How was it possible that I hadn’t exploded yet?
Matthias’ lips moved from my mouth, to my collarbone, to the tips of my breasts. He covered each one with his mouth and sucked. The spiral of pleasure that twisted through me was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. And the fact that he could do all that while still thrusting was marvelous.
Something inside me was ready to break, and I couldn’t wait for it to happen. I wanted to shatter into a million pieces, right there on that bed.
And with one more powerful thrust, I did.
Pure bliss thundered through my body, making every cell explode and sparkle like a fourth of July fireworks display, bringing me a pleasure I’d never experienced before in my life. Until that moment, I hadn’t even realized that I’d never before had an orgasm.
Now, there was no doubt.
And it wasn’t even over.
My orgasm continued to crash over me—dragging me down into its depths until a blinding white flash behind my eyelids left me in a pool of darkness. Only the pulsing of my muscles and the sweet release remained. Only pleasure.
It was finally clear to me what I’d been missing before. I now understood what all the fuss was about. With a few strokes of his body, Matthias had opened my eyes to a world I had never really understood before.
No wonder people loved sex. No wonder our whole society was obsessed with it. That freefall into oblivion was the most alive I’d ever felt in my life. The most I’d ever connected with the nerves in my body. I learned that if I let them, they would sing for me. We would make beautiful music.
And this wild and sexy man was tonight’s composer.
With a loud grunt, Matthias reached his own crescendo. He fell still overtop of me, though his chest heaved with the effort of breathing.
I couldn’t believe it. I just had sex with a complete stranger. A stripper. And it was the craziest, filthiest sex I’d ever had. And by far the best.
I couldn’t stop the smile that overtook my face. I didn’t want to. I’d earned it. Matthias had earned it.
Nonetheless, I was relieved that I wouldn’t have to see his face again after this. I was grateful to the man for teaching me that sex could be a transcendent experience—imagine that—but also knew I’d burn redder than a sunburnt lobster if I had to face the things we’d said and done again.
He had spouted filthy words at me with his fingers buried in my pussy, and I loved it.
I could never tell anyone.
6
Ally
An angry beeping noise broke through my morning haze, prompting me to send a patting hand over to my bedside table to turn it off. Normally this would be the time where I hit snooze and continued as if I hadn’t heard it for the next half hour or so.
Not today.
This morning, I was feeling better rested than I had in days. Weeks. My eyelids flicked open effortlessly, and I didn’t even need to blink the sleep away. I sat up and stretched my arms wide.
Was this just another side effect of good sex that I’d been missing out on? If so, I could get used to sleeping like a log every night. Well, every night I had good sex, anyway.
I frowned at the thought.
I would likely never see Matthias again.
That wasn’t a bad thing, though. I mean, he may have rocked my body in ways I didn’t even know it could be rocked, but he and I were two pieces from the opposite ends of a puzzle. We didn’t go together, and our lives couldn’t be more different. We both knew it was a one-time thing. We didn’t exchange information and it wasn’t like we ran in the same social circles. If we did, I probably would have never built up the nerve to go through with it in the first place.
And that was okay.
All the same, I’d spent a fair amount of time thinking about that particular puzzle piece before going to sleep last night. Even now, just the memory of how he drove into me had me unconsciously licking my lips and smiling. If we’d never met, how long would I have gone without knowing how amazing sex could be? Would I have ever figured it out?
More importantly, when would I next have a chance at such a mind-blowing experience?
Not anytime soon, I wagered.
Still, I remained convinced that it was good thing I wasn’t going to see him again. After what we’d done, what we’d whispered after barely knowing each other—I couldn’t deal with that kind of embarrassment.
But would I miss the pleasure he’d given to me? Oh, hell yes.
I sighed.
Time to get up.
I had a couple hours before I had to be at work, so I decided to make good use of my morning and make a healthy breakfast. Maybe afterward I’d do a crossword or something crazy like that. With so much free time on my hands and so much energy, who knew what I could accomplish.
Candace wasn’t awake yet. Or, if she was, she hadn’t dragged herself out of bed yet. Either way, the kitchen and living room were unoccupied, which was for the best.
I wasn’t too keen on running into her this morning. Not after ducking out of the party early like I did. But what was I supposed to do? Go back to socializing when there was nothing but a pile of jelly where my legs used to be? Not likely.
I started heating up a frying pan on the stove and grabbed some red and green peppers from the fridge. I loved omelets but never had time to make them in the morning. Until today.
It was amazing what an unnaturally good mood last night had left me in. I pictured Matthias and the smug grin he would wear if he saw me like this. It only made the sweet ache between my legs throb more.
My good God that man was hot.
I nearly burned my eggs thinking about him but managed to rescue them at the last minute. The lapse in attention was so unlike me. None of this was like me.
But again, that was okay. I wanted to change. To live a little. Experience something fun without worrying about consequences and I did. No strings attached. Now I’d be able to go back to my old life without regret.
Candace emerged from her room just as I was finishing tidying up from my breakfast. “Morning, roomie.”
