Anchored To Love

by S. M. Stryker

  Sunday, I tell Zain I want to just relax and stay inside. I know he overdid it yesterday, not with just the outings either. He doesn’t know I saw him, but he’s been wincing when he moves quickly or when he stands up. I should have told him no yesterday to his little make believe play, but he was so excited.

  Zain is in his office most of the day with the door closed, and when he comes out on the short occasion, he seems a little stressed or on edge. That is a side of Zain I’ve never seen before. He doesn’t snap at me or take it out on me in any way, I can just tell.

  “Zain, is there anything I can help you with? You’re so quiet. Do you want to talk about it?”

  “I’m sorry, baby, I’ve been trying to get a couple things put together, and it’s taking more time than I thought it would.” He walks over to me, takes my shoulders in his hands, pulls me to him, and kisses the top of my head.

  “Are you sure there’s nothing I can help you with?”

  “No baby, you just being here with me is all I need.” He lifts my chin and kisses me, as I inhale his scent. I’ve missed being around him. He walks back into his office.

  Not knowing what else to do, I decide to fix dinner for us. I look through the refrigerator to see what he has. Claire is usually here, but I told her to take the day off.

  I find chicken breast, mushrooms, Havarti cheese, some asparagus, and salad fixings. Looking through the drawers, I find the meat pounder. I get a frying pan and melt butter in the bottom of it. I pound the chicken breasts so they are equal thickness, season them with a little salt and pepper, dip them in a little flour, and lay them in the pan. In another pan, I add butter and melt it for my mushrooms. I clean and slice my mushrooms and mince some garlic, placing both the mushrooms and garlic in the pan, adding some salt and pepper to season. While those are cooking, I take a pastry sheet and line it with foil. I place my asparagus on the sheet, sprinkle with a little salt, olive oil, some fresh lemon juice, and several cloves of minced garlic. I place it in the oven to start cooking. When the mushrooms are cooked down a little, I add a little white wine. Once my chicken breasts are browned, I set them on a pastry sheet lined with foil. I then layer a slice of Havarti cheese, mushrooms, and then another slice of cheese, and place it in the oven until the cheese melts.

  I set the table, pour some wine into glasses, and turn off the oven. Then I go to get Zain from the office.

  I tap on the door, but he doesn’t answer. I slowly open the door and hear him on the phone. A heated conversation about something that was supposed to be finished this next week, but won’t be completed until Friday. I feel like I’m intruding so I slowly start to back out of the room. He tells the person on the other line to hold on. He looks up at me, saying, “I’m sorry, baby, do you need something?”

  “I was going to tell you that dinner is done.”

  “Okay, give me five minutes and I will be down there.”

  I shut the door behind me. This is so unlike him, it totally throws me off. I don’t know why I am so insecure about our relationship. I go back downstairs to the kitchen. Taking my glass of wine, I sink it. I get the bottle, bring it back to the sofa, and set it on the end table after refilling my glass. I pick my book up and start reading it, but can’t even get through the page. I glance at the time; it’s been an hour. I can’t believe how irritated I am. Maybe I don’t know him as well as I thought I did. As I stand up, I feel the wine hit me since I haven’t eaten all day. I pick up the wine bottle and my glass, taking them over to the kitchen and setting them on the countertop. I pull the chicken and asparagus out of the oven, put them in the sink, and leave everything else out, including the candle that has been burning, and is half-gone.

  I down the rest of my glass of wine. Hum, I drank a whole bottle of wine and I am so on my lips. I quietly walk to my room, take a couple Ibuprofen, strip down to my panties, and crawl into bed. Not the smartest thing to do when I have a baby to care for, but really, what is so important that he couldn’t pull himself away for a few minutes to eat. I fall asleep dreaming of being pregnant again alone.

  I don’t know how long I have been asleep when I hear my door open. Zain crawls into bed with me and starts talking to me about how sorry he is about missing dinner and how excited he is for me to see what he has been doing. I just lie there and ignore him. At this point, I really don’t give a fuck. I am pissed, drunk, and hungry—three things you don’t want any woman to be.

