Yesterday's Tomorrows

by M. E. Montgomery

  She gave me a watery smile and mouthed, “I love you, too.”

  “You said once you weren’t like Claire,” I continued. “That’s a good thing, sweetheart. I’m not looking for a replacement for her. I’ll always love her in some way, but you’re my life now. I didn’t bury my heart five years ago. It just took that long to find the right person to make it beat again. You set my heart free.” I glanced at the letter. “So no matter what that holds, I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Madelyn Grace Stone. I think you should move in with me permanently. Let’s create a home together. And then, when the time is right, Lily can come live with us.”

  Those green and brown eyes gazed at me in wonder, and in them I could see all the worry and doubt fade as love rushed in to replace them. “You would be willing to take on Lily, too? Even though she’s not yours? Or mine?”

  “I told you once, Madelyn, all children should be celebrated. I’ll fill whatever role is needed in her life. She’s a delightful little girl. And whether she’s a part of me or not doesn’t matter. Nothing in that envelope changes that, okay?”

  She shook her head while tears spilled down her cheeks. “Holten Andrews, you are absolutely the most amazing man.”

  I squeezed her tight. “What, no funny grannyism for this moment?” I teased.

  She nodded. “How about, ‘I love you?’ Seems the most appropriate. Sometimes something simple says it all, and I do, Holt. I love you more than I ever knew was possible.”

  That was one expression I understood without explanation, and it was one I was going to repeat to her every day for the rest of our lives.

  41

  Charly

  Dearest Maddy,

  This is the most difficult letter I’ve ever written. They are the words I should have said to you so long ago, words I should be saying in person. But I’m not sure when or if I’ll ever have that opportunity. I don’t know if you’ll ever talk to me again, and of course, I can’t blame you for feeling that way.

  I love you, Maddy. I always have. We both know life was hard for us growing up. While you worked hard to make the best of it, I used it as an excuse for bad decisions. Once dad left, I did feel resentment toward you. Not only had I lost a mother when you were born, but I lost my dad, too. I’m not proud of that. It wasn’t your fault. Dad was weak, but in my mind it was love that made him that way. I decided then and there that I’d never love anybody. In some twisted way, I thought it would save me from being hurt. Shows what I know.

  At first, I was excited for you when you earned the scholarship Paul Regis dangled in front of you. You deserved it. But I wanted my own meal ticket and since I didn’t have your book smarts, I used what I did have - my looks and my body. I seduced Paul. It wasn’t hard. He told me he and his wife were separated and had filed for divorce. He swore he loved me, and he promised he was going to take me away and we’d get married.

  He convinced me we should set up a bank account that wasn’t directly in his name or social security number so that his wife wouldn’t be able to claim it in the divorce settlement. He suggested we use your information; that way he could make sure your scholarship money was immediately accessible for whatever you needed. So that’s what we did. It sounds so naïve, so dumb writing this now. I didn’t understand how scholarships worked, and Paul made sure we had the right paperwork to do things in your name. I don’t know if he forged your name or included it in so much of the ‘scholarship paperwork’ he made you sign.

  One day, he left his phone while he went to the bathroom. A text came through, and so I read it. It turned out it was from his wife, asking him to bring some milk home for their girls. I knew then everything he’d told me had been a lie. I started doing some sneaking around. I called his work and asked about the scholarship. They’d never heard of it. I played up the dumb, doting girlfriend, trying to figure out what he was really up to. He always seemed to be taking calls about work, always talking about some kind of trees from Russia and Mongolia. I never quite figured it out, but I suspect he was embezzling money from work and was using you to hide it.

  And then I found out I was pregnant. I honestly wasn’t sure if it was his baby, but he was the most financially stable of any of the possibilities. I thought it would be the ticket to make him finally leave his wife. But when I told him, he laughed at me and said he didn’t want another brat, especially one from a whore of a mom. He wanted me to ‘get rid of it.’ Maddy, I couldn’t do it. I knew what it was like to be a child to grow up without a mother. I wasn’t going to also be the woman who lived without her child. So I refused. I told him he could use the money in our account to support the baby and me. He grabbed me and said if I wouldn’t take care of it he would, that he’d beat it out of me. I cried, I begged, and I pleaded. He didn’t listen, so I told him I knew he hadn’t left his wife, and wouldn’t she like to know about the money he was hiding from her.

  He got so mad. He tied my hands, and I was so scared, Maddy. He told me not only would he get rid of the kid, but he’d make sure I couldn’t run my mouth. He was mumbling something about how they’d kill him if they knew what he’d done that no one could know about that account. He laughed about how easily he’d been able to use the Stone sisters to get everything he wanted. He threw me on the bed and smacked my face and even hit me in the stomach. I’ve never been so scared.

