by Kip Nelson
Edge of Bloodshed
Beyond The Collapse Book 3
Kip Nelson
Copyright © 2017 by Kip Nelson
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter One
Adam's nerves were jangling as the army marched away from the camp, through the streets of the city. He looked around him and saw a mixture of emotions on the faces of his allies. Some of them were scared, much like him, shock and uncertainty etched into their eyes and their jaws. They hadn't signed up for this, hadn't expected this, but now were thrust into a war and only could pray they would emerge alive. Adam always had considered himself a pacifist, and the only outlet for violence he had was in the video games he had played and designed. Although even then, he tried showing that war was not a good thing, as it saddened him that so many best-selling games revolved around war.
In his opinion, much of humanity's darker parts revolved around war, and it was not something to be celebrated or enjoyed. Yet, living in this new world had shown him that sometimes violence was necessary to survive. Sometimes the law was as simple as kill or be killed. It wasn't something he was happy about, but it was the way of the world. There was nothing he could do to change it, and either he resisted and died, or adapted and survived.
Others, though, they were meant for this. They walked with purpose and their eyes were eager. They almost licked their lips as they relished the thought of combat so much.
They scared him.
For people like that the fighting never would be over, and they'd want to lash out at anyone or anything that gave them even the slightest reason. They were the ones who were made for this world. The ones who would not want to rebuild the world into a better place, but to see it descend into anarchy and chaos, where strength proved to be the superior force and there was no place for rational discussion or benevolence. He walked side by side with these people, yet he didn't feel he was marching for a great cause, and his heart wasn't filled with a patriotic spirit or pride for his homeland. This all seemed so sudden and so confusing. He wondered if other people through the years had felt like this when they had marched off to war, or if they had known their purpose.
And then, of course, there was the fact that this very well could lead to Adam's death. The thought weighed heavily on his mind, and he knew that not everyone around him was going to survive. He could see the same fear in the eyes of many others as well. Many of them he hadn't even had the chance to meet, and he likely never would. For some people the end of the world had been just that, an ending, and they hadn't wanted even to attempt thriving in the new world.
Adam was different. He had discovered new things about himself, and was only just on the first leg of this new journey. There were still so many things he had to discover about himself, and he didn't like the thought of dying at all. Especially not dying on a random street from a random bullet. He thought of Tara, too. He wanted to see her again, but he knew it was just his luck that he would die before he got the chance to tell her how he really felt about her.
The army’s footsteps thundered against the ground. The clinking and rattling of metal and the gasping breaths, as some were going more quickly than they would have liked, echoed around him. He looked around as they marched and realized he had become part of the thing he had feared. If anyone was alone in the city, they would have cowered at the sight of all these men and women marching through the streets, armed to the teeth, ready to go to war.
“Come on! Come on! We don't have all the time in the world! Keep up! I see you straggling at the back there, we can't have that! I want to see eagerness on your faces. I want to see how much you're looking forward to defending the camp! They robbed from us, they stole from us, this is what has to be done,” Lee yelled.
Adam's stomach roiled with hatred. If anyone had to die in this battle, Lee surely deserved it. Then again, Adam got the sense that he was the type of person for whom things just worked out no matter what. He probably would emerge unscathed, and that made Adam all the more annoyed.
“I've got a bad feeling about this,” he muttered, falling into step with Diana. Pete was on the other side of him, and the three of them were sticking together. Pete didn't reply. Adam didn't like the sickly pallor of his face.
“I've had a bad feeling since the first day we met that woman. Trust me, if Annabelle wasn't back there, I'd be running away right now. I'm not made for war, and frankly, if I'm going to go to war, I'd prefer to have a good idea about who it is I'm fighting, and why.” Diana said.
“You don't believe them that they stole our food and attacked our people? I mean, you saw how bad that guy's injuries were.”
“I did, but I'm not sure it's as cut and dried as Lisa said. All we have to go on is her word, and you and I both know that's not worth shit. I want to protect the place as long as it's a just cause, but I don't trust Lisa.”
“No, me neither, really, and I think this is all very sudden. I mean, look at us, there are only a handful of people here who actually are made to be soldiers. The rest of us are just going to fumble along. It's not like they've given us any formal training or anything.”
Inside he felt awful because Diana and Peter had not signed up for this. They only were part of that camp because Adam had insisted after he'd stood up to Lee and made a good impression. Back then Adam had argued that he thought it was the best for them all, because being part of a community had to be better than living in the squalor of the apartment block. However, deep down, Adam wondered if he hadn't done it just through a fear of being alone, and now he had plunged them all into serious danger. If none of them made it back, Annabelle was going to be on her own, too. She already had lost her parents, how would she cope with losing the others? Once again Adam chastised himself, angry that he had made so many mistakes.
