After a moment he let her go and stepped back. “You did good, Alex. I’m very pleased with you. Let’s go make some lunch. Daniel left us some chicken salad. You can wear clothing. Whatever you want to put on.”
“Oh. We’re…we’re done then?” The disappointment was evident in her voice. She’d obviously been expecting more training or perhaps out-and-out sex. Daniel probably spent hours with her. Liam’s cock stirred at the thought of Daniel disciplining Alex but he wasn’t in the mood to pay attention.
“Yes,” he snapped. “We’re done. Didn’t I just say so?” Her wounded look just added to the eggshells of guilt he was already treading on. Sometimes being a Dom was just too much damn work.
Chapter 12
Daniel turned off the engine and coasted down the last bit of driveway. Parking his truck off to the side, he climbed out and walked to the front door. The meeting for the landscaping project had gone well and he’d been done earlier than he expected.
Probably earlier than Liam expected too.
They left the front door unlocked during the day. He turned the handle and opened it. The well-oiled hinges didn’t make a sound. Without calling out a greeting, he moved on silent feet up the stairs and walked to the playroom, almost sick from nervous anticipation over what he would find.
He couldn’t stop the tumble of images—Alex, naked and tethered on the cross, her body drenched in sweat or bound spread-eagle to the exam table, Liam’s body draped over hers, his hips rising and falling as he thrust deep into her, calling her name…
The door was ajar and he pushed it open, filled with both excitement and dread.
The room was empty.
He stood staring for a confused moment. Turning, he looked into the master bedroom but this was also empty. He ran down the stairs, calling, “Hey, I’m home.”
“We’re in the kitchen,” Liam called. When Daniel entered, he saw the two of them at the table eating sandwiches. Shame washed over him. He’d been ready to catch them making love behind his back and here they were just having lunch.
He sank into a chair and ran his hand over his face. What was happening to him? Liam was his world, his Master, his life. It had been Daniel’s idea to bring someone into their lives. If Liam wanted to enjoy her on his own from time to time, who was Daniel to stand in his way? Why was he attempting to withhold something from the man he’d sworn to honor and obey?
“Hey, Daniel.” Liam put his hand on Daniel’s arm. He was looking at him with concern. “You okay? Too much sun?”
“What? Oh yeah. I mean no. I don’t know. I’m fine.”
Liam eyed him though he said nothing for a few beats. Then he offered, “How about some lemonade and a sandwich? You haven’t had lunch yet, have you?”
“No. I mean, I haven’t but no thanks. I’m not hungry.” He glanced at Alex. She was watching them, a small frown on her face. He turned back to Liam. “Listen. We need to talk. I need to talk.”
“Me too.”
It felt like someone had reached in and twisted his heart. It actually hurt and he put his hand to his chest. Was this it? Was Liam going to tell him Alex had replaced him in his affections?
Even while this ridiculous thought hurtled through his brain, he knew it was nuts. Maybe something was going on but not that. She was a distraction, yeah, but no way could she waltz into their lives and in two weeks destroy what they’d spent over a year building together.
Liam stood. “I’m pretty much done anyway. Alex,” he turned to the girl, “you can clean up in here and then take free time.”
“Yes, Sir.” She spoke softly and Daniel knew her well enough to hear the confusion and hurt behind her words. He would deal with that later. Right now Liam and he needed to reconnect, not only as Dom and sub but as partners.
He followed Liam up the stairs and into their bedroom. Daniel sat on the bed. Liam sat in a chair nearby. It was as if there were already a wall between them. Daniel realized he’d better tear it down before it got too high.
“Liam,” he began. “Something doesn’t feel right between us.” He half hoped Liam would deny it. He would tell Daniel it was all in his head and everything was right as rain. He would explain how they could make it all work. How they could keep Alex around and still maintain their open and loving relationship. How jealousy had no place in a relationship such as theirs.
“Yes. I know.”
