by Joyee Flynn
I didn’t have time to ask or come to any conclusions when Marv showed up. I took my breakfast and the paperwork from him. We exchanged a few words, and he left to go finish packing up my apartment.
It took me a while to look over the new contracts, analyze the proofs, and decide how many of everything to order. When I was done, I rolled my eyes, realizing I had to get them all back to the office. I went upstairs to change into real clothes when I heard Ant sniffling from his room. The door wasn’t closed all the way, and just as I went to check on him, I heard him.
“He hit me,” he whimpered. “I mean, I know spanking isn’t like punching me in the face, but this wasn’t for fun spanking. And he was really mean, Alpha. I couldn’t even lie on my back or sit this morning. It still hurts now, and we’re shifters. You know how fast we heal.”
I sank against the wall outside his door. Fuck! How did I fix this? And did I even forgive him for what he did? But then again, I knew what I did was way worse.
“And this is how it started with Matt,” Ant sniffled. “He’d get mad and fuck me really rough, not even letting me get off. Then it turned into spankings and always hitting my back during sex. And toward the end, there wasn’t any sex. It was just using me like a punching bag.”
Oh fuck me sideways! I’d never thought about Ant’s past with his ex-boyfriend. I completely forgot that my mate had been abused in his last relationship. Gods, I was a douche.
“There has to be a way to break this mating, Alpha! I get what UPAC was trying to do, but I’m not staying in another abusive relationship. I’d rather die. Please just talk to them and explain what’s going on.”
No, no, no! I didn’t want to end our mating. I just wanted to be able to trust my mate. How could I fix this? I had no clue what I was doing. I simply acted on instinct as I pushed open the door and entered the room.
“Yes, Alpha, but if he hits me again I’m leaving. The consequences be damned. I understand,” Ant said as he wiped his eyes and finished up the conversation. He flipped the phone closed and gasped when he saw me there. “Leave me alone.”
“Can we talk?” I asked, not moving from where I was standing. I didn’t want to spook him or freak him out any worse.
“No,” he replied and shifted. I left, realizing he needed time, and there was no way I wouldn’t scare him worse by chasing him around. He said no, and I’d respect that… for now.
I went and got dressed with a heavy heart. I’d fucked this up way worse than Ant ever had. I found the pile of current bills on my laptop case that Ant must have left, and picked them up. I left them on the kitchen table on my way out and sent Marv a text that he could come pick them up in a couple of hours when I’d be back home.
It took me about an hour to run to the office and get everything I needed to do. On the way back to Ant’s house, I passed a florist and stopped in. I figured that’s what you did when you fucked up. You got flowers. Okay, Ant was a man, but no matter the sex of the partner, the point would be the same. I picked out a large bouquet of roses. I figured mixed colors would be best since I had no clue what they all meant.
I sent up a silent prayer to the heavens that Ant would at least talk to me and give me a chance to explain before running from me. It wasn’t until then that it even crossed my mind that if he did run, it would affect me as well. The rules from UPAC were that if we didn’t consummate our mating every day, we’d lose our animals.
As I parked in the driveway and got out, I noticed the front door was open. What the fuck? I raced to the door, barreling through it as I shouted out for Ant.
“In here,” he called from the living room in a pained voice.
I froze as I walked into the room, dropping the flowers in shock. It looked like a bomb had gone off. Ant and Marv were both panting and bleeding as they sat on opposite sides of the room. Why hadn’t I noticed Marv’s car parked on the street? Had I been that distracted?
“He attacked me,” Marv said, pointing to Ant but crying out when he moved his arm. It seemed that was broken.
“The fuck I did,” Ant growled as he held his T-shirt up to his bleeding nose. “Marv jumped me when I opened the door, saying I stole you from him. I raced into here when I couldn’t shove him out the door. He followed me into my house and attacked me.”
I glanced back and forth between them. What the fuck? Who did I even believe on this one? Marv had never shown me a single violent tendency in the years I employed him. And Ant had lied to me before, but nothing like this. His story made more sense though. Why wouldn’t Marv leave if Ant attacked him?