He glanced across at Peter. The old man looked haggard, and even older than before. His skin was pale, and he looked as though he was about to throw up. His legs shuffled across the ground and the gun hung limply from his hands. He wasn't a man bred for war. He was a meek man, a mild man, a simple man who had seen plenty of suffering in his life and didn't need to see any more. He was one of those who Lee had pointed out were not moving fast enough. Adam had to try prodding Pete into marching faster because Adam didn't want Lee to take out his wrath on the old man. Adam knew Lee was looking for any excuse.
Pete was mumbling and muttering under his breath, something that Adam couldn't understand.
“Pete, Pete, are you okay?” he whispered, but Pete did not respond. Adam exchanged a worried glance with Diana, and then went to wrap his arm around Pete's waist. “We have to keep moving, Pete. I know this sucks, but we don't want to get left behind.”
Adam didn't know if Pete heard his words or not, because Pete suddenly fell to his knees, holding his hands to his ears as if to blot out a terrible noise, his face twisted in anguish. His gun clattered to the ground and lay beside Pete, looking like nothing more than a hunk of metal.
“We can't do it! We can't burn them all!” Pete cried, his voice trembling with sorrow. Adam and Diana stopped, as did a few people around them. Others continued moving forward. Pete was in a sorry state, and Adam didn't understand what had brought on this panic attack.
“Has he done this before?” Diana asked.
“Not as long as I've known him,” Adam said as he crouched down and tried getting through to Pete. Pete's eyes were clamped shut, so Adam placed his hands against Pete's head and tried breaking through whatever memory had so traumatized Pete.
“Pete, it's Adam. I'm here, with Diana. You're safe. You're in the city. Nobody is going to burn anyone. Pete, believe me, you're safe. We're all here. You're not alone, and you don't have to worry about a thing.”
Pete's chest was rising and falling at an alarming rate and he almost was hyperventilating. For a moment he cracked his eyes open, but Adam didn't know if Pete saw him or not. He had a faraway look in his eyes, as though he was lost in a memory. What memory that was, however, Adam did not know, and he wished he could get through to Pete.
There always had been something melancholy about Pete and the way he spoke of the past, but Adam never really had delved into it. After all, he wasn't a counselor, and if Pete had wanted to talk about anything, then Adam assumed he would have brought it up sooner or later. However, now he wished he had pressed for more information. Maybe then he would have been able to help Pete more in this instance rather than having to sit there helplessly as Pete had this panic attack.
The other makeshift soldiers flowed around them and past them. Some came up to them, but merely looked on, unable to offer any kind of assistance. Most carried on marching for fear of Lee, whose attention, incidentally, had been captured by the commotion. He strode back from the front of the army and came upon Pete, sneering down at him.
“What the hell is going on here?” he asked Adam.
Adam, whose attention had been focused solely on Pete, now turned to look up at Lee, scowling. “I don't know for sure, but he's having some kind of panic attack.”
“What the fuck? Now? This ain't the time. Get him back on his feet and keep walking. We can't waste time like this.”
“What do you mean waste time? Look at him, he's clearly in no state to be a part of this army! We need to go back and take care of him.”
“No way! For all I know this is just a trick to get you guys out of fighting. You're in this now. We need you. So, get him to man the fuck up and get his head in the fight. Otherwise, he won't last long, and for fuck's sake, keep him quiet. We don't need everyone knowing we're out here. Get your head in the game,” he said tersely, looking upon Pete with derision.
Adam's finger tightened on the trigger of his gun. It would have been so easy to kill Lee there and then. Obviously, it would have caused a commotion and Adam would have been punished for it, but it may have been worth it...if only he could have been assured he would bear the punishment alone. Yet, it was likely that Pete, Diana, and even perhaps Annabelle would have to suffer from the consequences of his actions, and he wasn't willing to put them at risk again. He'd done enough of that already.
As Lee moved off Adam glared at him, almost trembling with rage. Lee had other allies and there were too many other people around. Adam would have to wait to get his revenge, but it would come. Oh yes, he just would have to bide his time.
Breathing deeply, he tried to calm himself as he turned back to Pete. “Remember to breathe, Pete. It's Adam, okay? You're safe here. Diana is here, too. Nobody is getting burned. It's all going to be okay,” he said soothingly, and Pete began to breathe a little easier.
They stood up, but it was clear Pete was a wreck. Even though he was able to resume marching there still was much on his mind. He still was muttering and mumbling to himself about burning them all. Adam asked him what he was referring to, but either Pete couldn't hear him in the state he was in, or he was willfully ignoring Adam. Adam could not get through to him.