The words were like a blow to his solar plexus. He drew in a ragged breath and waited. Liam was watching him in that way he had, as if he could read every thought in Daniel’s head and every secret in his heart.
“Talk to me,” Liam said gently. “Tell me what’s going on for you.”
“It’s Alex.”
Liam nodded. When Daniel didn’t continue, Liam repeated, “Alex?”
Okay, he was just going to plunge in and say it. “Yeah. Alex. She’s coming between us. It’s not her fault, but I find myself having feelings and doubts I never had before we brought in a third person. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved training her. I’ve really enjoyed exploring my dominant side and even my het side. I didn’t realize I could respond so sexually toward a woman but something about her…”
“Yes,” Liam said softly, and again Daniel’s heart contracted. Was Liam falling in love with her? Was he already there?
Daniel’s reason was suddenly overcome by fear. He forgot his place, jealousy making him reckless. “Why do you say it like that? What the fuck’s going on? You arranged today to get her alone. Admit it. Go on. You can tell me. I’m just your sub, after all. You can do what you like. It’s not up to me. Go on. Tell me.”
Liam stood and moved quickly toward the bed. He put his arm around Daniel’s shoulder and pulled him toward him. “Stop it. Daniel. Stop and think about what you’re saying. Do you really think I set this up, waiting until you were out of the house so I could fuck her or whatever it is you think we were up to? You’re right. You belong to me. Not the other way around. If I want to fuck Alex, with or without your permission, then I’ll do it.”
Liam pulled away and looked down. When he looked up again his eyes were sad. “What happened to the trust all of a sudden? Haven’t I left you every day alone with her? When I found you that time, didn’t you deny anything was going on and didn’t I believe you?”
Daniel felt his face heat and he turned away. Liam was right. It wasn’t just his fear of Liam coveting Alex. It was his own strong feelings as well. He was becoming possessive. He was forgetting his place and his duty to Liam. He was losing his submissive direction and instead of feeling empowered by this, he felt bereft and cast adrift.
“I’m sorry, Liam. I don’t know what’s going on exactly. Maybe this whole thing is a big mistake.”
“No. No, listen. I need to be honest too. Today, while you were gone. I—I had Alex in the playroom. I was teaching her about orgasm through pain, about incorporating the pain as part of the pleasure. When she—when she came and I saw her lying there, so vulnerable and open, I wanted to…”
He trailed away and Daniel bit his lip to keep from howling aloud with pain. Liam continued. “I wanted to fuck her. And listen to me, Daniel. Listen well. That is my right as her Dom and Master and as yours. She gave us that right, both of us. She is submissive to you and to me. And you are submissive to me. That means I don’t need your permission to fuck Alex. I want that understood. Do you understand it, slave boy?”
Daniel looked into Liam’s handsome face. Though his tone was firm, his eyes were kind, even pleading. Daniel nodded. “Yes, I understand, Sir.”
“Good. But that’s not what troubled me. I didn’t fuck her. You know why?”
“No, Sir.”
“Because I realized I wanted to keep it a secret from you. Because I didn’t want to hurt you or make you think I desired her more than I desire you. I wanted to keep a secret. Do you see? A lie by omission. I’ve never done that, Daniel. Not with you. I realized right then if I did fuck her, I would be betraying you. Not becau
se I don’t have the right to use her as I wish but because I wasn’t including you.
“When we decided to bring Alex into our lives, we talked about it as an extension of our lovemaking. If it’s becoming something outside of that, something that breaks us apart instead of bringing us closer together, then I say we need to seriously consider what the hell it is we’re doing. After all she isn’t a toy. She’s a real person. A strong, sexy, smart woman who deserves better than to be cast as the element that comes between us. We owe her and ourselves more than that.”
“Are you saying you want Alex to leave?” Having Liam lay things out so starkly forced Daniel to really take stock of what he wanted. Having Alex leave, he knew with sudden fierce certainty was not the answer.
