by Noelle N
He nodded, but he kept his eyes fixed on me the whole time, as if gauging my reaction carefully.
"I had no idea." My hand was still poised barely an inch away from him, and I acted on impulse this time, reaching my fingers out and letting them hover just a hairsbreadth away from his skin. "I'm sorry if I hurt you that night, but you don't have to be afraid of me."
He didn't move, but when I looked up, I noticed the way his gaze was fixed steadily on my hand, the way he seemed relaxed and tensed all at once.
"Don't be scared," I whispered, watching the way his eyes dipped down to my lips minutely as I spoke, before he looked back up at me again. "It's just me."
Slowly, he nodded.
Taking a deep breath, I closed the remaining distance and allowed my fingers to skim across his scar. Just a feather-light touch, and I could barely feel anything beneath the pad of my fingers. I noticed his muscles tense under my touch – whether out of fear or desire I couldn't quite decipher – but I was definitely on the latter strand, feeling the warmth of his skin seep into mine when I pressed more firmly against him, letting my thumb trace the curve of his scar and letting my fingers spread across the smooth expanse of his skin until my palm was flat against his abdomen.
When I looked up, his eyes were an indistinguishable shade of the darkest green, and the muscles along his neck and shoulder were corded, tense, his arms gripping the counter behind me tightly. But the expression on his face wasn't one of fear but of restraint, in a way that made me shiver and my heart race.
His gaze met mine and I smiled, gently letting my hand drop away form him and easing back against the counter so that he was effectively caging me in, arms on either side of me and the warmth of his body like a sweet addiction on my skin. We were so close that I could see the freckles dotting his nose and the curve of his lips when he let out a faint, stuttered breath. His eyes seemed to trace every contour and every feature of my face for a good few seconds, lingering for a moment longer than was necessary on my lips.
And then he was pulling away to lean against the dinner table, keeping a safe distance between us. I studied him for a moment. In the back of my mind, I realised that this was the way it had become between us. We were taking small steps and he was slowly but surely, letting me in.
And I thought it didn't matter, because we had all the time in the world.
Reaching for the waffle iron behind me, I held it out to him and watched as confusion once again seeped into his features. He looked so flustered that I wanted to laugh, but I bit it back and smiled warmly instead. "Waffles, remember?"
He took it hesitantly and I tied my hair back, pushing the sleeves of my dress shirt up my elbows and stepping over to the fridge to get the ingredients. When I glanced back, he was still studying the waffle iron in fascination, his long fingers reaching around the lid to prop it open.
He noticed me my gaze on him and looked up, eyes latching uncertainly on mine. I just smiled. It took him longer than I expected, but it was entirely worth the wait when his lips tilted up at the corners in smile that made my heart race.
* * *
The rest of my day at work went well, with Jed in our usual booth poring over endless documents as usual. But apart from the lunch I had with him midway through the day, he was alone for the most part. I'd catch glimpses of him whenever I stepped out of the kitchen and he seemed content to be alone, with the rest of the diners content to leave him alone.
He was already waiting for me at the end of my shift, a file in his hand as he leaned against the counter. Spike and Adrian were with him and he was listening to them chatter away, but his mind seemed elsewhere until he noticed me, and then his gaze seemed to soften as he pushed himself off the counter.
"So what's on the agenda tonight?" Adrian perked up when he saw me step towards Jed. "Movie and popcorn? Walking the dog?" He smirked when Jed threw a frosty look his way.
"Oh, I think that's for Jed and I to know," I returned blithely, casting a swift wink at Jed and grinning he promptly bit his lip and looked away, before looking back at Adrian. "And for you to never find out."
"Touché." Adrian's grin widened and he leaned back, bracing his arms on the top of the counter. "I really need to get one of those mate-things soon. Find out what I'm missing."
"Whoever your mate is, they're definitely not missing out on not meeting you, that's for sure," Spike commented dryly and I couldn't help but laugh. Jed looked amused as he watched Adrian elbow Spike roughly.
