Not My Apocalypse

by Devin Harnois

  I opened the box again. Nothing remarkable inside, just an empty box. I remembered the rush of light inside and I tried to sort through all the images and sensations to distract me from the pain. I saw myself strong and fierce and super hard to hurt, with both fire and ice obeying my command. I saw myself as the demigod I would become, maybe even a full god. That’s the way it felt during that brilliant flash, like almost anything was possible. What else had there been? My mind slipped, started to drift, and I fell asleep. When I woke up again it was even later at night, the moon no longer showing through my window. Mew-Mew was calling me gently.

  I got up to let him in, moving slow to test out how much I hurt. The pain pills must’ve still been working ‘cause I was able to hobble over to the window and let him in. Oh, Alex. He said and rubbed at my hand. Seeing me after every beating was hard on him because he knew he couldn’t do anything about it. The first time he tried to protect me would be the last and I’d made it very clear that him dying would hurt me more than anything. I couldn’t lose Mew-Mew.

  I hobbled back to the bed and he curled up beside me, purring. It was an old routine. I told him what happened this time and had to backtrack to tell him about Baldur’s gift and had to backtrack even more to tell him how I’d ended up in Hel in the first place. It was a good thing we could talk mind to mind, because my jaw would’ve hurt and my mouth would have been dry after talking so much.

  I’m almost done with your sword, Mew-Mew said.

  How the fuck are you making me a sword? I mean, I know you’re awesome, but you’re still just a cat. Other cats would have taken offense that anyone could be “just” a cat, but Mew-Mew knew what I meant. It wasn’t like he had hands to work in a forge or some shit.

  Well, I don’t mean I’m doing it on my own. I was hoping it would be ready before you came back, but I had no idea how long it would take. The men making the sword are using magic to speed things up, but it’s still going to be another two days before it’s ready.

  So what is this sword? And where did you come up with the idea to make one for me? And more importantly, would it be strong enough for me to use against my father? But I kept that thought to myself.

  It’s unlike anything else in the world. It’s infused with bits of magic from animals and ghosts. I went to as many cemeteries as I could and asked the ghosts to give me a tiny bit of power, and I went all over Earth and found animals willing to give a little bit too.

  I was too surprised to ask any questions, but Mew-Mew went on. There are many animals and ghosts that wanted to help you, Alex. You’ve been a good friend to them and you’ve saved the world twice. The sword the sword makers are working on now will be a match for Excalibur, maybe even stronger. And it’ll be yours, infused with the power of your allies. Even the Queen of Cats added a whisker. You’re their champion. The world’s champion.

  It made me feel sick. It was too much trust, it made me sound good. Yes, I wanted to save the world and that was a good thing, but I sure the fuck wasn’t a good guy. Joshua was the good guy, blameless and perfect and generous. I was angry and a fighter and a killer. Although, come to think of it, there were plenty of gods that were far from perfect. It was just Jehovah’s brood that was so obsessed with good and evil. Even the Egyptians embraced Set, god of storms, who kept the chaos serpent from destroying the universe. They knew how to put anger and strength to good use. Maybe I’d have a chat with Set soon and see how he dealt with all this shit that most considered “dark.”

  I’m not a champion, I told him.

  He pawed gently at my nose. You saved the world twice. You brought me back to life after that car ran me over. You are a champion. Soon you’ll have a sword worthy of you.

  How are you making this sword? You mentioned sword makers.

  Yes, I found some kami in Japan willing to make it. They aren’t worried about helping you.

  I didn’t know much about kami, but from what I understood, the term applied to a variety of spirits and gods, including human spirits, so the kami making my sword probably didn’t fall under the pantheons-don’t-fuck-with-each-other rules. You went all the way to Japan to find someone to make a sword for me?

  Mew-Mew looked up at me and flicked his tail, the feline equivalent of a shrug. Too many movies with ninjas and samurai? he said.

  I laughed and it hurt, but it was worth it.

  I fell asleep with Mew-Mew purring beside me and had dreams about swords and fire.

