Not My Apocalypse

by Devin Harnois

  ***

  It was still light in San Francisco, so most of the dead were resting. I didn’t have the patience to wait for nightfall, so I went searching for anyone that might be active. I found a lady sitting under a tree, looking up at the leaves. She startled when I got close and started to disappear. “Wait!” I’d only been to this cemetery twice before and although the guardian was cool with me, most of the ghosts hadn’t met me. “I just want to ask you a question.”

  She hesitated, flickering in and out, her form as delicate as a breeze. “What?”

  “Um…” I felt like an idiot for saying it. “Do you know where Jesus lives? Uh, I mean Joshua.” Jesus wasn’t actually his name this time around because that would be way too fucking obvious.

  The woman became almost solid, her expression turning harder. “Are you trying to hurt him?”

  “Hurt him?” I stared at her. “Why would I try to hurt him?”

  “Because you’re the son of…” She pointed to the ground. Some of the dead are really superstitious, which seems really fucking funny. I mean they’re goddamn ghosts—they’re supposed to be the subject of superstition, not worried about it themselves.

  I got that she didn’t want to name my father and it still took me a second to make the rest of the connection. “Oh… oh, no. I’m not gonna hurt him or anything. I’m actually…” And it was really fucking embarrassing to admit. “…here to ask him for help.”

  She got even more solid, as solid as a living person. “You want to ask the Second Coming of Christ for help?”

  “Yeah.” She kept staring at me. “Look,” I said, pointing to my face, “my father did this to me, and he’s gonna do worse if he finds me, and Joshua is the only one that can protect me. So tell me where he lives.” I wondered if I’d have to wait until dark for the other ghosts to come out so I could ask them. A few of them had chatted with me on my previous visits and they’d know I was telling the truth. That would be easier, but there was a nervous itch under my skin, the fear that Satan could show up any second. What if he was looking for me cemetery by cemetery and this was one of the first places he checked? All the sore spots on my body throbbed at the memory of the beating the day before.

  She gave me an address, and after some coaxing she even gave me directions. Now I just had to get up the courage to leave the relative safety of the cemetery. Joshua didn’t live too far away, but once I stepped outside the boundary, Satan would be able to find me if he was looking at that moment. So like a coward, I ran (more like limped) all the way to his house. It was downhill, so I had that to be thankful for.

  Joshua must have known I was coming because he opened the front door just as I tripped on his front step. “Hi,” I said, after catching myself.

  “Hi, Alexander,” he said, studying me. “What happened to you?”

  “The devil,” I told him with a little laugh. “I uh… have something really weird to ask you.”

  “What is it?”

  Might as well just come out with it. “Can I stay with you for a few days?”

  “You… want to stay with me?”

  “Satan’s out there looking for me and he could find me any second.” I felt so exposed standing here on his front steps, imagining my father popping up to drag me back home. “He beat the shit out of me yesterday and he’s gonna do it again when he finds me. I can’t deal with another beating right now, it’s just too much.” Fuck. I felt the burning threat of tears at the back of my eyes. “The other gods won’t get involved and no one else can keep me safe. This is the only place I can go.”

  Would he make me beg? Would he humiliate me? Would he turn me away? Joshua looked at me for a long moment, his expression troubled. Mew-Mew went up and rubbed against his legs. Please, help him. Joshua looked down at Mew-Mew, frowning in confusion. He knelt down and gently petted my cat. Mew-Mew blinked up at him.

  Joshua looked back at me. “Come inside, Alexander.”

  Chapter 5

  Relief washed over me, so strong it made me a little dizzy. I limped the rest of the way up the stairs and he held the door open for me.

  Mew-Mew trotted in with us. I meant to ask him if it was okay for me to bring my cat, but I guess it was okay since he didn’t say anything. He led me into the living room and offered me a seat. He sat on the couch. His house was nice, but not fancy. That was fine with me; I had more than enough of the fancy shit at home, so it had bad associations for me. I sat in the offered chair and Mew-Mew hopped into my lap.