"Beta," Adrian reminded, proudly pointing his thumb at himself.
"Don't care." Spike shrugged and saluted us. "Alpha, Luna. Have a good night."
Jed nodded at them and I grinned, waving a quick goodbye over my shoulder as I followed him out. "See you tomorrow, boys."
The night breeze was a cool comfort when we opened the door to the diner. It was marginally colder than I was comfortable, but not enough for me to start shivering, even though Jed easily pulled off his jacket and handed it to me. I slipped it on without hesitation, the fabric a soothing comfort against my skin.
"Lorraine tells me that Bianca left this morning," I told him, as we started heading for home at a stately pace. It was a lovely night, with most of the people either at their respective homes or out at a party. Lance and a couple of the other guys were hosting it at one of the houses, and I could hear the faint thumps of music from all the way here. No doubt Jed could hear it too.
Jed glanced at me, but he didn't look surprised by the information. Instead, he simply shrugged nonchalantly, as if Bianca's leaving hardly mattered to him.
"Well, you and the others might think she's trouble, but I think she's one of the strongest people I know, okay?" I stifled a sigh and pulled the strap of my bag further up my shoulder. "I just wish she'd said goodbye before leaving. She told me she would."
His gaze seemed to soften and I smiled faintly at him.
"I just have this thing – I like it when people say goodbye because it feels like proper closure," I added, in an attempt to explain myself better to him. "Too many people have come and gone without saying goodbye. And it just leaves this hollow feeling when they're gone for good, you know?"
His eyes seemed to have darkened at my words, but when I paused and waited for his reaction, he simply nodded, even if his response seemed a little delayed.
"So my grandmother, she was one of the few people I had proper closure with. I was – oh, sorry!" He froze when the back of my hand accidentally grazed his, and I glanced up at him with an apologetic expression. "Yeah, sorry, that was my bad. I didn't mean to do that."
He shook his head. And it was slow, it was calculated, but his fingers slowly reached for my hand. I felt the warmth of his skin before I felt his fingers loop through mine, until the palms of our hands were resting against each other in the lightest friction.
His eyes were bright, the expression on his face relaxed. And he tugged at my hand in a gesture for me to keep walking.
"Okay." I smiled and easily fell into a new pace beside him. "Anyway, as I was saying – it really helped to get proper closure with my grandmother. So the doctors were telling me that she wasn't going to make it past the month, at most. I was devastated and everything, but it was like – I was making every last second count and I was slowly letting her go before she was already gone. I don't know if this makes sense to you?"
All the reply I got was a gentle brush of his thumb against the back of my hand.
My smile widened and I continued talking to him for the rest of our walk home, making sure to keep my voice low so that only he could hear. But in spite of the topic, he was the one who was the centre of my attention and I found myself acutely aware of the way his fingers were interlaced with mine, the way his jacket hung over my smaller frame and the way he didn't jump or freeze up whenever my shoulder would accidentally brush against his.
The walk back didn't take long at all, but it wasn't until we were a good distance away from the front porch that he stopped me, his h
and instinctively tightening around mine. I felt him tense, and the sudden switch in his behaviour made alarm bells go off in my head.
I looked up at him. He seemed to be listening hard for something and I wisely kept my mouth shut, waiting for him to give some sort of signal. He did. Moments later, he tugged gently on my hand again and I followed him. We went around the house, stopping in front one of the side windows. I watched as he picked at two of the bolts on one window, before stealthily prying it open by removing the panel itself, and it made me realise that he'd probably done this many times before.
He quietly pushed himself through the window, but stopped me when I started to follow him. Instead, he simply held up a hand in the universal sign to wait before slipping into the shadows, leaving me waiting out there for him. It wasn't until he was no longer by my side that I reached for the knife in my bag, pulling it out and holding it by my side, at an angle pointing away from me.
