“Okay. Sounds good. I’m here if you need me.” Liam wanted to go to Alex himself or at least accompany Daniel. But he respected Daniel’s desire to go alone. He needed to step back a little, he realized. After all he’d claimed from the beginning Alex was to be Daniel’s sub, yet he’d begun to be involved more and more directly with Alex. It was time to step back a while and let things sort themselves out.
Daniel stumbled into the room, breathless, his face a mask of shock. “She’s gone. I can’t find her. Her stuff is gone. I checked and her car is gone. She just…left us.” He shook his head in disbelief.
“Are you sure?” Liam jumped up and followed Daniel down the hall to Alex’s room. The bed was rumpled, the drawers of the bureau pulled open and empty. “Text her.”
Daniel reached into his pocket and withdrew his phone. He sent a quick text. “Where are you? We’re worried about you.”
He stared at the screen, willing her to reply, but it remained blank.
“Call her,” Liam directed. “Maybe she’ll pick up.”
Daniel hit the call button. After five rings, he got her voicemail.
“Alex,” he said into the phone. “It’s Daniel. Where did you go? You have us worried to death. Please call back right away.” He turned to Liam with a defeated look. “Voicemail.”
“Yeah.” Liam held out his arms and Daniel moved into them. “Don’t worry. If she did overhear the conversation, she’s bound to be hurt and confused. She probably heard us questioning if she should go or stay. You know, she’s so young. Maybe it was just a matter of time…”
“No. Don’t say that. Don’t blame her,” Daniel snapped. He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I just feel awful. Poor Alex.”
~*~
Alex lay on the bed in her garage apartment. Good thing she’d kept the place through the end of the month, she thought bitterly. Jesus, she’d lasted a whole fucking week as permanent slave girl in residence.
She heard a buzzing sound and realized it must be her cell phone, which was in her purse and set on vibrate. She’d barely used the phone in the week she’d been back with Daniel and Liam, calling her mother once to say hello and Cheryl once to assure her she was still alive and not being held against her will by crazed homosexual sadists.
She retrieved the phone and saw the missed text message and the voicemail. As she listened to his voice, tears welled in her eyes. Sweet Daniel. But Liam wanted her gone. He was threatened by her relationship with Daniel. Even as she thought this, she knew it wasn’t fair. She couldn’t only blame Liam. Both of them were conflicted about her and her role in their lives. Hell, she was conflicted.
She’d done the right thing to leave. This was better. A time out. A chance to think things through. But it wasn’t right to run out on them like she did. It was immature. She pushed the call back button and waited.
“Hello? Alex?” Daniel said eagerly.
“Hi, Daniel.”
“Where are you?”
“Back in Danbury. At my place.”
“Why? Why did you go? You just ran out. Took all your stuff.” There was reproach and pain in his voice.
Alex steeled herself against it. She would just lay it all out there. “Yeah. Look. I heard what you guys were saying. I was coming between you. Liam wants me gone. I heard him say it, so please don’t deny it. I’m putting a wedge in your relationship. It’s the last thing I wanted to do.”
“No. No, that’s not true, Alex. Yes, we’re working some stuff out but we were talking it through. We were asking each other how we should handle things. Listen, it’s because you matter to us, don’t you see? If we didn’t care, we’d just let you go. Chalk it up to experience and move on.”
Hope rose with batting wings against the walls of her heart, though she tried desperately to quash it. Was he saying they wanted her back? She couldn’t resist forcing the issue. “So, you know definitively that you want me in your life? You and Liam want me to live there and belong to you 24/7? You can say this with certainty?”
There was a pause, during which Alex nearly hung up. She was gripping the phone so tight her hand started to shake.
“I guess we can’t say anything with certainty,” he finally said. “Yet,” he added staunchly. “Listen, we just need a little time. The two of us. To work things through.”
The hope that had risen a moment before fluttered to its death.
