Wonderlust (Steel Roses #1)

by B. L. Wilde

  “Fuck…shit…fuck. Nat, I’m gonna cum!” He threw his head back, gripping my hair to hold me in place. It looked like I’d have no choice but to swallow, not that I minded. I’d always wondered if rock star semen had some special power. Oh God, I’d gone crazy. What was I thinking?

  He came hot and fast down the back of my throat. It didn’t taste bad, but it wasn’t great, either. You’ve just sucked Alex Harbour dry! Who gives a fuck how he tasted?

  “Fuck, Straight Lace! Fuck!” He had his arms over his face, his chest heaving up and down. “I want your mouth on me every fucking day!”

  “That can be arranged,” I giggled, kissing my way up his chest and cuddling up next to him. After our long sex marathon, we both fell asleep within minutes.

  I should have been happy spending time with my parents in San Francisco, but I wasn’t. Alex had flown me up first class to spend a few days with them. The cruise had anchored there for three days, so we’d checked into a hotel.

  We spent the days sightseeing, looking at antique shops and catching up. The problem with my parents was that they could read me like a book.

  “You seem very distracted, Natty,” my father mused, looking over his newspaper at breakfast. “Is everything okay?”

  “It’s difficult to switch off from my job. It’s been nonstop since I started.”

  He looked over at my mother, giving her a wide smile. “Can you believe that our little girl is the PA for the biggest rock star in the world? We’re so proud of you, Sweetheart.”

  “Thank you, Daddy.” Taking another piece of toast, I turned to my mother. “Are we going to have a spa session today before you head back to the cruise ship?”

  “Yes. It will do you some good. You need to look after your skin, too. Bambino, are you drinking enough water in LA?”

  “Yes, and I’ve been eating my fruits and vegetables. Mary, the housekeeper, is very good to me.”

  “I’m glad someone is looking out for you. Now, are you going to fill us in on Alex? You’ve hardly mentioned him these past few days.”

  “There isn’t much to tell,” I sighed. “He’s your typical rock star. It’s all parties, drink, and women.”

  “He seemed protective of you in the photos we’ve seen in magazines.” My mother paid too much attention sometimes. “There were even some taken at a bar in New York. You looked very cozy.”

  “What are you saying, Mother?”

  “Only what the press is.” Shaking my head, I laughed. “Just be careful. You know what they say about him.”

  “Mum, the press have no idea! Okay, he’s egotistical, but he’s allowed to be. He’s famous, but he has another side.”

  “Really?” My mum seemed too interested. “What’s this other side like, then?”

  “He’s just…normal.” It was true. Behind closed doors, Alex was a normal man, trying to find his way through life.

  “I see.” My mother looked like she was plotting something while she sipped her coffee.

  “You two better book your spa sessions. We don’t have that long until we set sail again.” Today was my last day with them, but I was excited to know that I’d be heading back to LA later this evening.

  Alex and I had spoken a few times while I’d been in San Francisco, but we’d mostly been texting. I looked down at my phone as it suddenly went off and tried to hold in a giggle.

  I slept in your bed last night. Hope you don’t mind. Jackhammer misses you, too. ;)

  I needed something witty to send back to him. While brushing my teeth, I quickly replied.

  Did you get chocolate on your sheets again? Tell Jackhammer that I’ll see him soon. I’m off to the spa to get ready for him, actually. ;)

  “Are you ready, Natty?” my mother called from our suite. “Your father is going to sit in reception with his book while we’re at the spa.”

  “Almost. I’m just brushing my teeth.” I called, snorting at Alex’s response.

  I’m going to get something on my sheets after THAT message. Or should I say your sheets? I’m in your bed, after all. ;)

  I didn’t have time to respond to him. My mother was waiting impatiently by the bathroom door. I’d see him later today anyway.

  “You and Dad seem to be enjoying the cruise,” I stated. I’d been scrubbed, waxed, and massaged practically everywhere, and felt so relaxed that I could hardly keep my eyes open as I lay on the lounger.