A distant crash set everything in motion and, suddenly, the noise from within was terrific. It was a series of scuffling and things shattering, and I couldn't help but crane my neck to catch a glimpse of Jed in the darkness. I heard another crash as a guy tumbled down the stairs, and he'd barely the time to recover before Jed was by his side in lightning speed, sending his fist ramming right into the gut of the other man.
My fingers instinctively tightened on the knife as I watched the two men fight. There was something remarkably smooth, almost surreal about the way they did. The bruises and punches didn't seem to hurt and they could keep bouncing back over and over again. Then three men came rushing down the stairs and that's when I drew back, wondering if Jed had already mind-linked Adrian and the others, or if I could call for help.
I reached a hand into my bag, only to freeze when a someone wrapped their hand in a vice-like grip around my throat. The man's voice was distorted, sinister when he put his lips next to my ear and whispered, "this wouldn't be painful if you come along with us quietly."
I didn't even think. I was ramming my knife right into his body the very next second, and feeling metal slice through flesh.
"You bitch," the man hissed, his fingers releasing me momentarily.
I didn't miss my chance. I rammed my elbow into his chest and pulled the knife out of him simultaneously, just in time to catch Jed glance our way. The death in his eyes was unmistakable and, in a swift move, he was ducking past the three men fighting him and rushing across the hall to get to me.
I needed to buy some time. Turning to face the man, I kept him blocked from the view of the inside of the house. Then I held the knife up threateningly at him. "You want to retract that statement?"
He simply smirked. Quick as lightning, his fingers were around my throat just as I slashed the knife upwards, catching him across the arm, but he was undeterred this time, and I braced myself when he tightened his grip to ram me against the wall.
The impact didn't happen. There was a flash of black fur, a flicker of fear in the man's eyes. And then Jed's werewolf form was pouncing on the man, his jaws snapping open to lock tightly around the man's neck.
For a second, it was just like that night I'd first met him – when he tore another wolf's throat right out.
It was the same for this man. There wasn't a sliver of a chance against Jed and I quickly dragged my eyes away when I saw Jed's sharp teeth tighten around the man's neck. I heard a wretched yell and the sick crunching of bones beneath teeth. The man was dead, Jed had killed him and I was standing barely three feet away.
I was shaking. But there wasn't even time to recover, because the sound of growls behind us made me whip around quickly. There were three wolves approaching us, and I had no doubt that they were the men who were fighting Jed inside the house earlier. Jed was in front of me within the next second, spine straight and entirely silent. He was larger than the other wolves, but his stance was on the defensive as he waited for the attack.
They were all focused on each other, but when I fell another step back, the gravel crunched beneath my shoes and I cringed. Instantly, the three wolves looked at me and I chanced a glance at Jed, seeing that his attention was not on me, but was solely focused on the weakest of the three.
I looked back at them. "How did you get through Titan borders?" I asked, forcing my voice to sound steady in spite of the way my heart was pounding erratically in my chest. It was a pointless question, but I wasn't expecting an answer anyway. I flipped the knife in my hand, tracing my thumb across the streak of silver across the handle and noticing the way their eyes all instinctively latched onto the silver. "Leave, and he's not going to hurt you – "
I'd barely finished my sentence when Jed found that sliver of opportunity and surged forward. He lunged right at the weak-link and sank his teeth into the wolf's back, before pulling back, only to dive right for the wolf's neck. There was a flurry of scuffles as the two other wolves leapt into the foray.
I wasn't even thinking when I instinctively reached for the wolf who had almost sunk its teeth into Jed's back. I drove a quick stab with my knife, sharp enough to sting as a deterrent, but the wolf spun round, teeth snapping at my hand and I flinched back just in time before he could chew a chunk of flesh off my arm.
