by Noelle N
He nodded but still stood there, watching as I made my way over to Bianca's table. I didn't miss the look of unfiltered disgust on Bianca's face when I approached her and she rolled her eyes at me. "I haven't had breakfast, but already I feel like gagging," was the first thing she said.
"Good morning to you too." I smiled wryly at her and settled into the bench opposite. Jed was still nearby, watching us with wary suspicion, as were several other people who threw occasional, searching glances our way. I had a feeling that even though they trusted me enough to let me have a conversation with Bianca, Jed didn't trust her and wasn't about to go anywhere soon.
"It's really not a good morning when I have to hear such revoltingly sweet lines. It may turn him on, but it sure as hell turns on my upchuck reflexes."
"You listened in on us?"
"Honey, the whole diner was listening in on you. That's what enhanced hearing is for."
"Oh." I couldn't help but flush, dragging an awkward hand through my hair when I realised that the moment I'd shared earlier with Jed was far from private. Lorraine had warned me repeatedly about their knack of picking up on things, but most of the time, they just tuned conversations out. But if they wanted to listen in, they could. I really had to be more careful around werewolves. "Yeah, that was my bad."
"Well, he didn't seem to be complaining." She shrugged, her lips curving up in an audacious smirk as she glanced over my shoulder. I turned to look, only to realise that Jed was still standing there, now with Lance and Adrian by his side. But the moment he met Bianca's gaze, he shot her a deathly look before turning away abruptly to head to our usual booth.
I stared at him for a moment or two before turning back to her. I couldn't help but notice that Bianca looked perfectly fine now, as compared to her haggard, bloodied frame just several days ago. The medics from Callisto must've done an amazing job, not to mention the regenerative healing werewolves generally had.
"So," I started politely, clearing my throat to get her attention, "how're you feeling?"
"Nauseous," came her flippant reply, one shoulder raised in a quick shrug, "otherwise I'm fine."
"That's good." I smiled kindly. "I'm sorry I didn't visit you earlier. Lorraine told me that you were recuperating well and – I had some…issues of my own to sort out."
Her cool blue eyes accessed me for a moment or two. "Nightmares?" she asked at last, and I nodded. "Well, who wouldn't have them after seeing that room?" Her lips curved up in a bitter smile, her gaze trailing past me as she looked at Jed again. "Did you tell him yet?"
"No," I admitted, glancing down at the table and picking at a faint scratch on the surface, "I'm still struggling to come to terms with what I saw. Just seems so – frighteningly real and unreal. All at once."
"Try living in that place for weeks," she said it so nonchalantly that I was almost fooled, but I didn't miss the way her fingers instinctively dug into the table. "You didn't tell anyone about me?"
"No. It's not my story to tell."
She let out a quiet, almost sardonic chuckle. "Guess that's two I owe you. Which brings me to my point. I don't like owing people any favours. So, I just wanted to say – thank you. For saving me. And for not telling them about what happened to me."
I smiled softly at her and shook my head. "You're welcome."
She looked away, her fingers tracing the edge of the table almost absentmindedly. "I don't understand," she said at last. "Why didn't you just leave me there?"
I blinked. "Why would I leave you there?"
"To rot, probably? We've been hunting Jedediah down for awhile now and I was the one who captured you. Most people with a little more self-preservation would just look the other way."
"Well, I couldn't possibly do that."
"You're going to get yourself killed with that kind of mentality around here. But – " She paused, letting out a length exhale. " – as I am in your debt, rest assured that I will tell you all I know. And after that, I will be out of your way and you will no longer need to feel threatened by me."
"Wait." I stared at her in surprise. "You're leaving?"
She looked at me like I was stupid for having said such a ridiculously obvious thing. "Yes. It makes absolutely no sense for me to be on Titan-land."
"Because you're the Luna of Prometheus?" I suddenly recalled what Diego had called her a long time ago, even if he had admitted afterwards that he had no Luna. "Can two Lunas not coexist on the same plot of land or something – "
"I'm not a Luna," she said flatly. "There is no Luna in Prometheus. I just thought I would be, someday," she added, her voice lowering a notch now. But then the shade of vulnerability faded and she shook her head. "No, it's not about Lunas. Besides, a Luna of another pack would mean nothing if she were in Titan-land because she doesn't have the loyalty of the people here."
"Oh." I eased back against the bench. "Then is this about Jed?'
She averted her eyes from me and stared at a fixed spot on the table. She was quiet for such a long time that I began to wonder if she'd entirely clammed up, but then she spoke, and her voice was barely audible. "I was young." She still kept her eyes averted from mine. "I was all alone. I wandered into Titan-land by accident and – well, I was almost going to be thrown out for trespassing when he came along."
I had no doubt that this was her version of events and, much as the others had warned me that Bianca could twist this around, I found myself paying attention nonetheless, propping my chin on the smooth bowl of my palm as I laid my elbow on the table and listened.
"He gave me food and lodging, let me stay in one of the other houses with an empty guest room. And I remember being used to a rogue life for so long that this – this dependency, it scared me. Thrilled me too. How can you not fall in love with a guy who's so silent but – kind and strong and protective, and…everything you're unfamiliar with only because you've been missing out on it your whole life?"