  “It’s wonderful. We should have done it sooner.”

  “Do you think you’ll do it again sometime?”

  “Maybe in a few years. How long do you intend on staying in LA?” She had me there. I truthfully had no idea. “Don’t you miss London? What about Liv and David?”

  “It wasn’t going anywhere, Mum. He is engaged. ”

  “Engagements break off all the time. The man doesn’t have a ring on his finger yet.”

  “Mother, I’m not going to chase a man that is already spoken for!”

  “I worry about you, Natty. Don’t you want to settle down? This job in LA…are you sure it’s you? Mixing with all those…” She was struggling for a word.

  “Celebrities?” I asked, arching my eyebrow.

  “No, drug addicts!”

  “Oh, Mum, please. I’m twenty-nine. I can look after myself.”

  “I don’t want you mixed up in all of that!”

  “Alex would never put me in harms way. His mansion isn’t some drug den.”

  “That doesn’t make me feel any better! Are you sure this is the right choice for you, Nat? You and David…I always thought one day he’d open his eyes and realize what he has with you.”

  “He wasn’t interested in me in that way. It was just sex.” Sometimes I wished I wasn’t so open with my mother. She knew everything about my life. Well, except for the fact that I was sleeping with Alex. She’d blow a fuse if I told her, though.

  “It’s never just about sex. There must have been more.”

  “You don’t know the modern man very well, do you? I’m happy, Mum, and I know what I’m doing. Please don’t worry about me.”

  “I’m your mother. It’s my job to worry.” I nodded, giving her a sympathetic smile.

  “Try and worry a little less, then.” I knew what I was doing to a certain extent, and I certainly wasn’t going to stress her out with what was really going on. I had to trust myself and my feelings. Not that it mattered. I was in too deep with Alex already. Falling for a rock star. After everything I’d already been through, how did I let that happen?

  It was emotional when we said our goodbyes. My parents still had four months left on their cruise, but seemed reluctant to leave me. It was more my mother, but I was a big girl now, even if she did worry about me.

  I sat on my first class flight back to LA with butterflies in my stomach. I’d only been apart from Alex for three days, but my body was burning for him. It made me wonder how he’d coped without me these last few days.

  I caught a cab from the airport. My plane landed quite late and I didn’t want to disturb Shane. Jimmy was on night duty and let me in. The place seemed pretty quiet compared to a few weeks ago when Central Demon had been here.

  Walking into the house, I dropped my bags and headed toward the kitchen to get a drink.

  “Oh, you're back,” a female spat from behind me. I froze taking a sip my water, recognizing the voice. What the fuck was Maddison doing here?

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I couldn’t control my rage. Why was it that every time my back was turned, some bimbo was trying to make a move on Alex?

  “I was invited.”

  “Like fuck you were!” I wanted to throw my water in her face but held off.

  She walked toward the large metal fridge and took out a can of whipped cream. “I only came out for this. I don’t want to keep him waiting.” Her words struck me down. Who was she talking about? Woodenly, I followed her. When she walked into the entertaining room, I’d seen enough. Rushing upstairs before the tears began to fall, I burst
through my bedroom doors. What a fucking asshole.

  The tears were falling thick and fast as I wandered over to my bed. Out of all the women Alex could want, why did it have to be Maddison? A sob broke from my chest.

  “Nat?” Alex suddenly sat up. He must have been lying on my bed. My eyes were so stained with tears that I hadn’t noticed him. “Nat, what the fuck is wrong?” He was at my side in an instant, pulling me into his chest. I began to sob even more, angry with myself. Why did I keep thinking the worst? Deep down, I knew he wouldn’t do that to me. He knew how I felt about Maddison. “Nat, you’re scaring the shit out of me. What’s wrong?”

  Taking a deep breath to control my sobs, I spoke. “I’m sorry, it’s just…it’s just…”

  “Aren’t you happy to be back? Is it David? Did he get ahold of you?” What? “He called earlier, demanding to see you. He didn’t believe me when I said you weren’t here.”

