Evil Genius 2: Becoming the Apex Supervillain

by Logan Jacobs

  I wasn’t the only object of the girls’ attention, either.

  “You know, you are my absolute idol,” a tanned, blue-eyed brunette in a white monokini with precarious cutouts told Dynamo.

  Dynamo blinked and said, “Really? Thanks. So do you want to fight supervillains too?”

  The brunette giggled, clearly under the impression that Dynamo was making a joke. “So, I was wondering, what is your fitness routine like? And your eyes. They are so pretty! Are those natural or do you wear some kind of contacts? I mean, I’ve done some research, but I couldn’t find any that didn’t look obviously fake or didn’t irritate my corneas… ”

  Dynamo cast me a long-suffering look as an exotic, ethnically ambiguous beauty with golden skin and razor-sharp cheekbones planted herself on the armrest between us and then rested her fingers on my shoulder.

  “So... are you two dating?” she purred as she bit her lower lip.

  “We haven’t really defined our relationship,” I said as I glanced over at Elizabeth, but she was engaged in a conversation with the women gathered around her, and hadn’t paid the vixen on my chair any attention.

  “Soooo, no?” the woman asked as she poked the tip of her tongue out a bit to lick her dark lips.

  “It’s a professional relationship, actually,” I told the girl with a deadpan expression, but Elizabeth still wasn’t paying attention.

  “Professional?” the beauty on my chair purred.

  “She’s acting as my expert consultant,” I continued. “As I attempt to expand the C.D.S. to more cities, having a bonafide superhero’s input is invaluable.” Dynamo and I had never talked about exclusivity. We just liked to fuck a lot and spent most of our time together. However, last night I realized I kind of wanted her to move in with me permanently, but I’d untangle those weird emotions later.

  “Oh. Gooooood.” The woman’s lovely feline features sharpened as she stared into my eyes. “So, how long are you going to be in town fo--”

  “Is that all there is to her role?” Slade asked, and I turned to see him staring at me over the heads of three women whom were all sitting on his lap or the arm rests of his chair.

  “Oh, you know, we might be having a little fun on the side.”

  “Yeah?” he asked. “Well, for a super genius like you with all the money in the world and an unstoppable superhero like her, what do you still count as fun? Besides the vulgarly obvious. I mean, what is there left that’s not just ‘Been There Done That?’ Two classic Type As like you guys, I can’t picture you just lounging around your mansion all day. So what’s the latest pet project?”

  “Well, uh, I’ve been sort of thinking of trying to get into the automotive parts industry, maybe,” I said. “Why, what would you recommend as a hobby?”

  “Well, I flatter myself that we’re not too dissimilar, you and I,” Slade said with a wide smile. “You know, our engineering backgrounds. Our willingness to think outside the box. And we’re both self-made men, guys who are motivated by success. And now we find ourselves at the top of our game, and we look around, and we ask ourselves, where do we go from here?”

  “Branch out into exciting new industries?” I suggested. “Diversify our holdings and expand our skill sets?”

  “All that, of course,” he said.

  “Seems like you have something else in mind?” I asked.

  Slade confused me a bit. I wasn’t sure quite what he wanted. He was certainly friendly to me, maybe excessively so, and I got the sense that he genuinely respected and maybe even looked up to me as a businessman. He wasn’t wrong that there were certain parallels between our careers, mainly since we focused on the same industry of weapons engineering and technology, although his companies just weren’t on the same level as mine. And many of his products tended to bear a suspicious resemblance to previously issued products of mine. There was that, too.

  But I also detected some undertones of tension, especially during our earlier discussion about killing supervillains. The question was, would the Shadow Knight welcome the chance to collaborate with a business rival of his, a beautiful ex-Warden, and my two invaluable assistants? Or would he think that our mode of operating made us just as bad as the supervillains? Or would he resent us simply because we were essentially showing up to do his superhero job in his city?

  “Just trying to get a feel for you, bro,” he laughed easily, and his hand absently stroked the edge of his drink glass.

