Adrenaline Rush

by Cindy M. Hogan

  I noticed right off that they were happy. They laughed, told jokes, and sang interesting songs I’d never heard before. They’d found their little piece of heaven in this terrible place. I thought about them helping the artists with their colors and wondered how I might have them help with an escape. I wondered if they grew anything poisonous. While I needed to find a different kind of subversive, these gardeners were still subversives, and I bet if push came to shove, they would help me.

  I moved away from the path and found a tree to sit against, and I listened to them. It relaxed me, and brought me home to working in my parents’ garden every Saturday in the summer. It was an activity I thoroughly enjoyed. I even loved canning what we grew, especially tomatoes and strawberry jam.

  At some point, I dozed off. I woke when my head bobbed. Dakota sat next to me. In an I-just-woke-up panic, I scooted away from him. He put his finger to his lips and pointed to the gardeners who were still hard at work. He stood, and waved for me to follow him. I’m not sure why, but I did. Once we were far enough away from them and they couldn’t hear or see us, he turned and grabbed me into a hug. I resisted at first, but when I heard him sobbing, I relaxed and let him cry.

  Once he stopped, he said, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that you’re here.”

  Anger still burned in my chest. I couldn’t stop it from entering our conversation even though I needed to win him over to my side.

  “I thought you were back home, looking for me,” I said, “worrying about me, mourning me. I thought you were frantic and here you are, the one who sent me here.”

  “I already told you,” Dakota said. “I didn’t know you were the blonde girl they said joined the group—you had black hair. I didn’t even know it was you. The day after they took you, when I discovered you were gone along with all the others from the Avengers, I thought I might break into a thousand pieces.”

  I could see he was telling the truth, but I wanted to hurt him like he’d hurt me.

  “You should have trusted me and told me what was going on instead of professing your love for me that night. This is your fault.”

  I watched the hurt in his eyes turn to anger. “Yeah, right,” he said. “‘By the way, Misha, I help someone kidnap eighteen-year-olds. We’re about to abduct the Avengers. So stay away from them.’ I don’t think so. You should have just listened to me.”

  He had a point, but still, I was mad. “How can you be a part of this?”

  “I didn’t have a choice.” He shifted his weight to his other foot.

  “We all have choices.”

  “I don’t.”

  “You do.” I tilted my head to the side.

  “No. I don’t. If Sterling knew that I was here, right now with you, he would make your life more than miserable. I made sure he would be busy right now and not be on the hunt for you.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “If he knew something was between us—”

  “You keep saying that. What does that mean?”

  “He can’t know.”

  “But there is something between us. You can tell him, and he’ll release me.”

  “Not on your life. Not now, anyway. Not now that you’re his favorite. That he sees you as his star.”

  “I’ve been trying to get on his good side so I can bolt.”

  “And you’re doing a great job. I have no doubt you’ll find a way one day to get out of here. I mean, you counsel with him.” He shook his head.

  Was jealousy lacing his words? “Not because I want to, but because I have to. If you would tell him to free me, this would be over.”

  “No, he has strict fraternizing rules. Why couldn’t you have simply worked under him, not with him? You could have been a normal soldier, out of his line of sight. Then maybe I would have had a chance to help you. Instead, you meet with him? You’ve made yourself untouchable. I can’t help you as much as I want to.”

  Was my plan backfiring on me? Should I have laid low like he said? “Why do you work for this evil man? Quit. Or at least tell someone about what he’s doing. You are free out there and could tell someone.”

  “I can’t quit. There are things in play here that you don’t understand. I can’t tell a soul.”

  “You could find a way. Whatever he’s holding over you, you can find a way around it. I believe in you.” I had a sudden thought. A ray of hope. “Take a letter to my parents so they know I’m alive.”

  “There’s no way. It’s too dangerous for you. If Sterling found out, he would kill me and you. I’ll try to protect you while you’re here, but I’m stuck, just like you. I was so mad at you that you didn’t listen to me and stay away from the Avengers. I thought I might go mad with grief. I want to help you so bad. But—it’s just not possible.

  His shoulders hunched, and I could tell he was about to lose it again. I felt bad for him. I think he really believed he had no choice.

  I sighed and gave his hand a squeeze. I wasn’t going to give up on this, but I sensed it was wrong to push it tonight. We stood in silence, holding hands, until my tablet chimed, alerting me that the last shuttle from the motocross stadium was leaving.

  “I’d better go,” I said and began walking back toward the path.

  “Wait,” Dakota pulled me back toward him. “I have to leave—day after tomorrow.”

  “Off to find new assassins, then?” I said cuttingly. “Well, have a good time. Try not to fall in love with any of them. It might make your life difficult.”

  “Stop, Misha. It’s not like that,” he said, his voice soft and sincere. “You’re the only one I care about. I want to help you, there’s just nothing I can do.” He paused, as if unsure if he should continue. “Will you meet me again tomorrow?”

  It seemed as though his entire world hung on my answer.

  I hesitated, then finally nodded.

  Once in my room that night, I wrote a letter to give to Dakota to take. I was betting on getting him to agree to take it. He’d said it was impossible, but I knew he could find a way. I was sure of it, because I knew something about him. He loved me.