  “I…I…haven’t seen him.”

  “You’ll need to talk to him at some point. He isn’t going to take no for an answer.” Touching my chin, he lifted my tear stained eyes to meet his. “Straight Lace, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

  “Saying goodbye to my parents was difficult,” I lied. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting to find you in here.”

  “I was missing your scent. I’m sorry if I crossed the line.”

  “It’s your home, Alex.”

  “But this is your room. I don’t want you to feel as if you’ve got no privacy. You could have stayed with your parents longer. You only had to ask.”

  “No. They’re enjoying their cruise. Ignore me. I get sensitive when it comes to my folks.”

  “You’re lucky. I hardly see mine.” He flopped back on the bed. Noticing he was only wearing his boxers, my eyes widened. Why were we even talking? I hadn’t seen him for three days. “My dad is too busy with the new wife, and my mother, well she’s trying to divorce husband number five.” I didn’t know a lot about his parents. They had always shied away from the media when it came to their son.

  “You’re not close to them?”

  “God, no,” he snorted. “They fucked up my childhood because of their volatile relationship. Steel Roses was a blessing. It gave me the separation I needed.”

  “You don’t talk much about your Steel Roses days,” I mused, sitting back against my bedframe to get more comfortable.

  “Those days are tainted now.”

  “Why don’t you want to do a reunion tour with them? Do you have any idea how high the demand would be if Steel Roses got back together?”

  “Nat, I don’t want to talk about this shit right now. I’ve been wanting to bury my cock inside you for three days. I waited here to surprise you but you turned up sobbing. Diego has been going on at me, telling me to treat you right. You didn’t tell me that you’d told him about us. My brain is fried right now without talking about Steel Roses shit!”

  “You just want to fuck?” His eyes gleamed over and a playful smile crossed his face. “Why didn’t you say so?” I giggled, pouncing on him. Within seconds, he had me pinned down on the mattress with a fierce kiss.

  Weeks turned into months. Alex was working really hard on his album. After going to New York for a few weeks, Kingsley came to LA to finish up the tracks.

  Alex spent so much time humming or singing the new songs to himself that I knew most of them off by heart now. The album was, without a doubt, the best work he’d done since Steel Roses. The record label was excited about the release and had pushed it forward. It would be out just before Christmas, which was four months away. The first single from the album was due out in just eight weeks. It was safe to say, my job was going to get a lot busier.

  Alex and I were still somehow managing to hide our fling from everyone except Diego. It was easy living upstairs. As soon as those doors were closed, it was our time to talk, watch TV, and just be together. I cherished every single second of it.

  I still hadn’t gotten around to talking to David. Honestly, I wasn’t really sure what he thought we had left to say to each other. He’d be marrying Sarah within a matter of weeks. He needed to let go like I had.

  “You want me to come to a music award show with you?” I gasped, clutching Alex’s arms as he thrust inside me. “If I went as your date, wouldn’t people talk?”

  “You’re my PA. They wouldn’t think anything of it.” I knew he asked me these kinds of things during sex so that I’d say yes. “I want you there by my side, not organizing everything for me behind the scenes.” He was thrusting slowly and lovingly inside me. I’d give him anything in that moment.

  “Okay,” I panted, digging my nails into his shoulders. He picked up the pace as a response, and we soon climaxed almost as one.

  If I was going to an award show, I’d need a new dress. Diego jumped at the chance to head down to Rodeo Drive with me for the afternoon.

  “This is like your first official date!” He clapped his hands excitedly, holding the door open to Dior for me.

  “I’m only keeping his bed warm. You told me not to over think it, remember?” I laughed.

  “We need to find you the perfect dress” He ignored my comment completely. ”You’ll be on the red carpet, after all.” Fuck! I hadn’t thought of that. Damn you, Alex!

