“You just don’t like them very much, is that it?” Balidor said. “Mommy didn’t love you enough? Or is it something else? Maybe she loved you too much?”
Revik lunged at him. That time, he got the front of his shirt, fought to trip him and lost his balance. He nearly fell, but slammed Balidor into the wall instead, hard enough to shake the organic window. Jon stiffened when he saw Revik pinning him there, his legs holding him against the organic metal, his hand around his throat.
“Do we gas him?” Jon said.
Dorje held up a hand, cautioning him to wait.
“He may have let him do that,” he said, but his eyes never left the two of them.
Balidor laughed, gasping a little against the hold Revik had on his throat. “Touched a nerve there, did I, runt?”
Revik squeezed his throat tighter. Tight enough that the older seer’s complexion darkened. Jon didn’t see him struggling for his life though, and realized he still had an arm between Revik’s body and his, that Revik couldn’t get his other hand around his throat.
When Revik finally loosened his hold with the other hand, Balidor laughed again, still gasping as he met the Elaerian’s gaze.
“Why did you tell her to leave, Nenzi?”
“I didn’t. She left.”
“Nonsense. I saw you with her. You did everything but punch her in the mouth.”
Revik loosened his hold on his throat, but not by much. He stared into the other’s eyes. “Still jealous, ‘Dor? Worried she’d have me if she could?”
“Yes,” Balidor said. “But that’s not why I’m asking. I want to know why you drove her away. Why you all but forced her to leave you… when you’re clearly so in love with her you can barely stand to hear her name.”
Revik’s eyes changed. Jon saw them flicker in a kind of startled expression, right before his mouth hardened.
“Bullshit,” he said.
“Now who’s lying?”
“What the fuck do you want from me?”
“Why did you show her all those memories of you with whores, Revi’? Why bludgeon her with all the rapes? All the murders of your lovers?”
Revik’s jaw hardened more. “Fuck you.”
“You could have shown her other things about your past, surely. Things with just as dramatic of an impact. Why did you keep bringing her back there? Why torture her with all that? Did you really expect sympathy from her?”
Revik shook his head, clicking angrily. The coldness rose in his eyes.
“What is it with you and my sex life, ‘Dor?”
“Is that what you’d call it?” Balidor gave a contemptuous laugh. “I know about Pirna, Revi’. I know what you did to her. And to her husband.” His eyes grew cold. “What? Didn’t like the way she looked at you, after all those years? Or did you think she would have forgiven you for raping her? For making a public display of her, when she was only trying to help you? I guess that wasn’t enough for you, though. You had to kill her for her crime of feeling some compassion for the runt in school. The blow-job king of Bavaria.”
Revik slammed his head against the wall, hard.
His fingers tightened again, turning white as he fought to squeeze them around the other’s throat. Balidor’s arms remained in his way, refusing him the leverage he would need to close them. Revik strained against those arms, fighting to break their hold, but he couldn’t.
Eventually, he had to relax, and Balidor laughed.
“Truth hurts, does it, Nenz?”
“Fuck you!”
“Did you think it would impress Allie? All of your conquests?”
Revik’s eyes brightened, all at once. “I didn’t mean to show her that shit!”
“Nonsense. You didn’t show Vash and Tarsi any of it. You didn’t torment them with your violent perversions. You must have some control over what you show to whom.”
“No.” He lunged his weight against the wall, fighting again to break the other’s hold, to squeeze his throat. His eyes were brighter now, even past the anger in his face. “I don’t. I didn’t want her to see that. I never fucking wanted that!”
“You’re lying to yourself, runt. What, did you hope to scare her away then, too?”
Seeing the emotions grow confused on Revik’s face, Jon glanced at Dorje.
“Are Vash and Tarsi doing that?” he said, quiet.
Dorje nodded. “They are helping a lot, yes. I went over the plan with them last night. They are feeding some of this to Balidor, too. What he should say.”
Balidor’s voice grew harsh in the other room.
“What happened to Lena, Nenz? Did you kill her, too?”