He pounced on me before I could even twist away in time, and I fell back onto the gravel, my cheek slamming against the ground and feeling hazy from the impact. When a wolf snapped at you, the first instinct was to protect yourself. His teeth was inches away from my face and I quickly dragged my hands up to fend off his attack, feeling the knife catch on his neck with that very action.
Instantly, he flinched off me with a terrifying growl but he was diving back in for a proper bite when Jed's werewolf form came ramming right at him. I saw a blur of black and brown fur in my peripheral vision and quickly pushed myself up.
The one that Jed had attacked first was lying motionless in a pool of its own blood on the floor, and I knew without a doubt that it had shared the same fate as the man earlier. The last was escaping, a flash of grey fur disappearing into the dark. But the one Jed was fighting now had no chance of getting away, and I winced, feeling my stomach churn and the scent of fresh blood fill my nostrils as I heard another sickening crunch.
Jed turned to look at me and I swallowed, feeling myself shiver and my head spin with terror and adrenaline. "Well – " My voice was unsteady and I tried to keep my eyes only on him, and not on the dead bodies strewn on the floor. " – that was really violent."
Jed simply lowered his head, even as he kept his eyes on me, gauging my reaction. I dropped my knife, the metal clattering against the ground a jarring sound in the silence. He uncertainly took another step towards me, but it wasn't until I held a shaking hand out that he finally lifted his head.
"It's okay. I'm not mad." I shook my head and waited. "Come here."
Slowly, tentatively, he took several steps closer until the spaces between us had diminished. His eyes were bright as he watched me place my fingers gently on his head, feeling his sleek black fur sift between my fingertips.
"It's okay," I repeated quietly, my lips tilting up in a fleeting smile when he instinctively craned his neck, seemingly arching into my touch when I attempted to draw back. So I didn't break the contact and kept my hand firmly on him, gently stroking the smooth fur beneath my fingertips. "You kept me safe. And that means a lot to me."
15
CLOSE
Trauma was the kind of surreal that never quite registered until it was all over. So it wasn't until sometime later, when I was leaning against the sink, wearing a fresh set of clean clothes and rinsing the knife under a steady stream of water that everything finally sank in.
Sniffling, I scrubbed my tear-stained cheeks vigorously with the hem of my jumper sleeve, before returning my attention to the knife. The muffled chatter in the background was still going on – Jed hadn't mind-linked Adrian and the others earlier on because he could handle the rogues on his own. But now that there were dead bodies strewn around the yard, clean up was necessa
ry. Adrian, Lance, Brutus and another guy called Giles had come over to discuss the state of things, but I honestly just wanted to curl up next to Jed and sleep the terror off.
A sudden movement in my peripheral vision made me glance over, only to see Jed sidling up next to me. He'd abandoned the others outside, the front door left ajar and their hushed murmurs in the distance, but he seemed more concerned about me than anything.
The expression on his face was apologetic, and he lowered his head, hair falling into his eyes when he reached for the knife in my hands. Gently, he took the knife away from me and began to scrub out the bloodstains under the running tab. I watched the blood flake off the metal edge, swirling down into the sink and tried but failed to suppress a shiver.
"I'm okay. I just cry a lot." Sniffling, I dragged in a deep breath and absentmindedly trailing the sleeve of my jumper across my eyes again. "It's just that – I keep thinking about those men, and their families and mates and – "
A sudden clatter of metal against metal stopped me and I glanced up at him in surprise. The knife lay at the bottom of the sink, but it wasn't until I saw the way Jed's hands were shaking that the brevity of my words finally sank in. And there was overwhelming guilt blatant on his face, the kind that didn't occur to him until I said it out loud.
You didn't feel for the victim you didn't know, until you realised that they had what you have, and only then did it become all too real.
With a visible effort, he pulled his hands away until he was bracing them on the edge of the sink. Shoulders hunched, head bent, and I saw his Adam's apple slide along his throat as he swallowed heavily. And when he spoke, his voice was so low that it was barely audible.