Nooks & Crannies

by Jessica Lawson

  A low creak sounded in the room or in the hall, Tabitha couldn’t tell. She froze and waited. “The wind moving the house a bit, I think. It’s turned into quite a violent blizzard, Pemberley. I do hope the motorcars made it to the cottage without incident. And I hope the other children aren’t very frightened.”

  Squeak.

  “Oh, all right, I suppose Frances could do with a bit of a shock. Perhaps there’ll be a mirror in her room, and she’ll insult the person she sees before realizing it’s herself.”

  Squeakity?

  “What? Oh! Yes, the key.” Tabitha reached into the apron pocket and pulled out the small brass item. “Now, whatever might this open? Hmm. In Inspector Pensive novels, people hiding keys and such generally kept three things in mind:

  1. Hide the item in an unlikely place.

  2. Hide the item somewhere personal enough to remember.

  3. Hide the item in a room where you’ll go naturally and often, so as not to appear odd when retrieving it.”

  Squeak.

  Tabitha sighed. “That’s true. Mary’s key was hidden in her bracelet, which means the keyhole it belongs to could be anywhere at all. Well, I think a thorough deducing session can be best done in the light of the morning.” She brought the carpetbag to one side of the bed and fetched Pemberley’s mustache tonic tin. Switching quickly into her one nightdress, Tabitha cleaned her face and hands in the small alcove containing a half-full water pitcher and washing basin.

  “Here, Pemby. Wash up, as good dreams are seen more clearly when your dirt’s been scrubbed away. Shame there’s not a mouse-size basin. Perhaps when we set up our own Inspector agency, we shall get you your own alcove. Here,” she said, pouring a bit of water into the soap dish, “use this.” She watched, amused, as Pemberley scrubbed his muzzle and looked up expectantly. “Much better. Aren’t you glad you have me to play mother?”

  As she crawled under the heavy sheets and rich comforter, Tabitha again noticed the photograph on the bedside table. By all accounts, it appeared to be a quite normal and happy family of mother, father, and baby. What was odd about it? Once more, she had the distinct impression that something wasn’t quite right. Was it something about the bassinet, or . . .

  She looked at the painting of the boy on the wall, ignoring a gentle chill that seized the muscles in her neck and shoulders. “Hello, boy. You’ve probably been facing this photograph for years. Can you tell me what’s odd about it?”

  Squeak, shuffle, squeak.

  “Yes, Pemberley, I know the boy is in a portrait and won’t answer.” With heavy eyelids (it had, after all, been an extraordinarily emotional and busy day), Tabitha looked more closely at the beautiful, long-haired, full-figured woman next to the bassinet. Her eyes held hope and love. A handsome man had his arm around her, and his smile was wide enough to stretch off his face.

  “Pemberley, will we ever be this happy, do you think, now that we have no family?” Tabitha cupped her cheekbones.

  Squeak.

  “Yes, I’m being overly sentimental. Anybits, Mum and Daddy won’t miss me at all.” Tabitha bit her lip deeply and stared until the image became blurry. “But they aren’t my parents anymore, and I mustn’t care. I mustn’t.”

  Squeak.

  “Sir Pemberley,” she said, cradling him. Bundling him. “Listen to me carefully.” She kissed him softly, lifting the little mouse until they were nose to nose and she was quite certain he was paying close attention. “I found you on a Tuesday evening last November, after having been locked in my attic for burning supper. I was feeling cold and alone and frightened, and then I heard a rustling noise coming from one of the beams. When I found you nestled among your brothers and sisters, my heart filled up and my sadness was forgotten. Your existence brought me joy from the moment I met you. I shall never forget that day or think it ordinary. You made that day special.”

  Squeak?

  “Yes, really. Pemberley, don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re a dirty thing. Or an unwanted thing. Or a useless thing, do you hear me?”

  Pemberley sniffed Tabitha’s hand, looking for food.

  “You are very much adored and very much needed. You are a gallant knight among mice, and my only friend to speak of, and I love you. Isn’t that good to hear? I love you.” She held up a crumb. “Will you twirl?” The mouse made himself go around in a circle one way, then the other, before standing on his hind legs to reach the nibble. “Bravo!”