  ***

  In the morning Mom came to wake me up like nothing was wrong, but I could see the fear in her eyes. I could smell it on her. I played my typical too-sore-to-do-much-arguing self the day after a beating, but I’d already decided there was no fucking way I was going to my lessons today. I wasn’t going to stay here one more day. I was fucking done. This wasn’t another attempt to run away—I was leaving, just straight up leaving.

  I wasn’t going to play the game anymore: run away, stay away for as long as I could, get dragged back home by Satan and beaten until all the fight was out of me, then spend the next several days doing what my parents wanted while they pretended we were some kind of normal family. No. Satan could drag me back, but as soon as I could walk I would just turn around and leave again. Maybe they’d get tired of it eventually. Maybe Satan would figure out I was serious when I said I wasn’t going to do a motherfucking thing he wanted me to do. I wasn’t going to hide in Joshua’s house, either. For one thing, it hurt to see how much he and his mom loved each other, and for another, I hated hiding.

  I was going to leave my house and I was going to go to places where I’d be hard to find, but I wasn’t running or hiding. I was just stalling, stalling for time until I could check out this sword Mew-Mew was having made, stalling while my powers got stronger. When I’d gotten stronger, strong enough that I thought I could take on the devil, then I’d come back again and see if I was right. I hadn’t been ready yesterday, but someday I would be.

  I went to the bathroom down the hall, washed up, got dressed, then went back to my room. I knew I’d taken what had to be the worst beating of my life yesterday, but I didn’t feel like it. Sure it hurt, my whole fucking body was sore, but even as fast as I healed I should be having a hard time moving at all. I was moving slow and had a limp, but it still wasn’t as bad as the morning after my last beating. My powers weren’t just coming in spurts; the base level, or whatever, of them was getting stronger. I popped some more pills and tried to work some of the stiffness out of my body.

  Are you sure you don’t want to wait another day? Mew-Mew asked.

  “No, I need to get out of here, the sooner the better. I’m not waiting around.” I dug the backpack out of my closet that I’d smuggled in. My parents didn’t let me have bags because it might encourage me to leave. What a fucking joke, like my entire motherfucking life didn’t encourage me to leave. Please. I threw in a pair of jeans, socks, underwear, a few shirts, a couple of my favorite battered paperbacks and, after a moment of debate, my iPod. I didn’t know how the fuck I was going to charge it, but whatever. I checked to make sure the Morrigan’s favor was still in my pocket and took the small box Baldur’s gift had been in from where it had fallen on the floor. I’d fallen asleep holding it last night. I tucked it into my pocket next to the feather.

  “Alex!” Mom called. “Time for breakfast.”

  I opened the door enough to yell down, “I can’t go very fast since I almost got fucking beat to death yesterday, so it’s gonna take a few minutes!” Yes, I was mouthing off, but they knew to expect some mouthing off even after I’d been beaten into submission. I closed the door again. I slipped the backpack on, wincing. My shoulders, my arms, my back—everything hurt. Going out the window was going to be loads of fun. Thankfully, my powers were working, so I had nice big demon claws to help me climb down. I had a flash of déjà vu from the last time I’d done this, only a few days before.

  With my body aching even more I made it down to the grass in my backyard and hobbled off toward the t
rees as fast as I could. As I went I focused on teleporting, not to the cemetery nearby but to Gettysburg, a place with enough trees so I could be hidden from people and enough power to hide me from Satan.

  My powers answered. Mew-Mew! My cat jumped, all four paws latching onto my leg a second before the world rushed away and I was suddenly somewhere else.

  “Ow!” His needle-sharp claws dug into my skin.

  Sorry. He let go, dropping neatly to the ground.

  The little stings faded to blend in with the rest of my pain. “It’s okay. Quick thinking.” He could’ve taken the Paths if he’d been left behind, but that would’ve taken longer. I looked around at the trees and took in the different smell of the air—woods and wildflowers. The area tingled with the presence of ghosts. By the smell and by the feel of the place, I knew I’d made it to Gettysburg. Now I could relax for a little while and figure out what my next move was.

