Mail Order Desire

by Alix West

  “I think you like it.”

  “Possibly. I might need to explore the possibilities. Let’s get married.”

  She couldn’t help the happy laughter that bubbled up from inside her, but it didn’t change the fact that she had to tell him about her situation. “I like that idea, Clay, but I-”

  He shook his head and kissed her softly. “Don’t tell me about children. I just want you. I have from the first time I saw you.”

  She smiled and felt her face grow warm again. “I don’t think we should mess around here. With the kids here and all.”

  He nodded solemnly. “Squeaky bed?”

  “Right.”

  “Baby, there are lots of games that won’t make the bed squeak.”

  “Right, well, what we did last night is the most I’ve done as far as game playing goes.”

  He brushed a kiss over her lips. “I know. Don’t worry. We’ll take our time.” Pulling her into his arms, he held her for a long moment. Hugging someone while they wore a coat and scarf and so many layers was cumbersome, but her heart warmed with contentment despite the awkwardness.

  When they went back to collecting firewood, they piled it high on the sled and took it back to the cabin where they dumped it by the step. Clay banged on the door and Sydney came out, buttoning her coat and grumbling about having to stop reading. Charlie stepped out behind her, blinking in the sunshine. Sydney began stacking the logs beside the cabin, where Clay and the children chopped and split the wood.

  Clay and Victoria returned to the pine woods, for one last load of wood. The snow collected in the branches overhead, leaving the forest floor with only a few inches of snow. Every so often, snow slipped from the bough and dropped to the ground with a thump. Aside from the falling snow, the forest was quiet, the trees soaring overhead, a piney scent filling the cold air.

  When they got back to the forest, she went to a dead tree that had fallen. She worked on the branches, snapping them off and tossing them on a pile. She walked around a large spruce to access more of the dead branches.

  A wolf in her path stopped her. The shock brought a soft huff of surprise from her lips. Her feet, rooted to the ground, refused to move. His eyes, a deep amber, held her in their steady gaze, appraising her. A movement in her peripheral vision told her the wolf wasn’t alone. Her mind worked slowly, moving from the awareness that she might be surrounded to the thought that Clay worked some distance away. He had a gun. But had he seen the wolf? The first wolf moved closer. His steps silent.

  He stopped ten feet from her. The distance could be closed in a few paces of the animal’s powerful body, or a single leap. Easily twice Charlie’s size, he looked nothing like she would have expected. His expression was cool. Thoughtful. Not monstrous or evil.

  A blow from her side knocked her to her back. A wolf, bigger than the first, stood over her, one massive paw on her chest, teeth bared. Fetid breath washed over her. A whimper came from her lips as she kept her arms outstretched into the wolf’s neck to try to keep him away.

  Any instant the wolf would sink his fangs into her face or throat. They’d drag her away.

  Her heart beat boomed in her ears, drowning out the sound of the wolf’s low growl. She felt the vibration of the growl, rather than heard it. A nearby flash of movement, kicked her instincts into motion. She jerked her hands to her face.

  Before she could cover her eyes, Clay loomed over her. He kicked the wolf, bellowing with rage. The animal landed with a startled yelp.

  A rifle blast ripped through the forest, followed by Clay’s thundering voice, a string of obscenities and snarls like she’d never heard from any human being. And then it was quiet.

  Clay looked down at her. His features twisted with fury. Lowering to his haunches, he set his gun down. He helped her to a sitting position.

  They didn’t speak for a few moments as he cupped her face and looked her over. He pressed his lips into a thin line. He ran his hands down her shoulders and let his gaze drift down.

  “I’m okay.” Her voice shook. She sounded and felt far from okay, but wanted to say something to ease the fear in his eyes.

  “I should have brought Charlie. He would have barked.”

  She nodded. While Charlie was still very much a playful puppy, in the weeks since they’d come to the cabin, he’d turned into an excellent watch dog. Vigilant, protective and territorial, he guarded all of them with a mature intensity.