  Making a pile of her sweater on the bed beside her, she tucked Pemberley’s tin far inside, where it wouldn’t be immediately visible, in case anyone should come into the room before she could hide him the next morning.

  “A story?” Tabitha yawned and placed the mouse into his bed. “Oh, fine. I’ll read you a bit from The Case of the Duplicitous Duke’s Doorway.”

  Squeakity.

  “Oh, I’m so glad, it’s one of my favorite Inspector Pensive novels too.”

  With three layers of blankets, it was a heavy lift to raise all the bedding at once in order to reach for the book in her carpetbag. She dug around for the familiar shape, but instead of grasping a book, her hands settled around the sheath of loosely rolled papers that her mum had stashed in the bag back in Wilting.

  Smoothing the papers on her lap, Tabitha soon realized she was looking at several bank documents covered in numbers and figures. She didn’t much understand the documents, other than to know they were probably not approved by Mr. Crum’s employer. There was also a description of a villa on the coast of Spain and some accompanying financial gobbledygook.

  “Travel papers,” Tabitha told Pemberley. “They’re leaving us for sunny Spain. Oh, Pemberley, why do you think—”

  Squeakity-squeak!

  “You’re right, you’re right. No point in dwelling. It’s probably best to try for some sleep, anyway. You look awfully tired out from the day. Tomorrow we’ll work on this key business.” She clapped her hands together for a quick prayer. “Dear God, please bless poor Mary Pettigrew and everyone else who needs blessings, and thank you for Pemberley and Inspector Pensive, the end, good night.”

  Presently Tabitha’s breath began to slow and soften. She was nearly asleep when an unmistakable cry of terror broke through the room’s walls.

  Bolting upright, Tabitha snatched Pemberley to her breast and ran to the door, where she listened intently. Hearing nothing, she opened the door a crack. A series of thuds and a scattering of objects tinkled faintly up the staircase. The noise was coming from far below. Somewhere else in the house entirely. She crept to the end of her short hallway. The west wing rooms appeared black and silent. No other child had awakened.

  Silence.

  Awful, deafening silence.

  Tabitha tiptoed to the landing at the top of the staircase, searching the darkness below and waiting.

  Not a single soul stirred.

  “Did that just happen?” she asked Pemberley. “Did I imagine it?” She breathed in and out, calming her heart. “Was it all a nightmare? Am I sleeping?”

  Pemberley remained silent, but Tabitha felt him shaking. Or perhaps that was her own body.

  “I’ve heard of such things,” Tabitha told herself. “Waking nightmares.” Giving herself a quick pinch, she was disappointed to feel no different. “There are far worse things than having a waking nightmare, right? Shall we list a few?” But she could think of nothing worse at the moment than having an odd nightmare attached to a disturbingly realistic scream. “Logically, we should go back to bed, right, Pemberley? And it’s best to be logical. Inspector Pensive values logic.”

  Part of Tabitha cursed her cowardice in not investigating matters further. It was very easy to be adventurous when reading books, but rather more difficult to address perilous situations off the written page.

  “Don’t be frightened,” she said, returning to her room and setting a chair beneath the doorknob. Tibbs was prone to doing that in nearly every Pensive novel she’d read. Ridiculous, Tibbs, Pensive would say. If a murde
rer is going to murder us, a silly chair won’t stop him. Most likely we’ll simply be poisoned in the morning.

  “I’m afraid that I’m unsure how to comfort you,” Tabitha whispered to Pemberley as she tucked them both beneath the covers, feeling the mouse’s trembling form. “I’m afraid that I’m feeling rather trembly myself. From the nightmare, you see.” She nodded in the dark. “From that silly, silly nightmare. It’s a shame neither of us have our parents’ bed to run to.” She frowned, sadness tugging on her fear. “I suppose I never did.”

  Soon after, stimulated to the point of exhaustion, Tabitha Crum fell asleep with images of her fellow invitees, an imposing duke with secrets, cold carriage rides, calculating Countesses, East London accents, Hollingsworth Hall, orphanages, ghosts, and poor Mary Pettigrew all swirling about in the disappearing fog of Inspector Pensive’s pipe smoke.

