“This looks great, Luke, thank you,” Anton said, and then began to eat. The rest of them followed suit, as though given permission, and I sliced myself off some bread and began to munch down on the delicious fresh meat in front of me. It had been so long since I had been able to enjoy fresh meat like this, most of the really good stuff landing at the very top of the command chain back in my old pack, and I savored every bite. The food gave me adequate distraction, at least for a while, from the tension that was in the room as the bunch of us refused to address what had been between us this entire time.
But when we finished up, it came sneaking back in once more. I sat there once I had finished eating, and suddenly became very aware of the fact that it felt like my stomach was churning with the food I had just crammed into it. I stood up from the table suddenly, the chair scraping loudly on the floor, and glanced around at the four of them. They must have known what I was thinking about, why I was so odd and out-of-focus. I felt as though I was trying to hold back on blurting out the obvious, that what had happened last night had been confusing and amazing and I wanted desperately to know if it could happen again, whether it had happened before, and if I was the first one they had ever chosen to take in like this. But, of course, I couldn’t find the words, so instead I turned around and headed towards my bedroom in silence. It was a little mean to dump them with all the dishes, but the thought of being around all of them like that for a moment longer was too much to take.
I closed the door behind me and leaned up against it, but before I could relax, I heard a knock on the wood.
“Can I come in?” Ethan asked softly from outside, and I pulled open the door and stepped aside for him to enter. I could just about handle being around one of them at a time. Just about. He closed the door behind him and smiled at me gently.
“Hey,” he greeted me. “You okay?”
“Yes,” I murmured. I sat down on the edge of the bed and then shook my head. “No. No, I really don’t think I am.”
“Why?” he asked, taking a seat next to me; I was so aware of his proximity, of how his mouth and his hands had felt on me the day before, that I had to look away to be able to continue the conversation.
“I just…” I shook my head, trying to find the words to describe how I was feeling and coming up short. “I just don’t know anything about you, and yet…”
“You want to know about us?” He cocked his head at me. “Ask me. I’ll tell you. Ask me whatever you want to know.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really,” he replied with a firm nod. “I get it. We’re…unconventional. I can see why you could be a little freaked out by all of that.”
“Yeah, kind of.” I managed a slight smile but it felt forced. I closed my eyes and wracked my brain, thinking of all the questions that had gone through my head in the last few days. Everything I wanted to know about them, about all of them.
“How did you end up out here?” I began. I guessed I should start at the beginning. Ethan sighed heavily and for a moment I thought I fucked up somehow, but he launched into the story right away.
“We were part of a pack in Colorado, way back in the day,” he explained, speaking slowly, like he hadn’t had to recount this story to anyone in a long time. “And my mother, she died in childbirth…”
“I’m so sorry.” I touched his hand lightly, and the connection between us felt electric for that brief second; I withdrew my hand and let him continue. He was telling me their life story and the least I could do would be to listen.
“It affected all of us.” His jaw was tense and I could see the flash of pain in his eyes. “Some worse than others.”
He paused for a moment before he went on, as though collecting himself. No matter how self-contained and serious Ethan seemed, I guessed he still had emotion buried way down there too.
“And as cubs, no one really wanted to take the four of us in,” he continued. “We grew up pretty much between families, and we only had each other. There was so much in-fighting in the pack, too, we couldn’t escape it.”
“Yeah, tell me about it,” I muttered, thinking about all the various dramas that had unfolded in my pack across the years. Every single one had seemed so important at the time, but looking back, it felt like nothing more than stories meant to divide us, to cause unrest.
“And we ended up just thrust out in the cold, no one wanting to take us in and risk their position in the pack by looking after four young cubs.” He shook his head. “We eventually left, the four of us, and we figured we just had to find a pack who would take us in. We were teenagers then, Anton maybe twenty, and we thought we would be able to find a pack in need of four young males. But turns out, there’s more of them than anyone really needs.”
“So what happened? Did you find a pack?”
“No, we travelled for about two years, trying to find a place that we could call our own, but no one was biting.” He raised his eyebrows, as though surprised at even his recollection of events. “We tried so many different packs in so many different places but none of them had space for us.”
My heart twisted, aching for them, at the thought of them so lost and alone after that awful childhood.
“And then?” I prompted him.
“Eventually, Anton took control and brought us out here,” he explained, a smile finally creeping up his face. “I never thought we’d end up in Alaska but it just…it was so far from everything we’d ever known before. It felt like a chance for a brand new start. We could strike out on our own, make our own lives here.”
“And you’ve been here ever since?”
“Ever since,” he said. “I love it, but some of us…”
He trailed off again, a frown creasing his brow for a moment. I knew exactly who he was talking about. Luke. I remembered how cold he’d been to me that morning when I’d come out of my room, and wondered if he seemed so cut-off and angry because of everything that had happened to them. Maybe he had a stronger recollection of all they’d had to suffer to get where they were today, or maybe it just affected him more.