  I wake up to an empty bed, and the smell of coffee and bacon. There is a knock at the door, but I cuddle down into bed again and ignore the knock as if I am still asleep. The door opens and Zain walks in and sets a tray on the nightstand. I know that Jaxon should be up, and I know I have to take care of him, but I just want Zain to leave for work first. My back is to the door and I lie there as still as I can. I feel the bed dip down as he sits on the bed.

  “Are you still mad at me?”

  I don’t say anything, I just lie there thinking, No shit! I can’t even believe he asked that question. He rubs his hand up and down my leg.

  “Come on, Char, I know you’re awake. You never sleep in this late. I’ve already given Jaxon his breakfast, changed him, and put him back down. I brought breakfast for you.”

  How can he be so nice when I am still pissed at him? I just want to scream at him for ignoring me. “You can put it in the sink with last night’s dinner,” I spit out.

  “If that’s what you want, I will do that, but after finding that you drank a whole bottle of wine last night and didn’t eat, I would imagine you need to get some protein in your system.”

  “That wouldn’t have been a problem if you would have come down to eat when you said you were going to.”

  “I know and I’m sorry, but it couldn’t be helped. I have a big project that is running behind.”

  “What was so important that you couldn’t even spend fifteen minutes with me?”

  “I can’t tell you that.”

  “You can’t or you won’t?”

  “Both, but …”

  I cut him off after that statement. “I’m going to go out to look for an apartment today. I don’t think I can do this and be shut out.”

  “Char, please give me to the weekend. You won’t be sorry, please?” He pulls my shoulders so I am now facing him. Tears that were brimming my eyes start to roll down my cheek. “I’m sorry, please let me make it up to you. I don’t want you to leave! Please, Char, just till the weekend. I just had some really important things I needed to make sure they were being taken care of. Please don’t cry, I love you and it hurts me to see you cry.”

  “Zain, I’m not a demanding person, you know that, but yesterday you treated me like I didn’t exist, and that really hurt.”

  He reaches up and wipes away my tears. “I promise I will never do that again, but it couldn’t be helped. What are your plans for the day?”

  “I have a couple of appointments and I’m meeting with Dr. Singer this afternoon.”

  “I am so excited for you, Char! You are going to get your dream come true.”

  “I’m just afraid I won’t be able to handle the schedule, not to mention Jaxon. I feel like I will be abandoning him.”

  “Baby, we’ll figure this all out when we find out what your schedule is like. We will make it work. If you need anything, just let me or Claire know.”

  “I will. I’m going to have Katie watch Jaxon while I’m out. Can she come here?”

  “Of course, tell her to make herself at home.”

  “Thank you, Zain. Now get to work before you’re late.”

  “Not until I know we are good.”

  “We’re good.”

  Zain leans over and kisses me sweetly on the lips. “I love you, Char. Please never forget that.”

  “And I love you, Zain.”

  As he leaves the room, he says over his shoulder, “Make sure you eat. You haven’t been doing a lot of that lately.”

  I need to remember to call Raven to see how things went in Seattle.


  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Zain

  I CAN’T BELIEVE how badly I screwed up last night. Even though I was doing things for Char, she didn’t know that. I have to start looking at things through her eyes.

  I walk through the door of the office. I stopped at the local coffee shop and picked up a coffee for Raven. She looks really happy. “This is for you, and you look very happy. I take it things went well?”

  “I have so much to tell you, oh my gosh! You will die. Lunch?”

  “Of course.”

  “Oh, you need to meet Trent Michaels.”

  “Toby’s friend? The one …” I keep my voice down. “He was in Afghanistan with Toby.”

  She nods her head. “Yes¸ he’s here.”

  “Oregon here, or Stonework’s here?”

  Just as she finishes her sentence, a man approaches us. He is about my height—shit, other than the blue eyes, he could be my brother. Raven turns and smiles. “Trent, this is Carson. Carson, this is Trent Michaels.”

