by Julia Wolf
I didn’t really sleep that night, but at least I wasn’t sick with worry that he’d crashed and was lying dead somewhere. At least I could breathe.
* * *
Bex and I finally called it quits on the cafeteria. A week sitting with the WAGs was more than enough. Perched on the top of the bleachers, the sun warming the crown of my head, I was pretty sure I’d never eat inside again.
“So...Elijah’s having a bonfire this weekend.” Bex eyed me over her sandwich.
“I don’t think I want to go.” I knew I didn’t. The last time I attended Elijah’s bonfire...well, that was something I wasn’t ready to revisit, especially now.
“Understandable. Well, I’m not going to go without you, so let’s do a beach day or something.”
“I work Saturday. Dinner?”
She snorted a laugh. “Sure. Sounds good.”
“You should come hang out at the shop for a while. Lots of hot skaters come in.”
She shrugged. “I’m kinda not looking right now.”
“Because of Elijah? You think that’s going to be a thing?”
“Maybe? He lives a half hour away, which he seems to think makes us long distance. He’s a big question mark.”
A loud screech from below caught my attention. I stood, peering over the railing to see what was up.
Down below, a girl was being carried over a guy’s shoulder. She shrieked again, but it was pretty clear she was laughing and didn’t seem to mind being hauled around.
“Oh shit,” Bex mumbled. “Oh no.” She clutched my arm, but I barely felt it.
My brain wouldn’t allow me to compute what I was seeing. At least not right away. It took me a few seconds to process Sebastian was hauling Helen over his shoulder and they were heading under the bleachers.
“Oh my god.” Bile rose in the back of my throat, and I covered my mouth as I bent in half, my guts twisting in knots. Bex told me on the first day of school what went on under the bleachers. Kids didn’t go there to hang out with their pals.
So fucking much for Helen being a real one.
“Asshole!” Bex bellowed, standing tall with her hands on her hips. “Disloyal, tacky-ass dick. Get a fucking room, you piece of shit!”
Oh, I was going to die. It was one thing to have to witness the boy I still very much loved and another girl headed off to mess around, but it was another thing entirely for them to know I’d witnessed it.
“Bex, get down. Please.” I threw my half-eaten lunch into my backpack and careened down the steps. Bex called my name, but I didn’t slow. At the bottom of the bleachers, I booked it for school, running through the parking lot.
Gabe and his boys were holding court in their usual spot. He hollered his nickname for me, and I flipped him off as I burst through the entrance and threw myself into the first girls’ bathroom I found, panting as I leaned my back against the door.
Someone pushed on the door behind me hard enough to shove me out of the way. I staggered toward the sinks, bracing myself on the porcelain. When I turned around, I expected Sebastian to be there, but he wasn’t. Instead, I found Gabe.
“Whatcha doin’, little princess? Hiding in this shithole?” He took my former position against the door, blocking me in and everyone else out. I didn’t feel threatened, though. I had a feeling he’d let me leave if I really wanted to.
“Yeah. That’s exactly what I’m doing.” I propped my butt on the sink. “What are you doing? Reveling in my humiliation?”
His head jerked back. “Now, why would you think that? I like you, Grace. I’m fucking bummed about what’s going on. That kid is my best friend in the world, and he’s been through some shit. I’ve never seen him like he was with you. Pretty close to happy.”
Crossing my arms, I arched a brow. “Is that why you tried to stop me from seeing him with Elena at homecoming? To keep him happy and me in the dark? You don’t like me. If you did, you wouldn’t have done that.” I shrugged through the hurt. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I highly doubt you and I will be doing much hanging out anymore.”
He shook his head at me like I was a simpleton. “Nah, you’re not done with each other.”
“If there was a shred of hope, Sebastian just destroyed it. I saw him and Helen going under the bleachers. I’m not stupid. I know what they were going to do.”
Gabe’s eyebrows lowered. “You broke up with him, right? He’s allowed to do whatever he wants.”
