1931 The Grand Punk Railroad: Local

by Ryohgo Narita

  “No, um, I know, I know, I really do know. It’s just like you say, Fang and Jon. But listen, it wasn’t okay when I came by this evening, either, so I was wondering when we’d be able to talk…”

  The Asian man was Fang, and the Irishman’s name was Jon. A duo consisting of a Chinese immigrant and an Irish one. According to the common sense of the day, it was an impossible combination.

  Both men were rogues who’d caused trouble in their immigrant communities.

  Jacuzzi had indiscriminately adopted people like these as companions, and before he knew it, he’d become the central figure of a gang of delinquents. It wasn’t as though he’d wanted to be the boss, but Jon and Fang and his other friends never objected to it. That said, they didn’t show him any particular respect, either.

  “Well, there’s no help for it. There are always customers in here. Plus, there are people who keep ordering Chinese, so I can’t get away. If I leave, the kitchen chief’s gonna kill me.”

  As he spoke, Fang heaved a sigh. As if in response, Jon gave a big sigh, too.

  “I’m the only bartender here, and as long as there’s someone in the counter seats, I can’t leave, either. Show some understanding.”

  “Waaah… Does this train ignore Prohibition entirely?”

  “Normally, yeah. We’re completely dry today, though. Today’s conductor is really strict about laws.”

  “Then there’s no work for a bartender, is there?”

  At Jacuzzi’s question, Jon shook his head slightly.

  “That couple’s been ordering nothing but honey green tea for a while now. All they order are nonalcoholic drinks with honey. Just give up.”

  “Nn. Those customers. The ones who’ve been camped here since right after departure, ordering nothing but Chinese food.”

  As Fang spoke, he gestured with his jaw toward the end of the counter.

  Jacuzzi looked that way. A strange couple was sitting there.

  In a word, the man was a Western gunman. He wore an old-fashioned vest and coat, and there were several holsters strapped to his waist and chest. However, not one of them held a gun. He carried a lasso on his back, too, so it was hard to tell whether he was a gunman or a cowboy. On top of that, for some reason, he wore three sheriff’s badges.

  As if to match the man’s costume, the woman was also dressed like someone out of a Western: She looked like a saloon dancing girl from a hundred years ago. Her hair was straight, and she wore a red, Spanish-style dancing costume and a bright-red, broad-brimmed hat.

  The two of them suited the atmosphere of their location, but they seemed far removed from the atmosphere of the era. The couple was creating their own unique world at the corner of the counter.

  “Or do you want to go run them off for us, Jacuzzi?”

  “I-I’m kinda scared. What if they’re weird people?!”

  “I don’t want to hear that from a guy with a tattooed face.”

  Jon delivered a perfectly natural verbal jab.

  “Th-that’s so mean…”

  As Jacuzzi began showing signs of waterworks, Nice cut into the conversation from behind him.

  “Well, don’t worry about it, Jacuzzi. Never mind that; why don’t you try talking to those two? They look interesting.”

  “N-Nice, ‘they look interesting’? That isn’t a real reason.”

  “They might be movie stars, you know, dressed like that.”

  At that, Jacuzzi took another good look at the couple in the corner.

  “Now that you mention it…”

  “You see? It would be kinda cool to be friends with movie stars, wouldn’t it?”

  Hearing this from her made him feel like trying it, and Jacuzzi timidly approached the couple.

  Watching him go, Jon muttered to Nice:

  “Nice, don’t pick on Jacuzzi too much.”

  In response, changing her attitude completely from what it had been with her boss, Nice turned back to Jon and Fang with words that were too courteous.

  “It isn’t like that, Master Jon. I merely wish Jacuzzi to become more sociable.”

  “Man, you haven’t changed at all, Nice,” Fang said. “That overly polite speech of yours is still the same, too.”

  “Then it’s as I suspected: Courtesy does not suit my appearance…?”

  As she rubbed her eye patch, which was embellished with gold thread, Nice nodded, looking a little embarrassed.

  “Uh… No, that’s not what I meant.”

  “Frankly,” Jon cut in, “no, it doesn’t, but that’s also one of your virtues, you know. …To the point where it makes me wonder why you talk so casually to Jacuzzi.”

