Own (Need #3)

by K. I. Lynn

  “He won’t.”

  Mom turns to me and quirks her brow. “And you know this?”

  “I lived with him for two years in high school and he didn’t give a shit about me or what I was doing. He just cared about the next woman he was going to fuck. That bastard doesn’t give two shits about anyone but himself, just like you said.”

  “Jesus, Brayden. Language.”

  Carrie’s eyes are wide as she looks at me. “I take it things aren’t good between you two.”

  I shake my head. “You have no idea how many fist fights were narrowly avoided over the last few years. Once all this is done, once he’s divorced from Sonia, I will never speak to him again.”

  “He doesn’t sound like the type of man I want anywhere near my daughter, even if she is his.”

  “Have you talked to him at all?” I ask. There’s no doubt in my mind Emily is my sister, the physical evidence is strong. Even with Carrie and my father being blood relations, Carrie and I have very little resemblance.

  I’m convinced Emily got her looks directly from my father.

  She nods. “It’s been over a decade. I called him when I found out I was pregnant, but he said he didn’t care, that she was my ‘problem’ to deal with. When she was born, I called him again and let him know I was putting him down as the father. He got angry, said it wasn’t him, called me a slut. I tried to get him to take a paternity test so I could prove it to him, but he refused to consent.”

  Which is why I’m here. “I guess he thought we’d never meet.”

  She nodded. “He threatened me that if I continued to pursue it he’d have Emily taken from me.”

  I grind my teeth together, anything to keep the anger at bay. Carrie’s place is sparse but clean and I don’t need to be making any messes for her by fucking up the walls with my fists.

  “And without a support system or money, I couldn’t risk it. Emily is all I have.”

  She has support now and I’m going to make sure she buries him.

  “I think it’s time.”

  Carrie nods. “I’ll go get—”

  “No, I’ll get her,” I say, interrupting her.

  There’s a small hallway that separates the living spaces with the bedrooms. The two rooms are then separated by a bathroom.

  I glance to the left and through the open door to one of the bedrooms. It’s just a mattress on the floor with a dresser. No decorations and only a few small knickknacks on the top of the dresser.

  With a small push the door to the other bedroom swings open. I see then where any of Carrie’s extra money goes. Emily’s room doesn’t have a lot, but it has the only matching furniture in the house. There’s also some toys and games and a small television, along with the dozen stuffed animals on the pink covered bed.

  Emily is Carrie’s whole life. Everything she does is for her.

  The only thing that stops me from falling to my knees and breaking down in front of this little girl is that I’m her older brother. The grown up.

  She’s never had a dad. The least I can do is remain strong for her.

  “Hi,” Emily says, her bright smile beaming at me from the floor.

  It’s contagious and I find myself smiling back as I kneel down next to her.

  “What are you doing?”

  She flips the pages of a very large book and it takes me a second to realize it’s a photo album.

  “I wanted to show you what you’ve missed.”

  What I’ve missed.

  Damn, talk about ruthless. She doesn’t mean anything about it, she’s excited to show me her past, but it is just another thing glaring at me, screaming at me this is what he denied you.

  Not just me, but her as well. He denied us, denied family.

  “You know what? Why don’t we wait on this for next time? Then I can bring my book and we can share.”

  She nods. “I’d like that. I especially like that it means I’ll see you again.”

  “Me too.”

  Her excitement over me, an essential stranger, kills me. A fucking knife in my chest and a pang of guilt that I don’t understand.

  I hope I’m not leading her on. I hope the test shows what I know in my gut to be the truth.

  Especially because while I look at her, I’m understanding more and more what Ryan feels for Kira. The emotion is a tight band around my throat and chest.

  “Come on,” I stand and hold both of my hands out.

  She slips hers in and I pull, rocketing her off the floor with all my strength.

  The high pitched laugh that comes out of her is almost lyrical, and she’s still giggling when we go back out to the living room.

  “What were you two doing?” Carrie asks with a smile as she pulls Emily to her side.

  Mom’s smiling at me as I sit back down, her hand patting my knee in a very “good boy” gesture.

  “It’s a secret,” I say

  “Oh really?” Carrie’s lip twitches.

  Emily nods. “It’s a sibling thing.”

  “Speaking of . . .” I pull my bag in front of me and pull at the zippers. From inside I retrieve the package that arrived a week ago. “Sibling paternity test from an accredited lab that is trusted in court.”

  In my hand is the way to get help for them. In my hand is more proof and another step to get Sonia to leave him. In my hand is the key to ending one family and opening up to another.

  Mom takes the box from me and pulls out the contents. She studies the instructions just to make sure we get it right, even though I know she knows what to do. Leave no room for debate due to a contaminated or incorrectly processed test.

  I even put the charge on the bastard’s credit card. He was paying for this just like he’s going to pay for everything else.

  A swap of Emily’s cheek, then mine, and for extra measure and clearer results, Mom and Carrie, and it’s done.

  Something so simple. A little bit of DNA taken in the most innocuous way, is all that’s needed for something so momentous.

  “Once the results are in and show that Brayden and Emily share a father, I have a family lawyer friend who is also willing to help you out pro-bono,” Mom says as she packages the tubes containing our swabs into the box provided.