  I’m not dismissing the possibility of spirits, Tibbs. What I’m saying is that the majority of spirit-related activities that I’ve encountered can be traced to those who are in possession of rather still-beating hearts and ill-smelling body odor.

  —Inspector Percival Pensive,

  The Case of the Grimauldian Ghost

  Three firm knocks awakened Tabitha. She pushed the comforter to her waist, stretched up to the ceiling, then reached out to her still-covered toes. The knowledge that it was a new morning and the sight of elegant canopy curtains took away a bit of the previous night’s eeriness. What a horrible and lifelike nightmare she’d had.

  “Wake up, miss,” Agnes called, cracking the door open. “I’ve come to bring you fresh water. Breakfast is nearly ready, and I daresay you could use something in your stomach. You didn’t eat any of your parlor sweets last night, not that I blame you.”

  “Very observant of you. Thank you, Agnes,” Tabitha said, rubbing her eyes.

  The maid lingered in the doorway with a pitcher. “Miss Mary has been moved, so you won’t be running into her. I was worried about that myself,” she said. “The poor, poor woman. I hope she didn’t die in much pain.” The pitcher dipped a little, threatening to spill over.

  Tabitha could see that reassurance was in order if she was to be given her washing-up water. There were ghosts and mysterious keys and unclear motives to be dealt with. “I’m nearly certain she died of a second stroke, Agnes. Natural causes. Any other disturbance was unfortunate, but not ultimately intentional.”

  Straightening with a pained smile, Agnes switched the room’s pitchers. “Thank you for saying so, miss. Do you think you might be the Countess’s grandchild?”

  “Thank you, and no. I’m afraid that I came with no token or other information that might be of use. I’m not sure the Countess is the type of grandmother I’d like to claim, though. She seems to have . . . secrets. Do you know of any?”

  Agnes startled, spilling some water and bending to mop it with a hand towel. “Clumsy, clumsy Agnes,” she breathed. “No, miss, I don’t know a thing.” With a wavering smile, she curtsied and left the room without closing the door.

  Tabitha watched the maid’s shadow retreat before addressing Pemberley. “Time to get up, sir. Are you ready to face the day?”

  Squeak.

  Barnaby and Oliver were missing from the breakfast table, but the electricity was present and accounted for. The lights of the dining chandelier and the side table lamps seemed too bright, though. Falsely bright, as though they were posing as comforts and failing terribly.

  “Good morning, Tabitha,” Edward said. “Hope you’re ready for another proper tuck-in. Cook tried to serve us in courses again, but I told her to just bring the lot.”

  “Oh,” said Tabitha, approaching a chair slowly. She heard her father’s words from just two days ago: Don’t say “oh” like an idiot. But by the time she was finished remembering those words, the moment to say a few more of her own had passed.

  The same elegant slab of wood where they’d had a pleasant dinner followed by celebratory conversation was once again piled with food. Still standing, she listened while Edward presented the trays of sliced melon and grapes, baskets of muffins, hard-boiled eggs, spiced mushrooms, poached eggs on toast, and porcelain bowls filled with sweet buttered peas. He took a breath and then pointed to boar sausages, beans, and hot cereal, which sat next to a platter of steaming beefsteak.

  Edward made a grand gesture toward the final dish. “That one’s deviled lobster. Told you that noise from the kitchen last night could have been a death scream. Poor bloke. Tasty, though.”

  Tabitha surveyed the feast before her but found that she had little appetite. Nor, it seemed, did Frances, who was sitting across from her, blank-faced. The foul little Wellington hadn’t even the energy to sneer at anyone, not even an empty-plated Viola.

  “Hello, Tabitha,” Viola called. “Sit next to me?”

  Tabitha was taken slightly aback. Why was Viola being so very nice to her? Did she consider Tabitha to be a charity case? It was only when Pemberley moved in her pocket that she remembered to answer. “Yes, thank you.” She sat.

  Viola smiled, then let out another series of sneezes.

  “Oh . . . are you still feeling ill?”

  “No, just itchy. I was doing better, though. Those sneezes came out of nowhere.” She held up a hand to protest when Edward offered her a sausage. “I’m not terribly hungry.”

