brian slurred. The chatter died as he made his way towards the fireplace, another glass in hand, this time it was full of a dark liquor. He wasn’t even hiding it now.
“Where did you get that?” Lucinda said between gritted teeth.
Katie quickly moved to him, grabbing his arm. “Let’s go, Brian.” She needed to get him out of the living room before everyone noticed he was drunk out of his mind, and before Lucinda unhinged. But everyone wasn’t looking at him. They were looking at Tristan.
“Get off me,” Brian yelled, shoving Katie. His fingers caught in her necklace and it pulled, snapping from off her neck. She crashed into a woman and hit the ground covered in eggnog and Brian’s alcohol. Rum, she could smell it and her mind started to spin.
“Tristan don’t!” Lucinda yelled. In a instant Tristan was on Brian and Katie was filled with his hatred.
I should have killed him, she heard him think.
Will stepped in front of him and they stared each other down. Tristan’s jaw was stiff, he breathed rapidly and his nostrils flared. “Does he have to shoot her again before you believe me?” Tristan said only loud enough for her and Will to hear. He offered Katie a hand. Her hand touched his, and she felt it. All the eyes on them, as if she were touching a rabid animal.
“You think you’re better than me? You’ll never be anything but halfbreed scum. You’ll never be apart of this family,” Brian yelled red in the face. Spit flew from his mouth. “You think you can replace me?” Will back-handed him across the face. Brian fell back a few feet and t
he room was filled with gasped. Eyes flickered between Brian holding his face, Will daring his son to say one more thing, and Tristan.
But the eyes of disgust lingered on Tristan. Somehow, he was worse than the toxic waste that oozed from Brian. What if they had known she was like him? People she had known for years. What would they call her…Katie or halfbreed?
Her dad was making his way towards them.
“Come on Kay,” Allison said, picking up the necklace from of the floor. It was laying in a puddle of milky eggnog. Katie let her hand drop out of Tristan’s.
She stared into his stormy blue eyes. The Black Void sent chaotic waves of rage and misery between them both—but he turned from her, pulling it all away. She felt nothing. Nothing but her own fear and fury.
Allison pulled her out of the living room, and Tristan disappeared out of her sight.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The party was dying. Katie could hear it die from upstairs. Allison was trying to get the eggnog out of the dress and cursing Brian to hell. There was a knock on the door. Katie opened it. Her dad. His eyebrows rested above his eyes as if to say, “What did I tell you?”
“Can you excuse us, Allison?” When the door closed he sighed. “Now do you see why I didn’t want you to know? You saw the way they turned on him, and with just one word.”
Katie said she didn’t care, but it did unnerve her. Her dad looked out the window as people spilled out of the house like it was the site of an outbreak and they were all in danger of catching the disease.
“Will and Lucinda are going to lose face with all these hypocrites,” he said, shaking his head.
When he finished his rant, she said goodbye to him and he went home. She had packed a bag to stay the night. She expected the party to last a lot longer than it did.
Will screamed at Brian non-stop; though his voice was muffled, isolated words like, “This is it,” or “Boarding school,” lingered in her room. Boarding school, bothered her more than anything else he said. Allison said that was were kids who got their memories erased went. Will would never do something like that. He was a calm man. But she never thought he’d hit Brian the way he did either. Always the light slap on the back of the head when he wanted to get his point across. Tonight he hit Brian like a man.
Lucinda kept creeping into her room and asking if she was all right, apologizing for Brian as if Katie were a stranger and she, completely embarrassed, was unaware of where the rage had come from or that it was even there.
When all the noise settled down and Katie washed the eggnog out of her hair, it was a little passed midnight. It was Christmas. She looked out the window wrapped in her towel. Snow blew everywhere, big white puffs covering everything in sight. At least one thing had gone right amongst all the drama. She felt guilty. Tristan. What was he thinking right now?
She sat down at her desk and picked up the book she’d gotten him. She had gone back to the book store and bought that old copy of Othello. Touching it now made her sure he’d like it—leather bound, soft, and a little droopy the way an old worn book is. She could give him his present now—it was officially Christmas.
She put it back in the gift bag on her desk and brushed her hair. She put it in a braid, then decided it looked better loose. She put on her best tank-top that showed off her arms. She wished she’d actually had packed the matching pajama bottoms. Instead she’d packed the sweats that hung low. At least they’d show off her flat stomach.
She picked up the jade turtle Brian had given her. It was still sticky with egg nog, and it smelled sour. She put it back on the dresser.
What about her face? Lip gloss. She needed lip gloss.
She rummaged through the bottom desk drawer, shifting through candy wrappers, old essay papers, pencil shavings, and loose index cards she’d left here from a few months ago. Finally, there it was, a perfect stick of pink. Sweet cherry rolled across her lips. She used her towel to wipe most of it off, so they didn’t look so shiny.
She grabbed the gift bag and eased down the hallway. She went down the stairs two at a time, skipping the last one that creaked. She started to knock, but held back a smile as she turned the knob instead. He’d know she was there.