  Carrie blinks at her. “What?”

  Mom smiles. “Steven has already made things financially challenging on you and this shouldn’t add to it.”

  “I don’t know, Abby. You’ve done so much for us and now this? After what happened?”

  “You weren’t a mistress, knowingly and with purpose pursuing my husband. You were taken advantage of, raped.” Mom stands and picks up her purse. “I think it’s time for lunch.”

  “I can’t thank you enough. All of this, being accepted versus us shunned.” Tears begin to roll down Carrie’s cheeks. “It means so much that you believe me.”

  “It’s pretty obvious,” I say as I stand. “I know what the test is going to say, and it means so much to me as well.” I look over at Emily. “I want to know all of my family, and he’s refused me that.”

  Carrie stares at me, her brow crinkled. “You think there are more, don’t you?”

  I nod. “Before Emily I had no clue I had any siblings, but after hearing your story and knowing his ways, I’m pretty sure there are more. The hard part is finding them, if they exist. I don’t know if it will ever happen, but I’ll keep looking.”

  “Do you hate him that much?” she asks.

  My brow furrows as I stare at her. “I do, but that’s not why. I was the lucky one, because I grew up with the support you desperately needed for Emily. I can’t stand thinking about how I may have other siblings and not knowing them. Screwing my father over more is just icing on the cake. Making him own up to what he’s done, to the lives he’s harmed.”

  “But . . . he gave me Emily.”

  I shake my head. “Don’t build him up to be anything more than a conniving sperm donor. He had one focus, Carrie, and he had absolutely not a care for you or your wellbeing. A
nd he harmed Emily by denying her a better life and most of all by denying her me. Because unlike him, I will be there for her. Unlike him, I will protect her.”

  Carrie jumps up and wraps her arms around me, nearly knocking me down. Her body shakes with sobs as she cries against my neck.

  “Thank you, Brayden.”

  I pat her back for a minute, then pull away. “I’ll get this sent out on Monday. The instructions say it’ll take a couple of weeks to get back. I’ll come back when they do.”

  She smiles at me and nods as we move to walk out the door.

  It was an emotion filled hour and I’m drained. We still have lunch, and I may have to crash at Mom’s before I head home.

  “So who is this lawyer you know?” I ask Mom after we drop Carrie and Emily back at home.

  Mom is silent for a few beats too long. “He’s a friend.”

  I turn in the seat. “What kind of friend?”

  She ignores me again, pretending she’s concentrating on driving. “He’s a friendly friend.”

  “Is he your boyfriend?”

  “Brayden, I don’t think—”

  “No.” I interrupt her. “It’s an easy answer, Mom.”

  She sighs. “I suppose he is.”

  “Suppose?” What kind of answer is that?

  “We went on our first date a few weeks ago. Our schedules clash a lot, so we haven’t gone out that much.”

  “How did you meet?”

  “A common friend’s party last year,” she says.

  “And you just now went out on a date?”

  “We were friends for a while, and things just changed.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Why are you giving me the third degree on this?” she asks. “I’m an adult and can date a man.”

  “Yes, you can, but I want to meet him.”

  She shakes her head and smiles. “Heaven help if you ever have a daughter. Poor girl will never get a date.”

  “Damn right.”

  It is an automatic response, and one that stuns me.

  Kids were never a thought because I made it that I was never going to fall in love. That things like relationships and marriage were for other people.

  But things have changed. Things that were once a never are becoming my new ideal future.

  Kira is my future. I want to be cemented to her forever. For the first time in my life marriage isn’t a never. My own family isn’t a never.

  I want a life with Kira. I want everything with her.

  Now to make it happen.

  Everyone I need is busy right now.

  Everyone.

  Ashley and Marilyn are both on dates. And I’m happy for them. I really am.

  Jenna? She’s getting laid. She hasn’t responded to my text but I know her. There’s no way she isn’t.

  My heart races. My hands are sweating. I’m pacing back in forth in the small lounge area of my dorm room, my body thrumming with violence.

  And it’s violence. I won’t deny it.

  I’m fucking pissed.

  I tried to be cool. Tried to go on about my day as if Brayden leaving the way he did doesn’t matter.

  Why is he treating me like this? Does he think I’m stupid? That I wasn’t going to notice he’s hiding something?

  I’ve known for a while now that he is. And I ignored it long enough. At first, the signs were few and far between.

  Now? The red flags are all up in my face, telling me I’m six different types of fool for trusting him.

  I tug on my hair. That’s not fair to him. He’s been trying so hard to change. I know he has. I give him all the credit in the world for it.

  But is it fair to me that I have to live knowing how he once was and now I have to deal with him lying to me about things?

  I need to talk to someone about this. It’s too much to keep locked up inside myself. I can’t sift through all this on my own.

  There’s only one person that might be available right now.

  If she isn’t giving my brother head at the moment.

  I cringe at my own stupid thought. What a way to traumatize myself. I head back into the room area to text Dana.

  Picking up my phone, I can’t help the way my stomach drops at the lack of text notifications.

