Fight Me

by Lacey Black

  “My eyes are up here, Jake.”

  “I know they are. I wasn’t looking at your beautiful eyes, Erin,” I reply with a cocky grin.

  “Obviously.”

  “I’ll see you Saturday night,” I say as I head out into the February air with Brooklyn tucked securely in my arms. Oh, yes. I have plans to see plenty of Miss Erin Anderson on Saturday night.

  Chapter Eight

  Erin

  I arrive at Avery’s house at ten o’clock to meet up with everyone so we can head to her dress fitting. The wedding is in exactly two weeks and there are still tons of final details to wrap up.

  Avery tells us on the ride to St. Charles that the guys got fitted for their tuxes yesterday and planned Maddox’s bachelor party last night. “It’s going to be next Saturday. Same night as mine.”

  “What are you guys doing?” I ask.

  “I won’t tell her,” Holly says with an ornery laugh. “Just be ready at six o’clock, Erin. You won’t want to miss this one!”

  “There better not be any strippers, Holly. I don’t think I’m comfortable with that,” Avery says as she looks at her mom who is driving.

  “Oh, Avery. How often does a girl get to watch hot men strip down to a thong as you stuff dollar bills down their pants?” Mrs. Stevens asks with a big smile on her face.

  “Mother!”

  “Why do you think I told you I wanted to attend your bachelorette party so bad and you had to find someone else to watch Brooklyn for the night? You think I want to miss that?”

  Avery moans with a look of pain on her face. Holly and I can’t help but laugh at the entire situation. I lean over and whisper under my breath so that Avery riding in the passenger seat can’t hear me. “Are there really going to be strippers?”

  She whispers back, “Like I said. You won’t want to miss this one.”

  When we arrive at the bridal boutique, Mrs. Jackson is waiting for us. The employees sweep Avery and Holly away to get them in their dresses. The two moms also head back to try on their mother’s dresses for the wedding, so I wander around the rows and rows of beautiful wedding dresses. White chiffon, ivory lace, beads, and sequins; you name it, it’s here in this huge room just waiting for the bride to come pick that dress and declare it ‘perfect’.

  I’m drawn to a beautiful ivory gown hanging on the mannequin. It has a deep scoop neck, thin spaghetti straps, and satin bodest with a small train that is breathtaking. It’s so simple and elegant. It truly takes my breath away.

  When I was a little girl, I never understood those girls who fantasized about their wedding day to Prince Charming, planning out every detail like it’s happening tomorrow. No, I’d always much rather get lost in a book than a fantasy. Which, I guess if you look at it, that’s what I did too through books, but somehow this just seems different.

  As I touch the soft satiny material of this beautiful gown, I realize it’s the first time I actually stop and consider what it would be like to get married. To have someone to come home to every night; to wake up next to every morning. Someone to fight with and love. I do want that. Desperately. I want the fairytale like in the novels.

  My phone chiming brings me out of my daydream. I pull it out of my purse and look at the screen. Jake.

  What are you doing?

  Instead of typing a reply, I snap a quick picture of the row of dozens of wedding dresses and hit send.

  A few minutes later, he replies. That’s right. I forgot. Which one are you getting? ;)

  His question makes me stop dead in my tracks. Does Jake think I’m here getting a dress? Or scouting out dresses for my future wedding?

  I fire back my reply as quickly as my shaky fingers will type. None.

  I like naked better, too. Let’s go with that.

  I stare at my screen, not really knowing how to reply to him. A few moments later, he replies again.

  Gotta traffic stop. See ya tonight.

  I reply a quick Bye and drop my phone back in my purse like a hot potato. I can’t stop looking at the beautiful ivory gown hanging on the mannequin. And now I’m thinking about Jake. Could I actually be considering a future with Jake? When we’re not fighting with each other, we seem to enjoy our time together. But Jake will never settle down. His sister has told me that. Heck, he has told me that.

