Shadow (Bridge & Sword: Awakenings #4): Bridge & Sword World

by JC Andrijeski

I’d felt sick for days now.

  Really, I’d felt sick for weeks––ever since I’d been locked up in that room in the Rebels’ stronghold, waiting to be shipped back to the Seven. Waiting for the shit to hit the fan when the Lao Hu reached the Rebel compound. Waiting for Revik to wake up after I’d doped him using his own tranquilizer darts on his own private plane.

  I’d been sick with worry. Sick with guilt. Sick with dread that I knew wasn’t all dread by now, but at least half anticipation. Increasingly, I’d also been sick with separation sickness, from locking Revik in the tank.

  I could barely come up with a facial expression as the 700-year-old seer climbed nimbly to his bare feet and grinned at me.

  He clapped his hands together as if to snap me out of my trance, fixing me with his dark eyes. When I met his gaze, his smile widened.

  “Hello, my dear! You look lovely! Just lovely!”

  I grinned, unable to help it.

  “You’re awfully chipper,” I said. “Is it because you’re sending me off to the guillotine once again?”

  “No. I am always thus, Alyson,” he said, clapping his hands again.

  “Mmm.” I tilted my head, squinting up at him. “No. You’re definitely chipper.” His enthusiasm relaxed me, making my own smile creep out wider. “So you’re feeling optimistic about this crazy plan of ours?”

  “Somewhat, yes! Somewhat, I dare say.”

  “Well,” I said, a little sourly. “You might be the only one.”

  “You are thinking of what Jon said,” the old seer observed.

  I nodded. No reason to elaborate. Not with Vash.

  The ancient seer took my shoulder in one hand, and steered me easily out of the rectangular room he’d claimed a few weeks earlier. He’d gotten here before me, traveling with Yumi and a dozen other Adhipan seers to bring Revik here while I distracted the Rebels in Hong Kong.

  I needed him, of course––there was no plan without Vash––but I’d still felt an almost indescribable relief when I actually saw his face, and not only because they’d managed to get Revik here without being gunned down or caught.

  When Vash first agreed to live in the laboratory complex with us for however-long the exercise with Revik took, I only half believed him. Even with me nominally in charge of the Seven, he was still a busy guy. He had the Council to hold together. He had his students, and the work he was doing, documenting the oral histories of the seers in the wake of the fall of Seertown. Moreover, he was an icon in the seer community. Vash carried nearly the entire weight of the original Sark spiritual traditions on his narrow shoulders.

  So, yeah, I didn’t take his offer literally.

  Then Tarsi showed up.

  I hadn’t seen her yet, but I knew from Balidor that she and Vash had been locked up together almost from the moment she arrived. I didn’t know if that was all Revik-related, but I suspected a fair bit of it was.

  Now I followed Vash without question, unable to hide my relief that I wouldn’t have to do this alone. It would be bad enough, I knew, even with the two of them there.

  “Start at the beginning, Alyson,” he reminded me.

  “I know.”

  “Or as near to it as you can.”

  “I know.” I forced a sigh, shaking out my arms. “I will. I’ll try anyway.”

  “Remember, it is all only resonance. Resonance is all we seers do. You resonate with your mate, with the beginnings of his life… then simply see what unfolds. Tarsi and I can help with the rest, once you are inside.”

  “Assuming he lets me inside,” I muttered.

  “Assuming that, yes,” Vash agreed, still cheerful. “Do not overcomplicate this, Allie. It will be difficult enough. Your job is only to get there, and then to help your mate with whatever is there. As I said––”

  “––It’s only resonance. Got it.”

  I rubbed my upper arms, biting my lip against the thousand or more things that wanted to come out of my mouth to refute the old man’s words.

  Because it wouldn’t be that simple.

  I knew that. Vash knew it, too.

  “He will fight you, yes,” Vash conceded. “But he cannot keep you out, Allie.”

  “Not if I force him,” I said, a little bitterly.

  “You are ready to try and establish a closer resonance with him again?”

  I gave a short laugh. “How sanitary you make it all sound.”