“Right.” I rubbed my forehead, turning away from Gabe to catch my breath. “Can you go now?”
I heard him close the distance behind me. He touched my shoulder. “If you’re completely done with him, why do you look like you’re ready to lie down in front of a speeding train?”
Exasperated by boys who didn’t seem to understand human emotions, I threw my hands out. “Because I’m sad, Gabriel! I’m sad and I’m hurt and so fucking exhausted from feeling this way. I want to throttle the shit out of Helen and Bash for flaunting their hookup.” I caught his gaze in the mirror, and the sympathy in his normally manic eyes broke me. Tears pricked behind my eyelids, but I refused to let them fall. “It’s too much. It’s just too much.”
To my surprise, he turned me around and hugged me. He didn’t try to rub up on me or get inappropriate. It was a genuine, friend-hugging-another-friend type of embrace.
“Gracie...they weren’t hooking up, I promise. Hells always has the good weed. They were going to smoke. I swear it on the soul of my mama that’s all that was going down today.”
I hated the relief that flooded through my veins even though I heard the very pointed “today.”
“Okay.” My chin trembled. “Thank you for telling me.”
He stroked the back of my head, holding me gently. “That was this time, though. You gotta know, eventually he’s gonna hookup with another chick. If you want to stay broken up, then that’s reality, Grace. I’m not telling you this to hurt you. It’s just straight facts.”
“I know.” I pushed away from him, sucking in a deep breath and willing away my tears. “I know that. Thank you.”
He patted my head. “Come on. You can’t hide in here all day. You’re gonna end up smelling like poo, and no one likes that, no matter how hot you are.”
Gabe pushed open the door, letting me walk out first. My steps faltered, and Gabe ran into my back. Sebastian was pacing just outside the bathroom, his hands balled into fists.
He came toward me, but I held my hand up. “No.”
“My best friend,” he roared, throwing his arms out like an out-of-control windmill.
I could have told him how wrong he was, but I was just hurt enough to be petty.
“Now I guess you know how I feel.” I swiveled on the balls of my feet and strode away, leaving Sebastian yelling for me and Gabe cackling like the true lunatic he was. He’d be lucky if he didn’t get his lights punched out, but I got a swirl of pleasure knowing he’d take one for the sake of my vengeance.
By the time I got to the last period of the day, all of the remnants of that cheap thrill had seeped away, leaving me hollow and sad again. As I unloaded my notebook and the Shakespeare play we were reading in class from my backpack, Nate stopped in front of my desk.
“Hey, Grace.”
“Hi, Nate.”
He squatted down so we were eye level. “How’s it going?”
I met his empty blue eyes with my hard gaze. “It’s fine. You?”
“Getting better. I heard you and your boyfriend broke up.”
I lifted a shoulder, not bothering to confirm nor deny. It was obvious he already knew anyway.
He tapped my desk with his thick, calloused fingertips. “I was thinking, since I’ve gone through a recent breakup, and you have too, maybe we should hang out. Commiserate. Comfort each other.”
“Why would I want to do that?”
He rubbed the top of my hand before I jerked it away. “Aw, are you actually sad about that pussy-ass loser? You couldn’t have been serious about him.”
> The blood in my veins turned to lava, heating my entire body. “That’s private, Nate.” It took everything in me not to lash out—and I was on the very edge.
“Seriously? The kid must have a golden dick. He fucked my girl, he fucked you, and you’re both still chasing him when he’s clearly done with you. I don’t get it.”
“There’s nothing to get.”
He took a deep breath, going in for the kill. “All right. That’s fair. We don’t have to talk about him. Let’s just hang out. We can watch a movie in my basement. It’ll be like old times, and we’ll see where it goes, like last time.”
That was my breaking point—and he’d taken a giant leap over it.
“Jesus Christ, Nate, take a hint. I am not now, nor will I ever be, interested in you. I don’t want to date you or touch you in any way. Please, just leave me the hell alone!”