  My thoughts are interrupted as Mrs. Stevens comes up behind me. “That’s a beautiful dress, dear. With your complexion and hair coloring, you would look stunning in it.”

  “Oh,” I say, startled when I realize I’m still holding the silky material of the gown in my hand. I drop it and turn to face Jake’s mother. “I was just browsing the dresses while I wait for the bride to come out, Mrs. Stevens.”

  The friendly, warm woman smiles at me. “Elizabeth, please. You know, dear, Jake is a very stubborn boy. He was my most stubborn child which I’m sure comes as no surprise to you. One of these days, he’s going to realize that the best things in life are right in front of you the whole time.”

  Is she talking about me? I furrow my brows in confusion. “Jake and I are just friends, Mrs. – Elizabeth.”

  “Yes, you are. For now. But I saw the way he was looking at you, watching you when you came to Avery’s for dinner the night they moved. Plus, I heard all about that kiss on the patio.”

  My face burns bright red. “Jake and I can barely stand to be in the same place together. We fight about everything.”

  “Sometimes, my dear, fighting with the one you love is better than not fighting at all. Fighting means you have passion and you’re alive. Fighting symbolizes your desire and your lust. Fighting represents love.” She gives me a warm, motherly smile; a smile that I haven’t received from my own mother in so long. “Plus, the making up afterwards makes the fights that much better,” she adds with a wink as she turns and walks towards Avery who is walking out in her beautiful wedding gown.

  For the first time in my life, I wonder if Jake and I actually have a chance at making something work between us. Could I fall in love with Jake Stevens? I’m afraid that the answer is already a yes.

  *****

  Jake pulls in after nine-thirty. His golden blond hair is still damp from the shower he must have taken before he came over. I notice it is spitting snow as I open the door for him.

  “Come on. Grab your coat,” he says when I open the door for him.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Let’s go.”

  “Ummm, how about you ask me instead of demand it?”

  He sighs dramatically as he rephrases his statement. “Erin, I have a little surprise for you. Will you please grab your coat and come with me for a little bit?”

  “Yes,” I say matter-of-factly as I reach into the hall closet and grab a winter coat.

  “Let’s go. We don’t have much time.” Well, so much for polite and ‘asking’.

  “Where are we going?” I ask as I slide into his truck.

  “The Ice Cream parlor opened today. I thought we’d go get an ice cream before they close for the night.”

  “But it’s like thirty degrees outside. And it’s snowing.”

  “I know,” he replies and concentrates on getting us to the ice cream parlor before it closes at ten.

  When we pull into the drive-thru, Jake asks “What do you want?” before rolling down his window.

  “Hot fudge sundae, please.”

  When the young girl opens the window in her winter coat, Jake orders two hot fudge sundaes. I try to pull some money from my purse, but Jake holds up his hand. “I invited you to this surprise, I am paying.”

  “Thank you,” I say as I take the first sundae handed to us through the window.

  “You’re welcome.” Jake throws the truck in drive and heads out of town.

  “Where are we going?”

  “I thought we’d watch the snow fall at the river and enjoy our ice cream.”

  “Oh, the river. I haven’t been there in twenty years. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been there.”

&
nbsp; “You’ve never been to the river? How is that possible?”

  “Well, when we arrived in Rivers Edge, I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere by myself yet until my parents felt a little more comfortable. Then, it turned cold fast. And I was gone in March so I didn’t get to enjoy the summer months at the river that everyone talked about.”

  Jake pulls into the long lane that runs parallel to the snow and ice covered Missouri river. This part of the river is much shallower and narrower than the majestic Missouri river. It’s quiet and peaceful here.

  Jake shuts off the truck as we dive into our sundaes. “So, can I ask you something?”

  “I guess.”

  “Why did you leave so quickly in seventh grade?”

  The question makes my heart stop beating. My mind wanders back to those last couple of humiliating days before I left Rivers Edge. I don’t want to discuss this with him. I don’t want him to know exactly how much he affected me all those years ago.

  I shrug and scoop another spoonful of the cold dessert.