  I was about to say something, just to break the silence, when Joshua said, “You performed a miracle on your cat.”

  “Huh?” It took me a second to figure out what he was talking about. “Oh, you mean bringing him back to life?”

  Joshua nodded. “How did you do that?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. He got hit by a car, and I loved him too much to let him die. I just thought about not letting him die, and I felt where his soul was and I just… put it back. I put his body back together too. I don’t know how I did that either; I just knew where everything fit.” I scratched Mew-Mew under the chin while he purred. An ache squeezed my heart as I thought about how I’d almost lost him.

  Joshua leaned closer. “You said you loved him. Do you mean that?”

  I frowned. “Of course I do. He’s my best friend.”

  Joshua shook his head. “I didn’t think that was possible, for you to love something.”

  I sighed. “You know I’m not totally evil. We talked a few years ago, and you admitted I didn’t seem that bad.”

  “I wasn’t sure what to think about you. You seemed almost human, but I didn’t know if you were trying to trick me. Part of me wanted to believe you weren’t evil, and I worried it was only wishful thinking.” Joshua leaned back.

  “I don’t know what I can say to convince you, but everything I said to you then was the truth, and everything I’ve said today is the truth. I tell the truth most of the time, actually. When I do lie, it’s usually to my parents.” I kept petting Mew-Mew and he kept purring, settling a little more into my lap. He apparently wasn’t worried about us getting kicked out.

  “You already did something that’s as close to convincing me as you can get.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Bringing your cat back to life because you loved him. If a human had powers like yours, they would have done the same thing for their loved one. You’re capable of love. That seems like a miracle in itself.”

  I thought it was probably best if I didn’t mention all the other things I’d used my powers for. “Well, I am half human, even if my mom is a devil-worshipping bitch.”

  “Please, watch your language.”

  “Sorry,” I muttered. “Are you really gonna let me stay here?”

  “Yes. You’re a person in need and I can’t turn you away.”

  It took some effort to get it out, but I did say, “Thanks. What are you gonna tell your mom?”

  “The truth.”

  I jolted, disturbing Mew-Mew. “She’s not gonna let me stay here if you tell her the truth. You think she wants the devil’s son staying in the same house with her?”

  “I can’t lie to her, Alexander. If I explain it to her, she’ll understand.”

  He’s such a goody-good. “If you say so.”

  “Does this…” He asked tentatively, “Does the abuse happen a lot?”

  “Yeah. I told you, he does this to me all the time. Every time I run away, he drags me home and beats the shit out of me.”

  Joshua made a face. “I suppose that’s what you’d expect from the devil. I can’t imagine what your life must be like.”

  “Fucked up and shitty. Sorry.” Trying to watch my potty mouth was going to be hard. “But I have some friends now and that’s made a huge difference.” Thinking about them reminded me of what we’d done. “Oh, yeah. I should tell you about what we did yesterday.”

  “What did you do?” Curious, he leaned a little closer.

  A smile sp
read across my face and turned into a grin. “We saved the world.”

  “You—” Joshua couldn’t even finish the sentence; he just stared at me with wide eyes.

  “I know, right?” I laughed, and I told him about fighting Sköll and all that.

  Joshua leaned back, shaking his head. “I can’t believe it. You’re supposed to help your father end the world, but you saved it?”

  “Yep, and I’d do it again. I don’t want the world to end. I told you that when we first met.”

  “I know. But it’s one thing to say you don’t want to do what your father wants and another thing to take on a Norse monster wolf to stop him from eating the sun.”

  “No one else was gonna do it,” I said.

  “Alexander, you’re amazing.”

  “Call me Alex. My mom calls me Alexander when I’m in trouble, which is a lot.” I rubbed at my jaw. All that talking made my mouth hurt. “Hey, you got any painkillers? I heal fast, but it still hurts like… uh, a lot.”

  He got me some aspirin and a glass of water. Just as I was washing down the second pill, his mom came home. “Hi, Mom.” He went over to her and gave her a hug. “This is Alex.”

