Fudging the Books

by Daryl Wood Gerber

“No champagne for me,” Cinnamon said. “It’ll go right to my head. Perrier, please.”

  Rhett said, “I’ll go with you, Bucky.”

  Once the men left the table, I said to Cinnamon, “Great job.”

  “Do you think so?”

  I gave her a curious look. “You know you’re excellent.”

  “I’m not bad.”

  “Humility becomes you.”

  “I’ll never make singing my profession.”

  “Good. We need you here. Speaking of which . . . I didn’t get to tell you everything last time we spoke.” I didn’t add, Because you hung up on me. “There’s something you really need to know.”

  Cinnamon rolled her eyes. “Not now.”

  “Then when? You don’t call,” I sassed. “You don’t write.”

  She lasered me with a stern look. “Fine. Go ahead. Make my day.”

  “Alison fired her copyeditor, Ingrid Lake, right after the cookbook club event. Your mother overheard the conversation.”

  “Why didn’t my mother tell me?” Cinnamon clenched her teeth. “Never mind. I know why. What else?”

  “When I visited Mrs. Foodie yesterday—”

  “Why did you do that?”

  “Because it was the neighborly thing to do. I was thinking about my mom—about all moms—and I thought of her. I was worried. Ingrid Lake was there. By the way, she found a First Response kit. Alison was not pregnant, just in case you hadn’t found out.”

  “We had. I told you we’re on top of things.” Cinnamon’s gaze flared with exasperation. “Anything else?”

  “Yes. Back to Ingrid . . .” I replayed Ingrid’s account of how avid she was to tell me that Alison and Dash argued over a photo spread. “According to Ingrid, Alison put Dash’s name on photos she took and used them in a cookbook.”

  “And that’s bad, why?” Cinnamon asked.

  “Because Dash’s reputation could suffer if the photos weren’t good. Luckily for him, he has a solid alibi. He was here singing at the piano bar that night. Lots of people must have seen him. As for Ingrid’s alibi—”

  “Hold it.” Cinnamon stopped me with her palm. “Dash said he was here?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Funny. I was here that night. Until closing. And I don’t remember seeing him.”

  Chapter 19

  CINNAMON LEFT THE theater to track down Dash. Rhett and I hung around on The Pier. We gobbled spicy dogs and snuggled close to watch the fireworks. Spectacular. Afterward, we returned to the cottage for a nightcap. The evening ended with some lovely kisses. He drove home, and I slept better than I had in a week.

  On Wednesday morning, I awoke feeling chipper and eager to tackle the day. After throwing on a bright red sweater and my favorite pair of twill trousers, I fed Tigger, gulped down a honey-laced fruit smoothie—heavy on the fruit—and headed to work.

  “Good morning, Jenna, dear,” Aunt Vera said as I entered The Cookbook Nook. She was sitting at the vintage table shuffling a deck of tarot cards. A client sat opposite her. “Come near.” She stacked the tarot cards on the table, tapped the top card with a fingertip, and bid me closer.

  I set Tigger on the floor, slung my purse onto the sales counter, and joined my aunt.

  She clutched my hand. Hers were clammy. “I nearly called you at midnight,” she said in a raspy whisper.

  “Why?”

  “I had the most unnerving dream. You were in it, dressed in pirate costume, and running as fast as you could. You were glancing over your shoulder.”

  My heartbeat kicked up a notch. So much for my good night’s sleep. My smoothie threatened to make a reappearance. Down, down. I urged myself to remain calm. I didn’t usually overreact when people said they had bad feelings about some aspect of my life, but when my aunt did, I took heed. “What else?”

  “Soon, the dream filled with people singing and lights exploding. Pop, pop, pop!” Aunt Vera released me and flicked her fingers with each pop. “Is something troubling you?”

  “No.” At least not as far as I knew. I cycled through my thoughts—was my brain ever at rest or empty?—and repeated, “No.”

  “Is anyone stalking you?”

  A shiver ran down my spine. “Double no.”

  “Hmm.” My aunt frowned. “Then it was nothing.” She shooed me away.