  “Don’t do that,” he says with authority in his voice.

  “Do what?”

  “Don’t act like it’s nothing. I asked. I want to know. Remember our date? You promised me you’d tell me the truth when I ask you a question.”

  “I just don’t think that it’s wise drudging up the past, Jake. It’s done. Over.”

  “I want to hear your side of it. I want to hear it from you.”

  I sigh deeply and return my focus on my ice cream. I hate confrontation and the thought of having this conversation with Jake right now turns the ice cream in my stomach sour.

  “Erin,” he says softly with a little pleading in his voice.

  “I just needed to get away, Jake. The thought that everyone at school knew my secrets, my thoughts, hurt me. I wanted to be invisible and when you showed everyone my journal, you took that away from me. I was the girl who whined about her parents. The girl who cried herself to sleep at the thought of having to pick up and move one more time. The girl who had the biggest crush on the boy that every girl in school had a crush on. The girl who watched her entire life unravel before her eyes and couldn’t do a thing to stop it.” I stare straight out into the night sky. There’s no lights out here, no traffic, no sound. Just Jake and me and the river.

  “Why did you leave? Why didn’t you stay in Rivers Edge with your parents?”

  “Because the thought of seeing you every day was more than I could handle. I couldn’t stand to look at you and pretend that what you did didn’t hurt and destroy me. That journal was all I had, Jake. It contained my thoughts and my dreams. I shared everything within those pages and you took it and shared it with everyone at school. I didn’t want to see your face and be reminded of how you betrayed me.”

  Jake remains quiet but I can feel his eyes burn into the side of my face. I don’t want to look at him, but curiosity eventually gets the better of me.

  “Where did you go?” he asks, his voice small and ashamed.

  “I went to Jackson, Mississippi to live with my grandma. It was actually for the best. My grandma was able to convince my parents to just let me stay there with her to finish out my school years. Finally, I had a home. A real home. I didn’t have to move around anymore. I was finally happy. I met a group of friends that I actually got to spend more than a few months with before I had to leave. I graduated with friends. When I went to college, I was able to remain living with my grandma. I actually stayed with her until last year. I always planned to move into my own place but my grandma just got weaker and weaker as the years went on. I was afraid to leave so I stayed. She died last spring. After that, I was ready to get out of Jackson and start my own roots somewhere else.”

  “Why Rivers Edge?”

  “A classmate that we went to school with reconnected with me a few years back on Facebook. In one of our many conversations, she mentioned that Mrs. Masterson was planning on retiring and that the City was going to search for a new librarian. I applied. They offered. I accepted.”

  Jake is quiet again for a few moments before he starts up his truck and drives back the way we came. I feel raw and emotional after our conversation so the fact that he’s taking me back home is welcomed.

  We don’t speak the entire ride back to my place. I still hold the melted bowl of ice cream in my hand when he pulls into my driveway and parks behind my Bug. I have no idea what he’s thinking. I’m sure he’s just dying to get this crazy, overly emotional girl out of his truck.

  “Well, thank you for the ice cream. I guess I’ll see you around,” I say as I turn towards the door to hop out.

  “Wait.” Jake says. The snow is coming down hard now and it’s hard to see my front steps. “Please don’t go.” Jake’s voice is raw with emotion. He sounds almost pained. I don’t want to turn and see his face. I know that if I turn around, I might actually believe whatever it is he is about to say. “Please look at me, Erin.”

  I take a deep breath and slowly turn around, steeling myself for the reaction I know is coming. When my eyes lock on his, I can’t fight the tears that spring in my eyes. His eyes are so full of pain and hurt. It’s too much. I need to get out of this truck.

  “I need to go inside.”

  “Erin, I’m…I’m so fucking sorry for what I did back then. I have no excuse for why I did it. I was just a stupid kid who was trying to get a rise out of you; trying to get you to notice me.”

  “Notice you? Why would you want me to notice you?”

  “I wasn’t lying at dinner that night when I told you I was trying to get your attention. I liked you.”