A sudden noise from the other end of the diner made the both of us glance over. Both Jed and Lance had gotten up from their booth, and one look at their faces made me realise that they'd pretty much heard everything Bianca had just said. Jed's jaw was tight, fists clenched in clear frustration, but Adrian was already striding towards us with angry purpose, his glare fixed on Bianca like he wanted to rip her into half for saying that.
"You've got a lot of nerve coming in and – "
"Adrian." I quickly stood up and held out a hand to stop him. "It's fine – "
"Luna, she's messing with your head – "
" – no, she's not," I said quietly, casting another glance at Bianca. She was still sitting stoically, her posture rigid and her eyes still fixed blankly on the table. But I couldn't, couldn't get that image of her out of my head, strapped to the torture device in the bloody chamber and on the brink of death.
And I thought that maybe, sometimes, you built up walls around to defend yourself so much that you didn't realise that the walls you built had been invisible all along and people could see how vulnerable you really were.
"Luna – "
"It's okay," I said gently, smiling when Adrian reluctantly fell a step back. I turned to look at Bianca. "Let's talk outside."
She gracefully got up, her lips curled up in a faint smirk as she eyed Adrian and stared defiantly at everyone else who met her gaze, before stalking out of the diner. After another quick reassuring smile at Adrian and then Jed, who was standing stock still at the booth, I headed after Bianca.
When I got outside, she was standing by the pavement. The sleeves of her jacket were pushed up to her elbows and she was lighting a cigarette, her actions fluid like she'd done this hundreds of times before. She took a deep drag of her cigarette, and it was then that I noticed a scar streaking down her arm.
"Silver," she said simply, when she caught me looking. "A couple of years ago, I stole from someone. The woman's chain got caught in the tussle and the catch dragged right through my arm."
"I thought werewolves died from silver."
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"No – we're vulnerable to them. If the silver's left in our blood, we're poisoned to death. But if it doesn't stay in your bloodstream, then you just get an ugly scar." She shot me a sideway glance, blowing out a breath of smoke from the corner of her lips. "You don't know much about werewolves, do you?"
"I'm still learning. It's all pretty new to me."
"I can tell," she returned dryly. "No werewolf would be able to listen to what I just said about their mate and still stand right next to me like all's fine with the world."
My eyebrows rose. "You were testing me?"
"No. It was the truth." She shrugged. "That's why I have to leave."
"Do you have someplace else to go?" When she faltered, I didn't think twice about continuing, "then stay."
Bianca stared at me like I'd just pronounced myself an alien. "Are you not getting the situation through your obtuse head? I'm in love with him. In the past, I would've had no qualms about killing you just to get you out of the picture. But I'm in your debt. And if it means setting my feelings aside and getting out of the way so the two of you can be happy together, then I'll do it. Because I owe you."
"You don't have to fulfill your debt this way. In fact, you know what? Just cancel it out. Buy me a candy bar or something and we'll be even."
She rolled her eyes at me. "How you'll survive in these part of the woods, let alone be a Luna – I have no idea." She shook her head and let out a breath, turning her face up to squint at the sun. "Anyway, leaving's better for me. Being on the same land as him just…does things to my head. And heart. Which is ironic, because rogues are known for being heartless creatures."
"Bianca – "
"No, you shut up and listen," she said bluntly and turned to look at me. "I'm a rogue. Being alone's our default setting. Pack life and all that campfire cheesiness – that's too much community for me. And because we're alone so often, we're resilient. We fight for what we want and we fight to the death. That's how rogues survive."
I bit my lip and stared blankly into the distance, feeling the warmth of the sun smart my eyes. "Well," I said at last, and my voice was quiet, "I think I know how you feel. Because I was struggling to survive for a long time, and I was alone for a long time."
"Good." Her voice was cool. "So we're on the same page then. I'll leave in a couple of days. Now get back in there." She jerked her head in the direction of the café behind us. "Or they're going to have aneurysms if they see you out here with me for a second longer."
I followed the direction of her gaze and laughed when I saw that most of the customers inside were all watching us with blatant worry. Lance had his face pressed up against the window, his nose smashed against the surface in an entirely unflattering manner, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Okay," I agreed. She turned, heading for Spike and Lorraine's house, but I quickly stopped her. "Remember to say goodbye before you leave."
"You're an overdramatic sap," was all she said before striding off.
I simply smiled and headed back into the café. Once inside, I was promptly accosted by Lorraine, who all but dragged me over to the counter, where she and Spike were. I quickly diffused their worries, along with Lance and Adrian who had joined us, and headed over to the booth where Jed was instead.
It seemed like everyone was concerned about me being out there with Bianca, but I was just concerned about him. To say he looked uneasy was a major understatement; he sat tensely at the booth, arms braced on the table and our food laid out in front of him. But his plate was still full and it was clear that he'd been waiting for me. He immediately looked up when I neared, his green eyes scanning my face searchingly.