  Of course, saying it was nothing didn’t reassure me. Now I was revved up. My aunt’s dreams, like mine, could be colorful and often prophetic. Shoot. I hated tiptoeing around, looking over my shoulder. There was no reason for anyone to stalk me. I tried to shrug off my aunt’s concern. Perhaps thinking about Alison’s tragic end had triggered her dream. Unless, of course, she was picking up some psychic message, like Alison’s killer thought I knew something that could implicate him or her. Did I?

  “Yo ho!” Bailey entered the shop. She sounded chipper, but her face looked drawn and her hair was limp. She carried Hershey tucked under her arm. “Hello, winsome lass.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

  “Am I trying too hard?” she asked.

  “Perhaps a touch. Besides, Pirate Week is over. It concluded last night. I repeat, are you okay? You look, um—how to put it nicely?—ruffled.”

  “Cat troubles.” She held up Hershey and wiggled one of his paws as a greeting. He growled. “Hush, you,” she ordered. “He didn’t want to leave the apartment.”

  “Why not?”

  “I haven’t a clue. He cried all night. Is that what cats do? Cry?”

  I read that cats have about one hundred vocalizations, which they sling together to try to make us understand them because humans don’t pick up on their body language. Tigger makes all sorts of noises. A trill, which was halfway between a purr and a meow, means: Happy to see you. A growl? Definitely means back off. A chattering sound, similar to that of a squirrel? Yes, Tigger chatters at the window whenever there’s a bird outside. It means he wants out. Now!

  I said, “Maybe Hershey is feeling a little anxious. Cats need to get used to their environs.”

  Bailey shuffled Hershey around in her arms so she could stare into his eyes. “Is that what’s bothering you?”

  He yowled.

  Bailey flinched. “What does that mean?”

  “That’s a final warning. Usually before a fight begins.”

  She stretched out her arms. “Take him.” Hershey’s legs dangled beneath him. “Help me.”

  I grabbed the cat. He craned his head, his gaze aimed at the floor. Tigger stood beneath us. “Aha!” I said. “Perhaps Hershey is feeling intimidated because he has to share space with another cat. Don’t worry. He’ll find his niche.” I set him on the floor.

  Tigger pounced toward him. Hershey darted in the opposite direction and leaped into his chair. He tucked his tail around him.

  “Tigger,” I said. “Cool it.”

  My kitten hunkered down, head lower than his haunches. He wanted to play, but he would wait for Hershey to come around. He had learned a tad of self-control around children.

  Bailey tossed her purse onto a shelf beneath the sales counter. “Wow! I never knew a cat could have so much attitude.” Over her shoulder, she said to Hershey, “You’ll have to move when the children get here, buddy.” The cat didn’t deign to look her way. Bailey huffed and slumped forward, both elbows on the counter. “Now what?” she said to me. “Is it something I did?”

  “No. Sometimes cats are aloof.”

  “I want a friendly cat. Like me. Like Tigger.”

  “Leave Hershey be,” I said. “He’s either like you, or he isn’t. You can’t change him.”

  She grumbled her disappointment. “What do you need me to do around here?”

  For the next hour, we straightened and dusted bookshelves. Mid-morning, as I organized the trays of chocolate swirl muffins in the breezeway that Chef Phil had brought in for our guests, I spied Dash entering the café with a raven-haired, statuesque beauty. Why was he still at large? Apparently, Cinnamon hadn’t apprehended him.


  I said to Bailey, “Back in a sec,” and I hurried to the café. No, I didn’t plan to make a citizen’s arrest, but I did want to find out if Cinnamon had interrogated him and cleared him.

  The aroma of fresh-baked muffins, cornbread, and croissants filled the air. My salivary glands went into high alert. If given the opportunity, I would’ve devoured an entire basket of the goodies. A smoothie was not enough to keep a girl going.

  Across the room, the hostess was showing Dash and his date to a table for two. Dash was wearing the same outfit he had worn when I first met him. His date sported a summery number more appropriate for one hundred degree, not fifty-five degree, weather. Dash gallantly pulled the chair out for his date. He sat in the opposite chair. He said something to the hostess and grinned.

  The hostess’s hand flew to her chest. She did a U-turn and raced to the podium. She reached for a pair of menus.

  I stopped her and said, “I’ll deliver those.” I wasn’t sure what I would say to Dash; I’d wing it. I approached the table with the menus. “Good morning,” was all that came out of my mouth. How clever. Not.

