"It wasn't your fault either. Can I explain later?"
"Of course you can. Just don't do that to me again, okay? I can't take seeing you like that."
"Done. Later, I promise."
When I looked over at the brothers and Heather, they had moved on already. I’m not sure what they were talking about, but I know it wasn’t us. I screamed over at them, "I am seriously in need of a shot, now! Anybody else in?"
That got their attention. Heads flew in my direction. Simultaneously they all said, "Yes." Easy enough. A waitress came over and I went a little crazy with the order. Six shots apiece. That makes thirty six shots that poor woman had to carry over. At that point, I didn’t care if she found four different girls to help her. I needed this night to turn out to be fun. And I was on a mission to accomplish it.
Two girls came back with the trays of shots. We lined them up two rows of three apiece. Cherry vodka was an easy one to take. I did not want to kill anyone with Goldschlager or something else that strong. On the count of three we were doing one row.
"One, two, three!" Each one went down easier than the last. Mike was the last one to finish but that was because people around us had camera phones and he didn’t want to look bad on film. The buzz was kicking in minutes later. Thank God. Tony came over to me and sat down in the open chair to my right. I smiled but he didn’t.
"Sadie, you will tell what that was about later. Whatever you just went through was not because of Ash. I have seen girls act like that before. It’s always because some asshole they claim is their boyfriend is beating the shit out of them behind closed doors. Or worse, the girl we grew up with next door had a dad that loved to hit her. Regardless, I know what I saw and you are going to tell me what mother fucker I am going to kill when this trip is over."
"Tony, I love you so much for caring about me, but I'm fine. Truly I am. I promise to explain it all later."
"I will always care about you and I am going to hold you to that promise. Now, enough of that, let’s go dance!"
"Absolutely"
He took my hand and led me to the dance floor. Tony was another one of those guys that think they have rhythm but really don’t. I will always give him an A for effort, plus it is just fun to watch. Soon, Heather pulled Jason out on the dance floor and it was a little brother like big brother scenario. Jason was worse than Tony. I wondered if Tony tried teaching him as a child. That thought brought a laugh out of me that no one around understood. I did not care. We were having a blast. Not long after, I felt hands on my hips and I knew exactly who it was. The way his body moved took me over. I backed up grinding into his body loving the feel of him next to me. We danced together until sweat was pouring off me. I asked Ash if he wanted to go get a drink and he agreed. Tony found another victim and was not ready to stop dancing. Heather and Jason were making out and I didn’t even want to interrupt that one to ask them. Ash and I found Mike still upstairs signing autographs. I walked over to him and asked if he wanted a little help to catch a break. He loves the attention, so it was a pointless offer. We sat back down in our area and drank another shot and chased it with beer. Ash went over to the couch and asked me to join him. I laid across it snuggling up next to him. I knew it was not the time but I needed him to understand a little better what happened.
"Ash, I was with an abusive boyfriend in high school. I put up with way too much and what happened a while ago was just something stupid I processed the wrong way. It was nothing you did, understand?"
"Sadie" he began to run his hand up and down my arm, "I knew I didn’t do anything wrong. I just didn't know what happened to you, so how could I understand? I hate that you went through something like that, you know. But you will always be safe with me, always. I will never let anything ever happen to you."
"I know, Ash. I'm sorry and I promise that will never happen again."
"You never have to be sorry for something like that, Sadie. I'm just glad you are strong enough to deal with it."
Something about what he just said hit me. I am strong enough. To think back to the time I confessed all of this to Colt. I was still so broken. I really have come a long way if I can openly talk about this without getting upset. Colt was right. It really was starting to just become a story I could tell and it feels amazing.