Everything in the class went still. All the students and even our teacher froze. Everyone had heard, and I didn’t give a single shit. Maybe Nate would think twice before harassing me. From across the room, Elena glared at me, but I didn’t miss the slight curl of her lips. She was enjoying this.
Nate Bergen wasn’t. His grip on my desk tightened so much, the wood creaked under the pressure. His face had flushed beet red, and the muscles in his shoulders vibrated.
“You’re a fucking cunt, Grace Patel. Always have been. Watch your step, little girl.” He said it quietly enough that only I heard his words, but our entire class could see his rage-filled demeanor. There was no question in my mind this would wind up on social media by the time school let out.
At last, everyone would see our star quarterback wasn’t as golden as he appeared.
Chapter Thirty-six
I didn’t go to shop to work on my sculptures for two days. The first day, I skipped because I simply didn’t want to face another confrontation with Sebastian. The second day, I had to work—fortunately with Preston. I didn’t think I was ready to have another revealing conversation with Helen yet.
I still dragged my feet going down there on Wednesday. And when I rounded the corner to find Sebastian blocking the doorway, my wariness was confirmed.
“You can’t go in there,” he said.
My steps stuttered. “What are you talking about? You can’t tell me that.”
“Listen to me.” He braced his hands on either side of the door, truly barring my entrance. “I need to tell you something before you see it. You have to be ready.”
Horror filled my chest. What had he done? Had he painted me with a knife through my heart and decided he now felt bad about it? If he didn’t want me to see, it must have been heinous.
“Let me pass. I don’t want to hear your explanations.” I shoved at his chest, but that only brought me close enough for him to grab me and pull my back to his front. I fought, stomping on his toes, but he kept me tight in his arms. “Don’t touch me, Sebastian. You don’t get to touch me like this.”
“I know, baby. But you gotta calm down so I can talk to you,” he soothed.
“I don’t want to hear your voice. I just want to see with my own eyes.” I twisted and jerked, but he had my arms crossed over my chest and my hands in his. The only way I was getting away was if he allowed it, and he didn’t seem to want to do that.
“What’s going on here?” Mr. Frederick boomed as he approached us from down the hall. “Get your hands off her, Vega.”
His grip loosened, but he didn’t let go. It didn’t matter. As Sebastian stuttered an excuse, I ripped out of his arms and ran inside the room. First, I went to his painting, but it was only a generic school mascot. Nothing horrifying about it.
Then a wave of realization hit me.
Mr. Frederick and Sebastian followed me to my work area. Everything was in place. The tools were where I left them. But my sculptures…
“Oh no.” I staggered forward, falling against the counter. All my work, my hours and hours of cutting and welding, had been disassembled. Each chain had been cut into pieces, the stars curled and bent. The copper stand was now lying in a tidy pile on the ground. Metal sheeting, which I’d painstakingly cut, had been crumpled into a worthless ball on the floor.
Whoever did this was sick but smart. They destroyed my art, but did it in a way no one would notice anything was amiss until I came to work on it again. Tools that belonged to the school hadn’t been broken, only my work. The pieces I needed to apply to college. The art that represented my dad’s stories.
Sebastian stood beside me, taking it in. “Grace—”
I turned to him. “Did you do this?”
His dark eyes shuttered immediately, and his mouth hardened. “No.”
I couldn’t let myself believe that. I pushed his shoulder. “Did you do it, Sebastian? Did you?” I shrieked, manic, darkness closing in on my vision. My heart thundered and broke for the thousandth time.
“No.” He stood there, a solid wall as I shoved him and cried at him. I was so angry, not just about this moment, but about a hundred other moments like this.
I knew life was unfair to everyone. I knew I wasn’t the only one to be hurt or lose a parent or a boyfriend. But it felt like it sometimes. Like I was alone on an island with a laser beam pointed directly at me. Each hit brought me to my knees, and every time I stood back up, I was hit again, even harder. And I wondered how much more I could take.
