by Noelle N
"I'm fine now," I told him, and now it was me, now it was my fingers twitching because I wanted to be the one to smooth the worry lines away from his forehead. Maybe I was still running off the terrifying adrenaline from my nightmares, but all I could think about was his warm scent as he leaned over me and all I wanted was him – close.
But Jed was averse to touch.
Pushing that thought aside, I dragged a hand through my hair and slid down onto the couch again, pulling the blanket over myself. "I should probably get some sleep – " If I can. The words were stuck in my throat and I offered Jed a self-deprecating smile instead, in hopes that it'd soothe his anxiety. "Sorry for worrying you."
He nodded unsurely and backed away, until he was seated on the armchair adjacent to me. I shut my eyes tightly, knowing that he was probably still keeping an eye on me, and tried to lull myself back to sleep.
Like that could even happen.
Because all I saw behind my shut eyelids were the haunting glimpses of my previous nightmares, too fragmented and frightening to forget.
The abrupt scraping sound of a chair against the floor made my eyes fly open, scanning the room for the unexpected noise. Only to realise that Jed was no longer in his armchair; his file lying discarded on the coffee table.
He'd left.
It was difficult to swallow the faint twinge of anxiety that crept through me now that he was no longer here. Nevertheless, I pushed it aside and pulled my blanket over my head, feeling the soft fabric fall like silk against my cheek.
Right. Because a blanket could keep all the monsters at bay.
I stayed like that for several minutes, hearing the clock in the living room tick faintly in the unnerving silence. But the sudden dip of the couch made me shift aside in surprise, throwing the blanket off my face. "What – "
My eyes widened when I realised that Jed had shifted and jumped up on the couch next to me. His werewolf form was now mere inches away from me, and he pawed the surface tentatively for a moment or two before he settled down, spine straight as he stared at me with bright eyes.
"Hey." I smiled softly, feeling a strange sort of calmness at having him so close to me, feeling the warmth from his body radiate on my skin. "So we're down to having sleepovers to fight my nightmares, huh?"
He blinked and simply lowered his head, curling up on the couch with merely an inch separating us. I stared at him, a tiny smile still playing on my face and he kept watchful eyes on me, only letting his eyes fall shut when I finally tipped my head back down on the makeshift pillow.
And maybe it was that – the closeness, the warmth, and his even, steady breathing – that eventually lulled me back to sleep.
12
ROGUE
Saturday mornings were kind of our thing, which I had quickly discovered when I found Jed waiting for me in the living room the next morning. I'd just come down after freshening up, only to see him leaning against the counter with a phone in his hand as he texted busily, and his jacket in the other. The coffee pot wasn't filled, which could only mean one thing – we were heading out for breakfast together.
Hardly able to stop the smile from blooming across my face, I reached for my phone and took the coat he handed out to me. "Breakfast?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer to that question.
He nodded, his posture seeming far more relaxed than he usually was. Then again, he was hardly ever not relaxed around me – something I had quickly noticed when I compared his behaviour around other people.
Salt & Pepper had not been opened for business for a couple of days ever since I was captured, but last I heard – Lorraine and several other werewolves had been managing it well in my absence. That was one of the best things I'd come to realise about Titan. The pack had been left a sprawling mess in the untimely death of Claudius Trevino, the previous Alpha. But the people here had formed a tight-knit community. They were self-sufficient and relied on no one else – a trait that they seemed to have picked up from their current Alpha.
Though it wouldn't do any harm for Jed to rely on someone once in awhile.
I couldn't help but store that thought aside, along with the nagging reminder that I still hadn't found out the truth yet. I had no doubt now that Jed killed Claudius Trevino, who was most likely a member of his family, and I wanted to know why.
But all in good time. If there was anything the past few weeks had taught me, it was that getting to know a person was like reading a good story. It was fascinating, intriguing, and sometimes you learnt dark, frightening things you regretted knowing.
But like all stories, a person's past took time to unravel. And it was up to them to tell you the story – at their own time, at their own pace.