  I reach my hand to him and we shake. “Nice to meet you,” I say.

  “Nice to meet you too. I guess we might be working with each other,” Trent says. “I worked with computers in the Marines, but haven’t done a lot in the past four years or so. I know a lot has changed, but I’m a pretty quick learner.”

  Beckett walks out and reaches his hand out to me. “Carson, how are you feeling?”

  “I’m doing better, still a little sore. I try not to lift anything real heavy on that side, but I’m doing well. I’m real sorry I missed your engagement surprise. Was it what you expected?”

  “And more, she was so surprised. It was real nice. I wish you could have been there too, we missed our hero.”

  “Did I hear something about a hero?” Richard is walking down the hall to the entry of the office.

  “Stop, I just happened to be at the right spot at the right time. Anyone else would have done the same. Besides it was Ms. Raven Hood that saved the day. Shit, hitting the first guy’s hand and literally nailing him to the wall. Now that was amazing. By the way, so I don’t forget, I am having a get together this Saturday. Char doesn’t know about it. It’s a surprise, and I want you to come. In fact, you have to be there for part of the surprise.”

  “Is it at your house?” Raven asks.

  “Yes and no. It is at my house, but not the house I live at now.”

  “Oh my God! You bought a house.”

  “This goes back to the Thursday before our rescue.”

  “You bought Charlie a house?” Raven’s eyes get big and tears start to fill them.

  “Please just say you will be there. I took her to see it this last weekend and she loves it, but she thinks it was just a game we were playing. I will email everyone the address and time. Trent you are more than welcome to come. There will a lot of food, drink, and a lot of surprises, and that invite is obviously also for Harlow and Nicole too.”

  “Thank you, Carson, that I know of, we don’t have plans for the weekend, but I will check with Harlow.”

  “And I will check with Nicole.”

  Both Beckett and Richard turn and walk back to their offices.

  “Thank you, I will look forward to it,” Trent says. “I’m staying with Mitchell for a while until I can get settled so I will just tag with him and Raven.”

  “Do you have plans for lunch?” I ask Trent. “You should join Raven and me. She is going to fill me in on this past weekend.”

  “Thank you. Since I’m new to the area, I don’t have to wander out on my own.”

  “No problem, we go most days to a little diner around the corner.”

  “Sounds good, I look forward to it. Can you show me what exactly you do here?”

  “Of course.” Trent follows me to my office.

  I spend the morning showing Trent what I do and what it looks like when it is completed. The morning goes by quickly and before I know it, Raven is knocking on the door to see if we are ready for lunch.

  We walk to the little café, find a seat, and place our order. “So tell me about seeing your dad, and what happened when he saw your mother.”

  “Oh, my gosh! It was amazing. I think they are going to get married.”

  “Really? They haven’t seen each other in twenty-two years.”

  “I know, isn’t that just crazy?”

  “Well, who am I to talk,” I say.

  Raven looks at me, tilts her head to the side, and looks into my eyes—I mean deep into them. “You’re going to do it.” She starts to bounce in her seat. “You’re going to ask her. You have something else planned.”

  I close my eyes, so she can’t look into them. “Stop, stop doing that.” I open one eye and look at her, as Trent laughs at me. “You are not allowed to look into my eyes until after this weekend.”

  Raven starts to laugh. “You’re no fun.”

  “Tell him about your grandparents,” Trent says.

  “What about them and which ones?” I ask.

  “Well, I don’t know if I will get through the whole thing before we have to head back, but here goes.

  “First we went to meet my dad in a park; Mom was going to stay out of sight until we gave her the go ahead to come over. We found out that Dad had told his parents that I was going to be there. My grandmother knew that if I was coming up to see my dad, I probably found my mother and brought her with us. As soon as we figured it out, Toby tried to call my mother, but she didn’t answer the phone, so we knew she was in trouble. Dad verified that Grandmother’s car was in the parking lot. At that point, we were searching for them.”