  “So you humiliated me and embarrassed me? Why? So I’d like you? Do you have any idea how messed up that is, Jake?”

  “I didn’t say it was logical. I was a kid. A kid who was used to getting exactly what he wanted, when he wanted it. I went about it the wrong way. I’m sorry.”

  “Well, you’re sorry. Great. Thank you.” I turn and open my door. “I’m going inside. Thank you for the ice cream, again. Have a great life.”

  “Wait!” he yells as he whips open his truck door and meets me around the front of the truck.

  “What, Jake? You’ve apologized. You don’t have to be nice to me anymore just to make yourself feel less guilt. I forgive you. You’re free.” I blink rapidly in the falling snow. It’s hitting and melting on my face, my hair, my coat.

  “Is that why you think I’ve been nice to you? I’ve been hanging out with you because I’ve felt guilty for what happened twenty years ago?”

  “Isn’t it?” I quip.

  “No!”

  I turn to walk towards my house, but Jake grabs my arm and spins me back around. My body crashes into his like it’s being slammed into a brick wall. He’s a foot taller than me so my face basically hits him straight in the pecs. “I’m tired, Jake. I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”

  “I don’t want to fight with you either, Erin.” Jake strokes his thumb up and down my numb cheeks. His fingers feel warm against the frostiness of my exposed skin.

  “Then what do you want?” I ask, my eyes pleading with him. For what, I’m not sure.

  “I want…I just want…you,” he whispers the last word as his full lips descend onto mine.

  When our lips lock, it’s like an explosion of feelings. Heat spreads through my entire body. I feel slightly lightheaded like I’m starving for oxygen. I feel desire and longing. And I can feel all the exact same in Jake’s kiss. He kisses me like he’s starving and longing and scared all at the same time. This kiss says everything.

  The February air is cold and the snow is wet, but I don’t really feel it anymore. I’m lost in a different world, like I’m on the outside looking in. All I feel is Jake. His lips. His tongue. His body pressed hard against mine.

  Jake’s hands dive into my hair, holding my head as he devours my mouth with his own. I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling myself tightly against him. I feel all of the hardness of his body. His hard chest
and stomach. His very large hard-on through his pants. Knowing that he wants this as much as I do, that I’ve brought him to this crazy, almost out of control place, is an intoxicating feeling. His back muscles jump as I snake my hands under his shirt to get a feel of his bare, warm skin. I want to touch him - I need to touch him - everywhere.

  Jake pulls away from my swollen lips just long enough to ask the question I’ve been waiting to hear. “Can I come inside?”

  “Yes,” I whisper. But, my body is anything but whispering. It’s screaming and shouting at the top of its lungs, begging for him to go inside with me. Everything about him makes me want to scream.

  Jake lets out the breath that I didn’t realize he was holding and kisses me one more time. Then he drops his hands from my hair and grabs my hand, pulling me up my walkway, up the stairs, and towards my front door. My hands shake as I pull my keys from my purse and slide them in the lock.

  Once the door is open and we’re inside the foyer, Jake spins me around and presses me against my closet door. His large frame is essentially holding me captive against the door and I could care less. I want him to possess me, captivate me, consume me.

  Jake runs his large hands down my back to my butt and lifts me up, bringing me face to face with him. I wrap my legs around his large body as he devours my lips again. There’s a frenzy in the kiss like we’re both rushing to get to the finish line because going any slower might just kill us both. Our tongues are dueling, our lips sucking, our hands exploring.

  “You’re wearing entirely too much clothing, darlin’,” Jake mumbles against my open lips. “And besides, as much as I want to, I’m not taking you against the wall right now.”

  “You’re not?” I ask completely breathless and panting.

  “Not for our first time,” he says with that half smile that I love. “Come on,” Jake says as he removes my coat and then his and throws them on the bench by the front door. “I have big plans for you and me tonight.”

  “You do? And what might those be?” I ask, a shy smile spreading across my face.