  My eyes focused on his fingers, and I realized that he hadn’t touched any of the women sitting around him. He hadn’t even laid a single finger, or even appraised, any of the “perfect ten” beauties since I’ve come on board. Even Elizabeth, who made me drool every time I saw her, and I saw her a lot, hadn’t seemed to draw the man’s attention. He had looked her in the eyes when he talked to her and hadn’t even tried to make a slight glance at her almost impossibly perfect body.

  “I get it,” I said as I leaned back in my chair and felt the woman sitting on my armrest move her fingers to trace on my shoulder. “I’m in your town, and you want to make sure I’m not trying to cut into your business.”

  “Naw,” he said as he waved his hands. “Not like that at all, Miles. In truth, you know, I’ve always respected you. Earlier I said I was ‘self-made,’ but you and I both know that’s a lie. I’ve done well for myself, but I started with billions. You did everything by yourself. Tons of respect for you. In all honesty, I’ve always wanted to hang with you after we met at that conference.”

  “We met at a conference?” I asked.

  “Sure,” he laughed. “Four years or so ago. Intelteck. Remember? I made you put my phone number in your phone?”

  “Oh, yeah,” I said, and then the memory of walking by him and his entourage in the hallway popped into my head. I thought I’d just acquired his number through various sources, but now that he had brought it up, I remembered him shaking my hand vigorously and telling me how much he admired my work.

  Fernando set another whiskey on the table in front of me, and there was a bit of a lull in the conversation, so I let my eyes roam over the deck. Norma had moved over to the railing with a couple of the other bikini beauties, and they were squealing about a school of fish or something that they could see in the water, while another group clustered around Dynamo and asked her dozens of questions rapid fire.

  That left the woman still perched on my arm rest, who was now gently massaging my shoulders, Gemma and Ali, who had slid their chairs up to sit next to me, Slade, his three women, and Fernando, who cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow to me after he set down my whiskey.

  “Did you pick a tough one?” Dan asked the waiter.

  “I believe so, sir,” the man smiled and nodded at me.

  “Alright,” I said as I reached for the glass. It had a large cube of ice in it, and I wiggled the glass a bit to ensure that the slight bit of water and chill was consistent in the tumbler. A moment later the dark golden liquid was on my tongue, and I gently swirled it around to taste the complexity of its flavor.

  “Huh,” I said as I licked my lips. “This tastes like scotch, but there are elements of Japanese oak in it.”

  Dan turned toward Fernando, but the old man had an excellent poker face.

  I took another sip and tasted a very small nuance of apricot under a much more prominent vanilla.

  “It’s a Bowmore Single Malt Mizunara Cask Finish,” I said.

  “Very good, sir,” Fernando said as a smile broke across his face.

  “He got it right?” Slade gasped.

  “Yes, sir.” Fernando nodded his head to his boss.

  “Hot damn!” Dan smacked his hands together, and all the bikini-clad beauties around us began to gasp, clap, and smile at me.

  “How did you know, Mr. Nelson?” Fernando asked.

  “Bit of a guess,” I said. “I’ve had a few Bowmores, but never this one. There are a few Scottish distilleries that will cask their whisky in Japanese oak, but this tasted like a Bowmore, and
I know the bottle is limited and costs a few grand or so. I knew you wouldn’t pour me cheap stuff.”

  “Looks like everyone was right about your taste buds,” Dan said. “That’s incredible. I’m super impressed. Well, I already was, but now I’m even more impressed. I’d glad you decided to come today.”

  The women all nodded and vocalized their agreement with Dan, and the one sitting on my chair leaned down to whisper in my ear, “Seems you have a very talented tongue. What else can it do?”

  “How did you get so good at whiskey tasting?” Dan asked before I could answer the beauty’s question.

  “Just a hobby,” I said with my usual shrug.

  “Sure it isn’t a superpower?” Dan chuckled, and the rest of the women laughed.