“Luke? Is he all right?”
“You’d have to ask him about that,” Ethan replied, not quite meeting my gaze.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that.” I reached out and touched his hand again. “I can’t even imagine…”
“I couldn’t, either, if I’d been the one hearing that story,” he assured me. “But it’s a good life. I’m happy here.”
He fell silent for a moment, and then looked up at me – before he so much as opened his mouth, I knew what was about to come out of it.
“Do you want to stay?” he asked gently and I felt my shoulders sag a little.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I mean, I…so much has changed for me the last few days. It feels like so much to take in. And then, the four of you, last night, in the hot tub…”
“Just stay another day or so,” he suggested, cutting me off. “Nothing has to happen if you don’t want it to. But we like having some fresh company and there’s no harm in spending an extra day to make sure you’re totally recovered from your injuries.”
“I guess you’re right,” I conceded, even though it pained me to do so. Because I knew that the longer I stayed, the harder it was going to be for me to actually leave. Being in this place felt so good and so right, that every second I didn’t make a break for it on my own was another second that I grew to love being here. That I grew to see this place as home.
“Just a day more.” He took my hand. “That’s all. Don’t leave just because you feel you should. Leave because you want to. None of us will stop you if that’s what you truly need right now.”
“Thank you, Ethan.” I managed to smile at him, even though doubt was still swirling around my brain. “I…that explains a lot.”
“So you’ll stay?”
“I’ll stay,” I agreed, and as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I felt some of the doubt lift; not all of it, but enough that, for a
moment, I felt almost giddy with the freedom swirling through my head. After all that time at the beck and call of my pack, I could do what I wanted. And what I wanted was to stay here with these four gorgeous men.
But it meant accepting that I’d never return to my pack. Leaving behind everything I’d ever known, everything I’d grown up with, everything that I had built my life around for so long.
I realized that my hand was still on his, and he closed his fingers around mine and looked up and into my eyes. As soon as our gazes met, I felt something catch in the back of my throat, my body responding to the sight of him, to the feel of him. I knew he said nothing had to happen between us, but what if I wanted it? What if that was the only way I was ever going to figure out what I needed from these men?
I let my gaze drift down to his mouth, and found his eyes doing the same thing to me. And then, all at once, he leaned in and planted his mouth against my own.
Chapter 10
As soon as our lips touched, it all dropped away. All the worry, all the panic over whether or not I was doing the right thing – not a bit of that mattered to me anymore when his mouth landed on mine. It was a soft, sweet, gentle kiss, exactly the kind that I would expect someone like Ethan to give to me. He always seemed so thoughtful and sombre, and I didn’t see why his touch should be any different from that.
He slid an arm around my waist and pulled me close to him, our bodies pressing together. I could feel something awakening in me, the same way it had the night before, except this time I didn’t feel the urge to run away or stop it. He slid a hand over my face, pulling me close, and something about the tenderness of his touch made my heart swell with need for him.
He drew us both down onto the bed, lying opposite each other, like a couple of teenagers making out with no real notion of what came next. Only a few days before I had been in this bed with his big brother and things had felt so different then – the way Anton touched me was so much harder, more definitive, more dominant than this. I liked both, but at that moment I needed Ethan, needed the way he held me, craved it like something deep in my soul required it from him.
I hooked a leg over his and drew him close in to me. I could feel his cock stirring to life against my leg, and pulled back a little to see that small furrow in his brow as I ground against him. I leaned forward and lightly bit his lip, feeling his cock twitch against my leg in reaction, and grinned to myself. Okay, so it wasn’t like Ethan was some babe in the woods, but there was always going to be something kind of fun about playing with a guy who was a little less free-spirited than me. I watched as his eyes took on a darker shade, like he was shifting from one mode to another, and he lunged towards me suddenly and kissed me again, harder this time.
His tongue was in my mouth as he pulled me on top of him, grabbing my hips and pulling them down against his own; my clit was aching, having found no real relief the night before, and the feel of his cock against me down there was deliciously tempting. His brothers were all just beyond the door, but somehow that made it even hotter, knowing they could have walked in at any moment.
Ethan grabbed my sweats and pulled them down a little; I wasn’t wearing any panties underneath and he instantly slipped his hand between my legs, cupping me and pressing his fingers against my clit. My mouth fell open and I placed my hands on his chest to keep from swaying too much. I rocked back and forth on his hand for a moment, and he allowed me to set the pace, watching me intently as I let the pleasure flow through me. But I wanted more. I looked down at Ethan’s sweet mouth, even more tempting from where I was right now, and I guess the two of us shared some kind of shifter synchronicity moment because it was like we silently agreed on what had to happen next without exchanging a word out loud.
I shifted a little so I could pull off my pants, and kicked them aside so that I was naked from the waist down. Ethan grabbed my hips and pulled me up towards him – not for a kiss, but for something else entirely, something I’d never even really thought about doing before. But in that moment, I knew I needed to feel it, to feel him on me down there. He softly kissed the inside of my thigh before ducking down and burying himself between my legs, and I planted my hands on the wall in front of me and looked down at him and tried my hardest not to cry out in pleasure.