“Un-fucking-real,” I swore as I kicked the roses across the room to Ant. “Here I wanted to apologize. Now I’m not so sure.”
“You believe him,” Ant snarled as he shot Marv a dirty look.
“I’ve known Marv for years, and you’ve kept things from me,” I shot back as I went over to Marv. I lifted him up into my arms, straining a little since he wasn’t that much shorter than me. “Let’s get you guys to the hospital.”
I didn’t wait for Ant to answer me as I spun on my heel and left. Once I got Marv in the car, I went back for my mate. But he was already hobbling out to his vehicle.
“I’ll drive myself since you don’t believe me and that man is insane,” Ant shouted as I approached him. Fine! I stormed back to my car and took off for the hospital. This was such a fucking mess!
“I’m sorry, Gavin,” Marv said softly and then winced when he put pressure on a gash on his leg.
“What are you sorry for?” I asked, glancing at him before returning my eyes back to the road.
“That you got put in the middle of all of this,” he answered as he closed his eyes. “That you found out your boyfriend is a jealous freak and violent. I would never have thought that someone so tiny would pick a fight like that. I followed him inside to get the bills and asked him if he wanted a Monday treat from now on like you, and he jumped me. I was so shocked he got a few shots in before I could even defend myself.”
I nodded as we pulled into the ER drop-off. I helped him get out, and he went to register as I parked the car. As I jogged back to the reception area, my thoughts were racing, and I couldn’t focus on just one. Something here wasn’t adding up. And not just that one of them was lying. There was a thought on the edge of my brain that I couldn’t seem to grab onto.
Ant came limping in a few minutes later, and I raced over to him. I tried to help him, but he skirted around me.
“Look, I don’t know who to believe,” I hissed in his ear so people didn’t start staring. “Would you give me a minute to think before you get pissed at me?”
“You forget I was already pissed and trying to leave you, Gavin,” he answered, his eyes filling with tears.
That was it. That was the thought I kept having. Ant was trying to leave me! That was why I brought him flowers to apologize. Why would he get jealous and attack Marv if he wanted to leave me? Ant hadn’t known I heard his conversation with his Alpha while it was happening.
And unless he was an Oscar-worthy actor, no one could fake all this. I let him go and wandered back over to Marv, who was getting an exam in a curtained-off area.
“Did you break up with him?” he asked as someone stitched up his leg.
“Soon,” I lied as I watched his reaction intently. He was relieved. But then again, a friend worried about another one would be, so that didn’t tell me much.
“Good, he can’t take care of you like I could,” Marv replied with a wide smile.
“Pain meds?” I asked, not wanting to show my hand or how he just slipped up.
“Oh yeah, they loaded me up with the good stuff.” He giggled and slapped his hand over his mouth. “Man I just giggled! Who know that little shit could do so much damage?”
“Well, you get some rest, and I’ll call your mom to get you back home,” I said quickly. He was liable to ramble out exactly what he did, and I didn’t want that. Because if he knew that I knew, then he’d freak. And I had a lot of dam
age control to handle, starting with canceling the debit card he had to my accounts, changing passwords, etc.
“Okay, love you, Gavin,” he mumbled as he turned his head in his pillow. Well, fuck. Guess that explained a lot.
It took me a bit, but I found where Ant was after I’d called Marv’s mom. When I walked in, the doc looked up at me. “Who are you?”
“His husband,” I answered as I went to my mate’s side. He wouldn’t touch me, and I didn’t blame him. But before I could say anything else, the police showed up to ask Ant questions.
“Can you tell us what happened, Mr. Marino?” the first officer asked.
“I was working at home when the doorbell rang,” Ant replied, glancing over at me now. “My husband’s PA, Marv was at the door and asked if Gavin was home. When I said no, he said good and hit me in the face. I stumbled back in shock, and when he came after me, spouting all kinds of crazy shit about he should be Gavin’s husband. That I stole Gavin from him and I needed to be out of the picture. I ran, and since Marv was blocking all the exits I ended up cornered in the living room like an idiot. We fought until it became clear it was a draw and Gavin showed up.”
