I wasn't in the right mood for that to happen again.
After typing out my message—in which I assured them I was fine, safe and still living anonymously—I closed the laptop and went over to pour myself another cup of coffee.
The light filtered in through the kitchen curtains, painting everything in a wash of seafoam. My eyes still hurt a little bit too much to consider opening them, and the view from my shitty apartment was hardly worth gazing out at anyway. California was a sea of wealth and beauty, but even the most affluent ocean suffers significant areas of bleached coral. The little neighborhood I'd chosen to live in, Greenwood, was as bleached and dead as any reef Veronika would let me live in. But I liked it. The sirens and drunken disorderliness were the soundtrack of an independent life. The cracks in the pavement were like alternate pathways, reminding me of why I left in the first place. Each one led you on an unpredictable journey, forged into the concrete by forces of nature that were beyond control.
Like me.
As I sat and sipped my coffee, I started thinking about Ally again. I wished I could wash her away the same way I scrubbed my mind clean of all the other women I'd fucked over the last year. Their faces were blank slates. At this point, they may as well have all been the same woman. But Ally... She wouldn't fade away into the background. Her arrogant little chin and those cherry-red lips stuck out in my memory like a sore thumb.
What the hell was I going to do about it?
The landline on the kitchen counter began a shrill, unmistakable ring. My parents. Apparently they'd gotten my email.
When the ringing continued, Veronika stormed out of her room. "You're not going to answer it?"
It was almost a statement, but she inserted a tiny inflection on the end. She was easier to understand when she spoke French and word order often indicated questions.
"No." I took another sip and stared at her challengingly. "And neither are you."
"They know I am here," she replied. "I only talked to them an hour ago." She moved toward the phone, its shrill tone a siren's song to her obedient nature. "They will be angry if nobody answers."
"Then let them be angry." I slid my body down the counter until I blocked the phone from view. "I'll be angry if you do answer it."
"I'm more concerned about what they will do to me than you."
I cocked an eyebrow at her and took another slow, deliberate sip. The phone finally stopped ringing.
Veronika's eyes flashed like sharpened steel. "If they call back, I will make sure the call is answered."
"Always so serious," I chastised. "You shouldn’t let yourself get so stressed out. It’s not healthy."
Veronika didn't dignify my words with a response. She didn't even roll her eyes. Straight backed, she turned on the spot and headed back into her room.
My parents wouldn't call back. The fact that they'd stooped to calling me in the first place meant my mom was in a particularly sad mood. Me not answering would put my dad in a particularly irritated mood.
He didn't understand. Neither of them did.
In their view, being the eldest prince meant that the throne should be my life. They had no understanding of the world outside the palace, or what that world had done to me. How that world had chased me away.
Or maybe how it had pushed me to escape.
Or run away.
It all depended on how you looked at it.
I knew my view of things was far different than theirs, and always would be, so I tried my best not to focus too much on it. I hated disappointing them, but they would never understand the pressure I’d been under.
I needed a distraction from feeling guilty about not calling them back.
As soon as I began to search for ideas on how to distract myself, Ally's smiling face came rushing back into my head. I had to admit, it was an effective distraction.
I stepped out of the kitchen and into my bedroom, steaming mug in hand. On the bedside table, next to my phone and keys, was the business card Candace had given me the night before.
Not her business card.
Ally's.
I grinned, slipping it off the table and into my hand. Hampstead Library, it read. Where Reading is Fun!
I snorted, remembering what Ally had said when I asked her what she did. She hadn’t been specific, and now that I thought about it, she was likely just telling me what she wanted to do with her life instead of what she actually did. If I’d been paying more attention to her words and less to her hot little body, I probably would have noticed the distinction.
Librarian made a lot more sense, and was exactly the kind of place I could picture innocent little Ally working. Except she wasn't wholly innocent after all.
Not anymore, at least.
Although to her credit, she’d made the first move last night by grabbing my cock just when I had been sure she was going to leave. So maybe she wasn’t as innocent as I suspected in the first place.
That woman was full of surprises. No wonder I couldn’t get her out of my head.
I reclined on my pillows and played with the card, slipping it over and under my fingers as I replayed the hot events of the night before. Her look of utter bliss as her pussy clenched around me. The way she moaned and caused my hair to stand on end. The way she seemed to fit me just right, so snug that I wanted to bury myself inside of her and never leave.
And then finally, the way she had just disappeared without any apparent desire to ever see me again.
Even without everything else, that reason alone was enough for me to go looking for her.
8
Ally
All I wanted to do was get my returns shelved before I had to leave for the day. It was what I had to do and what I wanted to do. I loved shelving returns. It gave me a chance to walk through the stacks and familiarize myself with new books and re-familiarize myself with old favorites.
But Glen seemed determined not to make that a possibility.
"So I just click this thing-a-ma-jig here?" he asked in that wheezy, wet tone of his.
