by Leigh, Mara
I opened my eyes, but Jade’s were still turned away.
I wanted her to open them again, to look at me.
Looking into her eyes with my dick deep inside her, it felt like I’d known her forever, like I’d been lost and she’d found me. Like I never wanted to let her go.
Hoping she’d open her eyes, I slowed my pace even more, wanting to prolong this as long as I could, never wanting my cock to leave her body again.
“Look at me,” I said, my voice hoarse.
Her eyes snapped open and she turned them toward me.
Something was wrong.
“Not like this,” she said harshly.
“Then how, baby? Tell me what to do. I’ll do whatever you want.” I pulled almost out, but thrust hard, unable to control my hips.
She gasped as I hit home, clenching around me. So fucking hot.
“From behind,” she said. “Pound me from behind.”
I was loving the face-to-face action—but maybe she couldn’t come this way, and I wanted more than life to give her what she wanted. To give her every orgasm in the universe.
As I lowered her feet to the floor, I went in for a kiss, but she turned quickly away and my lips made contact with her ear. Bracing her arms against the wall, she arched and presented her ass. My dick longed to be buried inside her again, but I had to be patient. I wanted to make this last.
I wanted to make her come again. Make her come so hard she’d shatter in my arms.
I explored her body, caressing her tits, her ass, marveling at how strong she was, yet so soft. Even though she was small—more than a foot shorter than me—fucking Jade didn’t feel like I’d break her. Some women found my size painful, but Jade seemed to enjoy my cock. She was perfect.
“Stop it.” She squirmed against my caresses. “Just fuck me.”
“I want to make you feel good.” I traced my hands over her ribs and down to her hips, then back up, brushing over those taut, juicy tits, teasing their hard points, scissoring the nipples between my fingers and loving how it changed her breathing, made her ass twist.
“Fuck me,” she said, her voice tight. “Just fuck me. Fuck me hard.”
Taking her hips, I pushed into her slowly, and as I did, all the air rushed out of my lungs. It had been only a few minutes since I’d been buried inside her, but already I’d forgotten how fucking good she felt. It was like discovering her pussy all over again.
Playing with one of her tits, I pulled her torso gently up to straighten her body, nudging her back toward my chest. I spread my legs and bent my knees to take her now she was standing, and the change in angle squeezed different muscles inside her, making my cock sing out with pleasure.
“Baby, you feel so good.”
Using my other hand, I cupped her face, turned her head and kissed her. Her lips seemed resistant at first, like she was distracted, but an audible sigh emerged from low in her belly, and our kiss deepened.
She melted in my arms while her insides gripped my dick even harder.
My arms wrapped around to support her now pliant body, and staying deep inside her, I pulsed with small strokes, desperate to create some friction but not wanting to thrust too hard. After the way we’d started, she could be raw or bruised, plus I wanted to last.
Her body tensed and she broke our kiss, turning her face toward the wall.
I needed to see into her eyes. Pulling out, I went in for another kiss, but she stopped me.
“Didn’t you hear me? I want you to fuck me—hard.” She turned toward me, grabbed my shoulders and jumped.
I caught her by the ass. She reached down to position me between her slippery wetness, then she forced herself forward, her legs wrapping around my body and pulling me in deep.
Using her heels on my ass for leverage, she pumped herself on my dick, and it was all I could do to hold her, to keep her from bouncing right off me. There was a frantic urgency in her eyes.
I didn’t understand this woman—not yet—but Jade was wild, and I loved it. Fuck, how I loved it.
I braced her against the wall so I could do more of the work.
“Harder!” she cried out. “Faster!”
Against my better judgment, my body obeyed her commands, my hips like a machine as I crushed her small body between mine and the wall. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I pounded and drove, thrusting harder than I thought possible, faster than I knew I could. I was so close to coming. Too close.
I forced myself to slow down.
She opened her eyes and looked into mine.