  Clay helped her up and brushed the snow from her. “Let’s get you home.”

  “Okay,” she said softly.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Clay

  The adrenalin was still rushing in Clay’s veins when they returned to the cabin. Clay paced like a caged beast, finally going outside to saw the firewood into shorter lengths. He needed to exert himself to burn off the fear. Mostly he needed to hide his dread from the children and Victoria.

  The memory of the massive beast crouched over Victoria made him break into a cold sweat. He lifted the log to the work table, set it down and tried to push the images from his mind. Leaning over the table, he dropped his head and brought his fist down beside the log. That had been too fucking close and it was all his fault.

  He’d stopped paying attention for one moment. The attack happened because he was alone with Victoria. Flirting with her. Kissing her. Thinking with his cock and not his head. There could be no more of that. He should sleep in his own bed, keep his hands off her and wait. To keep her safe, to keep all of them safe, he needed to revert to the elite soldier he’d been once before. Serious. Disciplined. And not imagining getting laid twenty-four hours a day.

  Inside the cabin there was peace, and safety, but outside, anything could happen. There were things that could kill them. The elements. Predators. Ice that could give way beneath one of them. Probably a lot of other things he hadn’t thought about yet. The mother polar bear that had passed by just that morning could kill him with a swipe of her paw. And she was half the size of a male bear.

  He went to the tool closet, built into the side of the cabin, and took out the wood saw. Examining the serrated teeth of the tool, he imagined telling them they couldn’t go outside anymore. Or at least not venture far from the cabin. Sydney wouldn’t care, but Victoria and Ross loved working with him.

  For the next hour, he cut the logs and stacked them high. The growing pile satisfied a need inside him, a need to provide for Victoria and the two children. He shed his coat and tossed it over the railing. The sun dropped to the west and a chill hung in the air, but his work made him hot. The heavy coat made his work more difficult.

  Sydney came to the window and gaped when she saw him working without a coat. She shook her head and twirled her finger next to her temple and then shot him a wide grin before disappearing. Back to read a book, probably. Curled up on the couch in front of the fire, probably with Charlie curled up at her feet.

  Neither he nor Victoria told the children about the wolf attack. He hadn’t decided how he would explain the story to them, never sure if it was a good idea to scare the hell out of them so they’d be extra-cautious. Part of him wanted to do just that, and another part wanted to treat them like young but competent adults. He didn’t know the first thing about parenting, but the two children were his to watch over and he needed to get it right.

  After it got dark, he went inside and ate the dinner Victoria had prepared. He ate without tasting the food. Victoria and Sydney both wanted to bathe after dinner, so he carried the big water kettles to the wash room and filled the small tub for them. Laundry hung from lines strung across the room and he tried to ignore Victoria’s lacy things as he went back and forth.

  When they were finished, and the others retreated to their rooms, he went to the washroom at the back of the cabin. He stepped inside, and drew the bolt. Two hours of cutting firewood had given him a workout, and while the work hadn’t lessened his anxiety, and his lust, he still needed to get cleaned up.

  He bathed without going through the trouble o
f heating water, dousing himself in the icy water directly from the hand pump. He gritted his teeth as he washed, but it was what he needed. The freezing water offered both penance for his mistake and a way to cool his fevered need.

  With a towel around his hips, he moved quietly through the cabin back to the bedroom, praying she was asleep. The children hadn’t asked for a candle to read and the cabin was still. Even Charlie dozed without snoring. Another storm had blown in. Wind blew around the house, making the rafters creak.

  When he opened their bedroom door, his gaze was drawn to Victoria, lying in the bed. The blankets draped across her hips. She lay on her side, with her bare back to him. His breath caught. The sight of her lying in their bed, the candlelight burnishing her skin, ignited raw desire.

  In a flash, he abandoned the idea of keeping away from Victoria. An avalanche of need swept over him as he let his gaze sweep over the bare expanse of her back. His blood heated. His cock, already hard, turned to steel. He wanted her with a force and hunger that he’d never known.

