by Noelle N
"I'm sorry."
I felt my heart skip a beat at the sound of his voice, but my chest twisted the very next second because of what he'd said. "No, don't apologise," I said quickly. My fingers itched to hold him close and, unable to help myself, I reached out, letting my fingers rest on his arm.
His corded muscles instantly tensed under my touch but I kept the contact feather light. It took him a few moments, but he gradually began to relax, and it wasn't until he eased into my touch that I let my fingers curl around his arm, feeling the warmth from his skin seep into mine. When I looked up, he was looking at my hand on his arm, studying the way my fair skin rested against his tanned one with a kind of fixed fascination that just about stole my breath.
"I'm sorry about what I said," I continued quietly, "I wasn't thinking earlier. I am still firm on my values and I don't think killing someone's the right way to go about it. But I know that you did it to protect me. And I know that when push comes to shove, sometimes, we're forced to rely on our instincts and our instincts make us do things we wouldn't normally do. I mean – I stabbed two men tonight, and I don't ever want to hurt people. So, for you to kill – " His eyes flickered up to meet mine, and I smiled softly. " – you must've really wanted to protect me. Right?"
He lowered his eyes but, after a moment's hesitation, dipped his head in a minute nod. My gaze softened and I slowly, steadily slid my fingers down from his arm, until they were a hairsbreadth away from his fingers. He seemed to know what I wanted and, hesitantly, closed the distance between our hands. Until all I could feel was his thumb brushing the back of my hand gently and the warmth of his palm flush against mine.
I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face and I tilted my head up to look at him, belatedly realising that I was now a lot closer to him than I originally was. His green eyes were soft under the dim light, but they seemed to darken again as they scanned my face, travelling to the bruises around my neck.
"I'm okay," I assured him softly, and when a flicker of doubt crossed his face, I didn't hesitate to tug on his fingers gently. Sliding my fingers to wrap delicately around his strong wrist, I drew his hand up so that it was mere inches away from my neck. He seemed startled by my actions, his eyes darting unsurely between my face and the way his hand was so close to my neck, but I simply smiled and shook my head. "Contrary to what you werewolves might think, us humans aren't that fragile either. I'm not going to break, see?"
You make the first move – the words were a quiet hum in my head as I held my breath, loosening my fingers from his wrist, and letting my hand fall to my side – and wait for him to meet you halfway.
So I kept entirely still as I watched him. In many ways, I felt that Jed was entirely in sync with his animalistic side – not that he was as beastly as his alter-ego suggested, but that everything about him was instinctive. Uncertainty was all I saw on his face when he let his fingers reach out for me, retracting for a moment or two, before I felt the tips of his fingers trace the skin on my neck.
I knew without having to look in a mirror that the place where his fingers lay in contact with my skin was where the bruises were. His touch was so tentative that I barely felt it, but I waited until he eased into the unfamiliarity of it all, his fingers igniting trails of fire in their wake wherever he touched.
His eyes met mine for a second and I shook my head again. "Doesn't hurt," I said honestly, because his touch was so feather light that I didn't feel the sting of the bruises at all. It was difficult to reconcile the wolf who could snap necks without blinking an eye with the man standing in front of me – but Jed was both of that and so much more.
I was the uncharted territory he was exploring and I felt his thumb glide up the smooth expanse of my neck until his fingers were tracing the angle of my jaw. Then he tilted my head up so that I was looking right at him, his long fingers sliding across to curl against the nape of my neck. The tiny exhale that left his lips was the kind of adrenaline that sent my heart racing with anticipation and I found myself leaning into his touch when his eyes flickered to my lips and he took a step closer, until there was barely a space between us.
But then he paused suddenly, his fingers tensing. He was gently easing away from me in the blink of an eye, turning in the direction of the front door just as Adrian pushed it open, with Giles behind him.
"Alpha." Adrian sounded just as tired as he looked, but he spared me a quick, faint smile when he glanced my way. "We got rid of the bodies. They'll be delivered and buried by tomorrow."
My eyes widened. "Wait," I blurted, "we're not going to tell Prometheus? Or have a funeral?"
It probably wasn't the best thing to say but I couldn't help it. And I found myself flushing when the three of them all turned in my direction. Both Adrian and Giles looked stunned, but Jed's eyes were soft as he gazed at me.
"Luna, I don't mean to sound disrespectful," Adrian started, lowering his head as he spoke to me, "but that's probably not a good idea."
"It's ridiculous," Giles cut in bluntly, only to hastily backtrack when Jed shot a sharp look his way. "Sorry, Alpha, but even you have to admit that not only is this a bad idea, but it's also unprecedented."
I frowned in confusion. "Werewolves don't hold funerals for the dead?"
"No, we do. But for the ones in our pack. If you venture outside your pack and you get yourself killed, especially if you choose to attack the Alpha of another pack, then that's on you. You can't expect another pack to bury you – that's the way it's always been."
"Really?"