  “It’s because he says he won’t stand for anything but casual speech. He’s quite stubborn about such things.”

  With that, Nice smiled happily, then turned her gaze toward the boy in question, who’d engaged the couple.

  The pair behind the bar also glanced at Jacuzzi, then muttered critically:

  “Stubborn, huh…?”

  When they looked, their leader seemed to be begging the couple for something with tear-filled eyes.

  “You meant ‘spoiled brat,’ right?”

  Taking the seat beside the mystery couple, stiff with tension, Jacuzzi spoke:

  “Um, uh, erm, g-g-g-good day. Oh, no, I guess it’s ‘good evening.’ Um, I, er, excuse me, I’m sorry.”

  When he didn’t know what to say and it came out incoherent, the man finally seemed to notice him; he stopped the hand he’d been eating with and turned toward the boy.

  As he chewed, his mouth working, he stared steadily at Jacuzzi’s face, and as soon as he swallowed, he said:

  “Miria, what’ll I do? A guy I don’t know just randomly apologized to me.”

  At that, from behind him, a woman’s perky voice spoke up.

  “In terms of winning and losing, I guess you won!”

  “I see. A win, huh?! Great! I don’t really get it, but that was a good match. Thanks!”

  At that, he abruptly took Jacuzzi’s hand and shook it firmly.

  What’ll I do? They really are weird people.

  Jacuzzi begged Nice and Jon for help with tear-filled eyes. However, Nice only gave him an easygoing wave. Hearing the cook’s yell from the kitchen—“Do your jobs, dirtbags!”—Jon and Fang hastily returned to their own tasks.

  “Uh, umm…”

  “Still, mister, that’s really cool! I’ve never seen anybody with a tattoo on their face before!”

  “Yes, talk about culture shock!”

  “Could you possibly be a movie star?!”

  “That’s amazing!”

  If things were like this, their positions were the complete opposite of what he’d expected. Anxiety began to erode Jacuzzi’s thought patterns with breathtaking speed.

  “Nuh-nuh-no, I, um, I’m not, I’m, uh, I’m not a movie star or anything, I just make and sell liquor… No, that’s not it, I lied, um, erm, it’s a lie, it isn’t true, I’m just a delinquent, or, um, something, and anyway, I’m just a normal person, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

  Although there wasn’t a single reason for him to apologize, he teared up and bowed repeatedly.

  “Hey, Miria. He apologized to me again.”

  “That’s two wins in a row!”

  “I see… To think you’d let me win twice. You’re a really good guy!”

  “Yeep……huh?”

  “You’re a good person!”

  “Come, come, don’t cry. When good people cry, it makes us cry.”

  “Yes, it’s contagious!”

  When Jacuzzi raised his head, there were tears in the eyes of the couple in front of him as well.

  As they held a handkerchief out to him, he realized that this had gotten rather strange.

  “It’s all right, mister. Dry your tears and have some of this Chinese food.”

  “It’s all-you-can-eat!”

  From the kitchen, he heard Fang’s voice say, “No, it’s not!” When Jacuzzi looked bewildered,
they just went ahead and shoved food into his mouth.

  “Mgrph…”

  Carried away by the current of events, in spite of himself, he swallowed.

  The taste of the steamed chicken Fang had made spread through his mouth. Come to think of it, this was the first time he’d eaten anything Fang had cooked.

  “…It’s good.”

  Before he knew it, he’d stopped crying.

  “And so then I just let him have it. ‘Hang it all,’ I said!”

  “Wow, Isaac, amazing, that’s amazing!”

  “Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

  “Ah! Jacuzzi laughed out loud. I haven’t heard that in forever!”

  By now, the dining car counter had turned into the site of a miniature banquet.

  At some point, Nice had joined the conversation as well, and they were making the atmosphere in the dining car even more cheerful.

  Although the night had begun to deepen, the dining car was as crowded as ever. However, there were no members of the black orchestra or the white-suited group to be seen.

  “By the way, Mr. Isaac, you haven’t ordered anything except meat for a while now.”

  Speaking with startling frankness, Jacuzzi pointed out that his orders were lopsided.