Alex took a deep breath, refusing to let him hear the pain. “Yeah. I need some time too. And some space. I’m not sure it’s working for me either. I thought I could handle just being your submissive without anything more, but I’m not sure anymore. I…I need to get my own priorities straight.”
Another long silence, during which Alex began to cry. She held the phone away, determined not to let him hear her. Damn it, what was she doing? Throwing away the best thing to ever happen to her? But her pride had backed her into a corner. She didn’t want to be with them on sufferance while they figured out if they wanted her or not.
“I understand,” Daniel finally said. “Please, please call us when you’re ready. Give us another chance. Please.”
“Bye, Daniel.”
Alex ended the call, dropped her head into her arms and cried until there were no tears left.
~*~
Alex worked furiously on her novel. She woke up at dawn and typed until her fingers cramped. She stopped only to use the bathroom and get a new cup of coffee, which was often cold by the time she remembered to sip it.
The book had started out chronicling the sexual adventures of Amy and her two Masters—art imitating life. But where her real life had derailed, Amy went on to find true love and happiness in the arms and hearts of her Doms.
Hurrah for fiction.
She finished the rough draft at the end of her third day back in Danbury. Exhausted but triumphant, she sent it off to her editor a full two weeks ahead of schedule.
Daniel had called again on her second day home to ask how she was. “We miss you,” he said. She missed them too, both of them. She missed being the object of their sexy, sensual D/s training. She missed the intensity of experience and the serenity of submission. She missed the rare times they let her linger in their bed, as if she were their real lover instead of just their sub girl.
She missed the easy companionship around the dinner table. She even missed her chores, though not enough to clean up her dump of an apartment. Better to just get a bunch of trash bags and fill them. Empty the place and start fresh.
Though she ached for what she’d lost, she wasn’t ready to return to them. She was no longer willing to settle for sleeping alone. She didn’t want to be just their sub, but not their lover. And she knew that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t what they had offered and she had claimed it wasn’t what she wanted.
But now she knew different. She was ready, for the first time in her life, to stop running. Cheryl had accused her of being afraid to commit, of heading for the hills whenever the L word came up. She understood now this was because she had never seen love. Not the deep, abiding love she’d observed between Daniel and Liam. A love she wanted for herself—if not with them with someone she could trust and connect with. Someone who understood her need to submit as a part of that love.
Over the next few days, with her novel done and not quite ready to start the next project, she took long walks early in the morning, musing on her life and what her next step should be. She kept thinking about Anthony Campos, the sexy, slightly dangerous whip maker who’d basically crashed their party.
She remembered he lived in Wilton, not far from Westport. He’d made a point of saying his address, though she no longer recalled it. She did recall he’d said he was listed. On a whim she pulled up a telephone directory on the internet and typed in his name and town. An address and phone number appeared like magic.
What had he said? She closed her eyes, trying to remember his exact words. Suddenly she could almost hear his voice, that deep, sexy voice with the rounded pure tones of his slight
Spanish accent.
If you ever want to connect with a real Master, someone who could take you where you’ve always dreamed of going, call me. I’ll be waiting, Alexandra.
Had he meant it? Should she call? Or was it just bullshit, like his claim he’d wait a thousand years.
What the hell? She’d already lost everything by leaving Daniel and Liam. What was left to lose? She grabbed her cell phone and punched in the number. She got his voicemail, panicked and hung up.
Less than thirty seconds later her cell phone rang. She recognized the number she’d just dialed. Her heart began tapping high in her throat. “Hello?”
“Alexandra. Is that you? Did you just call me?”
“Oh. Yes. Um, I got your voicemail.”
“Forgive me, I was on a call. I hung up when I saw your name on the caller ID. How wonderful to hear your voice.”
“Thanks.” Alex smiled for the first time in three days.
“Do you have permission to speak with me?”
“I don’t need permission. I left them. I’m back at my place.”