“I’m not saying that,” Liam replied. “I’m saying we need to step back and assess what’s really going on. We need to figure out if we can make Alex a meaningful part of our lives without sacrificing what’s so special between us. I love you, Daniel. That’s first and foremost. It’s more important than your submission or your dominance with her or anything else in my world. I want that love to stay pure. I want the trust between us to remain unsullied. If Alex’s presence compromises that, then, I don’t know, maybe she should leave.”
A small gasping cry startled them both. Daniel looked toward the open door but saw nothing. He jumped from the bed and strode to the door. He saw Alex, blond hair flying, disappearing into her bedroom.
~*~
Alex fell onto the bed in a daze. She was trying to think, to figure things out, to process what she’d heard, but her brain seemed to have short-circuited. She couldn’t manage to form a single coherent thought.
She lay still for some minutes until her mind began to function again, but the pain that accompanied it made her wish for the dazed confusion to return.
She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. She’d quickly tidied the kitchen, wondering what was going on between the two men, pretty certain she had something to do with it.
It had been strange but exciting to spend the day with Liam without Daniel’s presence. She thought of herself as belonging primarily to Daniel. Liam was a third party, someone higher up who would swoop down at night and use the two of them for his pleasure. She had created a fiction, she realized, in which she and Daniel had some kind of special relationship Liam couldn’t interfere with or control.
It had been disconcerting to watch the two of them at the table, both clearly upset and needing to talk. But not with her. She was excluded because she wasn’t a part of their relationship. If it hadn’t been clear to her before, it was brought into sharp relief at that moment.
She had come upstairs to fetch her laptop. To try to work on her novel and put whatever the hell was going on between the guys from her head, at least for a while.
When she’d passed their room the sound of her name stopped her. Are you saying you want Alex to leave? Liam had rambled on about love and trust, all very well, but what she’d homed in on was his last remark—Alex should leave.
That was it then. Two weeks of heaven and it was over. What the fuck did she expect? She had hooked up with two gay guys, for crying out loud. Yeah, yeah, they could mouth all the crap they wanted about being bisexual, but bottom line their emotional connection was to each other, not to her. Not to a woman.
Alex sighed and let the tears that had been waiting begin to flow. If only life were like a romance novel. In her novels the woman always got her man, though admittedly the path toward the happily ever after ending was never a smooth one. That’s what her readers wanted—to see the struggle and growth in a relationship, to feel the pain and the triumph along with the heroine.
But in those novels, Alex could control the scene. She could drop the scales from the hero’s eyes at last, allowing him to realize how much he loved and needed the heroine. Too bad she couldn’t write the script for Daniel and Liam.
Too bad she couldn’t make them suddenly realize that, while they still loved each other, there had been a huge hole in their hearts, one only she could fill. They would beg her to take her rightful place as not only their slave girl but their lover and partner.
Instead, they were sending her away. She was no longer an extension of their lovemaking but a hindrance. A source of friction. She punched the pillow as hard as she could. God damn it, it wasn’t fair. She’d accepted everything—all the limits. She’d slept alone each night in her bed instead of in their arms. She’d tried as hard as she could to be a true submissive.
But it hadn’t been enough. She guessed it would never be enough. Because this wasn’t about her. It was about them. About their relationship and stuff they had to work through. She couldn’t influence it. Shit, she wasn’t even privy to it. Their important talks didn’t include her. She was just some girl. Some sex toy they’d brought in for their amusement. And now that the amusement had become complicated by real feelings, they were just going to toss her away liked a used tissue they’d jerked off into.
Well, fuck them. She smacked the pillow again so hard a seam opened and several feathers floated out. She dropped her head against the pillow and gripped it hard.
What the hell was wrong with her anyway? She’d known going into this that love wasn’t on the menu. In fact, she’d told herself that was a plus. Love was messy. Love fucked everything up. Better, far better, to be a sex slave and nothing more. And she’d almost convinced herself of it. But now they were pulling the rug out from under her. They wanted her to leave.