  ***

  I spent two days resting and traveling to different cemeteries. Mew-Mew and other animals brought me food and stuff to drink. By the third day I was totally fine and we went to Japan to check on the progress of my sword. Mew-Mew went ahead to see if it was done yet since I would have to leave the cemetery to get there and would therefore be exposed until I stepped into the kami’s shrine area. If the sword wasn’t done, we’d wait until it was before I took the risk. Not hiding, I told myself. Stalling until I get stronger.

  It was late afternoon, but there were some ghosts up and about in the old cemetery, so I chatted with them while I waited for Mew-Mew. The sword is ready! he announced and hurried back along his special cat shortcut to show me the long way there. I didn’t want to teleport since I hadn’t tried it to places I wasn’t familiar with (although I suppose I could have done it Stefan’s way, using Mew-Mew as an anchor the way he used his raven), and I also thought it might be rude to teleport into the kami’s territory. I sure the fuck didn’t want to offend the kami sword makers. Mew-Mew appeared, the tip of his tail flicking back and forth in excitement. I hesitated for just a second before stepping outside the cemetery to follow him.

  It wasn’t all that far to the kami’s territory, but fear of being out in the open combined with the excitement of finally being able to see the sword made it feel a hell of a lot longer than it was. We got there and Mew-Mew darted into the mouth of a cave. I ducked a little to follow him. For the first few steps the cave looked like a cave, dark except for the light filtering in from outside. Then it became a well-lit house with polished wooden floors. My shoes made soft noises on the floor and I skidded to a stop, remembering to take them off. I didn’t know where to put them, so I just set them against the wall.

  We passed through the front room and through a sliding section of wall into a room lined with swords. Several hung on the walls and several more were on three-foot-tall racks. Their sheaths were all different colors and some had designs on them. A man stood in the middle of the room, holding a sword in his hands. My heart jumped. Mine? It had to be. Even from several feet away and with most of the other swords giving off a sense of power, I could still feel the power coming off the sword he held. I stepped close and gave him a deep bow. I hoped I was doing it right. I was just mimicking all those ninja and samurai movies.

  The kami returned the bow. “Alex, defender of the world, welcome to my home.”

  “Uhh… thanks.” I decided not to argue the defender-of-the-world part. “I am honored to be here.”

  “My partners and I worked the gifts of many animals and spirits into a great sword, as great as Kusanagi.” He lifted the sword, offering it to me.

  With another smaller bow, I gently took it from him. The power of the sword hummed like Excalibur, but this was much stronger. Either this sword was far stronger, or it was in tune with my power. Maybe both. “Thank you,” I said. The magic coming off the sword was so strong it almost felt like it was speaking to me. The sheath was a deep, glossy black inlaid with stylized red flames. I gripped the handle and it fit me perfectly. I pulled out the sword and I could feel my power interacting with it. This sword was made for me, and it knew it.

  “There is one thing left, you must name her,” the kami said, his eyes fixed on the sword as I held it up.

  “A name,” I murmured. I looked at it for a moment and it came to me. “Animus.” The sword hummed its approval.

  “A good name, a strong name,” the kami said. “She will serve you well in the coming battle.”

  That burst my little happy bubble. “What battle?”

  “Your father is moving to take the world.”

  “What? Now?” I hoped he meant like, years from now.

  “The wind speaks of it. We finished your sword just in time. She will serve you well.”

  Oh fuck, he really did mean now. “He’s trying to take over the world now? How?”

  The kami spread his hands. “I have no details; I only know what is carried on the wind. But you should hurry now.”

  Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. I put Animus back in her sheath and tied the attached cord to my belt. Mew-Mew and I exchanged a look. I gave the kami another short bow. “Thanks.” I ran out of the room, stopped long enough to put my shoes back on, and left the cave.

  “What are we supposed to do?” I asked Mew-Mew. Not that I expected him to know, but I had to ask somebody.

  I don’t know. I can go ask some of the animals to see if they know something. Sometimes they—he broke off. Alex, the moon!