  He reached over, laying a hand on me. His fingers tightened on my shoulder. “This is the part that worries me most, Alyson. He could kill you, you know.”

  “I know.” I sighed again. “I know, Vash. But I don’t think he will. Anyway, if he does, that simplifies things considerably for the rest of you, doesn’t it?”

  Vash clicked softly. It was the only time I saw the smile leave his face.

  He was right, of course. Revik might kill me.

  This whole thing could be over really fast.

  But we’d discussed it a million ways from Sunday, and neither Vash nor I could think of another solution. The reality was, before I could even start on what Vash wanted me to do with Revik, I had to reach Revik. His light had changed so much, even since I’d known him as the Sword––there was no guarantee I could find a way in without that initial connection.

  The collar would make it nearly impossible to rely solely on the light structure we shared between us as mates.

  Vash confirmed the necessity of that re-connection, too.

  “You may have to rely on your own side of the structure you share, at first,” Vash reminded me. “That, and your feelings for him.”

  “I’ll need more than that,” I muttered, shaking my head as I walked.

  “It would be ideal,” Vash agreed, just as amiably. “It would hasten things immeasurably, there is no question of that. Possibly, it could even mean the difference between failure and success.” He smiled at me as he patted my back. “I must say, however, I think your plan is very risky, Alyson. Very, very risky.” He cleared his throat politely. “I am quite sure our dear friend, Balidor, would agree. Do you not think so?”

  I grunted, unable to entirely suppress the amusement in my light.

  To say Balidor wouldn’t approve of our plan was an understatement, to say the least.

  But it was now or never. I doubted I’d be able to gear myself up for this again.

  “I was afraid you would say that,” Vash said, sighing beside me.

  We’d begun walking down the second of the six hallways we needed to cross to get to our destination. I didn’t have a lot of time left.

  “If it doesn’t work,” I said, softer. “You’ll give the others my note? The video I left?”

  “Of course.”

  My mind kept wanting to go back to Jon.

  I couldn’t help but remember his description of his last conversation with Revik––really the only conversation anyone managed to have with Revik since he’d been captured. Jon’s assessment of Revik’s mental state was sobering, to say the least. It was also the thing that made me decide to go the more radical route with re-establishing contact.

  I knew Jon knew what he was talking about.

  I’d already run scenarios with Balidor, with Vash, even with Poresh, who’d offered to help with the back end of our little project. It always came back to the same thing.

  Jon was right. It wouldn’t be enough.

  First, I had to reach him. That was step one.

  According to Jon, Revik’s resistance was fear-based, therefore deeply irrational. That meant, I probably wouldn’t even get close to the true source of it until we’d been doing this for awhile. Even beyond what the Dreng might have whispered in his ears over the years, Revik would probably fight to the death to keep certain truths away from his conscious mind.

  I had no idea how early the edges of that would surface.

  “Yeah.” I sighed, wrapping my arms around my waist. “You know I’m right.”

  “Yes,” Vash said, without hesitation. “But it worries
me, Alyson.”

  “Is Tarsi ready to help you out? Once I do my bit, I mean?”

  “I am,” a voice said to my right. “Stop stalling, Bridge.”

  I jumped.

  Turning, I found the other oldest-seer-I-knew watching me from the doorway of one of the corridor rooms. She sniffed at my expression, folding her arms.

  “You can’t cater to the sentimentality of this old fool,” she said, indicating towards Vash with her head. “He’s a big baby, this one.”

  I smiled. I couldn’t help it.

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said.

  “No you won’t,” she said, sniffing again. “Never could listen.”

  I laughed aloud at that. I heard nerves in my voice, but it loosened my chest anyway.

  Vash and I waited while she locked the door to her apartments, fussing briefly over what she called the “grade-school security” built into the organic handle. Then she turned, giving me a stern look as she brushed off the front of the long, gray tunic she wore. Her long black hair and clear, almost colorless irises looked exactly as I remembered them. As always, the similarity of those eyes to her blood-nephew, Revik, threw me a little.