  Nice had never seen Jacuzzi be so fearless around people he’d just met. No doubt he’d taken that much of a shine to the strange couple; the fact that he wasn’t afraid showed how much he trusted them.

  To think they’d get so far with Jacuzzi in such a short time…

  What in the world were these two? Nice felt a little jealous, but more than that, she’d begun to like the couple as well.

  “Oh, meat? It’s fine, no worries. After all, this is beef.”

  “Domestic beef!”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Well, cows are herbivores, right? That means, if you eat meat from those cows, you’re eating both meat and grass!”

  “Wow! Isaac, you’re really smart!”

  “Huh… Really…?”

  Ignoring Jacuzzi, who seemed puzzled, Isaac and Miria kept whooping it up in their own little world.

  “Right, that’s right, if you eat something that ate something, they say you eat that other thing, too. It’s not just food, either: If you pick up something that already had something, it all belongs to you! For example, if somebody picks up a bag that has lots of money in it, that person has both the money and the bag!”

  “Whee, they’re rich!”

  “Yes, in the Far East, I believe the law is stated this way! Erm, ‘Maybe you did, but—’”

  “‘—I ate you!’”

  “Wow. Is that right… ‘Maybe you did, but I ate you,’ huh?”

  “That’s great, Jacuzzi. You heard something interesting!”

  Having learned a rather mistaken tidbit of Eastern knowledge, Jacuzzi happily stuffed his mouth with beef.

  A familiar impact ran through his back.

  “Mghk-ghk-gak!”

  Swallowing a piece of beef he hadn’t managed to chew thoroughly, he hastily washed it down with some water that had been nearby.

  Then, from behind him, a voice that was also familiar flew his way:

  “Aah! Mister, again…! I’m really sorry!”

  When he turned around, coughing, there was the boy he’d met before boarding. The one thing that was different from earlier was that he had a girl about his age beside him.

  “Oh, no, it’s okay, it’s fine, I’m completely fine. What about you two? Are you all right?”

  The boy nodded, smiling just the way he had earlier.

  The girl hid behind the boy, gazing timidly at Jacuzzi’s tattoo and Nice’s rough eye patch.

  “Ah-ha-ha. If you’re okay, everything’s fine. Is that girl your little sister? Hhrk…”

  His throat still hurt a little, but Jacuzzi forced a smile. Possibly because he’d noticed this, the boy apologized one more time—“I’m sorry”—and then answered Jacuzzi’s question.

  “Uh-uh, she isn’t. She’s my friend. I just met her; we’re in the same room!”

  The girl also nodded at his words, silently. Her eyes were still fixed on Jacuzzi’s tattoo. Apparently, to an ordinary kid, Jacuzzi looked a bit scary.

  Just then, a woman appeared behind the children.

  “Excuse me. I’m afraid my daughter’s been rude to you. I do beg your pardon.”

  She was probably around thirty years old. The clothes the lady wore were expensive without seeming pretentious. Her well-bred speech didn’t hold a shred of diffidence or contempt. It only soaked quietly into Jacuzzi and the others’ hearts.

  Calling her daughter’s name, the lady scolded her mildly:

  “Mary, you mustn’t look at others’ faces as if they frighten you.”

  “Th-that’s telling it like it is…”

  Because the words had been spoken in a voice like that, Jacuzzi couldn’t get mad or cry; all he could do was smile wryly.

  “Oh! I beg your pardon; how could I…”

  “Oh, no, I, uh, I’m the one who should apologize!”

  “Why?”

  Failing to hear Jon’s reasonable verbal jab, Jacuzzi once again plunged straight into crybaby mode.

  “Miria, they’re both apologizing. What happens in a case like this?”

  “A referee call!”

  “I see. So the result of the match depends on us!”

  “It’s a huge responsibility!”

  Isaac and Miria were also saying irresponsible things.

  Fed up with watching this, Nice changed the subject, intending to throw them a rope:

  “Are you traveling as a family?”

  Showing no fear of Nice’s eye patch, the lady answered; her expression was mild.

  “Yes, my daughter and I are on our way to meet my husband. We’re sharing a room with this boy, and we thought we’d go have dinner together, but all the seats seem to be taken.”