Tony, Jason and Heather came back upstairs and Mike finally got his fill of fans. We all joked around and laughed some more. I called Heather over to the stair rail so we could see the dance floor. I hate to say it but people watching and making fun of them is just one of mine and Heather’s favorite things to do. Sometimes it is just too easy. We were laughing pretty hard at one point when a guy dropped a girl. Now that one I was laughing at myself about. I remember when Ash dropped me and it was humiliating. Heather called my attention to something else. I was so preoccupied with the dance floor that it took me a couple seconds to figure out what she was trying to say. Eventually it clicked. I turned around and saw a girl attempting to straddle Ash's lap. I looked at Heather and said, "See, this is what I'm talking about." I turned back around to watch the dance floor again but that wasn’t good enough for Heather.
"Sadie, you are all kinds of messed up if now is when you decide not to freak out."
I just looked back at her and said, "I trust him."
"You're cuckoo for cocoa puffs, girlfriend. It's not about trusting him, it's about pulling that skank off of him."
"We've already had enough drama tonight, Heather, don't you think? He's a big boy, he can take care of himself. And I can't imagine girls aren't going to find him attractive since I think he's sexy as hell. I know he's mine, and that's all that matters."
"You're a stronger woman than me, Sadie Warren."
And there was that word again, strong. I loved the fact that that word and me had something in common now.
"I somehow doubt that but I'm certainly getting there."
Arms wrapped around my waist and I knew that man from anyone.
"Hey there sexy, what are you ladies doing?"
"Laughing at the people down there, you want to join us?"
"Hell yeah."
And that was it. No need to hash over what that girl was doing. I knew Ash was mine and I was his. That's all that matters. The rest of the night at that bar was a blast. Mike ended up joining us and we laughed hysterically at all the females still trying their hardest to get a chance with him. Tony even brought in a girl and she was kind of cute. I was impressed and very glad to see that he found someone to have a good time with that night. Neither brother brought a girl home with them but they had fun, that’s all that matters. When we finally got back to the house, we were all exhausted. From the drive down here, to the partying, it was time for everybody to go to sleep knowing we had a long day ahead of us. I curled up in bed next to Ash and just as we were about to fall asleep I said, "Do you want to know what happened between me and him?"
"I think I understand enough, Sadie. But honey, if you need to tell the story, I will always be here for you to have someone who will listen. What I really want is a name. But I won't force you to tell me. Right now, all you need to know is that I love you exactly the way you are."
"I love you too, Ash"
We fell asleep shortly thereafter and my dreams were nothing but bliss.
CHAPTER 43
The next morning was interesting. We all had been so excited to come here, yet not one of us thought it was important to discuss who could drive a boat. The guys were arguing back and forth while Heather and I sat back quietly. She knew I grew up going to my grandparents’ house. They still live on a private lake and my dad taught me young how to drive. It was funny how the guys, who didn’t have a clue how to operate a boat, were all saying that it was going to be them driving it. Heather and I devised a plan and snuck out with Mike’s car keys without any of them knowing it. Navigation led us to the closest boat rental marine dock. I used my credit card for the security deposit and Heather drove Mike's car back while I brought the boat to the house. S
he was waiting next to the dock when I pulled up and she helped me get all the buoys out and park. When we walked back into the house, the boys were still going at it. Unbelievable was the word that came to mind. We had been gone over an hour, and they still had not stopped. Eventually I cleared my throat and they shut up long enough to look at me.
"If you guys are done already, I would like to get out on the water sometime today."
Tony looked at me and said "Sadie, we still have to figure out how we are going to do that."
That was when Heather piped in with, "Sadie and I already took care of that. Now let’s go."
A stream of, "What are you talking about?" "What do you mean?" "What did you do?" and so forth came from all of them.
"I know that devious smile means it's you, Sadie. Did you do what I think you did?" Ash knows me well.
"Look out back and see for yourself."
The boys ran at one time to the back deck to see the thirty five foot Baja I rented. Then the "Oh my God", "You really did that" and "You guys are awesome" came next. The one comment that didn’t surprise me in the least came from Mike.
"There is no way I'm riding around with a girl driving."