She sat up and pushed her hair resolutely from her face. Fine. If they wanted her to leave, she was so out of there it wasn’t even funny.
Alexandra Helena Stewart did not stay where she was not wanted.
Alexandra… The image of the dark, handsome Anthony floated into her mind. He had called her that, giving the “r” a slight roll of his tongue, making it sound exotic and special. Alexahndrrra…
She’d been Alex since she was a little girl—a tomboy running wild with the boys, never interested in makeup or dolls. Her father had wanted a boy—maybe that’s why she acted so tough as a kid. She didn’t feel tough now. She felt vulnerable and miserable. She felt rejected. Shit, she was rejected.
She stood and moved toward the armoire, jerking open the doors. Grabbing her clothing, she threw it onto the bed. She opened the bureau and pulled out the rest, stuffing it all willy-nilly into the suitcase she’d stored beneath the bed.
She went into the bathroom, grabbed her toiletries and dumped them into the cosmetic case she’d brought them in. She returned to the bedroom and crammed the cosmetic case in with her clothes.
What had he said? If you were mine… You would be mine alone. You would know your worth because I would shower you with love and attention. What would it be like to belong to a man like Anthony?
She sensed he would be a harsher taskmaster than Daniel and Liam. More of a Master, less of a lover. Her loins tingled at the thought. Was that what she wanted? Someone who would really take her in hand? Who would completely dominate her world?
At least with Anthony she wouldn’t be relegated to the background, sent away when he was done with her. He had even said it—you will never sleep alone. Somehow, he’d seemed to understand and pinpoint her loneliness.
He was very handsome, no question of that. Sexy as hell. But was he too Dom? Something in his bearing, in the way he looked at her, like a wolf eyeing a lamb—it had been disconcerting. But also…sexy.
Alex shook her head. What was she thinking? Was she planning to leap from the frying pan right into the fire? She didn’t need another Dom. No. She needed time to think. To regroup. To be more honest this time about what she really wanted.
Love.
Yes. She wanted a submissive relationship but she also wanted love. She wanted the kind of love she’d witnessed between Daniel and Liam. That kind of shining, all-encompassing adoration that lit them both from within with a secret special fire.
Would she ever find that kind of love? Could Antho
ny offer her that kind of love?
She sank to the floor and dropped her head into her hands, the weight of her misery bowing her low. “I don’t want his love. I want Daniel and Liam. I want them both. I want them to want me. To love me. Damn it. Love me. Love me.”
She snapped her mouth shut, embarrassed to realize she’d been talking out loud. She rose, remaining motionless for several seconds. All was quiet. She grabbed her suitcase and her laptop and left the room that had been hers for only two weeks.
Two weeks that meant more to her than a lifetime. Two weeks she would never forget.
Chapter 13
Daniel returned to the bedroom a moment later. “I think she must have overheard at least part of our conversation. I should go talk to her.”
Liam frowned. Things were getting increasingly complicated. “Let’s figure out what we’re going to do before we go get her. I agree she needs to be involved too but only after we’re clear in our own minds what we want.”
Daniel paced the room. Liam resisted his urge to direct Daniel on this. He wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted Alex to stay or go. On the one hand he loved having her around. She was sexy and fun and Daniel had blossomed as her Dom. On the other hand they kept butting their heads against the ugly green wall of jealousy. It really was hard to insert a third person into a committed relationship, even a D/s relationship. If she was to stay, they needed to be on the same page or it would never work.
Gently he said, “So we don’t have to decide for sure now. I’m totally with you on this, Daniel. My main concern is us—you and me. Do you want her to stay? Do you think we can work through this and keep our lines of communication more open?”
“Yeah. I want her to stay. At least I think I do. Let’s give it more time before we make any final decisions. Let me talk to her. Would that be okay? I think she’d feel more at ease if I was the one to explain we’re just working through some stuff as a couple but didn’t want to leave her out of the loop.”
Two for Alex: M/m/f BDSM Ménage - 2 Volume Set Page 29