  “You can’t let circumstances allow you to lose your health, Viola,” Edward said, scooping a pile of beans onto his toast. “Got to keep your strength up.”

  “That’s right,” Oliver said, entering the room. His steps were slow. His hair had been combed, but one or two strands refused to stay down. He took a seat next to Tabitha, looking around the table warily. “Sorry I’m so late,” he added, looking at the clock. “Agnes had to come twice to fetch me. Good morning. Or simply morning, I suppose.”

  “It’s good so far.” Edward nodded, reaching over to pour Oliver some juice. “No dead people and no accidental stabbings from paranoid women of title,” he joked. “I say, have you all heard of Elizabeth Bathory, also known as the Blood Countess? Nasty woman. Liked to torture young girls in particular. Used blood to keep her skin young, which is a silly sort of thing. Soap would’ve been fine, don’t you think?”

  Nobody answered, but Viola looked distinctly ill.

  “Do you know that one of her servants once stole a pear, and Elizabeth Bathory had her beaten so badly that the poor Countess had to change her shirt? Was standing too close and caught the blood spray. Around ten pints of blood in the human body, you know.” Nobody responded, and Edward reached for another sausage.

  Frances, who had managed a bite of toast, finally gained her strength and scowled. “Are you as stupid as your bum is big? You’d do well to show some respect to the Countess. Not that you could ever deserve one hundred thousand pounds.”

  Cook entered, snorting either at the comment or the lack of eating. “Something the matter with my food again? The boys are the only ones eating?” She snatched Tabitha’s empty plate and began loading it. “All this other nonsense aside, you’re lucky this food is even here. Drivers to the cottage seem to have raided my kitchen. Nearly half my eggs and tomatoes were gone this morning, and I’m only three days into my order week. We’ll make do, I suppose, for as long as we need to. Here you go, miss.”

  Tabitha managed a smile. “Thank you. We’ve all been rather rattled by poor Mary’s death, I suppose.”

  “Agnes and I have been rattled as well,” Cook said. “There was a loud scuffling and shouting in the kitchen last night.”

  So it wasn’t a dream.

  “Stop talking,” Frances ordered. “Do your business and be gone.”

  Cook whirled on Frances with a full fork. “I’ve had quite enough out of you, miss. In case your pretty ears and pretty eyes were removed from your pretty head last night, there was a death that took place.” She flung four fat sausages onto Frances’s plate.

  “Oh, no, thank you,” said Viola, placing both hands over her plate
before Cook could drop eggs onto it.

  Cook frowned and put the eggs back on the table, grabbing a tray of melon instead. “Maybe the awful noise last night was Phillips’s beastly dog,” she said, slipping fruit slices on Viola’s plate. “Or else it was just a nightmare. I suppose none of you heard anything.” She halted, eyeing them each in turn.

  Edward and Frances shook their heads.

  “I heard it,” said Tabitha.

  “I may have heard something,” said Viola. “A yell and a crash of some sort. But I’d been dreaming of terrible riots in a poorhouse, so I just assumed it was part of the dream.”

  Oliver looked around. “Um . . . has Barnaby been down yet? Please say yes. Please say he’s in the loo.”

  The Countess glided into the room before anyone could reply to Oliver, locking eyes briefly with Cook, who was suddenly in a hurry to return to the kitchen. She looked remarkably rosy-cheeked and well rested and was wearing a black gown with matching gloves. “Greetings, children. The interviews shall begin shortly. Where is Barnaby Trundle?”

  “Not here yet, Grandmother,” Frances said, her gaze glued to the Countess’s multiple bracelets. “If you ask me, he’s rather lazy and not at all suited to being in a household of such quality. No sense of class structure whatsoever.”

  “Well, I shall certainly take that into consideration when conducting his interview.”

  The door flew open and Agnes rushed in, her maid’s hat slightly askew and her apron crooked. She slid into the table and collided with a bunch of grapes, barely missing the Countess.

  “Careful, idiot girl!”

  The poor maid could barely open her mouth, let alone speak, and Tabitha felt immensely sorry for her. She knew from experience that it’s exceedingly difficult to communicate when you’re busy processing a verbal attack.