  Our lunch comes and Raven is trying to eat and talk at the same time.

  “Mom somehow answered her phone and we were able to hear the conversation. Grandmother had a gun on Mom.”

  “Are you kidding me? She hated your mother that much that she would try and kill her?”

  “I know right. Anyway, Toby heard happy birthday being sung, so we started to look for balloons. The park had a lot of trees around so you can visit or picnic without being disturbed. We were having a hard time seeing anything. Then, miraculously, a balloon floated into the air and we followed it. We were on the other side of a couple large fir trees and could hear my grandmother talking to my mother.”

  “Mrs. Whitehorse, what are you going to do, shoot me in the park?”

  “Ruthie, let her be. This has gone on long enough.”

  “No, she wasn’t supposed to come back. I told her to never come back.”

  “Ruthie, it’s been twenty-two years. Leave her be and put that gun away. You’re not thinking clearly, Ruthie. You’re going to hurt someone and then what are you going to do? This is the mother of your grandchild, the child that ran away to find her mother, the mother that you tricked into leaving her only child.”

  “Before we could stop him, my dad walked out and stood in front of Mom.”

  “Is this true, Mother? Did you threaten her to leave me and Raven?”

  “That’s cool that even after all these years he would stand up for her,” I say.

  “Then Dad tried to get her to put the gun down. Toby told me to call 911, so I stepped away and called. When I had finished the call, I stepped next to Toby to continue to listen.”

  “It’s not like that, Makya. She was going to ruin your life. She was no good for you. She tricked you and got pregnant to trap you. It was better this way.”

  “How was it better, Mother? I loved Michelle, and she loved me. It ripped my heart out when she disappeared and you knew it. Do you really think I am happy now? My only child ran away and God knows what she had to do to survive, and I have lived a loveless life for the last twenty-two years. Would that make you happy, being alone?”

  “But you weren’t alone, Makya, we were here for you.”

  “You know that’s not the same. I longed to hold and love the only woman that I have ever loved and you took her away from me. Put the gun down, Mother.”

  “No, she needs to be
gone for good.”

  “If you shoot her, that bullet will have to go through me first. I wasn’t there to protect her back then, but there is no way in hell that I will allow you to hurt her again.”

  “Then Toby had to be the savior of the day and started to walk to my grandmother and try to convince her to put the gun. He walked out from around the tree, and I was walking behind him.”

  “Mrs. Whitehorse, it’s time to put the gun down now.” She was shaking her head no. “Do you really want to put Raven through more pain? You already took her mother away for most of her life. Do you really hate Raven that much that you would hurt her more?”

  “I ran over and stood beside my mother as Toby slowly walked toward Grandmother.”

  “The police are on the way. If they see a gun in your hands, they will shoot first and ask questions later. Hand me the gun,”

  “He said it so calmly. When she didn’t comply, he raised his voice.”

  “NOW!”

  “I could see her eyes quickly move to Toby’s. You could see his jaw muscle twitching. He held out his hand for the gun. I heard sirens.”

  “I. SAID. NOW!”

  “He accentuated each word. He towered over her. I could see her hands were shaking as she set the gun in his hand and she collapsed to the ground. Toby broke down the gun as the police came over to where we were. I ran over to him and jumped on him, wrapping my legs around his waist. I took his face in my hands.

  “Are you crazy? She had a gun. What do you think I would do if she shot you? My life would end if something happened to you. Thank you for saving my mom, you crazy stupid man.”

  “I pulled his face to mine, kissing him greedily. I pulled away breathless, tears running down my face.”

  “I love you, Toby Mitchell, but how am I supposed to have your babies if you do stupid stuff like that?”

  “You said that to him?”

  She nods as she takes another bite of her sandwich and a sip of her soda.

  “You should have seen the look in his eyes, I totally shocked him. He said, ‘You want to have my babies?’ I said, ‘Of course I do.’ I was still holding his face when I asked, ‘What did you think? Do you not want babies?’”