Just Like That

by Gary D. Schmidt

  She hadn’t known that so much was at stake.

  So Meryl Lee was nervous.

  Heidi said she was acting as nervous as a cat in its eighth life and she was driving her crazy.

  So maybe that is why what happened during the vice-presidential luncheon happened.

  Even though Dr. MacKnockater—sort of with the help of Meryl Lee and Heidi—had planned the schedule for the luncheon to the minute.

  Ashley and Charlotte and Lois Tuthill and Elizabeth Koertge were supposed to meet the vice president when he stepped out of his car. (Ashley said her father had close ties to Mr. Agnew—Mr. Higginson was even on the security detail—so she should be the one to meet him first.) Ashley and Charlotte would together present the vice president with a bouquet of tulips and then escort him into Newell Chapel, where all the girls would be waiting. They would pause at the door until the organ began, and the girls would stand, and while they were singing hails to St. Elene’s, Ashley and Charlotte would process in front of the vice president and so bring him to his seat on the platform, where Mrs. Kellogg and Dr. MacKnockater and Mr. Lloyd C. Allen, head of the St. Elene’s board of trustees, would be waiting.

  While everyone was still standing, Mrs. Kellogg would lead the school in the Pledge of Allegiance. Then Dr. MacKnockater would step forward and read a short but uplifting passage from the classics about the calling of good government. Following that, everyone would sit down.

  Meryl Lee would then rise to introduce the vice president. (Ashley said she should be the one to introduce Vice President Spiro Agnew since he knew her family so well, but Dr. MacKnockater said they would spread the responsibilities among several girls.) Mrs. Kellogg said that Meryl Lee should be sure to look at the vice president before she began. “You must always make eye contact with your guest of honor before and after you introduce him,” she said.

  After Meryl Lee’s introduction, Vice President Agnew would give his address. Following his address, Jennifer and Heidi and Julia Chall and Barbara Rockcastle would follow the vice president down the center aisle and escort him to Sherbourne House for the vice-presidential luncheon with the teachers and the organizing committee. Mrs. Wyss was planning the menu—which meant that everything would be perfect.

  That was the schedule for the vice-presidential luncheon. Planned to the minute.

  What could go wrong?

  Except that three days before the vice president came, Mrs. Connolly, on behalf of St. Elene’s Preparatory Academy for Girls, invited students from St. Giles’s Preparatory Academy for Boys to attend. So on the day, when Meryl Lee came onto the platform to await the vice president’s procession with Ashley and Charlotte, those four boys from St. Giles’s were sitting right on the end of the first aisle.

  The same four boys whose blood was now permanently in the grout between the tiles in the lobby of Greater Hoxne Hall.

  Meryl Lee looked at them.

  She was very glad that Matt had decided to go out with Captain Hurd on the day.

  But that didn’t stop the Disaster.

  The organ began, and everyone stood, and Ashley and Charlotte walked in, followed by Vice President Spiro Agnew holding his bouquet of tulips and smiling and shaking hands with all the teachers and saying something to each one. His Secret Service guys moved behind him—the ones who really do wear dark glasses. The agent right next to the vice president slid beside him like a ghoul, close and looming and long-armed and watchful. Meryl Lee couldn’t take her eyes off his creepy self, even when everyone in Newell Chapel was watching the vice president slowly walking down the aisle, moving back and forth across the long carpet, making his way forward little by little in grand style, his perfect shoes shining, his perfect smile beaming, his hair perfectly parted, his step always a little ahead of the ghoul on his right.

  The vice president reached the platform, slowly stepped up to it, and he shook Mr. Lloyd C. Allen’s hand and he sat down and crossed his legs and got all relaxed as though he’d done this a million times and it was no big deal.

  Then Mrs. Kellogg went off script a little and she said how privileged St. Elene’s was to host the newly inaugurated vice president of the United States and how he had come to the north shore only to visit with the students of St. Elene’s Preparatory Academy for Girls and St. Giles’s Preparatory Academy for Boys and how he had to be back in Washington that evening for a slide presentation by the astronauts of Apollo 8 and she looked toward him and the vice president smiled his big vice-presidential smile.