"How about I teach all of you in a back cove so you will never have to deal with a girl driving you again?"
That seemed to shut him up. All the coolers got packed and carried down to the dock to be loaded into the boat. Once we were all in and everything was secured, I started to back the boat out. Ash came up beside me and said, "You have never looked so sexy."
"Then I really need to work on that. I was hoping being laid out on your bed completely naked would trump me driving a boat."
"Well, since you put it that way, of course I have to say I'd rather have you naked than driving this boat. Sadie, I think I just discovered my new fantasy."
"Do you want to remove my suit or would you like me to?"
"Don't tempt me, chick. If it was just the two of us out here, it would already be off."
Apparently everyone heard us and Tony said, "Please stop. You’re making me sick."
I knew what he was talking about but I had to play around a little with him. "The water isn’t that choppy, but if you’re sea sick already, we can go back and I can drop you off at the house?"
Everyone started laughing. Ash went back to sitting down, I’m sure due to slight embarrassment. I giggled at that as well. Someday soon he would understand the banter between all of us. I pulled us out of the main channel and then I cut the engine.
"Alright boys, this is going to be really easy, so who wants to go first?" Mike, of course, jumped up in front of everyone.
"In fact, why don’t all of you guys come up and watch me demonstrate how to do this, and then you guys can take turns doing it yourselves."
They all came around me and watched carefully as I went over the depth finder, the point of a buoy and finally the mechanics of forward, reverse and kill the engine. They all seemed to comprehend it pretty well. In fact, every one of them during their turn did fantastic. We toured around on the main channel, but we were far enough away that there weren’t a lot of boats to deal with. Jason spoke up after a while about him hearing some people talk last night of a place called the Party Cove. We were all down to find it and participate. I knew from renting the boat earlier, that mile markers went down the more south we went. With that information, it made it easier to find than I thought. Once we started getting closer, the traffic became crazy. Mike was of course driving, but soon he was handing it back to me with no problem. The sizes of the boats on this lake were insane. Speed boats, house boats, there was everything you could think of out there. I felt so happy that I didn’t go with a smaller boat or a pontoon. We would have capsized or sank. I followed the rest of the traffic around the last turn and I believe every one of our mouths fell open. The entire cove was nothing but row after row of boats tied off together. Hundreds of boats! We all started hooting and hollering at just the idea of how much fun this was going to be. I went around the front and idled to the back end. We pulled up and tied ourselves off.
It was impossible to describe. People just walked from boat to boat. In the amount of time it took to tie off and look, another four boats had tied onto ours. Heather and I had made some Jell-O shots before we left and it sounded like the perfect thing to start this day off. Mike and Ash decided they were diving in the water to cool off before I got a chance to tell them what I suspected. Jason and Tony were next. The four boys were so cute to watch. At one point Jason screamed for Heather to join him.
"Not a chance in hell."
I completely agreed with her. There was no way. You couldn’t even pay me to get in that water. I was laughing at Jason because he wouldn’t give up. I was about to tell them why, when all of a sudden Ash’s wet arms wrapped around me. He grabbed on to me tight and dove backwards into the water. I was screaming "NO!" the whole way until we hit. I made sure to close my mouth and pinch my nose. When I came up for air I was so grossed out I could puke. None of the guys understood why I was acting so wimpy. I got back on the boat, grabbed a towel, leaned over the side and said, "Where do you think all of these people pee and shit?"
Their faces were priceless. Each one looked at the other. Eventually Mike said, "Well, we are already submerged in it, and we aren’t the only ones. Fuck it, I'm having fun no matter what."
How stupid can men be? They all stayed in! Heather and I decided we were going boat hopping.