"Yes. And then click the body of the message and start typing."
He focused on the screen again, eyes narrowed behind his thick spectacles. After a moment, he clicked the subject line.
"Nope, that's the subject line," I said. "You're just replying so you don't have to change the subject."
He was emailing one of his granddaughters who lived a couple states over. He preferred to talk on the phone, but she was a teen and didn't find talking on the phone very hip. Or so he told me. I had my own suspicions about the whole thing.
"The body, heh?" He chuckled. "Which part of the body should I press?"
I closed my eyes and suppressed a sigh. Then I gently prodded the hand holding the mouse toward its intended target. I tried not to notice the way his wrinkled face perked up at the contact.
"There you go. Looks like you're all set."
He slowly looked up at me, eyes not-so-subtly dipping from my face to the little bit of cleavage exposed by my bending over him. "Thanks, Ally. I don't know what I would do without ya."
"Don't mention it." I straightened up and turned to head back to my cart, but a hand on my wrist stopped me.
"Hey, can you help me type something out to her?" He wiggled his fingers in front of him. "Not the best with these old things."
"Sorry, Glen. I'm pretty busy here."
"That's okay, darling. I'll give you a shout if I need anything else." His smile could have been considered warm if it wasn't for the way his eyes leered under his wispy, white eyebrows.
I mentally brushed myself off from the encounter and strode back into the stacks. I knew enough about Glen to know that he wasn't as feeble as he made it out to be. But I assumed he was harmless. Mostly, anyway.
The shelves muffled much of the low chatter of the library, and I was soon back at my task, shelving books before finishing up for the day. I just had a few more to put away and I'd be done, which would leave me enough time to sneak a look at some of
the new arrivals going out this week.
I did my best not to think about how pathetic it was that the highlight of my day was either hiding amongst a bunch of bookshelves or getting a clandestine peek of some books before they were entered into the catalog. But it was work, and it paid pretty well.
After shelving a couple large type books, I swung down to the gardening section. All of this was mindless work, and normally I would use this time to mentally think about the rest of my day or week, or daydream about my plans for the future. But today there was only one thing on my mind.
Or one person, more specifically.
It had been two days since the party. Why the hell was I still thinking about Matthias?
Maybe it was because of how it was now so much harder to get satisfaction out of my boring life. My life had always been dull, of course, but I’d never really thought of it as such – no matter what Candace said. But the excitement of the other night seemed to put everything into perspective.
The contrast between that night at the party and shelving books while being on-call tech support for creepy seniors was startling.
Was this permanent? Maybe this was why people sought out the adrenaline rush of drag racing or extreme sports. Once you’d tried something like that, nothing else satisfies you.
What a horrible possibility.
I cleared the bottom rack of my cart in record time and moved on to fiction, absently running my fingers along the uneven spines of the shelved books as I moved down the aisles. In my mind, each bump and groove beneath my fingers was one of Matthias’ hard muscles, undulating at my touch.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I tried to shake myself out of it by seeing how quickly I could finish up. Perhaps if I gave myself a challenge, I wouldn't have time to think about Matthias. Or the rippling curvature of his abs.
It didn't work. My mind couldn’t focus on the monotony of my job.
What was going on? My dull and safe life never bothered me before. Dull and safe were my bread and butter. Why wasn’t it enough, all of a sudden? Was that single encounter with Matthias really enough to turn my whole world on end? It was hard to deny, when the last wisps of it still sang in my veins, reminding me of the unfathomable pleasure and joy I'd succumbed to. Was it the adrenaline or the sex that was so addictive?
Either way, it was becoming clear the whole thing was a big mistake.
You’re a librarian. Routine is where you live.
Crazy sexual experiences and dangerous one night stands were something best left to someone else. Like Candace. My life didn’t have a place for it.
I gritted my teeth and shelved the last book on my cart. I thought of it as me slotting myself back into my familiar mindset of suffer now to succeed later. No more instant gratification. My plan was to do what I had to until I could get to do what I wanted to do. Like somehow move from doing this to a career making a difference in people’s lives. In helping them.
From there, I had a bevy of potential plans. Maybe I'd get married and have kids. Maybe I wouldn't. Whatever happened, I would only make decisions with clear benefits. That was always how I lived my life.
What had been the benefit of sleeping with Matthias? At the time it had seemed like a good choice because I wanted to feel like I was capable of living, but if doing so just led to a diminished satisfaction in everything I already had, then the choice was actually pretty terrible. I couldn’t let it derail my whole life.
Even if it had led to some truly wonderful sex that I wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon. If ever.
That was actually the problem.
At least a few days ago I had no idea what I was missing out on. Now I’m in danger of always comparing everything to that one encounter, and being disappointed if it doesn’t live up.
What a mistake. The only smart decision I made that night was leaving without looking back, and the smartest thing I could do right now was try my best to forget that the whole thing ever happened in the first place.