  In appearance, she was an odd collection of old and young, with perfect white teeth and finely wrinkled skin on her narrow, hawk-like face.

  “Not flattering,” she said in her pidgin Prexci. “You be old one day, too, Bridge. Older than me on the inside now.” Muttering, she added, “I can see it, even if no one else can.”

  I laughed again. I couldn’t help it.

  Before I’d thought about it, I enveloped her in a hug.

  She looked more irritated than pleased, and pushed me away from her almost at once, but I saw a small smile on her face as she disentangled my arms.

  “You hurt my nephew any?” she said.

  I winced.

  “Yeah. That’s what I thought.” She frowned at me, hands on her hips.

  I just stood there while she eyed me, and probably my light.

  “You going in alone?” she said finally.

  It wasn’t really a question. I saw her eyes sharpen as they met mine. The clear irises were so much like Revik’s, I found myself staring at them.

  “I think I should,” I said.

  That wasn’t really a question, either.

  “Yes,” she said, nodding at once. “Absolutely.”

  I felt my shoulders unclench. I glanced at Vash.

  “You know the plan then?” I asked her.

  “Yes.”

  “You’re okay with it?”

  She gestured sharply in assent, as if that was a given. “Not ‘okay.’ But necessary.”

  I nodded, relieved. “Good. You can help me browbeat Balidor into letting me go in alone. He’s going to absolutely hate the idea. Even without knowing the details.”

  Vash chuckled good-naturedly at this.

  The three of us didn’t talk again until we reached the security station outside the giant green tank. I was a little surprised to see a small crowd standing there, around the low console. In it stood Jon, Dorje, Poresh, Yumi, Tenzi, Illeg, Vikram and a few others I knew from Seertown or the Adhipan. Balidor stood in front, over Garend, who sat in one of the swivel seats.

  I tried to head off Balidor when he started walking in our direction.

  “I’ll have a headset, right?” I blurted.

  “Of course.”

  “With control over the organics of the room?”

  “Yes, yes,” Balidor said, impatient. “You can trigger the gas yourself, if need be. You can also lock down the room. If that happens, we will collect you as soon as he is out. But we have tested the chains, the collars. Everything is holding. There has been some reinforcement to the organic shields as well.”

  He gave a snorting kind of laugh, one he reserved for ironies he couldn’t quite believe.

  “Feigran gave us that advice. From when he held Dehgoies in the Caucasus Mountains. He studied his light pretty extensively, from what we can gather, so he lectured Jon about proper Barrier containment in relation to your mate.”

  My lips firmed. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh myself, or scowl.

  We were now taking advice from Revik’s previous torturers on how best to keep him locked up in a cage. Fantastic.

  Balidor might have read some portion of this on me. His smile faded.

  “You’re not going in alone, Allie.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, brushing him off in the hopes my dismissal might help. “I have to go in alone, ‘Dori. It’s not up for discussion.”

  “No,” he said.

  Folding my arms, I kept my eyes steady on his. “You think you’re going to join me in there, is that it? Because things will go swimmingly well if we gang up on him, especially given how he sees the two of us.” I gave an outraged laugh. “No, Balidor. The matter is completely settled. Vash and Tarsi agree with me.”

  Swallowing a little, since Vash hadn’t exactly, verbally agreed with me, I glanced at Tarsi, who eyed Balidor with a pale eye. She’d been the previous leader of the Adhipan before Balidor, and therefore his mentor and trainer. I figured her opinion had to hold more weight with him than anyone’s. Still, his face remained expressionless when he turned back towards me.

  “Please, Allie,” he said, quieter. “Not me. But go in there with someone. Don’t go alone.”

  “What about Jon?” I said.

  “Jon can’t help you!”

  I felt my face flush with real anger. “Really?” I snorted in disbelief. “Gaos save me from the arrogance of seers. Jon’s probably the only one here who can help me.”

  At the harder light that came to Balidor’s eyes, I cut him off.