I brushed hair off her sweat-soaked face. “Jade. Fuck. You take my breath away.” I finally understood what people meant by that saying.
Her expression softened, and she drew in a ragged breath. Looking into my eyes, I felt sure she was seeing me. Really seeing me. Seeing everything I was, everything I wanted to be, and I’d never felt so connected.
I slid in and out of her, pushing deep, but slowly, using the wall for leverage to get every part of me that I could inside her, digging myself in so far I might never find my way out. And that’s what I wanted. I wanted to lose myself inside her, I wanted to leave myself in places she’d feel forever.
A crease formed between her eyebrows. She frowned, and the expression in her eyes completely changed in an instant.
Wha?
Her fists pounded on my shoulders. “Stop it. Let me down. Let me down, you asshole. Stop it. This isn’t—this isn’t what I wanted.”
Pulling out, I let her feet drop.
Not knowing what to do, I held her against me.
“I’m too big. I was too rough.” I stroked her hair, her back. “I hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
She pushed away, breaking my hold. “No. That’s not it. That’s not it at all.” Pushing away from me, she grabbed the bra of her uniform from the top of the bar and searched for her shorts.
“Then what?” My heart was pounding so hard. Pounding and starting to break. I had to fix this.
She found her shorts and headed toward the kitchen.
“Jade!” I grabbed my jeans. “What did I do?” And how can I fix it? I followed her into the kitchen, where she grabbed her small backpack.
“I need to get dressed,” she snapped. “You mind?”
Tipping my head to the side, I tried to figure out if this was her idea of a joke, but we’d joked around lots, and this didn’t feel the same—at all.
“Tell me!” I leaned onto the stainless-steel counter. “What’s going on?”
She pulled jeans and a T-shirt out of her pack and started to dress, needing to shimmy and jump to get the denim to slide over her sweat-dampened body.
My dick had calmed down, and after getting rid of the condom, I eased myself into my jeans, leaving the fly open and the waist riding low on my hips.
Pulling her T-shirt on over her head, Jade left the kitchen, pushing the door so hard it swung back fully into the room. What the hell was wrong?
Anger took over from my fear that I’d hurt her. I deserved an explanation.
I pushed open the door and went into the hall. She was standing near the back entrance.
“You’re the one who said to go harder. If I hurt you”—I shook my head—“I’m sorry for that, but I was only doing what you asked. I don’t get why you’re so pissed off.”
“That’s not why I’m pissed.” Her cheeks were bright red.
“Then what is it?” I walked down the hall, but her body language was on a stay-the-fuck-away-from-me setting. It was like she was trying to blend into the metal door behind her, like she was afraid of me, like she wanted to put miles between us. I stopped a few feet away.
She turned her face to the side. “Can we just go home? Please? I’m tired.”
“What the fuck, Jade? I thought we were having a good time. Was that all in my head?”
“No.” She looked down. “We were having a good time. It just turned too—” Leaning back against the door, she bent over, half crumpled.
“Too what? Tell me.
Please.”
“Too much, okay?” Not looking up, she shook her head. “Too fucking much.”
“I was right. I did hurt you.” I punched my thigh.
As such a big guy—both my body and my cock—I tried to be careful. To go only so deep, to hold only so tight, to drive only so hard. I always held myself back to keep in control, but with Jade egging me on, I got carried away. I got carried away because of everything she’d made me feel.
Her eyes were closed, her lips tight together, her body wound up. Had I… Oh, my, god. Had I forced her? Had I completely misunderstood everything she’d been saying? Had I heard only what I wanted to hear? What my dick had wanted to hear?
My head felt like it was going to burst, and my chest heaved as I played back the action.
Shame caved in my chest. “Jade. I’m so sorry. I misunderstood. I took it too far. I thought you wanted it rough. I should have known better. Fuck. I could kill myself right now.”
Her eyes snapped open and she looked into mine. She was angry.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she said. “How many times do I have to say it? You didn’t hurt me, Nick. I wanted it hard.”