He was good at this. So good. He flattened his tongue against my clit at once, working back and forth slowly and smoothly like he’d been picturing the two of us like this since the first moment he’d laid eyes on me. I tipped my head back and parted my lips, the only sound my harsh, ragged breath as it mingled with the cold air around us. All of the rest of them could have walked in at that moment and I wouldn’t have cared one tiny bit. I began to grind my hips back and forth, just like I had done against his hand, moving slowly and carefully so as not to hurt him. He slid his hands over my ass, sinking his fingers deep into my skin, and I knew he would leave marks there.
Who knew a guy that reserved could be sensual in bed?
I glanced over my shoulder and saw that he was rock-hard beneath the pair of worn jeans he was wearing that day; if I could have turned around and grabbed him without having to lift myself off his face I’d have done it. I craved him in such an elemental way, to connect with him on a level deeper than the one we’d connected on before. Yes, he had told me more than anyone else in this damn house, had been honest with me in ways I had never expected, but this was more than I’d ever anticipated.
“Fuck,” I breathed, trying to keep my voice down so that no one would hear me. I wasn’t sure what I was hiding from. It wasn’t like the bunch of us hadn’t been in that hot tub together, all fooling around like it was nothing, the night before. But there was something deviant about this, about knowing that I was taking Ethan while his pack was only a few feet away and could walk in at any moment.
His tongue roved every inch of me, moving up and down me in long slow strokes, matching the pace that I was setting with my hips. I could feel myself growing close, but I didn’t want to come like this. No, I wanted to look in his eyes.
I moved backwards, shifting back down his body, and looked down at him; the power was heady, the control hot as hell. I could see myself glistening on his lips and I leaned down to kiss him, to taste the way we mingled together on his mouth. He parted his lips and our tongues met and I moaned softly, and I felt his cock twitch against my body. I slipped my hand down and gripped him, and felt this desperate urge to have him inside me. It was more than desire, than attraction – a deep, dark, fundamental desire to feel him inside me.
“I need you right now,” I breathed in his ear as I pulled down his jeans and his underwear. He was thick, like Anton, but longer. My breath was coming fast and I could hear his breathing picking up the pace as I moved my hips, my hand guiding his cock towards my slit. I felt him spread my lips, and he thrust up a little – but I was the one in control, and I was the one to set the pace. I moved slowly, very slowly, taking him all in until I had taken him fully. I bit my lip hard, once I was all the way down, keeping in the cry of pleasure that was threatening to burst forth from my lips.
I began to rock back and forth, getting used to the feel of him inside of me, and watching him as his eyes closed and he pressed his mouth together like he was attempting to hold himself back. He reached for my shirt and pulled it over my head, then sat up and pressed his face against my breasts, taking each one of my nipples into his mouth in turn. I slid my arms around his neck and inhaled the scent of his hair, and he began to move back into me, meeting my pace, plunging deep. His motions were long and measured, and it was tantalizingly, almost painfully, good.
“Holy god,” I groaned in his ear. I loved how desperate for me he seemed, how carefully he moved and touched me, like he didn’t want to spook me or scare me away. Anton had been so rough and dominant and I had loved every second of that, but now I was craving being the one in control and Ethan seemed all too happy to let me take it from him.
We matched our paces, and I wasn’t sure how long we moved like
that – could have been minutes, could have been hours, but I was completely and utterly lost to the feeling of it. I felt pleasure swell and break in me, rising and falling, until I couldn’t take any more and had to finally find that release I’d been craving. I pushed him down on to the bed, my hands on his chest, and used leverage to slide up and down on his cock, faster than we’d been moving before.
“Oh, Jesus,” I gasped, unable to pull my gaze from his – the darkness in his eyes, the desperation, was one of the hottest things I could remember seeing and I couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he tipped over the edge. I moved faster, harder, and then, all at once, it hit me, the orgasm shuddering through my body. I let out a long moan of relief, for a second forgetting entirely that there were other people in this place with us. He grabbed my hips and thrust up into my pulsing channel, moving hard and fast, and moments later he came, too, burying himself inside me and unclenching his jaw as he unloaded inside me in hard, hot spurts.
I looked down at him as we slowly came back down to Earth, and I lifted myself off of him and rolled to the side. He took my hand in his and drew it up to his mouth, brushing his lips across my knuckles lightly and letting out a satisfied sigh that made my heart skip a beat.
I’d never felt so cherished as I did, here with these amazing males. If I could hide my head and never have to face the world again, I could die happy.
Tomorrow would come soon enough, but for now, I reveled in it, burying my face against his chest.
“Perfect.”
Chapter 11
Her Howling Harem 1: A reverse harem fantasy (Arianna's Story) Page 7