  “Fuck,” he growled.

  He tossed the towel aside, crawled across the bed and lowered beside her. Was she asleep? He didn’t care. He kissed her shoulder, coaxed her over so she lay on her stomach and brushed his lips to the curve of her neck. She moaned softly. He nipped her, harder than he had in the past and she drew a sharp breath.

  “That will leave a mark,” he whispered gruffly.

  She wriggled her ass. “That I’m yours?”

  Her tone was sassy and with the little shake of her ass he wondered how he managed any self-control at all. Did she think she needed to entice him? He cupped her ass and dug his fingers into her tender flesh. “All mine.”

  “Yes,” she whispered. “I’m yours.”

  Kissing a line down her back, he drew a deep breath, inhaling her scent. She squirmed beneath him. He slid his leg over hers, pinning her to the bed.

  “Be still.”

  “Your beard is scratchy.”

  He laughed softly. “I shaved before we got on the plane. This is not a beard.”

  She twisted and grumbled, and her protests made him almost smile. Some of the day’s tension eased from his mind. Worry and regret faded and all he could think of was making her his. Of not fucking stopping until he’d made her wild, screaming his name, and pleading for release.

  Today, he’d seen the woman who was his entire world almost torn apart by a giant alpha wolf and something had shifted inside him. All the civility and restraint he’d battled for weeks to keep in place was ripped away. What was left was as brutal as the huge alpha wolf he’d flung off Victoria in the forest.

  He scattered kisses across the small of her back. “Up on your hands and knees.”

  She responded immediately, but gave him a questioning look. He rolled down to the bed, grasped her waist and lifted her over him so she straddled his face.

  “Holy shit, Clay,” she hissed.

  He smacked her ass and gripped her hips, drawing her down to him. He wanted her, all of her, and he wanted to make her dirty and his and have her exactly the way he pleased. Her scent drew a possessive growl from him. Her pussy was sweet. He was going to take his time and savor every moment as he made her lose her mind. At first, she resisted, stiffening in his hold, but the moment he traced his tongue along her sensitive flesh she whimpered.

  Her small sounds drove him wild. Her arousal grew with each passing second. Writhing above him, she trembled with need, whispered his name. Tonight, it wouldn’t matter if she screamed. The wind blasted the small cabin and drowned out any noise either of them made. He sucked her clit and when she begged for release, he relented and took her over the edge, growling with primitive satisfaction when she cried out his name. She collapsed beside him, weak from her shattering orgasm.

  He rolled over, clasped her chin and kissed her. She lay beneath him, her eyes closed. “I should wait, but I won’t. I don’t care if this is your first time or you’re not on the pill or if the fucking bed squeaks. I want you. Tonight. Now.”

  Her lids fluttered and she gazed at him for a moment before smiling.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Victoria

  For a big man, he moved quickly. In an instant he was over her, settling between her thighs. Clasping her head between his hands, he held her gaze. His cock pressed against her sensitive core, and without any conscious thought, she parted her thighs more and opened to him. He entered her with slow, gentle movements. While he didn’t say a word, she knew he watched her for signs of pain.

  She nodded to encourage him. Giving herself to him was the start of something inevitable, something she’d wanted for longer than she cared to admit, even to herself. They’d been one, a couple, ever since they’d boarded the small plane in Sitka Lake. Losing her innocence to Clay had been set in motion by fate. It had only been a matter of time.

  The sensation of being filled impossibly grew until a single thrust brought a sharp pain. She gasped. He stilled and waited until she pressed her fingers into his shoulders. Lowering, he caught her mouth with a hungry kiss. With each stroke, her pain ebbed until something else took its place, a tight coil of pleasure that wound around her senses.

  Skimming her fingers along his back, she traced the bands of muscle and sinew. Large, rippling muscles framed smaller ones. The rough hair of his chest accentuated his massive build. He was powerful and twice her size, but treated her with infinite care, like she was precious and fragile. Something told her that wouldn’t always be the case. For her first time, he wanted to shield her from as much pain or discomfort as he could.