  “We were talking about hobbies a bit earlier,” I continued. “What projects excite you right now?”

  “I’ve been into adventure sports for the last few years,” Dan said as Fernando filled his drink glass. “I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie.”

  “Is that so?” I asked. In the broader context of our discussion this felt somewhat like a confession to his secret identity, and I wished that Dynamo were there to hear it so I could ask later if she had the same impression, but she was busy getting fawned over by Slade’s ornamental companions, who were now interrogating her for her beauty secrets and also jockeying to get into photos with her.

  “The thing about adventure sports,” he said as he waved one of his hands in the air, “is that you have to learn them the right way. Slowly. With humility. Under the close guidance of experienced instructors. Because the cocky guys who rush in there thinking they know everything and wanting to do it all their way? Wanting to show off for beautiful girls? Wanting to prove that some stunt is not as hard as other people think it is? They’re the ones who end up on the fast track to the morgue.”

  “I agree,” I said. “My company has a mentorship program so that new hires can learn the ropes.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Dan laughed. “I heard you did that a few years ago. So, of course we copied it. See? In some ways, you are kind of acting like my business mentor. Maybe I can give you advice about adventure sports? They are dangerous hobbies, and people just getting into it need to be careful.”

  “You want to teach me how to kayak or ski or something?” I asked as I raised an eyebrow. Did Dan Slade want to be my superhero mentor? I had to admit that the Shadow Knight did have more crime fighting experience than I did, and that his track record was impressive, but it was impressive in the same sense that The Wardens’ records were impressive. They beat up and imprisoned supervillains all the time. But never put them down for good, so the supervillains were perpetually reappearing for revenge matches. And every time, more ordinary citizens fell victim to their rampages or even got caught in the crossfire of their battles with the superheroes. So, if I only counted the superheroes’ victories, then they looked pretty damn good on paper, but if I added up all the casualties attributable to the actions of a supervillain, after the first time they defeated him or her, and had the chance to end him or her but didn’t? Then they looked pretty fucking stupid. Impossibly naïve. Willfully oblivious. Lethally goody-two-shoes.

  They looked like they couldn’t get the job done.

  And I could.

  “Well, not me,” Dan said as he let out a good-natured laugh. “I’m still an amateur at all those things, but I have some of the best trainers in the world. I can hook you up with whoever you need, and then the three of us can go out and do stuff together. Would be fun.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, and I realized that this might have been Dan holding out an olive branch to me so that we could work together.

  “Cool, cool, cool,” Slade replied. “Just let me know. I don’t want someone like you, someone with that much to offer the world, becoming a statistic. That’s my realistic advice. It’s best for people to just stick to what they are brilliant at. Know what I mean?”

  “So your advice is that people should stay in their lane?” I asked.

  “Kinda,” he chuckled. “But, my real advice? What I’m really thinking when someone talks about, uh, getting into this kind of stuff? What I’d love to tell everyone if only I thought any of them would actually fucking listen?”

  “Yes?” I said dryly and felt pretty certain there was zero chance that I was going to “actually fucking listen” to whatever came next.

  “I’d say don’t do it at all,” he announced solemnly.

  “Didn’t you just ask if I wanted to get into it?” I asked.

  “I know I do it, yeah,” he continued. “But you know what? That can’t be helped. Someone’s gotta, and I’m willing to bite that bullet. But it’s not for everyone, and it shouldn’t be. Most people end up just getting in the way. Endangering others as well as themselves. Some things should just be left to the experts.”

  “Um, what?” I asked as I tried not to roll my eyes. “Someone’s gotta what? Bite the bullet and be the person to go ice climbing? Base jumping? White water rafting? For the good of society?”

  “I’m talking more about the rush,” he said with a gentle laugh, “but you know what, no one ever listens to me. No one ever listens to anyone when it comes to certain things like this that they just think they can just up and do. So there’s no point lecturing, right?”

  “Probably not,” I agreed as I tried to plaster my most convincing fake smile on my lips.