“Did you assistant ever show any signs of aggression to your husband before?” the second officer asked me.
“No but they just met the other day,” I answered, clearing my throat. “We were just married in Europe. But Marv did just admit to me that he loved me a few minutes ago after the doctor doped him up with pain meds.”
Ant’s eyes went wide, but he didn’t say anything.
“Is there anything else you want to add, Mr. Marino?”
“Yes, I knew Marv was in love with Gavin the moment I met him. He had a slight meltdown when he met me.”
“Yeah, he did,” I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. “I thought it was because we eloped. He asked me if Anthony had anything on me that would make me marry him. I thought it was just concerned after working for me for so many years.”
We answered several more questions before the police were satisfied and left. While Ant was being discharged, I called my business assistant and explained what was going on. She immediately jumped in and said she’d take care of the debit card, and would let everyone Marv dealt with on my behalf know he was no longer allowed to speak for me or was employed by me.
Ant got out of bed and started to walk. But I wasn’t having any of it after the doctor said he’d popped his knee out in the fight and shouldn’t put any weight on it. I scooped him up in my arms and carried him out to the car.
“Don’t touch me,” he snarled. “You’ve done enough.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. You were right, and I’ll make it up to you, Ant,” I whispered and kissed his temple. “What I did last night was way worse than anything you kept from me. I wasn’t thinking about your past abuse.”
“What about how rough you were with me?” he asked after I loaded him into my car and we headed home. “I won’t be mated to someone who treats me like that, Gavin.”
“I know,” I replied as my eyes burned. “I swear I didn’t realize how cruel I had been until afterwards. And then I didn’t know what to do. I figured I’d give you some space and then come talk to you. But then I heard you on the phone with your Alpha and realized just how badly I hurt you.”
“The rough sex was fine,” he admitted as we pulled into the driveway. “It was the spanking. And maybe that’s normal for some couples, but I just can’t do it. That and you didn’t even seem to care if I got off.”
“I was hurt and upset,” I sighed as I got out of the car and went to help him. When I had him in my arms, I continued. “It’s not an excuse. I know that. I just felt so betrayed and tricked into this that I wanted to hurt you the way you hurt me. I just didn’t mean for it to go like that. I’m really sorry, Ant.”
“So am I,” he said softly and snuggled against my chest. I walked us into the house and to his room. “For the record, I didn’t even know your last name or that you were a lion. You walked up and joined a conversation I was a part of, and I almost swallowed my tongue. Yes, I had dreams about you and wondered what it would be like to be with you. But that was it.”
“I have to be able to trust you,” I replied after a moment. I was careful when I laid him in the bed before stripping off our shoes and joining him. “Everything in me screamed that you wouldn’t hurt Marv. But then I just kept thinking you’d broken my trust, and I’ve known him for three years. It took me a while to catch up.”
“I understand that part, but what do we do now?” he asked hesitantly. The truth was, I didn’t have a fucking clue.
Chapter 5
“I called my business assistant, Cheryl, and told her what was going on,” I said after a little while of just holding him. “She’s going to cut all the ties I have with him and close him out of my accounts. It won’t matter that he has the key to my apartment since the movers are coming tomorrow. But do you want to press charges?”
“No, I just want us to have a real mating, and all the bullshit to stop,” he answered with a sniffle. “This is not the mating I dreamed of for three centuries, Gavin.”
“I know,” I whispered, trying to swallow the lump that was suddenly in my throat. “Do you still want to leave me? If there’s a way to break the mating and that’s what you want, I won’t fight you.”
“Can we just start over or something?” Ant asked after a few moments, turning on his side so he could throw his bum leg over mine and place his arm on my chest. “Maybe we just need a mulligan?”