  Dash acknowledged me with a nod.

  I handed out the menus. “Say, Dash, has Chief Pritchett contacted you?” Again, real slick. Where had my gift of gab gone?

  Dash raised an eyebrow. “No, why would she need to?”

  “I think you should touch base with her.”

  “What about?” He set his menu aside and seared me with a look.

  I glanced around the café. Business was good. Diners filled all the tables. Dash wouldn’t assail me with this many witnesses around. Not that he would need to hurt me. He very well might be innocent. “You and Alison argued,” I said, feeling comfortable telling him what I knew. “She published a cookbook using her own photos and attributed them to you.”

  “Yeah, so?” Dash lifted a water glass and downed half of the contents. “That was months ago. What’s your point?”

  “Your reputation was on the line.”

  Dash set the glass down and leaned back in his chair. “Are you asking whether that made me angry enough to kill her?”

  His date’s eyes fluttered.

  “It’s okay, lass.” Dash leaned forward and patted her hand. “I didn’t kill anybody.” He returned his gaze to me. “Look, what Alison did was wrong, but it didn’t cost me a job. Not one. Her photos weren’t good—in fact they stank—but in the end, I was able to convince a couple of employers that they weren’t mine. Big deal.”

  “Why would she do that to you?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “I asked her the same thing, and she said, she had wanted different angles, ASAP. I was working on another shoot and wasn’t available. Publishing is all about meeting deadlines.” He shrugged again. “She made a mistake. I forgave her and put it in the past. ‘As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.’ Colossians 3:13.”

  I wasn’t sure what impressed me more, that he could forgive Alison or that he knew biblical passages by heart. “You forgave her because you liked her.”

  “Yeah.”

  “A lot.”

  “I told you—”

  “A lot,” I repeated. “In fact, you loved her.”

  Dash ran his tongue along his teeth and clicked at the end. “Yeah, so?”

  “Did you love her enough to forgive her when she put your book about tattoos on hold?”

  “Where did you hear—” Dash scrubbed his chin. “Never mind. I know where. Ingrid Lake. She’s got a mouth, that girl does. What a conniver. Always plotting, always planning.” He thumped the table with his palm. “Look, Alison put a ton of books on hold. Bailey’s mom’s book. The Wine Country book. Another book by Coco Chastain. Some vegetarian piece of garbage by a well-known chef. Postponing projects isn’t a big deal. Contracts are made; contracts can be broken. Alison was paring back. The erratic economy is making the publishing business quite volatile.” Dash folded his arms across his chest. The tattoos on his forearms bulged. “I understood, and I was willing to be patient. Alison was my biggest, steadiest employer when it came to my photography work. What was I going to say? I’d walk? Fat chance.”

  “At the cookbook club event, she touted your work. What happened?”

  “During dessert, she made a snap decision. She pulled the plug. Who knows what got into her? She could be quite impulsive. Funny thing. That’s what I liked—” Dash hesitated. “Loved about her.” He pitched forward and handed a menu to his date. “I didn’t hold a grudge. Alison agreed to give me back the rights so I could shop it elsewhere. Like in The Godfather, it’s ‘just business.’”

  Actually, Michael Corleone said to Sonny that it was “strictly business.” My husband had been a Godfather aficionado—I must have seen the film fifty times—but I wouldn’t quibble. I said, “Coco found another publisher to publish hers.”

  “Bully for her. I’ve already got a few bites of my own.” Dash gestured to the menu. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to order, then I’m hitting the road. Back to San Francisco. Back to the real world.” He shoved his hand into one of the outside pockets of his photographer’s vest to fetch a pair of glasses.

  When he reached into another for a swatch of silk to rub smudges off his glasses, I flashed on the night I had met him at the café. He was taking pictures of Coco and Alison nonstop and paused only to wipe the lens of his camera. Soon after, Tigger, the scamp, slipped into Dash’s pockets and stole strips of contact prints. Dash snatched them back. What was on them? Something incriminating? I saw a set of strips peeking from an inside pocket of his vest. I recalled Alison saying Dash wouldn’t go anywhere without them. He was paranoid that someone might swipe them.