  At that point, Slade’s private island came into view, and everyone but Dan and I walked over to the railing to see it.

  The island wasn’t very big, probably just a few miles in each direction, but it really was ideally suited to host a superhero lair. Or a supervillain lair for that matter. It was densely foliaged, so it would be easy to hide things from being seen from the air, and the coast was extremely rocky, so it would be hard to land a vessel anywhere except at the designated dock.

  “It’s so beautiful!” Norma gushed from her spot on the railing. “So romantic. You could have a cabin here. People could honeymoon here.”

  I glanced sideways at Dan as the women all gathered at the railing of the yacht. Now there were some twenty-five absolutely stunning women in thong bikinis and tight swimsuits pointing their asses at us, along with Norma, who didn’t exactly have a bad ass, but it wasn’t that great either, it was just kind of average. Still, the beautiful sight was enough to make a man weep, and I could feel my erection urgently press against my underwear as I imagined walking down the line and running my fingers along each perfect ass cheek.

  Dan Slade only gave them a passing glance and then stared at me.

  “Very practical piece of property,” I said as I looked him in the eyes. “I really like it.”

  “Thanks, man,” he said, and it actually did seem like he meant the words.

  We moored the yacht for lunch and ate a three-course organic meal prepared by a French chef. Then some of the women wanted to disembark and go climb on some of the island’s rocks to pose for photos. Slade said they could, but he warned them not to go out of sight of the yacht because he said there could be dangerous wildlife, even though I didn’t see anything besides the abundant hordes of seagulls that annoyed him so much. That didn’t exactly dispel my suspicions that Slade had some things to hide on this island of his.

  Which made me wonder why he’d brought us here when he obviously didn’t have to. From what I’d observed of his personality so far: He either really wanted a friend, and or he just couldn’t resist the urge to show off to me. He probably wanted me to be impressed and intimidated by his superhero base. If that was really what the island was, or was intended to become, anyway. But there was also the more sinister possibility that it was some kind of trap and that he never intended for us to leave the island at all. That wouldn’t be a very superhero like thing for him to do, under the circumstances, but still, it was the kind of thing that I might do if I regarded someone as a threat to my plans.

  So, when Elizabeth and N
orma looked like they were thinking of following some of the other girls onshore, I caught their eyes and shook my head slightly. They looked confused, but detached themselves from the group and stayed back, along with one girl who said she couldn’t move for another twenty minutes or her tan would end up uneven, another who was afraid of ruining her sandals or twisting an ankle on the rocks, and another who said the rhubarb kale soup was bothering her stomach.

  Gemma, Ali, and the third woman, who was probably the most beautiful of the bunch and had been sitting on my armrest for the last sixty minutes, all asked me to join them on the shore because they knew of a “private spot that was really pretty,” but I declined and said that I was feeling a bit too buzzed.

  “Not interested in stretching your legs a bit with the girls?” Slade asked me when I watched the shore expedition giddily depart without budging from my deck chair.

  “Nah,” I said. “But you’ll have to give me the complete tour someday, you know, when the wildlife situation is under control.”

  “It’s a deal. Another drink?”

  “Don’t mind if I do,” I said, and Slade gestured for Fernando.

  Elizabeth and Norma meandered over our way and resumed their previous spots in the circle of deck chairs. My girlfriend looked exactly as she had at the start of the day, except that she had cast off the gauzy coverup and possibly gained a few additional freckles. Norma, on the other hand, was starting to look mildly sunburnt, as well as flushed from alcohol, but she did seem to be in a more relaxed mood than when we had first boarded the yacht, and she had clearly been intimidated by the crowd of model-esque women that Slade kept company with.

  “This has been a great day,” she announced in between slurps from the straw in her coconut. “Your friends are really nice, Dan.”

  “I’m glad to hear that!” he laughed. “You three are all welcome to be my guests again at any time. So, how long are you planning on hanging around in my city, anyway?”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” I said. “I guess until I get bored, or I find out what happened to that little issue you texted me about last night.”