Revik cried out, slamming him harder against the wall.
“You did, didn’t you? But you already knew that would happen, yes? You knew she’d end up dead before you stuck your cock in her. You just couldn’t control yourself, could you?” Balidor clicked at him in disgust. “Wreg was right. You couldn’t stop, even when you knew it meant others would pay for it. Even when you knew you were risking their lives.”
Revik’s jaw hardened, his eyes bright. “Shut up!”
“Is that what your uncle did to you, runt, depriving you of affection all those years?” Balidor clicked in mock admiration. “I have to hand it to him. It’s brilliant really. He makes you into an affection-needy infant, then punishes everyone else for your lack of self control. Nothing like a little self-loathing to prime a perfect killing machine for the Dreng.”
Revik loosened one of his hands, punching the older seer hard in the face.
As soon as he did, Balidor shoved him, using the wall as leverage as he propelled his whole weight forward behind his hands, his leg hooked in his.
He knocked Revik to the floor––hard.
Landing on his chest in the same forward momentum, he pinned him, then punched him in the face––also hard––hard enough to stun him.
He kept hitting him until Revik began fighting back, twisting out from under him. Wrenching his weight to the side and over, he got enough leverage that they were struggling, side by side, each trying to gain advantage. Revik kicked him, hard, in the shin. He fought to knee him in the crotch, but Balidor punched him in the temple and Revik flinched, protecting his head.
It was enough that Balidor was able to grab his shoulders, slamming his head against the floor, hard enough that Revik cried out.
That time, the blow did daze him.
While he lay there, Balidor managed to pin him, face down, his arms twisted behind his back.
“I told you you’d only remain free as long as you could,” Balidor said.
The organic reconfigured, looping a cuff around one of Revik’s arms, solidifying around one wrist. Revik cried out, struggling, but another had already caught his ankle on the same side. It created a panic in him that Jon recognized, a fear of being caged.
He managed to break free of the seer’s hold, enough to hit Balidor, hard in the face with his unchained hand. He flipped to his back in the same moment, lunging against the two chains that held him, glaring up at the older seer.
“Come on!” he snarled. “Come on!”
Balidor regained his feet, backing off a few paces.
“Not having fun anymore, ‘Dori?” Revik said, lunging against the chains again.
“You’re the one who looks like he’s not having much fun,” Balidor observed, motioning towards his own face.
Mirroring the gesture, Revik touched his mouth, which was bleeding, moving his fingers to his cheek, which had already started to swell. Turning his head, he spat out a mouthful of blood, wiping his lips with his free hand. The expression in his eyes didn’t change.
“Think you can get me to say uncle, ‘Dor?”
“Interesting choice of words, runt.” Balidor smiled. “You need a new uncle, is that it? Just don’t trust yourself without someone holding your leash?”
Revik let out a short laugh, but there was so much pain in it, Jon flinched.
“Gods,” he said, his acce
nt thick. “Why don’t you get a real hobby, ‘Dor? Other than fucking other men’s wives…”
“What happened to Lena, runt? Are you going to tell me?”
“Go fuck yourself.”
Balidor pointed at the chains. “You want to go back to your cage?”
“Go ahead,” Revik said, holding up his shackled wrist. “Finish it. You want to give me a beating… so do it. Why pretend to make things even?”
Balidor clicked softly. “No, Nenz. I think you would like it too much. It’s your comfort zone, isn’t it? Getting beaten down?”
“Gaos! Stop with the headfuck crap!” Revik snapped. “Just shoot me already!”
“Why did you tell Allie to go?”
“I didn’t.” At the other’s amused look, Revik’s eyes darkened in anger. “Maybe it’s just not that complicated, ‘Dor. Maybe I just don’t want her anymore.”
Balidor gave a disbelieving laugh. “Who do you think you are fooling? You’re in so much pain you can barely stand, runt… and it’s been only a week. I can feel you wondering about her even now. It’s like an obsession with you, who she sleeps with when you push her away. Or are you really as worried about her safety as you pretend?”
Revik bit his lip. He seemed about to speak, then looked away, his eyes hard.