They all were back on their feet and marching down the road. Diana had picked up Pete's gun and thrust it back in his hands. Pete's fingers curled around it instinctively, but there it hung again limply, and he looked as though he was not aware of his surroundings. This worried Adam as he needed to watch his own back in battle and didn't want to have to watch Pete's as well.
They continued marching, Adam with thoughts of revenge on his mind. So far, he had not told anyone else about his secret desire to kill Lee. While he didn't like keeping things hidden from the people closest to him, he didn't want them to know because it only would put them in more danger. But he hadn't realized Diana was an astute observer of body language and facial expression. She had to be as an actress, and she had seen the way Adam had looked at Lee.
“Do you want to kill Lee?” she asked softly, leaning into him so nobody else could hear.
The question caught Adam off-guard, but he found that he wasn't as ashamed as he thought he would have been when someone found out. He'd wanted to kill Lee pretty much ever since he first had seen that man, ever since he had watched his friend Clark get his skull bashed in and the life beaten out of him. There was nothing he had seen since then to make him want to change his mind. Life called for balance and for every death a price had to be paid. Lee still was clinging to his debt, but Adam would see that he made amends.
“It's the only thing that makes sense,” he said grimly. With that he set his jaw and continued marching, onto battle, into war, with an army of unwilling and unready soldiers all around him.
Chapter Two
Peter walked despondently behind Adam and Diana. His feet shambled slowly, and his shoulders were rounded. The gun weighed heavily in his hands, but it was not so much the its physical weight. Rather, it was the mental toll it took on him as he thought about his past. In his youth he had been a strong man, a broad-shouldered jock. However, over the years as his body had aged the muscle mass had withered, leaving a frail man in its place, a man who stood in the shadow of his younger self. The golden years had faded away, and now he was in the twilight of his life. The best memories were behind him. His dreams, his hopes, Evangeline. He had been through life, love and loss. Now he was going through the days until the Grim Reaper came to take his hand and guide him to the netherworld, where he would be reunited with his wife.
The end of the world was confusing for Pete. He'd had his routine. His life had been simple. Then it had been thrown into chaos and everyone had deserted him. For a while it had seemed as though he was going to have to make it through life alone. It had been a long time since he was truly alone. After Evangeline had died, God rest her soul, he had been taken care of by kind neighbors, and had been allowed to potter about his little apartment without impacting the world in any great way.
Then it had ended, and he'd come across Adam, a young man who seemed to be in a lot of anguish. Pete knew the look on his face, the look of a man who wanted to take his own life. Pete had seen it a lot over the years. However, since then Adam had seemed more comfortable with his place in the world and after their adventure out in the wilderness they had found a new home in a nice place. Pete felt safe there, even though there were a few things that gave him second thoughts about it. Now that he was going to war he was plunged back into the troubled times of his youth, the times when he thought he never would see another sunrise, when every day brought with it the fear of the Grim Reaper, a fear that anchored his soul, for he still had so many days ahead of him.
Now there were fewer days ahead of him and there were many behind. His mind was filled with thoughts and feelings from the past.
Adam was worried about him. The younger man continually glanced at him as they walked. He knew that if Pete didn't have his wits about him, he would stand no chance on the battlefield. As much as Adam wanted to look out for Pete, he couldn't afford to keep an eye on the both of them. Little did he know that Pete was aware of that truth all too well. Adam kept talking to Pete to try getting his head back in the game, and
asked him about his past. Adam knew enough that it had to be something from his past flashing back before Pete's mind's eye, and indeed it was.
Pete said he couldn't remember, but his mind was alive with traumatic memories that had been consigned to his nightmares over the years. Buried deep down, he had tried to live a good life to escape them and to not let them ruin him. For a time he even had convinced himself that they had been excised completely, but that had been a foolish thing to think. They always would be with him, and now that he was in the throes of battle again they all returned, like demons from the deep, like serpents uncoiling themselves and twisting through his body, enveloping his soul with their dark influence.
Pete's mind cracked under the weight of all his memories. Before he knew it, he was back in the deepest jungles of Vietnam, with a rifle in his hand, body covered with sticky sweat, army uniform clinging to him in the cloying heat, with fear in his heart. He'd gone over there wanting to do the right thing, to serve his country. He'd enlisted with his friends, all of them young and eager to impress. They had wanted to emulate the glorious generation that had come before them that had helped the Allies to break free of the iron fist that was the Nazi regime.
The reality was different.
War was utter chaos. From the first moment Pete had stepped onto the battlefield he realized that everything he thought about war had been wrong. He'd already seen so many good men die. He long ago had given up on making friends because every time they were blown away it just became harder and harder. By fortune he had made it through, but with every passing day his soul was becoming more and more eroded. He felt as though he was losing himself. Every time he pulled the trigger and took another life he felt as though he was losing part of his own humanity, but he couldn't turn away.