  At that point, a question suddenly struck Nice, and she asked it:

  “Is the little boy by himself?”

  “Yes, he’s—oh, good gracious. I haven’t asked his name yet.”

  Hearing this, the boy gave his name, a bit bashfully.

  “My name is Czeslaw Meyer—”

  Speaking that hard-to-pronounce name, the boy paused for a moment, then continued:

  “—Please call me Czes. I’m on my way to New York to see my family.”

  Next, the lady and the girl paid their respects as well.

  “I’m Natalie Beriam, and this is my daughter… Go on, Mary.”

  Prompted by her mother, the girl timidly stepped forward.

  “I’m Mary Beriam.”

  She kept glancing at Jacuzzi’s and Nice’s faces from time to time; they really did seem to bother her. She didn’t seem very interested in the Western gunman right beside them.

  After that, as the circumstances seemed to call for it, Jacuzzi, Isaac, and the rest also introduced themselves, and the perimeter of the banquet widened to include a bit more of the car.

  “Czes, you bumped into Jacuzzi’s back a little earlier, too, didn’t you?”

  Patting Czes’s head, Nice smiled cheerfully with her one eye.

  “Mister, I’m really sorry.”

  “No, really, it’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  As he spoke with Czes, Jacuzzi gained quite a lot of mental leeway… Although it was pitiful that he couldn’t manage that sort of leeway with anyone who wasn’t a child.

  At that point, abruptly, Isaac and Miria spoke loudly:

  “That’s right. If you’d done something bad, the Rail Tracer would have eaten you already!”

  “Chomp! Just like that!”

  “—That’s how my old man used to threaten me, anyway.”

  “It frightened you, didn’t it!”

  “Huh? The R-Rail Tracer? Wh-what’s that?”

  Maybe because he’d instinctively sensed that it was something scary, Jacuzzi’s expression and tone abruptly c
hanged to those of fear.

  “What, you don’t know about it, Jacuzzi? You see, the Rail Tracer is…”

  “…And so, if you tell this story on a train…it comes to that train, too. The Rail Tracer!”

  “Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!”

  At Isaac’s story, Miria gave a fake-sounding scream.

  “~~~~~~!”

  Meanwhile, Jacuzzi gave a wordless shriek, while the rest of the group wore expressions that seemed to say, Yeah, that’s a pretty common story.

  “Th-th-th-that’s awful! We’re gonna disappear! Wh-wh-what do we do?!”

  As if advising Jacuzzi—who was actually scared—Isaac slowly began to tell the end of the story.

  “Relax, Jacuzzi. There’s just one way to keep the Rail Tracer from coming!”

  “Yes, only one!”

  On hearing this, Jacuzzi’s face lit up.

  “R-r-really? T-t-tell me what it is! Hurry! Hurry, hurry, hurryyy!”

  “Sure thing! Listen, in order to be saved, you… Uh, in order to be saved— Hmm. In order to be saved, see…”

  Dark clouds began to gather over Jacuzzi’s hope.

  “In order to be saved… What was it you had to do, Miria?”

  “Who knows? I’d never heard that story before, either!”

  You mean you chimed in like that when you didn’t know the story? Nice and the others quipped silently.

  Of course, for Jacuzzi, this was no time for smart remarks.

  “N-n-n-noooo! Th-th-th-th-this is terrible! I-i-if you don’t hurry up and remember, then—! If you don’t, we’ll all die, we’ll disappear!”

  Jacuzzi was trembling in earnest, and his teeth were chattering loudly. In contrast, Jon the bartender muttered in a very calm tone:

  “I’ve heard that story before.”

  “R-r-r-really? What do we do?! What do we need to do?!”

  “Nah, I forget what you’re supposed to do, too.”

  “Whaaaaat?! Don’t do this to me, Jon!”

  “Now, hang on. Calm down, Mr. Customer. I heard it from the conductor on this train, so just ask him. There are two of them on board; the young one’s the one to ask.”

  No sooner had he heard those words than Jacuzzi clambered down from his chair and took off.

  When he’d gone a little distance, Jacuzzi turned around, forced his lips to curve, and yelled to Isaac and the others.