I smiled tensely. “Morning.”
Please don’t bring up the party.
She strolled over to the fridge and grabbed her breakfast yoghurt. She swore by them. “How are you feeling?”
It was some effort to remember that I was supposed to be a little under the weather. “Oh, you know.” I shrugged and made a noncommittal hand gesture. “Pretty good now, but I don’t know if it’ll come back.”
Candace pouted. “It’s a shame you had to leave early last night, but I understand. You looked super sweaty and flushed. Must’ve been one of those twenty-four hour bugs. You look a lot better now.”
“Yeah.” I averted my gaze, favoring the counter instead. I’d always detested these counters, with their ugly brown pattern. “Must’ve been.”
I heard a drawer open and close across from me. Candace was getting a spoon. It was time for me to make my exit before anything uncomfortable came up.
“It really is a shame though. You had a secret admirer.”
I looked up sharply. “What?”
“You heard me.” She raised a brow, spoon poised over the top of her yoghurt. “There was a gentleman there who seemed mighty stricken by you.”
“Who was it?” I feigned nonchalance by scrubbing at an invisible spot on the counter with my sleeve. “I mean, there were only three men at that party, but I’m not sure I’d call any of them a gentleman.” Certainly not Matthias. Gentlemen didn’t speak with such filthy mouths in the bedroom, did they?
Candace laughed. “Well, then maybe you don’t really want to know…”
“Don’t be coy, Candace,” I grumbled. “It’s not a good look for you.”
“Everything’s a good look for me. I’ve got neutral skin tone.”
I scowled at her but couldn’t let it go. “Who was this secret admirer?” I knew who it had to be of course, but for some reason I was desperate for her to confirm it. Es
pecially since it seemed so odd that he would be looking for me afterwards. He was a player. I’d expected him to forget about me the moment I left that bedroom.
Something flashed in my roommate’s eyes. “You’re getting awfully surly about this,” she remarked. “Is there somebody in particular you would like it to be?”
I struggled not to back away from her as the blush crept up my neck and across my cheeks. Dammit. Why did I have to have such a poor poker face? I opened my mouth to sputter out some sort of lame excuse that would have likely only made the situation worse, but Candace broke down into laughter.
“Relax, chickpea. I’m just messing with you.” She waved her spoon at my face. “You get flustered so easily. Maybe that’s why Matthias was asking about you.”
“Matthias?”
A hot spike of adrenaline rushed through me. My fingers clenched involuntarily and a slight smile touched the sides of my lips before I could stop myself. I hoped Candace missed noticing.
“Sounds like you know which one he was.” Her lip curled in a smug smile. “Interesting.”
I shook my head vehemently. “No. Nothing interesting about that. I chatted with him for a couple of minutes before I left, that’s all.”
Even I wouldn’t buy this.
Candace finally scooped out her first spoonful of yoghurt. I needed to end this conversation soon and escape.
Her hazel eyes levelled on me. “He was pretty dreamy. I would have been thrilled to have a chance to… chat with him.”
I swallowed. Much as I didn’t want my friend to know what I had done, most of my brainpower at that moment was focused around the fact that Matthias had asked about me. He was supposed to forget me. I’d expected him to maybe even end up going home with another woman. What was I supposed to do with the knowledge that I’d stayed on his mind long past my due?
I strolled over to the fridge as I thought about it. I wasn’t hungry so I just grabbed the orange juice from the door and poured myself a glass. Candace watched me the whole time. I could feel her gaze sticking to my back like hot tar.
After taking a drink, I glanced back over at her. “What did he say?” I tried to make my tone as flat and disinterested as possible. For all Candace knew, he was just a stripper at a party who liked the look of one of the guests and asked about her.
Certainly not a man following up on a booty call he’d just gotten done with a few minutes before.
Candace’s smug grin had not wavered an inch. If anything, it only grew with my question. She looked like the Grinch right after he’d stolen Christmas.
When she offered no further comment, I left her in the kitchen.
She obviously didn’t know anything substantial, otherwise she’d have woken me up by jumping on my bed or something just as ridiculous. She was just teasing me, probably because of the fuss I made about going to the party and then finding out what the entertainment of the night was in the first place. To then end up the apple of one of the stripper’s eye probably tickled her to no end.
But that was nothing compared to what it did for me. If she only knew the half of it.
7
Matthias
What time is it?
I cracked open one eyelid, careful not to let in too much of the sun that poured through my bedroom window like molten lava. Sometimes, when I was just tired enough and the sun was just right, I forgot where I was and assumed I’d woken up at home.
Sometimes realizing where I was disappointed me, which led me to reminding myself that this was home, now.
But today being on the other side of the world wasn’t the surprise.
I was hungover and tired as hell, which was normal for me after a night working a private party. What would have been more normal, would have been waking in that state next to a beautiful woman. But the silken sheets next to me were empty.
And that was the morning’s surprise.
Maybe she went out for coffee?
Or maybe I slept alone?