“Is that how you like it?”
Relieved, but confused, I leaned against the wall, wanting to understand this woman, hoping I’d get another chance to fuck her in any way that she wanted. To get it right the next time. “When it hurts… Is that... Do you like men to hurt you?”
“No…” She slammed her fist against the door.
“Because when we were going slow, when we were looking at each other…” A low whistle breathed through my lips. “I’m not gonna lie, Jade. For me, that connection between us, that was the best fucking thing that’s happened in my whole goddamned life.”
Her head snapped back like my words had connected with her chin.
I took a step back. How could I have been so wrong? How could I have felt so connected when she’d felt nothing—or worse? “Did you hate it that much?”
“No.” Her face twisted up, almost like she was going to cry, but she didn’t. “That’s the problem.”
I frowned. “Do you only like sex when you hate it? Because Jade, that’s some fucked-up shit right there.”
She looked away.
Stepping forward, I gently cupped the back of her head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t judge. I just want to understand. I want to know what you like…” If hurting her during sex was what she wanted, could I do that? I wasn’t sure. “Tell me how to make it good for you.”
“What the fuck do you care?” she asked on a sigh.
“Jade. Don’t you get it? I like you. I like you a lot. That wasn’t just some random fuck for me tonight. When you looked at me while we were… Shit. I’m not good at the word stuff. But if I read this wrong. If you don’t feel the same way.” My throat started to close. I’d known this girl three days, and I wasn’t sure how I could live without her. The thought was terrifying.
Her body yielded and curved into mine, her cheek pressed against my chest, so I tentatively wrapped my arms around her body. Her breathing slowed as I held her, and I gently stroked her soft hair like she was a wild animal I had to tame.
My dick hardened, so I shifted to make sure it wasn’t pressed against her body, not wanting to invade her space like that again without invitation.
“I’m so fucked up,” she said softly.
“No, you’re not.” I stroked her hair. “Why would you say that?”
“You’ve been nicer to me than any man ever—by far. You’re so sweet.”
My gut clenched. If she knew the truth, she wouldn’t call me sweet.
“But I can’t…” She looked at the floor.
“Can’t what, Jade?”
“Can’t… I don’t know.” She drew a long sucking breath. “For a while”—her voice was soft, barely audible—“when you were inside me, when you were looking at me, it was all just too…”
“Too what, Jade? Tell me. Please.”
“Too everything, okay? Too real, too honest, too fucking scary.”
My chest tightened. “Scary?” I couldn’t help my size.
Shaking her head and smiling sadly, she broke free of my embrace. “Never mind. It’s all good. I’m sorry I freaked out.”
“If you’re okay, I’m okay. But…” My mouth going dry, I swallowed hard. “I hope we can still. I mean I want to keep seeing you. I mean of course I’ll see you. You live right next door…” I sounded like a half-wit.
“Nick. I do want to fuck you again. Your dick—” She shook her head. “The sex was great. You were great. But…” She looked down to the floor. “Can we keep things casual? Just sex? Is that okay?”
I nodded, although I knew that for me it wasn’t okay. It wasn’t okay at all.
Fifteen
Jade
On the way home, our driver was chatty, and I sat in the front seat of his SUV, happy to have an excuse not to talk to Nick, or sit too near him, or even see him. If I got too close, I might crawl into his lap and try to fuck him again right there in the car. Or even worse, I’d confess that I liked him. Liked him so much, way too much.
I couldn’t risk that kind of pain. If I’d learned anything in my twenty-two years on this earth, I knew that sooner or later he’d disappoint me, just like everyone else.
He’d looked so worried after I’d stopped the sex, and so hurt when I said I wanted to keep things casual. I was starting to question myself.
Deal or no deal, I liked this man, he liked me, and the sex… The sex was hot. Maybe it was time to open myself up to the possibility of an actual relationship.