  Brayden text me once this morning to tell me he was pulling up to his mom’s. I replied. After that, he didn’t.

  All day. It’s been nine hours since he last text me.

  Any other girlfriend would be blowing up his phone by now. It’s my right as his girl.

  I don’t feel like his girl. I’m not being treated as such. If ignoring the girl he’s with is the way a boyfriend acts, I don’t want part in any of this.

  So I haven’t reached out to him. I’ve left it alone. If I’m not important enough for him to keep in mind during his trip, then I won’t bother him. I’ll give him his space.

  It’s better than blowing up on him. I’ll just deal with my shit on my own.

  Dear God, this hurts. I don’t mean to be untrusting of him, I really don’t. He isn’t making trusting him easy, though.

  Dana responds to my text. Hey! No, I’m not busy. What’s up?

  Maybe it’s wrong to reach out to my brother’s girl for relationship advice but what choice do I have? I have no one at this moment, and besides, she’s been there for me before.

  I was wondering if you have time to go out for some drinks. I kind of need someone to talk to.

  Her next text comes through within seconds of me sending mine. I’ll take the car and will be there in less than 30.

  Damn, man. Even if she did slice my brother up in her quest for vengeance against him, the girl has a side to her that is just too awesome.

  I hurry to change my clothes and make myself look at least semi-human.

  “So . . . He’s hiding his laptop when you walk into the room. Set up a pin on it and on his phone?”

  I stare into my beer and nod. “The only reason I found out is when I went to use both. The phone pin is recent. It happened right before he left. The computer? That was two weeks ago.”

  Dana runs her hand through her hair. “Did you ask him about it?”

  “Why should I? He locked me out of his devices. I doubt he’s going to tell me why.”

  She pounds back her drink like a pro. “God damn it, Brayden. What are you doing?”

  At least now I know I’m not going crazy. I’ve asked myself that question at least fifty times since he left yesterday morning.

  “Text him.” Dana waves the waitress back over to us.

  “What? No!”

  Dana ignores me and orders us shots of tequila.

  My eyes go wide. “No to that as well woman!”

  She waves me away like my two refusals are ridiculous. “Trust me. You need them. Now text him.”

  I finish my beer and resign myself to the shots. The text, however? “No. He hasn’t reached out to me all day. Why should I bother him?” I can’t hide the bitterness in my tone.

  “I want to see how long it takes him to get back to you.”

  “What if he doesn’t get back to me at all?” I ask in a small voice. Fuck, I’m pathetic and weak, but I’m pretty sure I’ll cry in the middle of this bar.

  Dana raises her eyebrow and for the first time, I see that merciless, vindictive side of her shining through. “I hope the boy isn’t actually that stupid. Especially since you and I are starting to get close.”

  Our shots arrive.

  I slam mine back for courage and send him that text. I tell myself before typing it out not to come off as bitchy or petty.

  I fail.

  I guess you’ve been too busy to call or text.

  “Let me see.”

  I turn the phone around so Dana can read it. “Was it wrong of me to say that?”

  She scoffs. “Girl, you were so much nicer than I would’ve been. How does this sound? ‘Useless motherfucker, get back to me now or you can kiss my fine ass on its way to the next dick.’”


  I want to both laugh and cry at that. “I don’t know what to do. I feel guilty for not trusting him. What if he’s just hanging with his mom as he said?” I place the phone face up on the table so I won’t miss his text if it comes through.

  “Well, has he ignored you like this while with his mom before?”

  My response is quick. “Never.”

  Her eyebrows raise high. “Combine that with his recent behavior . . . Listen, I’m praying with you. Hard. And there’s a part of me that keeps insisting Brayden adores you and he wouldn’t do anything stupid to ruin what you two have.”

  I nod because there’s a big part of me that feels the same way.

  “But it’s not your fault you’re panicking. Kira, you’re human, and he hoe’d his ass all over the place back in the day. That’s not something you forget. How you feel is understandable.” She reaches across the table and grabs my hand.

  I smile at her although I feel like going home and curling into a ball. Stupid, since the last thing I needed was to be alone, and that’s why I called her.

  “He hasn’t gotten back to you, yet. Has he?”

  I would have seen my phone light up if he had. Still, I pick it up and double check.

  Nothing.

  The urge to call him chokes me.

  If I do, I’m going to end up cursing him out. I know myself. I might go ahead and use Dana’s line after all.

  “We need more drinks.” Dana twists around in her seat, looking for the waitress.

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I tend to get stupid when I drink.”

  “I won’t let you get to that point, trust me.”

  So I do. She orders us one more round of shots and after that we go back to drinking beers.

  Mixing different types of alcohol is a recipe for disaster, but we aren’t planning on having too many more.

  To her credit, she drops the Brayden subject and tries to distract me talking about other things.

  Obviously, it doesn’t work.

  My life has become mostly about him lately. What more do I have to talk about? “Um, I hate that I even have to ask you this, but can you please not tell my brother? I don’t want to cause a rift between him and Brayden.”

  “Of course. I mean, if Brayden ends up really fucking this up, I won’t have a choice but to tell him. However, we’re going to stick on the side of faith and believe that he has a perfectly rational explanation for this.”