She waited him for to say I told you so but instead he said, “Come to me, Alexandra. Do you know how to get to Wilton?” He gave her brief directions, not even giving her the option of refusing. Something in his tone and manner was so compelling, it didn’t even occur to her to say no.
“I eagerly await your arrival, lovely Alexandra. My heart pounds in anticipation.” She couldn’t help but grin at his flowery language though it pleased her nonetheless. After she hung up, she thought about calling Cheryl so at least somebody would know where she was. After all, how well did she know this guy?
She nixed the idea, not willing to hear yet another lecture about responsible behavior. “I’m a grownup,” she told herself. “I don’t have to tell people where I’m going. I can take care of myself.”
Before she could talk herself out of it Alex packed an overnight bag, put on some mascara and lip gloss, changed her practical cotton panties for a sexy, lacy thong beneath her denim miniskirt and headed out the door.
In fifty minutes she pulled up in front of a two-story gray stone house with white pillars flanking the porch. It was set back on a well-manicured lawn in a very nice neighborhood, though not as nice as Liam’s place in Westport.
It occurred to Alex she knew next to nothing about Anthony Campos. Was he married, divorced, bisexual? He wasn’t gay and he was definitely Dom. She didn’t even know how old he was, though she suspected he was in his mid- to late-thirties.
She pulled into the driveway of the attached garage and sat there, wondering just what in the hell she was doing. Maybe she was rushing into something she wasn’t ready for. Maybe she’d just take a drive through this nice neighborhood and think things through a little more.
Before she could put her car in reverse, the front door opened and there he stood wearing dark slacks and a white button-down shirt. He had a few days’ sexy stubble on his cheeks and chin and he flashed a white smile as he waved.
She couldn’t very well turn around and leave now. She grabbed her keys from the ignition, reached for her purse and climbed out of the car. She’d leave the overnight bag in the car, not wanting to appear overeager.
“Alexandra.” He approached her as she moved toward the front door. “It’s wonderful to see you.” He gripped her forearms and looked her up and down. “You are lovelier than even memory served. Please come in.”
They entered a large living room decorated in shades of gray and charcoal. The furniture was leather, the pictures on the wall abstract. He led her through the room to the kitchen, which had marble countertops, new appliances and a bar with barstools set along it.
He gestured for her to sit. “Can I get you some tea or coffee? Soda? I have a bottle of chilled Chardonnay. I was just going to have a glass. Or perhaps you are hungry?”
Alex sat at the bar, setting her purse down on the floor beside her barstool. It was nearly five in the afternoon. Though Alex had skipped lunch, she had no appetite. At least not for food. “Wine sounds good.” She tried not to fidget. What the hell was she doing there?
She had to admit, the house was very nice and Anthony was being extremely polite and pleasant. He was obviously well off and very good-looking. He seemed to be very glad to see her. So what the hell—she’d drink a glass of wine and see where things went.
He placed two large wineglasses in front of them and poured from an open bottle, which he left on the counter. He sat beside her. “I’m so glad you called. I have thought of you often.” He sipped from his glass and set it down.
Alex took a long, deep drink and wrapped her hands around the wide globe of the glass. Usually talkative, she was shy around Anthony, even though he’d already seen her half naked at the party. Then she’d belonged to Liam and Daniel. Now she belonged to no one.
As if reading her thoughts or at least the nature of them, Anthony said, “I was surprised but pleased to get your call. I thought you were the proud property of Liam and his sub boy?”
Alex flushed. “Yeah, well. I guess I’m just taking a little break. You know, some breathing space. They, uh, they have some stuff to work out.”
Anthony nodded. “I would imagine it’s very difficult to share someone as lovely and special as you. Jealousy is bound to raise its head despite the best of intentions.”
Though flattered by his words Alex felt compelled to be honest. “I wish it were so simple but it’s not really about me. That is, I’m involved, but the real issue is between them. How they can work out their relationship as a couple. I’m not sure…” She blinked away the tears that were threatening behind her eyelids. “I’m not sure there’s a place for me there. Unless I’m willing to settle for always being in the background. A toy they take out to play with when they’re in the mood.”