We barely knew each other, yet I had a sense that Nick might be the best thing that had ever happened to me. Seriously great. But that feeling was hard to trust.
A sharp ripple of hope traveled through me. Maybe Nick wouldn’t disappoint me. At least not in any big way we couldn’t get over. There was no way to be certain, but I’d never know if I didn’t give him the chance.
Nodding and half-listening to the driver, I watched Nick from the corner of my eye. His body was hunched to fit into the backseat, his legs spread wide to accommodate their length, and I wanted to reach back to make a connection. Even just a finger on the fabric of his jeans would be enough. But I didn’t dare.
I’d treated him horribly tonight, and yet it seemed he’d forgiven me, further evidence that Nick might be different.
Sure, I wanted to fuck him again, but even more than that, I wanted that sense of ease back between us. I wanted to fix what I’d broken. I wanted us to be friends.
The car pulled in front of Shady Oaks.
“Thanks, man,” Nick said to the driver as he pried himself out of the backseat behind me.
I opened my door. The SUV was high off the ground, and Nick reached out to help me down, but then dropped his hands quickly and turned away.
Shit. I’d really done a number on him tonight. I wasn’t good with apologies, unless they involved making food, but I knew when I owed someone one. And if I’d been in debt to Nick before, tonight that debt had quadrupled.
He held open the gate to the complex, squishing himself back against the concrete arch to give me lots of room to get through the door.
“Breakfast?” I asked as we walked past the poor excuse for a pool.
“Okay,” he said tentatively. “Sure. Good. I need to talk to you about something.”
“No need,” I said. “I mean”—I tried to laugh—“that is… I want to talk to you, too. Can I go first?”
“I guess so.” He took the stairs two at a time, and I did the same, even though I was in no hurry to face this difficult conversation. Apologies weren’t exactly my thing, relationships weren’t, that was for sure, and I hoped I could make him understand how hard it was for me to trust men, trust anyone.
“You going to shower first?” I asked.
“Nah. I think I’ll wait.” He stopped by my door. “Unless…” He glanced down toward his armpit.
“You’re good,” I laughed. “Besides, we both smell like...”
“We sure do.” His voice was deep and luscious.
“I wonder if the Lyft driver noticed?” I unlocked my door and went inside.
“That depends.” Following me, Nick closed the door behind him.
“Depends on what?” I tossed my backpack onto the crappy sofa.
“On whether or not he has a sense of smell.”
Chuckling, I smiled back at him, and the impact of his grinning expression went straight to my belly. I’d like to blame my fluttering stomach on hunger, but there was no denying its true cause. I liked this man. Really liked him. My heart and mind liked him as much, maybe more, than my lady parts liked him. And boy, my lady parts liked him a lot.
Thinking back on how I’d felt when he’d been inside me—how he’d looked at me like he saw everything, saw all the things I never showed anyone—I grew wet, my pussy pulsing and crying out to be filled again. Filled by Nick. And even more, I wanted to be wrapped up in his arms, pressed against his hard body, enveloped in his embrace.
To distract myself from my raging horniness, I turned on the oven and started putting strips of bacon onto a parchment-paper-covered baking sheet. “You okay with toast?” I asked. “Or I could do biscuits.”
“Toast is fine, and…”
“And what?” I turned back. “Biscuits are no problem. Easy peasy. Or I could make pancakes?”
“You don’t need to feed me. This isn’t… I don’t feel right about…”
“It’s no problem.” I felt bad that he still felt bad. “Even if I didn’t owe you, I’d be happy to cook you breakfast. Good neighbor stuff and all that. I like cooking, plus I need to eat, and it’s just as easy to make it for two.”
Happiness nearly lifted me off the kitchen floor. It had always given me pleasure to cook for others, especially people I cared about, but cooking for Nick… This feeling… It so wasn’t me.
For the first time in my life, I was having visions of domestic bliss. Of sharing my life with someone—sharing it with Nick. Assuming I hadn’t already ruined my chances.