“Ah, so maybe there is some of that, too. Is it her you are worried about, though, I wonder? Or your own sorry skin you’d like to protect?”
“You think I’m afraid to die?” Revik stared up at him. When the other seer didn’t answer, he gave a hard laugh, motioning him forward. “Trust me on this, ‘Dor. I honestly don’t give a fuck. Come on. Kill us both. Do the world a favor.”
Straightening, Balidor kicked him in the face, hard.
In the same instant, the chains around Revik’s wrist and ankle retracted. Revik staggered to one side, planting his hands on the floor, then he was on his feet again, backing away from the other seer, his legs taut as he slid back into a fighting stance.
“Why didn’t you kill her, runt?” Balidor said, watching him. “If you want to die so badly, I would think that would be the easy way, yes? You are so good at killing women, after all.”
Revik tensed noticeably, even as that pain touched his expression.
Watching his face, Balidor smiled, but it didn’t touch his gray eyes.
“Come,” he said. “Don’t be modest, brother. You must admit to your expertise in this. Directly or indirectly, you have killed… what? Just about every woman you’ve been involved with for more than a fortnight, yes? Your mother. Your sister. Your friend, Kuchta. Pirna. That human who had you beaten up when you left her… Gretchen. The poor prostitute they tortured for you, probably for years, yes? Gisele. Then there is Lena, who was decent enough to take your virginity. And let’s not forget your first wife, Elise.”
Balidor stood there, his eyes on Revik’s. He threw out his hands, as if in a question.
“Am I missing anyone? Surely there were more, Nenz?”
Revik just stood there, unmoving.
For a moment, Jon thought he’d gone somewhere else, that he’d phased out somehow. His expression looked blank as he held up his hands, his eyes on the floor. His clear irises blurred, as if some part of him had retreated back into the Barrier.
“Is that why you wanted her to go?” Balidor said. “You knew you’d kill her too, eventually, didn’t you? You’d already raped her. Let her get kidnapped by Terian. You let her get tortured, nearly killed. After you picked her up in China, you pretty much treated her like a whore, from what she told me, the whole time you were with her in those mountains.”
Revik stared at him, his eyes lost.
“She told you that?” he said.
Balidor walked closer to him, his face and eyes openly angry. Jon found himself thinking it was less of an act that time. In fact, he wondered if any of the anger was really an act.
“She did.” Balidor paused, staring at him. “Exhibitionism, Nenz? Really? With your wife? Did you let your army fuck her, too? Or just watch?”
Revik stared at him, that confusion still in his eyes.
“Did you have some childish need to make sure everyone knew she was yours?” Balidor said, his voice openly contemptuous. “Or were you just looking for a excuse to see her like a whore, the way you viewed the others? Some way to make her less than your mate, in case she ended up dead? Or did it just turn you on, seeing what she would do for you?”
Revik grabbed the front of his shirt, swinging him around and slamming him against the wall. He held him there, his whole body taut, as if fighting to control himself.
“Watch your fucking mouth,” he growled.
“Why? Have I offended you?”
Tears came to Revik’s eyes, so quickly Jon flinched.
“Don’t fucking talk about her like that!”
Balidor laughed, gripping his wrists. “You can’t be serious! Didn’t you rape her in here the other day? In front of a room full of seers? Oh, and her brother. I’m sure he really appreciated seeing her like that, Nenz. Down on the ground, begging her husband to stop––”
Revik slammed his back against the wall again.
Jon couldn’t take his eyes away from Revik’s face. He seemed to be struggling, fighting to control his expression, maybe even his light. Jon saw that pain on his face again, forcing a tautness to his eyes, tightening his jaw. He glanced at a different monitor, at the image of Tarsi and Vash sitting on the floor behind that wall. Neither of their faces moved.
“What do you want?” Revik said. “What do you want from me?”
“Did you kill Lena, Nenz?”
“Yes.” He spat the word. “You know I did.”
“How did you do it? Did you shoot her, like Pirna?”