So we made our way to the café at a leisurely pace, Jed pausing every time I stopped to greet a familiar face or exchange pleasantries with someone who had addressed me Luna. As for him, all the acknowledgement he gave was a cool nod, which seemed to be the reaction everyone was expecting from him anyway.
"Remind me to get a head-start on that whole Luna thing," I said to Jed, after smiling cheerfully at the eighth person who had addressed me as such. "Because I'm thinking Luna isn't just a title that's associated to an Alpha. I mean – if your job as an Alpha's to maintain peace among other packs and take care of the welfare of Titan, then I've got to do something to help too, don't I?"
He simply shrugged, but I didn't miss the gleam of good-natured amusement in his eyes.
"I mean it. I know I'm a human and everything, but the very fact that people are calling me Luna means a big deal, and I'm not going to have them calling me that without earning their respect in the first place."
His gaze was intent on me, listening to every word I had to say as we neared the café. Placing a hand on the door, he held it open and waited for me to step through first. Lance, Spike and Lorraine were at the counter, and I waved briefly at them, along with several other customers who patronised the diner frequently, before heading towards our usual booth.
"Also, when all this boils over – like, my nightmares and such – I'll need another crash-course in werewolf-ery. Werewolf-ology?" I crinkled my nose as I tried to work out a decent word for it. "Lycanthropy!" The word suddenly came to mind and I offered Jed a self-deprecating smile when his lips twitched in amusement. "Anyway, Lorraine wouldn't tell me anything. She said that if I wanted to crash-course in Mating 101, I had to go to you. Specifically," I added wickedly, tossing an innocent smile over my shoulder at him just to see if I could get a reaction out of him.
But him blushing crimson didn't even begin to cover it. He tripped over a nearby chair but caught the table just in time to steady himself with an unexpected smoothness.
"Oh, damn it!" I hastily stretched out an instinctive hand, only to retreat quickly when I remembered it wasn't the best idea to touch him. "Okay, that was my fault, sorry. I was joking."
He straightened, his eyes narrowing at me and I suddenly began to laugh when I recalled his initial response to my words. Adrian had told me that Alphas were supposed to be tough and intimidating. Jed still was, but I was quickly discovering this side of him that he never showed anyone else.
My laughter had clearly attracted the attention of several people in the café and I quickly stopped, smiling sheepishly when I glanced around at met their surprised stares. But when I looked back at Jed, I was relieved to see him leaning against the table with the corner of his lips tilted up faintly as he watched me, a soft expression in his eyes.
It wasn't an unexpected sight to me, though a pleasant one. But it clearly surprised anyone who glanced our way and caught sight of their stoic, indifferent Alpha smiling. The moment he noticed eyes on him, however, it was like an off-switch. His smile faded and he quickly jerked his head in the direction of our usual booth.
We were just about to go over when the bell hung on the front door chimed, giving way to a new customer who walked in with a nonchalant expression on her face, head tipped high and shoulders fearlessly strai
ght.
Instantly, the atmosphere in the café seemed to heighten into something akin to animosity, but Jed's reaction was the one that sent my internal alarms ringing. His posture was rigid, but he took two quick steps so that he was in front of me, and he looked so deathly hostile that I was almost worried.
Not for him. But for Bianca.
Bianca's eyes roved around the café for a second or two, before she breezed past several people standing nearby, coming to a pause in front of us. Her cool blue eyes scrutinised me for a moment, before they slid over to the man standing in front of me in an almost protective manner. Her gaze softened imperceptibly and she exhaled. "Jedediah."
It was impossible to miss the way Jed tensed.
But then she was looking back at me, her face giving way to no emotion whatsoever. "Quinn, I need a word with you."
The growl that came from Jed sounded almost animalistic and threatening. And it wasn't just him. Her tone seemed to have angered everyone else too, if the way they were practically glaring at her was any indication at all.
Thankfully, one of the regulars sitting at a nearby table intervened before anyone else could say anything. "Least you could is be respectful to our Luna," the older man said, his voice hard as he stared coldly at her, "not to mention you're indebted to her."