  Then Mrs. Kellogg stood beside him and put her right hand over her heart. The vice president stood up quickly and put his hand over his heart too. They all pledged allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. And when they finished pledging, Dr. MacKnockater, in Awful Dignity, stepped forward and read from Plato’s Republic.

  In Greek.

  The vice president looked as if he did not understand a single word.

  Then, when the Awful Dignity had finished her Plato and all the girls were sitting in their pews and those on the platform were sitting in their chairs and everyone seemed to be looking at her—especially the ghoul on the vice president’s right—Meryl Lee walked behind the podium.

  She turned toward the seated guest of honor. She looked at the ghoul first, who was smiling.

  Then she looked at the seated guest of honor.

  And that’s when she noticed that the newly inaugurated vice president of the United States of America had his zipper down.

  And a corner of his white shirt was sticking through.

  A very large corner.

  You couldn’t miss that his zipper was down.

  So what was she supposed to do? It’s not like you can lean over to the newly inaugurated vice president of the United States and say, “Hey, your zipper is down,” while the ghoul is smiling at you.

  Then Meryl Lee heard Mr. Lloyd C. Allen cough behind her.

  Meryl Lee looked out across Newell Chapel.

  This is how she was supposed to begin:

  “On behalf of the students at St. Elene’s Preparatory Academy for Girls, I would like to welcome Vice President Spiro Agnew.”

  This is how Meryl Lee began:

  “On behalf of the students at St. Elene’s Preparatory Academy for Girls, I would like to welcome Vice Principal Spiral Agnew.”

  She heard Mr. Lloyd C. Allen cough behind her again.

  But honestly, Spiro was a name almost as weird as Holling, and it wasn’t as if someone else probably hadn’t made the same mistake before, and principal sounded so much like president (didn’t it?), and there was this white corner of the vice president’s shirt showing, and his zipper really needed uplifting.

  And there was this ghoul smiling at her—and it wasn’t a happy smile.

  Then Mrs. Kellogg coughed behind her.

  And suddenly, absolutely everything she was going to say vanished somewhere into space where the Apollo 8 astronauts had been.

  There was a very long silence, and Mrs. Kellogg coughed again.

  So Meryl Lee said how very glad the students of St. Elene’s were to host the vice president when he was so busy during wartimes—except she didn’t say wartimes, she said war crimes.

  Mr. Lloyd C. Allen stood up.

  And then Meryl Lee remembered how she was supposed to end: “Please join me in welcoming Vice President Spiro Agnew,” and she was supposed to start the clapping—except she said, “Please join me in welcoming Vice President Zipper Agnew”—she really said that—and so no one clapped when she started to.

  And she could suddenly hear the vice president behind her, trying to uplift his zipper, but he must have gotten it caught on the very large corner of his white shirt, since when she turned around to make eye contact again, the guest of honor wasn’t smiling anymore and he didn’t seem as relaxed.

  Mr. Lloyd C. Allen wasn’t smiling either.

  The vice president’s address was very short and he stayed carefully behind the podium. He apologized, but he had
to get back to Washington immediately, he said. He regretted that he could not attend the vice-presidential luncheon, but such emergencies were not unusual, only frustrating because he was drawn away from lovely events like this lovely event on the . . . um . . . lovely coast of Massachusetts. “Thank you for having me,” he said.

  He left by the side door, closely surrounded by his big Secret Service guys.

  It all happened in sort of a rush.

  The organ began to play the school song, and the students of St. Elene’s Preparatory Academy for Girls and the St. Giles’s Preparatory Academy for Boys processed out. Meryl Lee turned to join the line of procession, but Mrs. Connolly was standing right nearby, standing with her hands on her hips, looking at Meryl Lee, and it really did not seem that she was listening to the school song at all.