Revik’s jaw hardened. He closed his eyes. He shook his head, as if fighting something out of his light.
“My uncle…”
“Yes? He told you to do it, is that it? So what else is new? Do you think that absolves you somehow?”
“He didn’t tell me.”
“He didn’t?”
Revik met his gaze, his eyes bright. His expression hardened, turning into a mask. “I woke up. In the basement. They had her there.”
Balidor met his gaze. After a bare pause, he nodded.
His eyes showed a heavier understanding.
“What about the telekinesis? You were active then, weren’t you?”
“Drugs.”
Balidor nodded again. “So, how long? How long did they torture her before you killed her?”
Revik gasped. Pain flashed across his expression, a lost, angry look. “They didn’t feed her. Beat her. Raped her. For hours every day…”
“How long, Nenz?”
“Two weeks.” He looked at Balidor like he hated him. “Two weeks.”
“Then you what?”
“I strangled her.” His eyes filled with tears. He couldn’t seem to breathe. “She… she asked me to… begged me…”
“So it was missionary work, is that it? You’re a holy man now, Nenz?”
Revik hit him, in the mouth, hard enough that he slammed the older seer’s face into the wall. Balidor turned on him in seconds, his eyes filled with contempt.
“Come on!” Balidor said, shoving back at him. “Stop bullshitting me, Nenzi! It’s not like we don’t know what kind of man you are.”
Revik hit him again, harder.
“You like to kill women. So what?”
Revik picked him up, taking his feet of the floor. He slammed his back and head into the wall so hard it shuddered the window.
Jon looked at the monitor showing their faces, gripping Dorje’s shoulder.
“Jesus. He could kill him,” he muttered.
“No,” Dorje said. “I don’t think so.”
Balidor hung there, gripping the taller seer’s arms.
“You sent her away so you wouldn’t kill her,” Balidor said, breathless, still half off the floor. “Just admit it.”
“Yes,” Revik said.
“You want to kill her. Is that it?” he said, still holding his gaze. “Or are you still afraid of your uncle, even after his death?”
Revik hit him in the stomach, doubling him over. Letting him drop back to the floor, he hit him in the face again, then square in the temple. Balidor threw up his arms, protecting his head, but Revik kept hitting him, kicking him until Balidor grabbed his wrists, pulling him closer.
After a pause, Revik stopped moving.
He stood there, breathing hard, his body still taut. To Jon he looked almost paralyzed. He stared at the floor, his face close to blank.
He was still standing there, when Jon realized he was crying again. Nothing seemed to penetrate his expression, however.
Balidor grabbed his hair, forcing him closer. Anger filled the Adhipan leader’s expression. Words seemed to come out of him unwillingly, even as he met Revik's gaze.
“Nenzi,” he said, his voice harsh. “You were a goddamned child.”
“No.” Revik shook his head, his face blank. “No. Not for all of it.”
“You blame yourself for Lena? I would have done the same, my brother.”
“Not only her. You said it yourself. All of them…”
“You blame yourself for your mother? Your sister?”
Revik closed his eyes, trying to push the other seer away. He didn’t struggle very hard though, and Balidor grabbed his arms, right before he kicked Revik’s legs out from under him.
Both of them ended up on the floor.
Jon flinched when Balidor punched Revik in the face, hard enough to rock his head on his neck. He hit him again, but Revik didn’t fight back. He raised his arms when Balidor hit him a third time, still lying on his back on the floor.
“Don’t let him!” he gasped, when Balidor hit him again.
“Don’t let him?” Balidor gripped the front of his shirt, his voice harsh. “Don’t let who, Nenzi? Your uncle?"
Revik didn’t answer him, shaking his head, his eyes confused.
Balidor hit him again, hard enough that Jon flinched. Dorje touched his hand.
“He’s distracting him, brother,” Dorje murmured. “He’s keeping him from blocking them. So Vash and Tarsi can get at his light––”
Jon nodded. He still winced when Balidor hit him again.
Shadow (Bridge & Sword: Awakenings #4): Bridge & Sword World Page 50