That wasn’t like me at all. It had almost become a routine. Go out and party, wake up next to a hot piece of ass, wake her up by sliding my face or cock between her legs. Try to squeeze in another round of sex in before sending her on her merry way. Then I’d get up and do it all over again.
But this morning, my empty bed told another story that my hazy brain finally started to fill in the gaps to.
I groaned and sank my head further into the pillow. Ally.
How could I have forgotten, even momentarily, when she’d been all I could think of the night before? A girl unlike any of my other conquests. One that left me captivated the moment after she’d disappeared from my life. Why was that? Was it because she left me, instead of the other way around? That was certainly noteworthy, but I had a feeling it was more than just that.
I was being dumb. It couldn’t be more than that.
There was never anything more.
Needing to clear my head, I heaved myself out of bed and lumbered toward the bedroom door. Although my progress was slow but deliberate, the benefit of such a small apartment meant I was able to reach my goal of a cup of coffee in just a few short strides.
“Good morning, Matthias.”
There were also drawbacks to such a small apartment.
Veronika was perched at the breakfast bar, holding a mug of steaming coffee and looking as perky as ever. Which wasn’t terribly perky, but was a good deal more alert than me.
“Good morning, Veronika.”
I grabbed the pot and poured myself a cup, feeling her gaze on my back. I bristled but intentionally ignored her. I had a feeling I already knew what she was thinking.
Sure. Laugh it up Veronika. I acted like an idiot last night.
Her neutral expression didn’t fool me. She always looked neutral. It was one of her greatest strengths. Despite being tall and imposing, with pale features and ashen hair that often sent her fading into the background—a fact she knew and used to her advantage—I knew Veronika well enough to spot the interest in her eyes. Not judgement, not amusement even. Just interest.
“Did you have fun last night?” she asked flatly.
I sent a gulp of hot black caffeine down the back of my throat, masking my expression of pain as it burned the whole way down.
“No more than usual.” I shrugged. “Same chicks, different day.”
She rolled her eyes, which was her version of a punchy emotional display. “You’re starting to sound so American.”
“This may not have occurred to you, ma petite chou-fleur, but we’re in America now.”
I saw the irritation in her eyes. At least, I thought I did. Others might mistake the expression for something closer to boredom. Most of the conversations I had with Veronika were wordless, but right now I was fairly confident that she was considering hitting me.
She hated that nickname I’d started calling her. She hated that it was a term of endearment. She hated that it meant “little cauliflower”. Most of all, she hated that she couldn’t make me stop using it.
“You should phone your parents.” Veronika pushed off from her stool and strode toward her bedroom door. “I briefed them about your wellbeing this morning, but they are wanting you to call.”
“They want me to call,” I corrected.
Veronika closed the door behind her with just a little more force than was necessary. She hated when I corrected her English. Hell, she hated that I made her speak in English at all when we were alone.
If I didn’t know better, I might even think that Veronika just plain hated me.
Now that she was gone, I put my cup on the counter to give it some time to cool while I scrounged up some breakfast. Since I’d missed my normal morning meal, served between two thighs, I was in the mood for something extra tasty.
Ally flashed in my mind, chocolate hair splayed across the pillow like a curtain of silk. I screwed my eyes shut as if it would blot the memory away. She was the last thing I needed to be thinking about. It was her fault I’d made such an a
ss of myself last night.
Since when did I ever go looking for the women I’d had secret affairs with, once our hot tryst was done? Usually I was the one to slip away as soon as I’d slipped out. But last night she’d beaten me too it, disappearing from the bedroom and then leaving the party shortly after, without much more than a parting kiss on the nose.
I should have been ecstatic at not having to make some lame excuse at being the first to leave, or at not wanting to exchange numbers.
Instead, I went looking for her like a fool, even so much as questioning the girl I’d seen her with earlier about where she’d gone. Turned out Candace was her friend and roommate, which had provided me access to a near limitless supply of information about Ally.
Well, after I plied her with a few drinks, anyway.
Why did I care, though? Why did I ask Candace all those questions? I’d already fucked Ally, I shouldn’t have needed to know anything more about her. I’d learned what Ally looked like when she came—and normally that’s about all I really care to know.
Yet for whatever reason, the girl had gotten under my skin. Worse, she’d gotten in my head. And I didn’t like it.
Even Veronika noticed. It was that bad.
That reminded me of how she told me to call them, which was the last thing I wanted to do with all of this on my mind. I loved and missed them, but every time I called the conversation would inevitably turn into some weepy rendition of my mother asking me when I would be coming home. Each time was a painful reminder that they never truly understood the reason I'd left in the first place.
I decided to shoot them a quick email instead. I knew it was a cop out, but I was all for anything that would make my day go by a little easier.
I strolled over to my laptop and flipped it open, already composing the words in my head. Something quick but warm, but not warm enough that they thought they had a chance of getting me back anytime soon. I'd had a heartfelt conversation with my mother at Christmas and they'd ended up sending me flight details for my return journey. Non-refundable first class seat.
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