  My third chore day came around. I worked in the laundry all day. It was terribly hot and humid work. At seven-thirty, I made my way out to the baseball field. Dakota held a bundle of blankets in his arms, hugged tight to his chest as if protecting himself. It made him seem so helpless, my heart softened toward him. I was still angry from yesterday, but I pushed those feelings down. I knew I had to let my affection for him come to the forefront. I needed him, and I needed him to see that. I had to let myself be vulnerable, too.

  I spoke first, letting some softness into my voice. “I knew you were trouble from the moment I saw you.” I laughed quietly to let him know I meant it fondly.

  He lifted a hand to my cheek. “You’re the one who’s trouble.”

  I leaned my head a little into his hand.

  “Remember that time we rafted the river? I never told you this, but that thing with the peppermint gum… it completely won my heart.”

  “Really? The gum? Not my good looks, not my amazing feats of bravery—gum?”

  “Amazing feats? Hardly!” I teased. I pushed him a little, and he dropped the blanket. I helped him spread it out on the ground, and we sat down. I played with a stray thread for a moment, then I looked him straight in the eye. “No, it was the gum. While everyone was off getting drunk, you chewed peppermint gum in the darkness, and fell asleep on a blanket. It told me something about you that no amazing feat of bravery ever could.”

  “And what was that?”

  “It told me you were someone I could love.”

  He looked down, and I was surprised to see shame on his face.

  “You shouldn’t…” he choked on the words. I held my hand to his lips and shook my head, moving closer to him and leaning my forehead against his. My fingers slowly dropped from his mouth, and I replaced them with my own lips. I kissed him long and deeply, and I could feel him relax as I gave him this expression of trust.
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  I pulled away and sighed, “Do you have to leave tomorrow?”

  “Yes, I don’t have a choice. I’ll be back in about three weeks.”

  “Dakota,” I said, reaching into the pocket of my jumpsuit and pulling out my letter. I put it into his hand. “I’m their only child. Please take it to them.”

  “I can’t.” He tried to hand it back to me. I pushed his hand away.

  “They must be worried sick.” I let tears pool in my eyes.

  “And they won’t be, knowing you’re here?” he scoffed.

  “I didn’t tell them where I was. I lied. Here, read it.”

  He opened the paper and started reading it out loud.

  Mom and Dad,

  I love you. I’m sorry I left without telling you, but I couldn’t take the chance you’d try and stop me. I ran away with a great guy, so you don’t need to worry about me. I love him. We are great together. I need some time and space. I will come home eventually if you just let me be and stop looking for me. I love you and miss you. Please don’t worry. I’m happy and safe. Your loving daughter,

  Misha

  In the letter I had coded, Dakota is the recruiter, huge compound in the south, humidity, assassins, extreme danger.

  “I want them to have hope.” My voice caught.

  He grabbed me into a hug.

  “Please. Get word to them.” I said into his chest through my partially fake tears. “So that they won’t mourn me anymore.”

  “I want to, but it would put you in too much danger.”

  “I can protect myself. Besides, you’re smart. You can find a way to get it to them without endangering you or me. I know it.” I pushed back from him and let him see my tear-stained face. I needed him to see my emotion again. He brushed my tears away.

  “It’s too risky.”

  “No. No. Unacceptable. I know you can do it. I won’t take that letter back.”

  He was shaking his head. I was nodding mine.

  He started to argue, then something in his pocket beeped. He pulled out a phone. He had a phone? Zoey had been right. This wasn’t a no-radio-transmission zone. I had to get my hands on that phone. He read the text and then said, “Look, I just—I don’t think I can do it.”

  I had to push. I let some of the anger back into my voice. “You find a way!”

  “Can’t we just be together and enjoy each other right now? I leave tomorrow.”

  “It’s kinda hard doing that here with your boss watching.”

  “Well, he can’t see or hear us now. Let’s enjoy the moment.” He kissed me gently, and I tried to figure out a way to get my hands on his phone. I thought if I waited long enough, he would fall asleep. He never did and the way he was holding me, it was impossible to even try. I would get it next time. I didn’t dare risk a move that he might detect. He would never trust me again. Patience. Patience.

  When I finally went back to my room, Dakota still possessed the letter I’d written to Jeremy.

  It would be a long three weeks wondering if Dakota delivered the letter. I didn’t sit idly waiting, though. Instead I continued exploring the compound. One day, I ran into a group of boys and girls laughing in the woods. I stole closer to them and noticed they were looking at something propped on a tree. A few steps closer and I could see they were watching TV on someone’s tablet. They had figured out how to get TV? No way. If they could do that, maybe they could get Internet.

  “Hi guys,” I said, moving in and taking a seat before they could react. A boy with magenta hair reached for the tablet they were using to broadcast TV. “It’s okay,” I said. “Please don’t take it down. I haven’t watched TV in over three months, and I’m dying to.”

  Suspicious eyes fell on me.

  “Please!” I whined.

  “Aren’t you Sterling’s right-hand girl?” a girl with white hair asked.