  That’s when you walked in, Maddy. You know the rest of what happened. What you didn’t know was that you saved two lives that day. I honestly thought you wouldn’t go to jail. I thought they’d look at your record and know what a good and honest person you were. I didn’t know that Paul’s wife knew about the affair the whole time and that she’d be able to paint you as her husband’s lover. My only thought was to hide and protect my baby from whatever mess Paul had gotten himself into. I was afraid whoever ‘they’ were would come after me. So I had my and Paul’s name removed from the account and left it in just yours. I’d hoped that no one would ever think to look for the money if it was just in your name. However, I still had access to it if I forged your name on checks or the debit card we had. I’m so sorry, Maddy. I was trying to find a way out of it. But sometimes I fell on hard times, and I thought Paul owed me that money anyway, so I spent some of it when I needed to.

  By now you’ve figured out you’re an aunt. I had a baby girl the following April. I named her Lilian Grace, for mom and you. I call her Lily. I fell immediately in love, and knew I needed to be the best mom I could be, which meant straightening up my life and making amends. By then you were in prison, and I didn’t know how to get you out. I should have come forward, but I was so afraid they’d take Lily from me. I even convinced myself that maybe you were safer in jail, that no one from Paul could get to you. You weren’t answering my letters. Not that I could blame you. As I look back over this long letter, I wonder if you’ve made it this far in reading it or if you saw my handwriting and threw it out. But I won’t stop trying, Maddy. One day, I’ll figure out how to get out of this mess. I’ll never be able to make it up to you, but I owe you my life and the life of the one thing that means more to me than anything, and some day, I hope you’ll find that person who makes you happier than anything. I want you to meet Lily. I know you’ll love her. I tell her all the time about my sister who protected her and is a hero. I want her to grow up like you.

  I guess you’re wondering why I’m putting all this in writing. I don’t know how to explain it. I have a bad feeling the people Paul knew have figured out the money is in your name. I can’t put you in danger, so I’ve decided to go to the police and tell them everything. I can’t hide anymore. I’ve been afraid I’d go to jail myself for identity theft, and then Lily wouldn’t have family left. But now you’re free. Maybe, if you can find it in your heart to love a little girl who is innocent in the entire matter, she can still have family if something happens to me.

  I do love you, Maddy.

  Charly

  42

  Maddy

  These past few days
had been overwhelming with fear, sorrow, and enormous revelations. The police were making arrests, thanks to the combination of information from Charly’s letter, including the bank account numbers she’d attached, and from the investigator Holt had hired. It turned out Paul Regis was trafficking timber, importing wood from a protected tree in Russia and illegally selling it to the Chinese. I’d never heard of such a thing, but it was obviously profitable. It was his cut that he was trying to hide in case the Feds caught on. But apparently, he was also lying about the profit margins to his crime partners. The U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement raided the corporate headquarters of the parent company and arrests had already begun, although it would be a long process until the Department of Justice would have everything they needed to go to court.

  The men who’d held me hostage and shot Holt were paid thugs trying to pass as something more. They’d been hired by a couple of Paul Regis’s partners-in-crime, trying to rattle loose information so they could get their hands on his share of the money. Fortunately, they hadn’t been true professionals, just some idiots willing to break the law for some extra dough. They were daring enough to be bold and dangerous, but not smart enough to pull off their crimes. I guess it was true that if you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch. But we weren’t complaining. The one holding me had been shot by a sniper who arrived on the scene at the courthouse, and according to the police, he was singing like a canary to the Feds.

  We still weren’t quite sure why Charly was at the courthouse. We thought it was possible that she was going to try to make contact with me that day. Maybe that’s why I felt like someone was watching me when we were in court. Regardless, somehow she’d seen what was taking place. I wondered if she planned to confront the gunmen and tell them what they wanted. A witness said she’d seen Charly start toward Holt and had almost made it to him when all hell broke loose instead. We’d just been so focused on the people involved, we didn’t even notice her until it was too late. It didn’t change anything; she’d taken a bullet that would have otherwise hit Holt.

  I was still trying to process it all, but sometimes it felt like trying to separate water with a sieve. Sometimes there just weren’t enough answers for all the questions, but we knew enough to begin to attempt to put it all behind us.

  Holt’s family met us at his apartment after he was released from the hospital a few days ago. With Holt’s help, I nervously told them everything. Needless to say, they were shocked. I clutched Holt’s hand, terrified his family would find me unworthy of their son, but the only thing they were upset about was why we hadn’t confided in them sooner.

  Now three days later, I found myself trying to deal with one of the hardest pieces of the entire event.

  “Are you ready?” Holt asked me for the second time this week. I knew he was worried about me.

  “Not really, but I don’t have a choice,” I answered softly, biting my thumb while I gazed out the window.

  We sat in Cal’s SUV along the green grass at the cemetery where Charly would be laid to rest next to our mother. It was a pretty cemetery, well-tended and lined with trees on the edge with a pretty stone chapel near the entrance. It was located on the other side of town where my parents had lived before I was born - before my father lost everything due to his drinking habits.

  Earlier today we’d had a service at the church where Vic and Francine Barnes attended. They insisted on helping to pay for the funeral services, which I tried to refuse, but eventually accepted when Holt reminded me that they loved Lily like a granddaughter, and to let them do it for her. It was a fairly small assembly, but several parents from Lily’s school and the principal attended, and I could read the sincerity in their voices as they told me what a wonderful mother Charly had been. Others had taken time off from the law firm to attend. I didn’t miss the look of surprise on Holt’s face when he saw Linda Talbot wipe her eyes as she gave me a warm hug. He didn’t think his secretary had a soft spot anywhere in her.