  I tried to remember what the polite thing to do was and finally stood up. “Um, hi… ma’am.”

  “Oh, mercy. What happened to you?” She had a Spanish accent.

  “My father beat the—” I caught myself again. “He beat me up.”

  “Oh, darling.” She went to me and lifted her hands as if to touch my face. I fought the urge to flinch away from her, but she stopped anyway, probably worried about hurting my swollen, bruised face.

  “Alex asked me if he can stay here for a few days. Can he, Mom?” Joshua said.

  “Oh, of course he can. If your father is doing this to you, you should get out of that situation. We could take you to Child Protection.”

  I imagined what would happen if CPS or the police showed up to my house. Not good. “No. I just… it’s not that I don’t appreciate… or that I don’t know he’ll keep doing it.” I’ve seen a few Lifetime specials with spouse and child abuse galore. Cultural education, baby. “I know I should get out, but…”

  “His father is the devil,” Joshua said.

  “Joshua, I know he’s a bad man, but you shouldn’t say that. You should know better than anyone not to use that word lightly.”

  “No, Mom, I mean he’s the devil. Literally.”

  She stared at me.

  “Um, yeah. That.” It was like the graveyards all over again, and all the gods and spirits I’d met, defending myself yet again, telling someone their expectations were wrong. “It’s not like I had a choice with who my parents were, and I’m not evil. Not all evil, anyway.”

  Joshua’s mom crossed herself and looked over at her son. “You know what he is and you want him to stay under our roof?”

  Joshua took her hand. “He needs help. If you turn him away his father will find him and abuse him again. He’s just a kid, like me. He has good in him, I know it.”

  She took a deep breath. “If you say so, Joshua. Your heart is big enough to even forgive the Antichrist.” She crossed herself again. Catholics, man, always with the rituals.

  “Thank you.” Joshua gave her an angelic smile.

  “And just to let you know, I don’t want to do any of those things I’m supposed to do. I don’t want the world to end.” So I told her about saving the world. She didn’t want to believe there were other gods, but Joshua set her straight. Good thing the painkillers kicked in, because I was doing an awful lot of talking.

  They gave me the small guest bedroom. I was extra polite, feeling like I had to prove myself. Joshua was taking in what was supposed to be his mortal enemy. I mean it’s right there in my title, I’m his opposite. So I was going to be on my best behavior, for once in my life. Mew-Mew curled up with me and after a while his purring lulled me to sleep.

  In the morning I took a shower and checked myself out in the mirror. I was a lot less sore. Most of the pain had settled into an ache in the places where he’d hurt me the worst, like my ribs and my face. My black eye was mostly green and yellow and my eye itself looked bloodshot. The other bruises were healing too. I’d be mostly fine by the next day.

  I went down to breakfast, Mew-Mew padding along at my heels. It was a Saturday, so Joshua’s mom didn’t have to go to work, and everyone had slept in. Breakfast was long and casual, eaten at the kitchen table. Joshua’s mom made pancakes and sausage. I sat at the table and watched them interact, feeling awkward. They laughed and talked and teased each other. They were so fucking happy it made me want to cry. For the first time I hated Joshua, just a little, because he had a mom that loved him and a life I so desperately wanted to have.

  As we were eating, Joshua asked if I wanted to come with him to a volunteer event that morning. “We’re doing some outreach work for the homeless, providing them with a meal and connecting them with programs that can help them get off the streets.”

  “No, thanks.” I gave Mew-Mew a piece of sausage and he gobbled it down. “Not that I’m like, opposed to it or anything. On principle. But I’m really not good with people.”

  “Come on, you can give it a try,” Joshua urged.

  “No, seriously. I’m bad with people. Like disastrously bad.” I hoped I didn’t have to get explicit and tell him that people got seriously hurt or dead when I tried to interact with the general public. My cultural education was enough to make me understand intellectually what it would be like to be a regular person, but emotion always got the better of me when I went out into the human world. “I lived a really isolated life until I started running away. I don’t have a lot of patience and I’m terrible at small talk. Really, it’s best if I just stay here.” I’d traded one prison for another. “Unless I’m vulnerable if I’m not near you?”