  “Balidor… Jon’s the only person here who’s managed to get more than a handful of death threats and muttered curses out of Revik since we brought him here. He got Revik to actually talk to him. And Revik loves him. That’s worth more to me right now than a dozen of your trigger-happy infiltrators––”

  “I’m talking about if you get in trouble, Allie,” Balidor cut in, gritting his teeth.

  “I know what you’re talking about. I’m telling you, no. Absolutely not.”

  Realizing we were both on the verge of yelling, I forced myself to take a breath, to glance around at the others. Fingering the hair out of my eyes distractedly, I sighed, tugging a longer piece restlessly in my hand.

  “Anyway,” I said, my voice more subdued. “I’d still rather have Jon out here. Revik will feel ganged up on, even if it’s just me and Jon. I don’t want him turning on Jon, too. The last thing we need is him thinking the one person he can even semi-trust is working with the enemy. He needs at least one friend here, no matter what their race.”

  But Balidor’s eyes had followed the motion of my hands.

  “You’re wearing your hair down,” he muttered.

  I frowned. “And?”

  His eyes traveled from the loose but somewhat low-cut jade-colored blouse I wore, down to the darker-green harem pants that cinched both my waist and at the ankle just above my bare feet. The only jewelry I wore were teardrop earrings, also jade, and the silver chain with Revik’s mother’s ring. I also wore make up. Not a lot, but enough that Balidor seemed to notice the difference on my eyes, as well.

  “Do you plan to seduce him, Allie?”

  “I plan to try to get him to talk to me, ‘Dori. Every little thing helps. You know that. Hell, you’re the one who taught me that. What is it, one of the dozens of rules of infiltration: use every asset you have to disarm your target, no matter how trivial?”

  “That’s a slight abuse of those words––”

  “Christ. I’m not going in there in a geisha outfit! Or a bathing suit.”

  “Perhaps you should have opted for hooker wear. He seems to have a preference.”

  I felt something in my breath catch. That hit was a little too on-the-mark to have been entirely about my clothes. Knowing it was too late to pretend it hadn’t struck home
, I waited a beat before answering, looking away and resting my hands on my hips.

  Exhaling, I stripped the emotion from my voice.

  “Are you trying to knock me off balance right now, Balidor? Before I’ve even gone in there?” I met his gaze, my jaw tightening. “Because I don’t have time for that. I really don’t. This is going to take every ounce of my concentration as it is.” Pausing at his silence, I added, “If you’re not on board, I need to know. Now.”

  “Gaos, Alyson––”

  “I’m sure I can trust you to find someone else to spot me on this,” I warned, cutting him off. “Someone who can remain objective. I’m not trying to start a fight, I’m really not. But I can’t deal with emotional jabs from you, too. Trust me, Revik is better at them than you are.”

  Balidor blinked, as if taken aback.

  Then he flushed.

  From his expression, I knew my words hit their mark, too. Copying my pose, he put his hands on his own hips, shaking his head. His voice dropped to a mutter.

  “It just seems like you’re taunting him, Allie.”

  “Well, I’m not.”

  “Confusing him, then.”

  “He likes my hair down, Balidor. All right? Get over it.”

  In the pause after I spoke, I realized the rest of the room had fallen silent, and now stood staring at the two of us. Glancing around at the circle of faces, I felt my own warm slightly before I turned back to the Adhipan leader.

  “Look,” I said, taking a breath. “I’m telling you the deployment I need. I need Jon accessible… in my headset. I’d like you there, too, and if possible, Tarsi and Vash. The rest of your team can watch and deploy whatever security protocols out here that you think necessary. But I don’t want you directly involved.”

  Exhaling again, I brushed my hair out of my face with my fingers.

  “I know I probably can’t get him to trust me,” I added. “But the only hope I have is if he doesn’t feel played. He sure as fuck’ll know if I have someone in there with me, or if I have voices incessantly talking in my ear, so I want the chit-chat kept to a minimum. Have whoever you want as close to the outside of the door as you think necessary, but I don’t want anyone coming in unless one of three things happens: I ask for them, I’m unconscious, or I’m dead.”