“And you want more.” Anthony’s eyes hooded though he continued to smile. She nodded. “Naturally,” he went on smoothly. “You want to be the subject, not the object. You want to be both controlled and adored. Both claimed and loved by the man who has the courage to harness your fiery spirit and take possession of your body, heart and soul.”
Alex wanted to make fun of Anthony’s lofty speech, at least in her head, but she found she couldn’t. Yes. Yes, she did want that. Harnessed, possessed, adored, loved…
He put his finger beneath her chin and raised it, forcing her to look at him. “I sense a potential in you ripe for exploitation. Let me show you what it is to truly submit to a real Master. No games. No pretense. Stripped bare and completely exposed. It’s what you need. I knew it the minute I saw you. We don’t know each other well yet, not in the traditional way of exchanging life stories and making endless small talk.
“But between Master and slave, such exchange is superfluous. We already know each other, you and I. We were born knowing each other. I know what makes you tick. I know how to break you down and rebuild you, bone by bone, muscle by muscle into my perfect slave.”
Alex drank her wine. Who the fuck was this guy? She wasn’t sure she wanted to be broken down and rebuilt or whatever the hell it was he was saying. Yet, even as her mind rebelled, her body was responding. Her nipples ached and there was a throb between her legs. What would it be like to spend an hour or a day submitting to a man like this?
“Talk to me.” It was a command to which her submissive nature responded. “Tell me about what you learned during your brief stay with those worthy gentlemen. Was that your first submissive experience?”
“No. I mean, yes. That is, I played around before but I never lived it. I never had the formal training they offered. It was my first real 24/7 experience.”
“And what did you learn? Can you take a whipping with grace? Can you service and pleasure a man without regard to your own desires? Did they teach you proper slave decorum and positions? Did you have a signed contract?”
“A contract?”
“Yes. A contract negotiated between Master and slave so you know your place and what is ex
pected and required. I think it’s a good idea. Then you know what you’re getting into. It isn’t some nebulous arrangement where you don’t know where you stand.”
“Huh.” Alex thought this over. Maybe if she’d had a contract with Daniel and Liam, they wouldn’t have ended up so muddled and confused, with differing expectations and desires.
She looked down at the pretty silver bracelets on her wrists. How happy and proud she had been to accept them, foolishly believing they meant something. They do mean something, a voice whispered inside her head but she shook the words away.
Again she felt Anthony’s dark eyes on her and felt compelled to look at him.
“Stand up,” he ordered.
She stood, aware the wine had gone to her head. He stood as well. Lowering his head, he kissed her mouth.
At first, he just touched her lips with his. Then he pressed the tip of his tongue between them. She parted her lips and closed her eyes, her heart dancing in her chest, her knees weak. He took her into his arms and held her as he probed her mouth. He pulled her close, crushing her breasts against his hard body. His arms were tight around her and she could barely catch her breath.
When he finally let her go, she stumbled back. He reached for her and helped her regain her balance, half lifting her back onto the stool. Her nipples were stiff against her bra and her panties were wet. She knew she was flushed by the heat in her face and neck. She licked her lips, still feeling the imprint of his kiss.
He sat again beside her, his dark eyes glittering. Something hard in them nearly frightened her but she was too aroused to give this much credence. “I want you, Alexandra. That kiss only confirmed what I knew the moment I saw you. We are already bound together. I hope you have the courage to realize this with me.
“Let me show you what true submission is really about. Not the playacting games those men put you through for their own titillation and amusement. I’m talking about real submission. Giving yourself one hundred percent. The ultimate exchange of power. Do you have the courage, Alexandra? Do you dare?”
Two for Alex: M/m/f BDSM Ménage - 2 Volume Set Page 30