  * * *

  After the vice president’s car had pulled away and was speeding out of St. Elene’s Preparatory Academy for Girls, the ghoul from the Secret Service retinue turned back toward the chapel. He saw the girl who had mangled the vice president’s name scurrying away toward the dormitories.

  He wished for a moment he could have mangled her.

  But then he laughed. Who cared? It was just the vice president. He sort of hoped the name would stick. Zipper Agnew! Really. Zipper Agnew!

  Then he walked around the chapel to meet his daughter by the chapel’s front porch.

  “Dad!” Ashley Higginson called.

  He took her into a hug.

  “How’s my girl?” said the ghoul.

  “Okay,” she said.

  “Just okay?”

  “Better than okay. But I haven’t seen you in a long time.”

  “You know how busy I am, girlie. Merchandise comes in and I have to find a way to move it. It’s not an easy job—especially when some people aren’t as cooperative as they could be.”

  “I get it. You know that girl who introduced the vice president?”

  “Yeah. ‘Zipper Agnew.’ That was great.”

  “She’s not cooperative either. She’s been a problem the whole year.”

  “Who is she?”

  “No one. She’s from Hicksville. Can you believe that? Hicksville.

  She really doesn’t know anyone here so she’s trying to be a big shot. And she hangs around with this guy.”

  “‘This guy’? I thought this was a girls’ school.”

  “So did I. But there’s this new guy who came after Christmas who lives with the Knock and he’s taking classes too.”

  “What’s his name?”

  “Matt something.”

  “Matt?”

  “Did you bring the pearls like you said?”

  “Huh?”

  “The pearls?”

  “Oh, yeah.” He pulled a string from his pocket and dropped them into her hand. Ashley tried to put them on, but she couldn’t get the clasp to work.

  “Matt something, you said?”

  “Yeah. Could you help me with . . .”

  The ghoul smiled and turned to look across the commons. “Bingo,” he said.

  * * *

  The next morning, Dr. MacKnockater sent a note asking Meryl Lee to come to the headmistress’s office after classes. They were to speak about her recent introduction of Vice President Spiro Agnew. There were some concerns, explained the note.

  Meryl Lee figured this meant she was going to be expelled, which in September wouldn’t have been so bad, but now . . .

  Marian said it had been an honest mistake. Meryl Lee wasn’t going to be expelled.

  Heidi said he had his zipper down, for heaven’s sakes. She wasn’t going to be expelled.

  Jennifer said the vice president probably hadn’t even noticed. She wasn’t going to be expelled.

  Charlotte said Dr. MacKnockater probably wanted to congratulate her. Expelling wouldn’t even be on her mind.

  When Ashley, who was wearing a string of pearls, saw her in the hall, she said, “I hear you’re going to be expelled.”

  Meryl Lee thought, Calm spirit, calm spirit, like St. Elene, calm spirit.

  None of this helped.

  That afternoon, when Meryl Lee sat down in front of Robespierre’s desk, Dr. MacKnockater was holding a letter.

  She looked very serious, as if something dreadful beyond belief had happened.

  Meryl Lee wondered how long it would take to pack her suitcase. She wondered if she had kept the two shopping bags.

  “Miss Kowalski,” Dr. MacKnockater said, “this is a letter regarding your introduction of the vice president yesterday. Do you have any idea who has written it?”

  Meryl Lee did. “Mrs. Connolly,” she said.

  “No. It was written by Mr. Lloyd C. Allen on behalf of the entire board of trustees. I have kept Mrs. Connolly’s letter for another time.”

  That did it. Definitely expulsion.

  “The letter uses strong language,” said Dr. MacKnockater. “In fact, some of the strongest language I have ever read in academic correspondence.”

  Meryl Lee felt the anterior and posterior parts of her digestive system begin to collapse.

  “I have to agree with Mr. Allen,” said Dr. MacKnockater, “that mangling the vice president’s name while demoting him to vice principal was impolite. And certainly ascribing war crimes to the gentleman is vexatious.”