"Well, at least Alpha takes them to a proper burial site," Adrian added, in a more reconciliatory tone. "Our previous Alpha used to – " He paused hesitantly, as if the subject matter was one that he wasn't entirely comfortable talking about, before continuing reluctantly, " – burn and discard. As is the case with most packs. They get rid of the bodies and you can never find the ashes."
I was so used to feeling the warmth that came from community and pack life that I sometimes forgot about the colder side of this world. It was difficult to stop the shiver racing down my spine, and I think Jed must've noticed, because he shifted slightly closer to me, throwing the two of them another look that I couldn't quite decipher.
That glance alone was sufficient for the two of them to take a step back, and Adrian nodded at me. "We'll just be going now," he quickly said. "Have a good night, Alpha, Luna. Let us know if you need anything."
"Okay, goodnight – "
The words had barely left my lips before the two of them were out of the house, shutting the door gently behind them. I turned to Jed, only to realise that he was already watching me, the expression on his face uncertain as he gauged my reaction.
"You know," I started seriously, "regardless of what Prometheus believes about you, or what anyone else says about you – I think you're a good Alpha." His gaze was unreadable as he stared at me, but I simply shrugged and smiled. "Well – I'm off to bed."
I turned to leave. But he suddenly stopped me, his hand darting out in an action as quick as lightning to catch only the sleeve of my jumper. I paused, watching as he slowly slid his hand down, in an action that perfectly mirrored what I'd done minutes ago, until his fingers were looping through mine, his thumb brushing across my skin gently as he added a fleeting pressure to my hand.
It was over before I could even register what he was doing and he eased back, looking so hesitant that I couldn't help but playfully narrow my eyes at him. "That was your way of thanking me, wasn't it?"
He nodded.
"You're welcome," I assured him with a smile, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear as I turned to head into the living room.
I could practically feel his gaze on me as I pulled out the blanket and pillow that made the couch my makeshift bed. It took me awhile to get comfortable, to make sure that the house was safe by locking the window panels from inside and bolting the front door shut. By the time I threw an absentminded glance over at the kitchen, Jed was already gone.
His bright eyes met mine and I smiled softly at him. "Hi again."
He simply blinked, before curling up beside me on the couch. Only this time, it was different – and I could feel the steady warmth of his body as he lowered his head, his fur a gentle but firm pressure against my skin as he shifted towards me, so that the spaces between us were diminished.
I couldn't stop the flutter in my chest at his simple action – because all I ever wanted was him, closer, whether in wolf or human form. My smile widened as I gazed at him. "Goodnight, Jed."
Raising his head, he leaned forward so that the tip of his nose was nuzzled briefly against my fingertips. Then he pulled back, lowering his head again, but it wasn't until I began to doze off that I noticed, through barely-opened eyes, that he finally closed his.
* * *
The next morning dawned bright and clear, but the perfect weather was somehow marred by the deaths the night before. It was clear that word had travelled over the past twelve hours, if the crowd standing along the driveway in front of the house was any indication, watching as the boxes carrying the dead bodies were loaded onto the van.
I didn't have to have enhanced hearing to know that the rest of Titan thought that these rogues had brought it upon themselves. The pack's intense loyalty to Jed – and maybe to me as well – made them completely unsympathetic to the men's fate. So loyalty had its pros and cons, and when it became too intense, maybe you lost that bit of empathy you usually felt for outsiders.
This was something I was fast learning about werewolves.
Reaching for my jacket, I slung it across my arm and pulled the strap of my bag further up my shoulder. The front door was left ajar and from here, I could see that Jed was outside on the front porch with Adrian, the two of them watching the proceedings with matching emotionless expressions on their faces.
I headed to the door, stepping out into the open air. Jed immediately looked my way when I stepped out and I offered him a hesitant smile that waned when he glanced sceptically down at the bouquet of flowers in my hands. Even Adrian couldn't stop the look of incredulity that flickered across his face when he saw me.
"Yeah," I started haltingly, when Jed took several steps closer, still eyeing the flowers warily. "I was hoping I could tag along, maybe? I mean – well, they're not going to have a proper funeral so I thought – I could put these on their graves or something?"
Jed's eyes widened and he looked so taken aback by my request that I almost wanted to laugh. But I supposed it was the look on my face that made him realise that I was completely serious, and his gaze softened. He looked like he was about to relent when Adrian cut in.
"I'm sorry, Luna." He shook his head. His usual good demeanour seemed non-existent now that he was by Jed's side, and it was clear to see that he took on his duties as Beta very seriously. "But this really isn't a good idea. You do remember what happened the last time you crossed Titan borders, don't you?"
I couldn't help but flinch at that, the reminder all too poignant and real. "Yeah – I do."
"It's not that I want to undermine your generosity, Luna, because I'm not. But these people here – they're furious that Prometheus got through last night and attacked the both of you. Not only will it be dangerous for you to follow the van to the burial site, it's also going to make it seem like you're sympathising with the enemy."
"Well, it is kind of what I'm doing," I admitted, with a shrug.