  “I’d like to see those contact prints.” I pointed.

  “Show me your badge,” Dash said.

  I made a move toward them.

  He tossed the menu to the floor and gripped my wrist like a vice. “Don’t!”

  I winced. His grip was strong. His eyes blazed with fury. You’re in a public place cycled through my head. Relax.

  “Dash, let me go.”

  “Why should I? You’ve got some nerve.”

  His date shocked me by sliding her hand across his chest and reaching into the pocket. She pulled out the contact prints and gasped. “What are these?” She flashed the images at me.

  I caught a quick glimpse. There were myriad black-and-white images of Alison in various states of undress, as seen through gauzy curtains or slatted shades.

  “You pervert,” the date said.

  “No,” Dash protested. “You don’t understand.”

  There were also images of Alison the night she died, her back to the camera lens. She was sitting at her computer, staring at the screen while bracing her forehead with her left hand.

  “Wow,” I whispered. Dash hadn’t been simply in love with Alison; he had been obsessed with her.

  “I understand enough,” the date hissed and hurled the contact prints at Dash. “Good-bye and good riddance.” She bolted from her chair and hurried out of the restaurant.

  Dash glowered at me while shuffling the contact prints into a stack. “You,” he muttered.

  “Did Alison realize you were taking those photographs of her?” I said. “Did she threaten to expose you? Is that why you killed her?”

  “I didn’t do it.” Dash’s voice grew gruff and full of emotion. “I told you. I have an alibi.”

  “Which can be debunked. The chief of police was at the karaoke place the night Alison was killed. She didn’t see you there.”

  Dash’s gaze turned as dark as the ocean at midnight. “Okay, I lied. I wasn’t there. I was photographing Alison, but I swear I didn’t kill her. You’ve got to believe me. I loved her.”

  “You are a voyeur.”

  “No. I . . . okay, yes, but only of Alison.”

  “Why her?”

  “Because she got me.” His voice flooded with emotion. “She understood me. Every aspect of me. She didn’t mind that I was offbea
t. She didn’t mind the multiple tattoos and my weird quirks.”

  “Did you tell her about this?” I shot a finger at the contact prints in his hand.

  Dash’s eyes fluttered. “That night, after I took these photos, I went back to Sterling’s house to develop them. I intended to tell Alison the next day. I was going to admit my feelings and show her the photos. They’re gorgeous shots. They’re art. Look at them. Closely.” He spread them, using his thumb. “Alison didn’t think she was beautiful. She felt she was too large, too mannish looking. I wanted her to know how exquisite she was.” A sob escaped his throat. “I thought seeing herself as I saw her might make her feel, you know . . . good.”

  Or downright creepy.

  “Can Sterling corroborate your whereabouts?”

  “No. He was out with his new boyfriend.” Dash’s mouth turned downward. “Ah, man. If only I’d stuck around Coco’s house that night. I might have seen the killer.”

  Chapter 20

  I WASN’T SURE I believed Dash, but it wasn’t my job to determine the truthfulness of his claim. My duty was to inform the police of his whereabouts. I hurried back to The Cookbook Nook and fetched my cell phone from my pocket to dial the precinct.

  Bailey bolted to me and gripped my wrist. “Not so fast. Put down the phone. What is up with you running off again?”

  I told her about Dash’s contact prints.

  “Ew.” She squinched up her nose. “He is definitely a perv. Okay, call.”

  “Thank you for your permission.”

  I couldn’t reach Cinnamon; I settled for Deputy Appleby. He listened patiently and said he was on it.

  After I disconnected, I dumped my phone back in my pocket and rounded up my aunt. She, Bailey, and I set about dismantling all the pirate things we had put out for Pirate Week.

  Aunt Vera moved the Caribbean cookbooks to the foreign food section while Bailey collected the pirate-themed books and set them on a special sales table. We couldn’t send them back to the publishers; they were nonreturnable. A discount of fifty percent would make them popular. If not, we would store them for next year’s Pirate Week festivities. Cookbooks never grow old. Well, of course, some do, like those from the Middle Ages, but who needed a recipe for roasted peacock cooked over an open hearth? Actually, I knew a couple of clients who might love a Middle Ages cookbook, and made a mental note to track one down.