  There was a long pause. Meryl Lee closed her eyes. She wondered how many students had been expelled in the history of St. Elene’s Preparatory Academy for Girls. Or had their decapitated heads impaled on the wall.

  “But I must disagree heartily with Mr. Allen when he complains about your reference to the vice president’s attire.”

  And then, this is what happened next: Dr. MacKnockater started to laugh. Really. She started to laugh, and she couldn’t stop, even though she tried. She laughed until she cried, and even then she couldn’t stop laughing.

  When she finally calmed down, Meryl Lee said, “Would you like me to write to Mr. Allen?”

  “I have already done so,” she said, and then she began to laugh again. It took a few more minutes before she could speak. “I told him we would be talking and I was certain you were very sorry for any missteps in the chapel. And I told him you did not intend to poke fun at the vice president or accuse him of war crimes—though, as I suggested to him, someone who leaves his zipper down certainly runs the risk of the first, and someone in an administration that proposes to drop bombs on grass huts may run the risk of the second. But I told him you did not intend this at all and there was no damage done to the goodly reputation of St. Elene’s.”

  Meryl Lee said, “Would you like me to write to the vice president to apologize?”

  “No, no,” Dr. MacKnockater said. “Do not write to”—and she started to laugh again, and she laughed and laughed and laughed until she caught her breath and was able to choke out—“do not write to Vice President Zipper Agnew.” And then she began laughing again, and that was pretty much the end of the meeting.

  Meryl Lee left Sherbourne House, first peering out the doorway for Mrs. Connolly, then hurrying back to Netley.

  * * *

  Late that night in her room, Meryl Lee read about the Good Witch in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and how she kissed Dorothy’s forehead to leave a mark before she sent her off to the Emerald City.

  The Good Witch reminded her of someone, and she set the book down and smiled before she turned out the light to go to sleep.

  * * *

  At almost that same moment, at Mrs. MacKnockater’s house, after Matt had already gone upstairs, Mrs. MacKnockater’s telephone rang just as she was lighting the lamp in the front hall. The annoyed Mrs. MacKnockater answered it—“Dr. MacKnockater,” she said sort of grimly—and then she waited for a long time, hearing absolutely nothing on the other end of the line, but still sensing that someone was there.

  She laid down the phone slowly, looked up the stairs, and then went to check that the doors were locked and the downstairs windows all fastened.

&nb
sp; She left the lights on in the parlor.

  She turned on the porch lights.

  She almost called Captain Hurd, but decided not to.

  Then she climbed the stairs to her room.

  Thirty-Three

  The funeral service for Alethea’s brother WAS held two days after his flag-draped body had been flown home.

  Alethea came back to St. Elene’s two days after that, and she served at Evening Meal. She could hardly bear to look at anyone—even if she had been allowed to. She couldn’t even look at Ashley, who was wearing her pearls to every meal and fingering them so obviously that you almost had to look at them. But Alethea did not.

  But she did look at Meryl Lee, who, before the meal started, stood beside her and said, “Alethea, I am so, so sorry about your brother. I am so sorry.” Then Meryl Lee wrapped Alethea in her arms and held her tightly, and she felt Alethea’s back and shoulders stiffen and harden—at first—and then release. She felt Alethea’s arms tighten around her. And when, after a long time, they leaned back and looked at each other eye to eye, something new had happened, and Alethea held up her hand and wiped the tears from Meryl Lee’s eyes.

  Afterward, Bettye brought Alethea to Netley and to Meryl Lee’s room, and Alethea and then Bettye began to cry. And Meryl Lee too. They cried and cried, holding one another. And Meryl Lee remembered this: she knew, she knew, she knew, the Blank that Alethea had found.

  Meryl Lee wanted to say to Alethea that everything was going to be better.

  She wanted to say to Alethea that her brother had sacrificed himself for all of us, and America was safer, and the world better, because of what he had done.

  She wanted to say to Alethea that her brother’s death was worth it.

  But no matter what words she used, she could not make Alethea’s loss feel worth it. Alethea wanted to have her brother home—and no words could give her that.