It was locked.
“Tristan?” she whispered, feeling embarrassed. The door clicked and opened.
“Katalina?” he looked her over and half-smiled. She looked away trying not to blush.
“I got you something,” she held out the gift bag.
“Let me guess, Othello?” he said, taking it from her. “I heard you thinking about it a few minutes ago.”
She felt deflated, silly, and stupid all at once.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Just killed the surprise.”
“The surprise isn’t what makes it the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”
She couldn’t look at him, not with the stupid huge grin on her face. “So you like it?”
“Of course. It’s from my best-friend.”
Best-friend.
He walked to his desk and pulled out a package from the top drawer.
“You got me something?” The butterflies made it hard for her to breathe. She didn’t expect a gift.
“Yeah, a while ago.” His thumb rubbed across the package as he studied it. Did he think she wouldn’t like it? His eyes met hers.
“It’s not the gift that makes it the best gift I’ve ever gotten.” Her stomach leaped at the small smile he gave her. She took it. It was heavy. She opened it, carefully to preserve the thoughtfully wrapped paper. She took the lid off a thin brown box and opened and closed her mouth until she said, “wow.”
In the box was a twin set of knives with ivory grips and printed pink roses climbing the grips in spirals vines. Next to the knives was a silver plated pistol with a grip that matched the knives. They shined with expensive beauty. “How much did these cost you?” She was afraid to touch them.
“Doesn’t matter. That pistol will never misfire on you, and those knives are handmade to perfection.”
She picked them up, one by one feeling the grace they exuded. They were light to the touch, an extension of her arm; perfection. “Tristan, this really is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”
“I’m glad you like them.”
“I love them.” She looked up ready to throw her arms around him, but he looked away.
“I’ve been thinking we should really push harder in training. Your hand to hand is pretty good, but you’ve got to work on being comfortable with a knife.” He sat down on the other side of the bed. Pluto was closer to her than him. He wasn’t looking at her, or being relaxed. He was calculated. “We have a good week before school starts back up. I bet we could get a lot done if we ask Lucinda to train three times a day.”
Why was he acting like he couldn’t hear her. If he knew she got him Othello, if he had been listening to her thoughts, he would have known she was coming down to give it to him. Why did he lock the door? If he had been listening, he would have known why she put on the cherry lip gloss and the stupid too-tight tank top.
“Is there something you’re trying to tell me?” she said, feeling dumb and disgusted.
He stared at the floor. “What do you mean?”
“You’re being—weird.”
“Since when is me talking about training weird?”
“You know what I mean.”
He raised his eyebrows and shrugged. That display of indifference and mock confusion. Pluto was also much warmer. But it was something more than that; something she had hadn’t felt for a while, until now. His wall.
“If you have something to say to me, just say it,” she said, pushing back the hole she felt growing from the pit of her stomach out. It was eating everything in its path, leaving behind panic.
“Don’t be a girl, Katalina. You’re making this more than what it is.”
“If I’m being a girl now, what was I before?”
“I don’t know, normal.”
“So I’m only any g
ood if we’re wrestling out in the backyard and making jokes?”
“We don’t wrestle.”
“Because that’s the point I’m making.”
“Well, yes—I mean no.”
“Did you honestly just say yes?”
“I didn’t mean that. I meant when we’re training and joking around, that’s normal. This, I don’t know—you’re being weird.”
You might as well have called me ugly.
“That’s not what I said. You don’t look ugly. You’re not ugly”
“So now you can hear me? If me being a girl weirds you out so much why’d you open the door?” She balled up her fist, in between punching him in the face and crying.
“You don’t see how I might think what you’re feeling now is weird?”
She stood up and grabbed her box. “Thanks for the present, Asshole.”
“Katalina,” he called as she swung his door open. She didn’t care about being quiet as she ran up the stairs and to her room. She put the box on her desk and sat on the bed. She was shaking she was so mad. She hated, absolutely hated, him. How much of a jerk did someone have to be to go from nearly kissing her to complete indifference? She felt like a complete idiot. She opened up to him, treasured the fact that he let her in. Now she was paying for it, but she had learned her lesson.
Christmas was as pathetic as her relationship with Tristan. Will packed up Brian and flew him out to Seattle to live with his Uncle. Lucinda cried in her room. Tristan didn’t come out of his room, and at home Katie just sat in front of the TV with her dad watching The Christmas Story. It was a pathetic day. She couldn’t think about anything except how she now hated Tristan with her every fiber. But she didn’t, did she? Not really. If she did she wouldn’t have gone to bed early and cried.
Everyday for the rest of break all she did was train, from sun up until she passed out. Lucinda worked them harder each day. And they accomplished a lot now that they didn’t talk. Katie almost skipped every lesson, but Lucinda was not in the mood to be crossed and Katie couldn’t stay away anyway. She hated herself for it. It was always better to hate him while he was standing in front of her than if she didn’t see him all day. Though, when she did see him, she let him hear just how much she hated every little thing he did.