  Joshua shook his head. “My house is protected. No demonic forces can get inside, whether I’m here or not. The house would have been trashed or burned down a long time ago if it wasn’t.”

  “So I’ll stay here then.” I gave Mew-Mew another sausage. “If you want to go for a walk later, I’d like that. Or go to the store or something, I’m okay with that kind of stuff.”

  He gave me this sort of sad look, like he felt sorry for me. “Sure, we can do something when we get back from volunteering.” He finished his last bite and stood to clear his plate. “We’re volunteering again tomorrow, at the children’s hospital. Do you think you could handle that?”

  I thought about all those sad little kids, dying of cancer or some other horrible disease. “Do you heal them? Healing the sick is your thing, right?”

  “I don’t have my full powers yet, but I do what I can. Sometimes I can heal them, and sometimes I can’t.”

  He was coming into his powers just like I was, but instead of trying to teleport and making it snow in the dining room, he was trying to use his powers to heal people. I probably wasn’t meant to help people, more like kill them. But then again, I’d brought Mew-Mew back to life. “Do you think… I could heal people?”

  Joshua tilted his head a little as he considered. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

  “Don’t say that. You don’t know what kind of disasters I’ve created. But I do want to. Try.” I had an honest desire to do good, to help those poor little kids. Plus it would be a great fuck you to my father. Healing the sick instead of corrupting people? Fuck yeah.

  “Then we’ll try tomorrow.” He smiled.

  His mom patted my arm. “Joshua is right. You do have good in you. I’m sorry I judged you yesterday. It’s not for us to judge.”

  “It’s okay. Everybody judges me.”

  ***

  While they were out, I asked Mew-Mew to let my friends know I was okay and that I was hiding out in Joshua’s house. I wanted to know if any of them had gotten in trouble for us interfering with the Norse gods. With Mew-Mew gone and no one else in the house, I turned to my old friend, TV. Joshua only had basic TV and I ha
d to figure out how to adjust the reception. What did they do without TV? I flipped through their DVD collection, which wasn’t that big, and found a movie I liked. I sat back and waited for them to come back.

  For lunch I had to fend for myself since they were still out at the volunteer event. Mew-Mew wasn’t back yet, either, but I took a look through his eyes and he was traveling through the grass in someone’s yard. Still looking in on my friends and not in trouble. He’d get back to me once he found all of them. I wanted to hang out with my friends instead of being stuck here. I made a sandwich and settled down for another movie from their small collection.

  I felt a little lonely, but it was also incredibly peaceful here. I didn’t have to worry that Satan would show up any minute and I didn’t have to worry about my mom or Ken demanding this or that from me. I didn’t have to worry about my lessons. The paranoid fear that I was wrong about being safe here got quieter and quieter. If Satan hadn’t found me by now, he wasn’t going to.

  Around two o’clock they came home, chatting about their day. Joshua asked if I wanted to go for a walk up to the store with him. I was more than happy for a chance to get out of the house. Just before I stepped outside, I asked him again if he was sure Satan wouldn’t be able to find me if I was with him.

  “He might be able to find you, but he won’t be able to hurt you or take you away. You’re under my protection,” he said.

  I hated that. I wanted to be able to protect myself.

  We were about a block away when he turned to me and said, “I talked to my dad last night.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah. I talk to him all the time, especially just before bed.” His expression turned wary. “He’s not happy about me letting you stay at my house.”

  Fear squeezed at me. “Is he going to make you kick me out? Can he do that?”

  Joshua put a hand on my arm. “No, he can’t. I have free will. I explained to him why I’m letting you stay. He still wasn’t happy, but he told me it’s my decision. I’m sure he thinks this will end in disaster. He’s absolutely sure you’re evil and you’ll oppose me, if not now, then in the future.”