  I looked up. The full moon hung on the horizon, huge and round… and blood red. My stomach clenched. “Fuck. Oh, fuck.” And the sun will grow dark, and the moon will glow red as blood… It was in the Satanist prophecy and the acid trip of John known as Revelation. It wasn’t supposed to happen until I ruled over the whole world. Had my father gotten impatient? Had he finally given up on me?

  My hand went to the handle of my new sword and I gripped it tight as I stared at the moon. “What do we do?” But I knew, with sick dread, where this was going to lead. If I wanted to save the world this time, I’d have to fight my father.

  Chapter 14

  Just on the off chance I was wrong, and I really fucking hoped I was, I went to find Stefan to see if we were dealing with Ragnarok again. I teleported straight from outside the cave to Stefan’s house, and it actually worked. The happiness of having my teleportation work was immediately killed by the weird darkness that greeted me. I looked up, straight into an eclipse. A dark sun and a blood-red moon. Either it was the Satanist prophecy or Sköll and Hati had eaten them. The coward in me hoped for Ragnarok because that meant I didn’t have to face Satan.

  I rushed up to the front door and knocked. No answer. I knocked a few more times, then went around the house looking in windows to see if he was inside. Nothing. Where the hell was he? Then I realized with the shit going down, he might be looking for me. He knew I wouldn’t be at home, so at least I didn’t have to check there, but he could be looking for me anywhere. I could get a message to him through the crows, but that could take hours.

  Wait. New Orleans. We’d met there before and after the last battle, so maybe he figured we’d meet up there again. It’s not like he had to come find me to tell me something bad was going on. The sun and moon were fucked up, it’s not like anyone could miss it. I scooped up Mew-Mew and teleported to New Orleans. It worked again. If the world didn’t end and/or my father didn’t kill me, this teleporting thing was going to come in really fucking handy.

  Stefan wasn’t there but I found Elliot, who said Stefan was going around gathering up the rest of us. I asked Elliot if Stefan said it was Sköll and Hati eating the sun and moon, but he said this didn’t have anything to do with the Norse pantheon. I sat down, feeling sick. Yep, it had to be my father. The others arrived and Stefan looked relieved to see me. “Alex, I checked with my dad and this doesn’t have anything to do with Ragnarok.”

  “I know. Elliot told me.” I rubbed some sweat from my forehead and my hand was shaking. “It’s Satan. I guess he decided he
wasn’t going to wait for me to take over the world. He’s trying to destroy the world right now.”

  “What?” they all said.

  “He’s going to destroy the world, and I don’t know what to do.” That wasn’t totally true. I had to fight my father, that’s what I had to do. Only I didn’t know how I was going to do it without getting killed. I didn’t even know how to get to him to fight him.

  Mew-Mew said, Do you think Joshua can help? I know he didn’t want to help us fight before, but this is supposed to be his fight.

  The coward in me totally loved the idea of Joshua fighting this battle for me, but the fighter in me hated the idea. “It’s worth a try.”

  “What?” Emily asked.

  “Mew-Mew suggested we go see if Joshua will help us.”

  “That makes sense. Isn’t that how Armageddon is supposed to go down? Jesus against… well, you, but since you’re with the good guys, Satan will have to lead the troops himself,” Stefan said.

  “Yeah, let’s go give it a try,” I said. Stefan took us all there. I still trusted his teleporting ability better than mine.

  Joshua was standing on his front porch and didn’t look at all surprised to see us. “Hi, Alex. I knew you’d come.”

  “So you know what’s going on, right?” The ground shook for a few seconds, all ominous and shit, making us all stumble.

  “I know Satan is trying to take the world now, without waiting for the prophesied time. It’s supposed to happen years from now.”

  “Do you think that means he’ll fail?” Maybe we wouldn’t have to do anything at all.

  Joshua shook his head, and now I could see the fear in his eyes. “I don’t know. It’s not supposed to happen this way, and I can’t see how it’s going to end.”

  “Then we make something happen, and we make sure the good guys win,” I told him.