  Chapter Eighteen

  “You look beautiful. Stop worrying,” Alex soothed, stroking my knuckles with his fingertips. We were currently sat in the back of the limo, waiting for our cue to get out and walk down the red carpet together.

  “Are you sure about this?”

  “Are you worried about what the press will say?” Looking out the window, I scanned the huge crowd of paparazzi. I couldn’t stand in front of them with Alex. This was crazy. “Nat, it’s just an award ceremony. No one believes half the shit they write in the papers, anyway. You’re too beautiful to be behind the scenes. I want you center stage, with me.” He had such a calming effect on me. The car door opened. “Are you ready?” Alex asked, getting out first and then turning to offer his hand to help me out. With a deep breath, I took it. The screams were deafening as we made our way down the red carpet. Alex kept me close to his side the entire time.

  I was so grateful for Diego’s help getting me ‘red carpet ready’, as he’d called it. I was wearing a fairly new designer that he knew, but the black lace dress fit like it was made just for me. The neckline plunged low, but it held my cleavage in perfectly. He’d gone all out with my hair and makeup, too. My hair was partly up, with loose curls that fell down my shoulders. My makeup was natural, but he’d gone for a deep red lipstick. I felt confident next to Alex thanks to Diego.

  “Who is your date tonight, Alex?” one of the reporters asked as we continued to make our way down the carpet. I recognized his face. I was sure he worked for one of the gossip magazines.

  “You don’t recognize her?” Alex frowned with a chuckle. “Oh well. You can just make up a name for the morning paper. You usually do anyway.” I was giggling as Alex led me away.

  “I can’t believe you said that to him,” I murmured in his ear.

  We were quickly ushered to our table near the front of the stage. I was grateful we were seated with a few people that I knew. Alex’s producer, Kingsley Womack, was at the table with his wife, and Adam Slayer, a representative from Rock Records, was there as well. Alex was presenting an award tonight for best breakthrough rock band. It had been rumored that Central Demon had won the award.

  Gazing over at Alex, I admired him in his suit. The stubble on his chin gave him that edgy appearance he always went for. He looked divine, as always.

  “There are some good acts playing tonight. You’re in for a treat,” he whispered in my ear, draping his arm over the back of my chair.

  The award ceremony was an amazing experience. I'd watched so many over the years on the TV, but watching all the behind the scenes action was mind blowing. The live acts were amazing. They left me wanting to go to a full concert. I'd forgotten how good it felt to have the music p
umping through your chest.

  Watching Alex on stage handing out the award to Central Demon gave me a sense of pride, too. He might not be mine, but I was the woman that had been sharing his bed for the last three months. That had to mean something. Then I thought back to David. I’d been sleeping with him for almost four years and it meant nothing. I’d put myself right back in the same position that I’d been running from. I was in love with Alex—I’d known that for a few months now—but once again, I’d fallen for someone I couldn’t have. Looking up at Alex on stage, hearing the screams from his fans, reality sunk in. It was more ridiculous than my dream relationship with David. Being Alex Harbour’s girlfriend…I should have been a comedian.

  The after party was more informal. Alex had taken his bowtie and jacket off, and was talking to a few friends while I sat with Kingsley’s wife. We’d been mingling through the crowd for a few hours, and he could see that I needed to sit down and rest.

  “My husband is very excited about Alex’s new material,” she smiled, taking a sip of champagne.

  “They’ve both done an amazing job. I think it’s some of Alex’s best work.”

  “Kingsley said Alex seems more focused these days.” I was going to reply when someone in the crowd caught my attention. I should have gathered that David would be here tonight. Flavour records had a few artists attending. He was making his way toward me. Alex was deep in conversation with a group of people, so he hadn’t noticed. I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t really want a confrontation right now.

  “Nat,” David glared at me. “Why haven’t you returned any of my calls?”

  “I couldn’t see that we had anything else to say to each other. Now if you’ll excuse me, you’re interrupting my conversation!” Turning back to Kingsley’s wife, I tried to ignore him, but David wasn’t having that.