"Fine." Bianca rolled her eyes and turned back to me. "Could I have a word with you, please?"
Her sarcasm was definitely not lost on me, but I took a deep breath and smiled. "Sure."
She spun on her heels and strode towards the corner booth, at the other end of the diner opposite to where Jed and I usually sat. I made to go after her, but Jed blocked my path with a firm step. His eyes were dark and jaw clenched as he shook his head.
"I'll be okay," I whispered to him, well aware that everyone could pick up my conversation if they chose to, given their heightened senses. It was at times like these where I wished for soundproof walls. The library back home was, along with several other rooms, but no conversation seemed private enough in a public place like this.
Jed's face tightened with distinct aggravation, and it was clear from the look in his eyes that he didn't want me anywhere near Bianca.
I tipped back on my heels so that I could meet his gaze squarely. "You can be over there." I pointed to our normal booth. "And you can keep an eye on us in case she does anything. But I don't think she will. She's on Titan-land now, and you'll protect me, right?"
His lips flattened into a tight line. No – he clearly wasn't buying it.
A sudden movement to our right interrupted us. Lorraine was standing there, with Spike and Lance with her. "If I may, Alpha," she started quietly, lowering her head as she addressed Jed. "Bianca's lived with Spike and I for a couple of days now, and she doesn't seem hostile at all. I think you can trust her."
"A little rough around the edges," Spike offered, "and aggressive most of the time without even trying. But she doesn't mean any harm."
"Please," Lance scoffed, "I'm with Alpha on this. Bianca's the last person you'd want to trust," he added, and I felt a flicker of curiosity when I saw his gaze slide over to Jed in a way that made me realise there was something more to the whole Bianca-situation.
I shifted from one foot to the other almost hesitantly, looking between the four of them. "What's going on?"
Lance's eyes widened in alarm and he looked at Jed. "Uh – "
"It's nothing," Lorraine assured me quickly, though the way she didn't quite manage to meet my gaze told me otherwise. "Nothing you should worry about now. Alpha?" She looked at Jed and there was something urgent in her eyes, like she was trying to convince him to say or do something to back up her statements.
"It'd sound a lot better coming from you, or us, rather than coming from her," Spike advised, throwing a brief glance at Bianca over his shoulder. She was still sitting there patiently waiting for me, her fingers steepled and eyes gleaming as she watched us. "You don't know how she might twist it. I could tell Luna on your behalf, if you want."
Jed exhaled, his gaze still fixed on me. After a few moments of hesitation, he finally nodded.
"Okay." Spike nodded and turned to me. I was well aware of Jed's eyes on me as Spike spoke. "Bianca used to be a rogue," he said shortly, not wasting any time in getting down to the plain facts. "She trespassed into Titan-land a couple of years ago and kind of had a thing for him – " He nodded in Jed's direction. " – but Alpha never reciprocated. We think that it may be the reason she had a hidden vendetta against you since you're his mate."
"Oh." I eased back against the nearby table with a shrug. "Okay." The group stared at me in varying degrees of surprise, Jed more than anyone else, and I suddenly felt rather self-conscious. "What?"
"Luna." Lance gave me an odd look. "You're taking this unexpectedly well."
I blinked. "How am I supposed to take it?"
"Well, with more – " He made a vague gesture with his hands. " – discomfort?" He tried feebly and shook his head. "Come on, Luna, this is Alpha's old flame we're talking about."
"No, she's not. Jed never reciprocated her feelings."
"Yeah, but…" Lance sounded like he was having trouble articulating himself and I couldn't help but grin in amusement. Finally, he threw his hands up in the air with a huff of exasperation. "Come on! A girl who fancies the pants off our Alpha – " And Jed shot him a deathly glare now, which completely went unnoticed by Lance. " – walks into Titan-land and you're not feeling the urge to rip her hair out or anything?"
I folded my arms across my chest. "Now that's just brutal."