“I don’t want to start over. I think if we can forgive each other, we should just move on and learn from it. And I promise never to come to our bed or touch you when I’m that angry again.”
“I can forgive you just fine,” he whispered and kissed my chest. “What you did wasn’t that big of a deal if I’d never been abused. But it instigated all these memories and emotions in me, and I panicked. I don’t ever want to be afraid of you, Gavin.”
“I don’t want that either,” I replied honestly as I ran my fingers through his silky hair. “And I want to not doubt you when you tell me something. I think we can forgive each other, but it will take time to build up what we broke.”
“Where do we begin?”
“Well, we’ll let you rest for a while, but then I suggest we actually have nice sex.”
“You mean make love?” He giggled, and I pinched the little shit’s ass.
“Yeah, that, too.” I chuckled. “And from there, Cheryl’s going to start trying to find us a new PA, and we’ve got my move tomorrow. I think we just need to take it one day at a time, Ant.”
“I can do that.” Ant yawned, and I realized I was tired, too. One of the perks of working from home was being able to nap when you needed it. Then again, one of the negatives was I could never leave work at the office, and tended to work all the time. But everything has its ups and downs.
I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep when I woke to wet heat wrapped around my cock. Gasping, I sat up in bed and witnessed the most beautiful sight in my life. Ant with his lips wrapped around my dick.
“Fuck that feels good,” I groaned as I fisted the sheets. I didn’t want to thrust up and risk hurting him. “Now I get why people like oral sex.”
“Wait, are you saying you’ve never had a blow job before?” Ant asked hesitantly after pulling off my cock.
“No, why? Is that a big deal?”
“Um, no, but why haven’t you? I mean, you’ve had sex.”
“Why go to third base when you can go all the way home?” I shrugged and motioned for him to continue. “Obviously, I was wrong.”
“Is this a lion thing? I mean, I don’t want to seem rude, but you guys seem cold,” he asked, not meeting my eyes.
“I’ll tell you if you go back to what you were doing.” I wiggled my eyebrows at him. Ant rolled his eyes and started licking my cock like a popsicle. Guess that was as good as I was getting until I talked. Not that I was complaining
really. It felt like heaven.
“Enough stalling, Gavin.”
“Yes, lions aren’t known for being warm and fuzzy,” I said with a sigh as I propped myself up on a pillow so I could watch the show. “It’s also growing up with my dad. I mean, you met him, and that was on one of his good days. My mom ran off when I was five and left me with him. It was just me and him, and all he cares about is the pride. Well, that and the Ashby legacy of me taking over.”
“On the plus side, you’re open to trying new things, and you’re already kissing and touching me.” Ant’s smile was so sweet I knew I would keep trying for him. No matter how pissed I’d been that he knew me from the last conference and never told me, he did see me and hold a candle for me. That made me feel special, which I never felt before. And we were mates. The proof of that was on my bicep.
Then it hit me. Where was Ant’s mating seal? I quickly pulled him up to me, and he let out a cute squeak. I rolled us over and started to explore his body much to his delight.
“There it is,” I gasped. It was on his right inner thigh right by his groin. I felt like a heel, a selfish lover for not having seen it before. But then I remembered we’d only had sex with me behind him since we’d mated. Though I was still feeling a heavy dose of guilt, I traced the image with my fingers. “How did I miss this?”
And then it hit me like a mother fucking freight train. Because I was a selfish prick… just like him. Just like my dad. I bolted off the bed, stumbling in the sheets and landing on my ass at the floor at the foot of the bed. Scrambling away from the bed as if it was full of deadly snakes, I didn’t stop until I hit one of the dressers. It shook, and I heard something fall, but it wasn’t registering with me.
“Gavin?” Ant asked, his eyes wide as he crawled to the edge of the bed.
I shook my head as my right hand clutched my chest. My heart was racing so fast I worried I might be having a heart attack. But I couldn’t have one of those, right? Humans had them, and I wasn’t human. I was immortal. I gasped for breath, not able to breathe as spots formed in front of my vision.