"And it's not a good thing you're doing, because – " Adrian subsided abruptly and shot an apologetic look at Jed. "Sorry, Alpha. I'll get going now."
Throwing me a faint smile, he quickly left, heading towards the black car parked in front of the van and getting into the driver's seat.
I glanced over at Jed, my forehead creasing in confusion. "You're not going?"
He shook his head, but kept his attention focused on the proceedings in front of us. I stayed by his side as I watched several others get into Adrian's car, waving when they nodded a quick goodbye to Jed and me. Then the car was pulling out of the driveway, the van following it down the winding road ahead.
It wasn't until the crowd began to disperse that he finally turned to me, the hardened expression in his features dissipating into something gentler when he glanced down again at the flowers in my arms. He pulled out his phone from the pocket of his jeans and typed something quickly before showing the message to me.
We can go if you want.
I glanced up at him in surprise. "Really?"
He nodded, his features relaxing as he watched the smile on my face widen.
"But will it be safe?" I asked sceptically, "because Adrian said – " I trailed off when he started to type something else in his phone, and I leaned over curiously to get a better glimpse of it:
You're safe with me.
"Of course I know I'm safe with you." I shook my head, laughing when he seemed genuinely surprised to hear me say that. "I was just thinking about you. Are you safe if you leave Titan borders?"
Jed shrugged, and I couldn't help but feel uneasiness clench my chest at the thought of that. Even though Jed I had no doubt that Jed could keep me safe, I definitely didn't want to jeopardise his safety, much as I wanted to pay my respects to the dead. I was still mulling over this when he held out his phone to be again:
I'll be fine.
I eased back against the door and smiled at him. "You know I'm going to keep worrying about you for as long as you worry about me, right? And I worry about you more because I can't keep you safe."
His lips twitched in amusement, even as his gaze on me softened. And then he was typing:
I don't know. You and that knife make quite a lethal team.
I narrowed my eyes at him, stifling the urge to smile as I did. "Are you making fun of me, Jedediah Trevino?"
His eyes were bright as he typed a swift message on his phone and held up the screen.
What if I am, Quinn Reilly?
A bubble of surprised laughter escaped me when I read it and when I glanced up at him, a teasing smirk was playing on the corners of his lips. It stole my breath for a moment, because it was like he was learning how to have fun for the first time in a long while. And it was like catching a ray of sunlight after a long, cold winter.
Leaning my head against the back door, I surveyed him, noticing how the ends of his hair seemed to turn brown under the sunlight, and how the greens in his irises were bright with lazy amusement. "You know what makes an even more lethal team?" I asked, at last.
His forehead creased in confusion and he shook his head.
I met his gaze and smiled. "You and I."
The smirk on his face quickly faded into a softer smile that, while fleeting, was everything I wanted to remember forever. And I wasn't surprised when his hand instinctively reached over, his fingers sliding in between mine in an action as easy as breathing.
16
FLEUR
The burial site was on land unmarked. We drove for a couple of miles eastwards and once we were beyond the borders of Titan land, I took out the map that Jed had drawn for me some time ago, and began charting the places we drove by.
I quickly learnt that everything that Jed had drawn for me was right, even down to the very specifics. Driving through the main roads past Deimos, then Janus, then Rhea wasn't an issue. But Jed made very sure to not to meander down the sides, and I realised that so long as you went off the main road, you were easily considered a trespasser and that's when things got tricky.
But we didn't, and so passing through wasn't difficult at all. I was more than enthralled by the vast landscape that seemed to stretch on for miles on end, sometimes catching a glimpse of buildings or houses in the far
distance, passing by a car or two along the way. I kept my eyes on what lay in the distance while Jed kept his eyes on the road, occasionally turning to glance swiftly at me when I'd make some vague remark or exclamation if I discovered something new.
When we finally got to the burial site, it was just in time to see Adrian and the others in the far distance, heading down the hill to where their cars were parked. Jed quickly veered off the main road and did a quick detour, just to kill some time until they were out of sight, before parking the car just along the bend.
Holding out a hand to stop me, he climbed out of the car first, scanning the place with an unusually grim expression on his face that I rarely saw and his eyes sharp like an eagle's. It took him awhile to decide that no threat loomed in the vicinity and he finally pulled the door open for me.
"Yeah, okay, just give me a second," I murmured, trying to fold the map nicely and stuff it into my bag, without spoiling the flowers that lay in my lap. He watched me in amusement, reaching over to lift the seatbelt away from me so that I wouldn't get tangled up in it, before pulling back so that I could get up.
He shut the door behind me once I was out of the car, but when he chanced another swift glance around at our surroundings, I couldn't help but shift closer to him. His shoulders were stiff, posture tense as he stared narrowly at a car heading down the same road we'd came from, but when it took a sharp turn left to head down a different direction, he seemed to visibly relax.
I smiled. While I had no doubt that Jed could easily keep me safe, to see him look this serious was pretty amusing. "All safe now?"