"Told you I'd be okay," I said lightly, a smile playing on my lips as I settled down on the bench opposite him. "You worry too much, mister."
He quirked an eyebrow at my unexpected nickname for him and I laughed. But my laughter quickly faded when he hesitantly unfurled one of his hands. I noticed a wrinkled piece of paper clutched between his fingers, and he slowly pushed the napkin over to me.
I picked it up, smoothening the paper with the tips of my fingers before flipping it over. And felt my breath catch at the words –
You always.
I traced my finger across the words and looked up at him, feeling my heart clench when I met his gaze. "That's good," I said softly, the smile on my face widening as I watched his fingers shift slightly so that they'd caught mine across the table. Then he was looping his fingers through mine, his calloused thumb brushing quickly against my skin before he was pulling back.
And I realised that it was always going to be this way between us. I could articulate my thoughts perfectly, but he didn't need to because he was always going to find ways to show me how he felt. And so long as we were on the same page, everything else would fall into place.
13
DOUBT
Jed was more than alarmed to see me attempting to go back to work just mere days after my run-in with Prometheus. When he saw me tucking my apron into my bag, along with the knife I always used, he paused, green eyes watching my movements closely over his coffee mug.
But the moment I headed towards the main door, he was up on his feet, covering the distance between us with several quick strides and blocking my path. He looked so determined to stop me from leaving that I was more than amused.
I was amused – and also, I wanted to test limits.
Biting back the smile that threatened to spread across my face, I simply ducked my head. "Excuse me," I murmured, sidestepping him only to find that his tall, intimidating frame was still blocking my path to the door. I tried a couple more times, only he was several steps ahead of me and seemed to know which direction I'd step before I even took it.
But I wasn't aiming to sneak past him. You couldn't sneak past an Alpha with extremely heightened senses.
And my smile widened when he finally found himself backed into the front door, his broad shoulders colliding against the wooden surface. He looked like a deer caught in headlights and he looked so flustered at the close proximity between us that I wanted to laugh.
You know, I couldn't help but think, for such a vicious creature, he's actually pretty damn adorable. I relaxed and was just about to back down when the light-hearted atmosphere suddenly dipped way low, and that's when I saw the shift happening.
It wasn't like the usual ones he'd done before. It started with the way he suddenly stopped looking flustered. Instead, he just looked cornered, trapped, like I was a predator and he was the prey and there was nothing but fear in the greens of his irises. He was looking at me but not quite at me, more like through me, like he was seeing something else other than me.
I stilled. "Jed?"
Then that fear vanished and in its place was something darker. His fingers tightened on the mug and he drew even further away, back pressed firmly against the door but his posture seemed to curl in, like he was going to shift but not quite, not just yet. And then an involuntary chill raced down my spine when he suddenly bared his teeth, his canines lengthening in a way that was completely unlike that first time he showed me his teeth. Because this was for a purpose.
If he was going to shift and if he was baring his teeth at me, that could only mean one thing – he was looking at me like I was a threat.
"Jed?"
Was I supposed to reach for him, or back away? My mind was split on both choices; my heart pounding in my chest erratically. This was the first time I'd felt fear, actual fear, of what Jed could do. He was more wolf than human now.
And wolves fought to kill.
When he let out a growl, my hand shot immediately into my bag, reaching for the knife inside. But my action didn't go unnoticed, because he was looking down to where my hand was, the green in his eyes darkening until they were obsidian. He drew himself up to full height then, muscles stretched taut and he was wired tight like he was about to pounce on me when I tried one last time.
"Jed!"
The growling stopped and he paused,
confusion flickering across his face for a brief second. It seemed like an eternity before he finally blinked, the dark fading out and green seeping back into his irises. He ran his tongue across his canines and swallowed heavily, and I could see the way the thin fabric of his shirt outlined the ridges of muscles on his abdomen as he dragged in a deep, shuddering breath.
Then his eyes latched onto me. "Quinn?"
I didn't know whether to be more relieved about the fact that he'd spoke again or that he was finally in control of his wolf. "Oh, thank God." I exhaled and smiled weakly at him, removing my hand from the bag. Inside, however, I was still trembling from the mere recollection of what had just happened. Jed was this close to fighting me. And I was this close to plunging a knife right into him. "I thought I lost you for a moment there."
His eyes widened and his hand reached out for me, only to retreat at the very last second. The apology on his face was blatant and almost painful to see. He scanned me rapidly for any signs of injury but I quickly shook my head to ease his fears.
"You didn't hurt me." My voice was soft, and I held out a hand, palm facing him again in an action I knew he was going to be familiar with. "It's okay," I said quietly, when he withdrew back, eyes darting between me and the hand that I was holding up for him. "We're okay."
It seemed to take him several moments of internal debate and struggling with the monsters in his head. His hand was shaking when he finally reached up, fingers skimming against mine with the barest of contact and lightest of friction. I exhaled and closed my fingers around his before he could pull back, his hand was cold and trembling but mine was warm and I held his hand like that for a moment or two, brushing my thumb smoothly across the back of his hand the same way he'd done at the café the other day.