I wanted to crumple into Sebastian’s arms, but I hated him too.
Mr. Frederick stepped in, stopping me from hitting Sebastian again. “Grace, you have to stop or I’ll call security. I know you’re upset, but you’re on school grounds and I can’t stand by and allow this.”
My words came out tremulous and thick. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I just...it’s weeks of work and I don’t know what I’m going to do now. I don’t think I can start over. I can’t.”
“Look, the good thing about having a class filled with thousands of dollars of tools is that we have security cameras.” Mr. Frederick pointed to the covers of the classroom where inconspicuous cameras were mounted. “We’ll find out who did this. As for your art...I’m sorry. I don’t have the answer for that. I wish I did, young lady.”
“Okay.” What else could I say?
I was at a loss, but Sebastian took over. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, steering me outside to his car. He helped me into the front seat and threw my backpack in the back.
He drove me home in silence, just like last week. The only difference was, he parked and got out of the car with me. I let him carry my backpack and follow me inside. I just...didn’t care.
He found my keys, unlocked my door, and followed me to my room. I kicked my shoes off and collapsed on my bed.
“I’ll help you fix it.” He hovered by the door, ever watchful.
I shook my head and rolled to my side, buckling under the stabbing in my stomach.
He slapped the wall beside him. “Goddammit, Grace. Be pissed. Rage at me. Accuse me of shit. I can take it all. But if you break, I break too. I can’t see you like this, not when you won’t let me hold you or help you or do anything for you.”
“I can’t think of any of that right now,” I croaked. “I don’t know how to start over. I don’t even know if I want to start over. But right now, I just need to be sad.”
He stood tall and resolute, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’m not leaving you like this.”
I sucked in a shaky breath. “Okay.”
Sebastian sat down on my desk chair, but we didn’t speak. He wanted to, but each time he opened his mouth, he clamped it shut again.
He stayed until my mom came home. To my relief, he told her what had happened so I didn’t have to. I wasn’t sure I could even bring myself to say the words.
He left me with a touch of his lips to the top of my head and a promise to make things right. I didn’t know how anything would ever be right, but hearing him say those words offered me a little comfort.
* * *
I didn’t go to school for the
rest of the week, and my mom didn’t even try to convince me. Once she had called the school and found out for herself what had happened, she was livid. I told her I thought Elena had done it, but since I didn’t have proof yet, I couldn’t really throw her name around or do anything.
Saturday came, but I couldn’t face work. I was fortunate to have understanding bosses who didn’t hold it against me for taking the day off.
My mom, however, was done with me lying in bed.
“Get up, Grace. I’m taking you to breakfast.” She ripped my covers off me. I tried to grab them back, so she completely removed them from the bed. “You’re allowed to be upset. What you can’t do is quit life. You can grieve when you’re showered and dressed and facing the day. Ask me how I know.”
I blinked up at her. “Wow, that was amazing mom guilt.”
She curtsied. “Thank you. It comes with the job. Now, up!”
I rolled out of bed and bathed my smelly, lethargic body. I had to admit, the shower perked me up and made me feel better. Wearing real clothes went even further to improve my mood. By the time we got in the car, I was looking forward to stuffing my face with pancakes or an omelet. Maybe both.
Mom didn’t drive toward town, though. The route she took looked more and more familiar each mile we passed.
“Where are we going?” Panic spiked in my gut.
“We’re having breakfast at the Sandersons’ house. Diedre and I talked last night, and we decided you and Elena need to lay this feud to rest. It’s time now. You don’t have to be friends, I don’t expect you ever will be, but what’s been going on between you can’t continue.”
She turned at the gate to the neighborhood, giving the guard her name. He checked a list and waved her through.
“Did you tell Mrs. Sanderson her daughter might have destroyed my sculptures?” I demanded.
“We talked about that. Elena didn’t do it, Grace. She was at cheerleading and then at home during the time frame it could have happened. Plus, I got a call from Mr. Frederick this morning. It wasn’t her.”