  He lowered his hand to cup her breast, groaning as he brushed his thumb over her tight nipple. Pleasure spilled across her skin. Seeking more of his touch, she arched her back.

  He muttered a single word. “Mine.”

  To her amazement, her pleasure spiraled and heated her body. He sensed her arousal. The feral gleam in his eye told her as much. Lifting her legs, she clasped his hips. From this position, he could deepen his thrusts and almost immediately her body responded. Small mewling cries spilled from her lips. She arched and writhed as she built again, finally shattering beneath him as he followed an instant later.

  He rolled to his side, facing her, and while she could hardly find the strength or will to breathe, he smiled at her. “Want to know how long I’ve wanted to make you mine?”

  She nodded.

  “Since the first time I saw you. You walked through the foyer of the Lodge in a beige dress and kick-ass boots and gave me a look.”

  “What kind of look?”

  “Like a, ‘who the hell do you think you are?’ look.”

  “No.”

  “I thought to myself, ‘I’m your husband, baby-doll.’”

  She felt her face heat. Candlelight burnished his handsome features as a slow smile spread across his mouth.

  “Is that what you thought?” she asked. “Truly?”

  “Truly.”

  He got up, a smirk curving his lips, and put on his boxers and sweat pants. He unlocked the door and left the bedroom, shutting the door softly behind him, leaving her alone in bed, listening to the wind’s howl. When he came back he returned to the bed, wrapping one arm around her while he helped her clean up.

  She flinched and he soothed her with a gentle word. Clay said something about burning the cloth in the fire. He looked solemn and spoke quietly before slipping out the door, but when he returned he wore a playful smile once again.

  “I knew the instant I laid eyes on you that we were going to be together. Love and marriage and all that.”

  She shrugged a shoulder. “We’ll be out of here one day. We’ll see if you put your money where your mouth is.”

  His brows lifted. “I intend to. I had a grand seduction planned for you in Napa. Dinner. Walks in the moonlight. The opera.”

  “We can have a do-over in Napa.”

  He lifted his chin. “I think I should get a refund on my room. Or a free stay.”

&nb
sp; She bit her lip and shook her head. “Sorry, sir. We don’t offer refunds without seventy-two-hours’ notice.”

  “What if I saved the owner’s daughter’s life? And the lives of two precious and innocent children?”

  She smiled. “No exceptions.”

  “What if I marry the owner’s daughter?”

  She pretended to think ponder his question. “Possibly,” she drawled.

  He closed the distance between them and pressed her back to the bed. “What if I spank the owner’s daughter’s ass?”

  She giggled as he lowered to kiss her. “Maybe. Yes, I think we could work something out. I’ve seen what those hands can do.”

  “Good. I get to set my evil plan in motion.” He threaded his fingers through hers and brushed his lips across her mouth.

  “Where you do what, exactly?”

  “Convince you that I’m your man. That we belong together.”

  A thrill ran through her veins. He said the words often, that he was her man and that they belonged together, but this time he said the words right after they’d made love. The words, the light in his eyes and they soft pulse of having given herself over, hummed inside her. She was his. He was hers. They’d shared something they’d never shared before.

  “And then?” she asked.

  “Take you to bed. Keep you there,” he said softly. “Fuck you. A lot. Order room service and feed you.”

  His words were filthy. Yet he whispered them like a sonnet or some sort of love poem. She smiled, closed her eyes and moaned. “Room service?”

  His smile widened. “Out of all that, room service is the part that sounds good to you?”

  A wave of laughter came over her. “I have to admit, it sounds pretty amazing. My mother’s chef won’t have anything that comes from a can.”

  “So is that a yes? You agree to my plan?”

  She sobered and drew a deep, contented sigh. “I do agree. It sounds heavenly.”

  “I’m going to keep us safe until help arrives or the snows melt and I go get help and then we’re going to have a little vacation. Just the two of us. No short people.”