  There were a few cars behind us; others who had chosen to make the drive to the town where Charly and I grew up – all of the Andrews family, the McCloskeys, and the Barnes. Cal and Sara had driven us since Holt needed his pain meds for the long day, and I didn’t have a license.

  “Take your time,” Cal said, turning around and smiling gently at me. “I’ll speak to the funeral director and just have him wait until you’re ready.” He and Sara got out, taking Cara’s carrier, and quietly shut the doors.

  “How about you?” I asked him. “This can’t be easy for you, either.” The last time he’d been to a funeral had been to bury his wife, and I knew this couldn’t be easy on him.

  Holt brushed his hand over my cheek. “I’ll be fine. It’s a hard day for everyone, but we’ll all be okay, I promise.”

  “You really think so?”

  “Maddy, I know so. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be a walk in the park. It doesn’t mean there isn’t going to be some tears and some struggles, but we’ll all get through, and you know why?”

  I smiled, confident in my answer. “Because we have each other.”

  His smiled beamed back at me. “That’s right, sweetheart. Whatever you both need, I’m here for you. And we’ll be here together for Lily.” His hand cupped my cheek, and I nuzzled into it. “I love you, Holten Andrews.”

  “I love you, too.”

  His eyes shifted to the cemetery and back to me. I wasn’t sure how I felt about today. It was an odd feeling. My sister had been lost to me long ago, yet it felt like I was losing her all over again. This time it was permanent, but with less anger. I grieved over not getting to talk to her, over what could have been. I wanted to rant at her, shake her for her stupidity, while simultaneously wanting to hold and hug her and tell her how proud I was of the mother she’d turned out to be and thank her for trying to look out for me.

  I drew a calming breath and nodded. He opened the door and assisted me while I slid out. Everyone else had already gathered outside of their cars, patiently waiting for us.

  “Aunt Maddy, is this where you and my mommy grew up?” a little voice asked.

  I squatted down in front of the adorable little girl who had slightly darker hair and greener eyes than her mom or me, but no one could question we were related. “Very close to here, sweetheart. Did you see that big field we drove past? I used to play in it. I’d pretend I was a princess locked up in a tower waiting for a handsome prince to rescue me.”

  She nodded solemnly. “Like Rapunzel. It was pretty.”

  “It’s even prettier in the summer when the flowers are blooming.”

  “Maybe we can come back and pick some flowers for my mommy.”

  I smiled. “Sure. We can do that.”

  “Did the prince ever come and rescue you, Auntie?”

  I glanced at Holt and smiled before looking back at her. “He did, Lily. When I was least expecting him, he rode in and saved me.”

  “Aunt Maddy? What’s going to happen to me?” Her little voice trembled.

  Looking her straight in the eyes, I answered, “Nothing, honey. Nothing is going to happen to you, I promise. We have a few things to figure out, that’s all.” I pulled her into my embrace and hugged her tight.

  Lily wrapped her arms around my neck and hung on for dear life. “Can I come live with you?”

  Oh, this girl already owned my heart. I’d do anything for her, just as Charly said I’d want to do. “Would you like that, Lily?”

  Lily’s chestnut curls bobbed up and down in an affirmative. “I love you, Auntie.” I thought my heart had been full when Holt told me he loved me, but now I saw how easily the heart had the capacity to grow when it came to love. I soaked it in eagerly, never having experienced it like this before.

  After the interment, the rest of the families headed back toward Richmond, except this time, Lily rode with us. She was fascinated by baby Cara and sat in the middle row with her, while Holt and I sat in the back watching them. In a spontaneous moment, I asked
Cal if he would mind taking a tour of the old town. Most of the storefronts were empty, abandoned homes dotted the streets, and many of those that were occupied looked worn and tired. When we passed the familiar trailer park, I clung to Holt’s hand. I shut my eyes tight and reminded myself how far I had journeyed since that day. Ironic how I’d come full circle.

  “Auntie Maddy, look! There’s the field you told me about.”

  My eyes flew open. “Cal, would you mind if I got out for just a minute?”

  He pulled over to the curb while I pulled on my coat. Holt struggled to do the same, but I placed a gentle hand on his arm. “No,” I said softly. “I need to do this by myself.”

  Reluctantly, he settled back in my seat. “Okay. But I’m here if you need me.”

  I smiled. “And that’s what makes it different this time.”

  I walked through the field, running my fingers across the top of the tall grasses. What I’d told Lily was true, it was much prettier in the summer when the wildflowers bloomed. But there was still something peaceful about the way the breeze rustled the pine trees on the edge several yards away.

  I closed my eyes and imagined what it might have looked like once upon a time. I envisioned fields with ripe grains, a family garden close to the house with vegetables galore, and children running and playing hard in this very spot. I remembered how I used to think I was saving the flowers that had sprung up in their place from their fate of being choked out by the weeds.