  “I don’t know what you mean by that, but if you’re asking if I’ll tell Sterling about you guys, the answer is no. I want to watch TV just as much as the rest of you.”

  “It’s back on,” a girl with puke green hair said.

  The group fell silent and watched the show. It was fun watching TV with everyone. At the end, I asked, “Why do you only have it on one tablet? Is there a way I can get it on mine?”

  “It’s expensive, and the guys that do it won’t do it for everyone.”

  “Expensive? What do you mean?” I frowned.

  “All ten of us had to take several weeks of the guys’ chores in order to get TV on this one tablet. We all shared in the cost.”

  “Can I share in the cost, too, then?” I asked. “I’d love to watch with you.” The commerce of this place was interesting. Goods and services cost labor. I understood how valuable that could be now that I’d spent three long days doing chores.

  “We’ll discuss it after you leave. If everyone’s okay with it, we’ll get in touch with you the next time we watch.”

  “Oh,” I said, standing to leave. “Thanks for considering it. Please. Please let me.” I put my hands together like I was praying as I walked away.

  Someone, or several someones, here were very tech savvy. I needed to find these people and get the Internet.

  As I blasted through all my classes, I kept telling myself I was making myself a better spy by gaining all the knowledge the classes gave me. That idea, thoughts of Jeremy, and weekends were my only escape.

  My six meetings with Sterling while Dakota was gone were interesting to say the least. He demonstrated such erratic behavior. He took me into the room where I’d seen Dakota and had me sit in the middle of what he called the four elements: a lit candle, a jar of earth, a jar of water, and a fan. Then we watched ten different TV shows. He asked the elements to guide him to the person he was supposed to banish from the earth next. He was a psycho. I was glad when we only did it three times in a row.

  The last three meetings, we worked on the president’s assassination. We discussed power outages, blocking cell reception, blocking off streets, and cutting power to generators. I spent my time between meetings trying to figure out a way to save the president. There was no way I was going to actually kill him.

  Since I was so far ahead with my studies in chemicals, I volunteered to help the other advanced students in conducting special research with the chemicals instructor.

  Frankie got a new boyfriend and so did Zoey. Frankie had a secret talk with the Whitie, James, and got him to take Zoey out. They double dated. I didn’t especially like either one of the guys, so instead of being the fifth wheel, I got Duncan to help me search the compound for anything that might help in an escape. I found that he was easier to keep on board if I involved him in important tasks. We found seven generators and figured there were probably more elsewhere. Duncan wanted to believe I could pull together a great escape, but his faith was faltering, and I had to re-talk him into the idea every time we got together.

  I got several things from the subversives, including a delivery schedule for linens and cleaning supplies, food and clothing, and lab materials. They were all flown in. If only there were cars—they were much easier to hijack. I also learned the location of the compound that housed all the Blackies that weren’t on campus on a regular basis.

  Sterling and I discussed the drugs we were going to use. They would have to be slow acting, taking about two hours to take full effect. Sterling would assign a team to discover which of the drugs the research facility had been illegally testing would be the best. They wouldn’t have a chance to fly or take the president anywhere because without speedy medical attention, he would die. Besides, there wasn’t a landing pad at the hospital.

  It shocked me when Dakota sent me a message to meet him just past the outdoor volleyball and basketball courts. It had already been three more weeks? I started to really reckon time with his visits. It had already been four months. Unbelievable. I ran to him when I saw him. I had to make him believe I cared for him the same way he cared for me. He cradled me softly under a big maple tree.
It was devoid of leaves, and the air was cold. He smelled good and I inhaled deeply.

  “Three weeks is too long. I could hardly stand it.” He sighed and planted a kiss on my forehead.

  “I know,” I whispered into his chest. I put my pointer fingers into the very top edges of his jeans pockets, hoping to get him used to feeling me touch around his pockets so I would have a better chance of getting his phone. I wanted to ask about the letter and if he delivered it, but thought I’d wait until we’d been together a little while at least. Since it was comforting to have him here, it wasn’t difficult to make him think that his presence was the greatest thing ever and the letter didn’t matter.

  He held my hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. He told me about what he’d been doing the past three weeks. He’d moved on to a new high school and was just scouting out the kids.

  “Which high school?” I said.

  “I can’t tell you that.”

  “Why not? Who could I possibly tell?”

  “It’s not that…”

  “Never mind. I get it.” I was trying to keep things happy and interesting. I had to control my temper. “How often do you bring in selections?”

  “About once a year.”

  “But there are so many people here.”

  “Yep. I’m not the only one recruiting.”

  “If there are other recruiters, why won’t Sterling let you stop?”

  “It’s complicated. You have no idea.”

  “Clue me in then. Why is a great guy like you doing the dirty work of a deranged man?”

  He shook his head slowly back and forth. His face was red with either embarrassment or anger, I couldn’t tell.

  “You just don’t understand,” he whispered and looked at his feet.

  “Make me understand!” I spat through my teeth.

  “He’s my father,” he whispered. “My father.” He stared at me, hard faced, his eyes swimming.

  My hand flew up to my mouth. I didn’t know what to say. He rocked back and forth from one foot to the other, his face angled down now.