I grasped the metal handle of the cart a little too tightly and began wheeling it back toward the desk. Before I'd cleared the stacks, my coworker Tracy appeared at the end of the aisle.
"Good!" she said. "I found you."
"You found me,” I agreed. “What's up?"
She smiled, revealing the gap in her teeth. "There's a man looking for you."
I stopped in my tracks.
Dammit, Glen, can't you just leave me the hell alone?
"Tell him I'm busy," I replied, inching back the way I came. If I could make it to the kids section, I could wheel right around the computer lab without him seeing me.
"Uh..." Tracy glanced back the way she’d come. With her bushy brown hair and freckles, she often looked younger than her twenty years. She looked particularly so in moments of panic. Like now.
"How busy could you be?" A smooth male voice from just out of view asked. "You've got an empty cart."
I froze as Matthias strode into view, wearing the biggest shit-eating grin I'd ever seen. I should have found the arrogance it added to his features unattractive. I didn't.
But I still wanted to run.
9
Matthias
The look of shock on Ally's face was adorable. Eyes wide, lips parted, a stray strand of brown hair curling down from her bun. Her hands were gripping the handle of the little metal cart so tightly her knuckles were white.
Normally women had a slightly different reaction when they saw me, but I could work with it.
"I can't tell whether this is a library or I've stumbled onto the set of an adult film," I commented. "Are all librarians this attractive?"
I directed the comment at Tracy, the pretty young thing who'd been batting her eyelashes at me since the moment I stepped through the door. She blushed and giggled like a little school girl.
As if rising from a trance, Ally let go of the cart and charged toward me. "You can't be here!" she hissed. "This is where I work."
"I know. Otherwise I wouldn't be here." I shot Tracy a deadly smile. "Not that libraries don't have their own merits."
In all honesty, I had been on the fence about coming at all, but the shock on Ally's beautiful face made me feel much better about my decision. It was still undoubtedly a mistake, but it promised to be an entertaining one, at least.
Ally stepped between Tracy and I, blocking my view. "You. Can't. Be. Here."
"You're like a broken record, darling. And yet it doesn't change the fact that I am standing right here on this high-traffic carpet, beneath these god-awful fluorescent lights."
"If you find your surroundings so distasteful, then maybe you should leave."
I grinned. "Perhaps not all of the surroundings are quite as hard to look at."
Tracy had popped up beside Ally, and she was staring between the two of us with wide, disbelieving eyes. "How do you guys know each other?"
"We don't," Ally replied.
"Don't we?"
The angry librarian's glare could have melted glass. It was a good thing I'm made of stronger stuff. "Please leave."
"You don't even know what I came to say."
I don't even know what I came to say.
I hadn’t really thought much beyond showing up. I had a lot of free time on my hands, was looking for a distraction and enjoy being a shit disturber. None of those reasons seemed like a good one to lead out with. Truth was, something continued to draw me to Ally that I still couldn’t explain or put my finger on, and I was curious to try and figure out just what it was.
Ally crossed her arms over her chest and forced her expression to one that was slightly less deadly. "Okay. What did you come to say?"
"What, now?" I looked from her to Tracy, and then glanced back at the library patrons in the vicinity.
Her challenging glare did not subside, reminding me of what it was about her personality that I originally found so engaging. One of the things, anyway.
Ally may have had a wonderful time when we fucked, but oth
er than that she appeared to want nothing to do with me. It was refreshing. She was hesitant to my charms at the beginning, but when she finally did give in it seemed like it was because she wanted to, and for no other reason. I could tell that from the way she grabbed my cock in the bathroom like she owned it. That night, she did own it. And it had been glorious.
But then she left. Also on her terms. And she didn't even look back.
It was impressive.
It was also frustrating.
Still, I wasn’t quite ready to answer her question and still needed to buy some time so I went with a bluff.
"Well, I guess if you want me to tell you here and now I could." I let out a breathy sigh. "I was thinking about the other—"
"—Stop!"
The library fell silent. Well, more silent. Libraries are already very quiet, but clearly everyone in here had heard Ally's shouted command.
That fact wasn’t missed by Ally, judging by how her face had turned as red as a tomato. She covered her mouth with her hand like it would help lower her voice in retrospect.
My lips slid apart in a broad grin. Tracy's eyebrows nearly hit the ceiling, and she began to slowly back away like a drunk who accidentally started a bar fight.
Ally's head whipped around to survey her surroundings, taking in all the stares of everyone around us.
"There you are!" An old man in baggy gray sweatpants half-jogged toward us from a group of computers across the room. "I've been looking for you."
"Glen! How can I help you?" Ally strode toward the man with an expression of relief, although I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the way his appearance seemed to break the spell around us and send everyone back to their own business, or because he gave her an opportunity to get away from me.
Tracy looked hopefully at me now that we were alone. "It looks like she's got to help Glen. I can keep you company while you wait, though."
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