"You're – "
"I think we all get what Lance is trying to say here," Lorraine cut in smoothly, pushing her brother aside for a moment. "When I found on that Spike slept with some brat before we got together, I couldn't even stand being in the same room as her. Still can't. Even though there's no hard feelings. It's just – " She shook her head and stared at me almost worriedly. "Luna, are you sure you don't feel anything?"
I blinked again, swift realisation suddenly dawning on me. What they'd told me was – unexpected, to say the least, because I hadn't expected Bianca to have crossed paths with Jed prior to this.
True, Jed was a hot-blooded, attractive, not to mention extremely enigmatic man that girls couldn't help but be infatuated with. He probably had dated someone, a special few someones, before…well, me. It just never crossed my mind to be actually, you know, bothered about it. Clearly, they were all expecting that I would be.
But – I wasn't them.
Straightening, I glanced quickly at Jed. I couldn't help but notice that his shoulders were hunched and he kept his eyes firmly averted from me. It wasn't shame, it was like – something very synonymous with pain. Like the fact that I didn't care about his past with Bianca, however brief it was, was a form of rejection all on its own.
I looked at the rest of the group and smiled faintly. "Could you guys excuse us for a moment?"
"Yeah, sure," Spike said easily, ushering Lance and Lorraine off, the latter of whom cast another wary glance my way before reluctantly leaving. I didn't miss the waves of sudden hostility radiating off them either. It was as though they were on the defensive now that they believed I didn't care much for their Alpha as he so clearly did for me.
Taking a deep breath, I looked up at Jed. "Hey," I started softly. It took awhile, but he eventually met my gaze and I smiled gently. "I know what that sounds like – that I don't care. But it's not. Because I do, very much."
He stared at me, his face a blank canvas that I couldn't read.
So I continued, shifting from one foot to the other as I held his gaze. "You guys are teaching me all about werewolves. That they're possessive by nature, over-protective, fiercely loyal. If I tell you the truth – that I had a couple of boyfriends in the past, and I dated them for awhile, you're going to – "
His eyes darkened and the faint growl that left his throat was impossible to miss.
" – yeah, you're going to do that." I smile
d, shaking my head fondly at him. "And that's very sweet. But, you also have to learn something about humans. Most of us don't get incredibly jealous or possessive the way you werewolves do. And some of us don't hold out for a mate – we just…keep searching, keep dating, keep kissing frogs to see which one will turn into our prince. But that doesn't mean that we don't have the capacity to feel just as much as werewolves do. And," I added softly, "it doesn't mean that I care any less about you, because I do. A lot."
The expression on his face had softened considerably as I spoke, and the tension had all but left his shoulders by the time I was done. I couldn't even begin to describe the way he looked at me, it made something in my chest clench and I felt entirely precious under his gaze. Then he finally exhaled, his lips tilting up faintly as he nodded.
My smile widened. "Great. So now I'm going to talk to Bianca." His expression grew dark again, but I hastened to add, "and it's going to be fine." Slowly, I held my hand up the same way I had that night when I was sitting at our usual spot with Jed in his werewolf form. Only this time, instead of keeping my palm facing up, I held my palm facing him. "Trust me."
I didn't know what I was expecting. Maybe I was keeping my hopes up, that this was an action that could close the distance between us. And I found myself holding my breath when he actually did – his hand slowly coming up so that the pads of his fingertips were brushing lightly against my palm. It was the perfect friction, his fingers warm on my cool skin, and he seemed to have shut the rest of the world out, hair falling into his eyes as he stared with fixed fascination at the way his tanned skin contrasted with my fair one.
Then my breath caught when he slid his fingers up so that they were intertwined with mine, just barely, his long fingers weaving in between my delicate ones, and I was just entirely entranced with the way his hand seemed to engulf mine whole.
It was just a simple action. But somehow, it felt like I couldn't ever get enough of him.
The contact lasted for about several mere seconds, before he was retreating, but he'd come out of his shell and met me halfway and that was enough. I smiled brightly at him and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear almost shyly. "I'll meet you there in a few minutes," I said, looking in the direction of our usual booth. "Help me order my usual?"