No one treated you like a stranger. It was like everyone was old friends. Six boats down there was a house boat. The people were older, but partiers just the same. They offered us drinks and barbeque. Too bad the boys wanted to swim in the nasty water. Four more boats down we ran into something neither of us wanted to see or experience. The boys that we left in the water apparently swam up the alley between the row of boats and climbed onto another house boat. Only this particular one was occupied by topless college girls. I can't blame them. If I was a dude, I would want to be there also. But I’m not, and my man is currently in the arms of one of those topless college girls. He looks like a model between the board shorts riding low and the eight pack he has. His chest and arms are swollen with muscles, add to that his perfect face, killer tan and spiked hair. He is every girl’s wet dream come true. I know he’s definitely mine in every way. I stop Heather from advancing when I see Jason is in the same position as Ash. So are Mike and Tony the more attention I pay. She didn’t accept my hold on her and brushed past me in a hurry, knowing I was keeping her from something she wouldn’t want to see.
"Jason Harrison! You asshole. What the fuck do you think you’re doing?"
All eyes turned to Heather and all the girls immediately fell off the guys. I stood back and let Heather have the floor.
"Have you lost your mind?" She was getting closer by the second. Before I knew it, she was in front of a very scared fighter. I know, right? Who would have thought? I could hear Jason trying to back pedal when my attention went to Ash. He was standing there with his hands in the air like he was being held at gun point. Mike and Tony had already grabbed their girls, so they could get back to where they were when we interrupted them. I stayed where I was. There was no way I was going to him. He knew my stance was firm. Ash slowly started toward me with his hands still raised. I stood still. He finally was in front of me but I waited for him to speak.
"I can explain."
I just tilted my head waiting for more.
"I uh, um, uh, I was um, uh, I swear I wasn't going to do anything with her. She just, um."
"Ash, shut up."
He knew he was screwed. He closed his mouth and looked at me like a sad puppy dog. I gave him a peck on the lips and said, "You see something you like more than me?"
"Not even close."
"Good, now let’s go have fun."
He grabbed my hand and we walked over the tramp mobile and onto the next boat, then five after that one. We eventually found a group about our age that rented a party boat f
or the weekend. They were from Missouri State University. Some school about an hour and a half from where we were. Most were in the Master’s program which put them a little older than the 19 year old nasty chicks back there. Ash had made conversation with one of the guys about firefighting. It was something he didn’t talk a lot to me about. I always asked, but he said between school and volunteering he needed to think of something else for a while, and I was the best distraction he had. Listening now, I got to hear about a car fire he helped with and a family he kept comfortable while they lost their home. It was amazing to me that he had this whole life outside of us, but I hated that I was kept from it.
"Ash?"
"Yeah, princess?"
"Why don't you ever tell me these stories? I would love to hear them."
"Truthfully?"
"Of course."
"I don't want you to worry. It’s a dangerous job, Sadie. I love it but I would hate to worry you so much that I would change my mind."
"Change your mind about what? Us?"
"Not us. The job."
"Ash, I would never ask you to do that. You know that, right?"
He turned it around in my head. “What if it were you? Doing something that could cost me you. I would hate every minute of it."
"But would you ask me to quit?"
"Never."
"Then go with that for me also. I will support you no matter what."
"Okay. I will start. I promise."
"Good, now I am ready for another drink!"
‘Luck have it’ the name of the boat that we wanted to go to next, was across the water. Our row was not connected by boat at all. Do you know what that means people? The water, the nasty ass water. I had been lucky enough to find boats with bathrooms on board and avoid the water completely but my luck had run out. Ash held my hand and as we jumped, he kind of pulled me to make sure I was going to do it. I swam faster than I ever have in my life. If it had been declared a race from the beginning, I would have rubbed it in Ash's face. He eventually reached the ladder and climbed aboard. We walked hand in hand around the side and to the front where the party was. The last thing I expected to see were my friends standing there. With all of them accounted for, do you know what that means? One guess? Heather got in the water too! The biggest germaphobe I know got in that nasty ass water. I had to find out how they got her to do it. I pulled Ash with me over to them.
Finding Solace Page 34