My Body-Mine

by Blakely Bennett

  “Actually, I hope you might share some of your experiences with him so I could write about them.”

  “That might be fun but all I want to do at this point is crash.”

  “Thanks for coming by here first. Have you seen Marcello?”

  “Yes,” she said, rising up to her feet.

  “And?”

  “I’m not sure much has shifted for us or should I say him? Did you do something to him? He seems different today. More introspective. I’m not sure what it is.”

  “He did discipline me today and we fucked, but—”

  “I figured discipline was involved when I saw the horse in the living room.” She paused and turned away. I assumed she was heading to her room but instead she turned to face me. “I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be living here.”

  “What? Wait, this is merely a bump in the road. I absolutely do not want you to leave, Janice. Please stay open to working this out. I’ll talk to Marcello again.”

  That seemed to piss her off although my intent was exactly the opposite. “Stay out of it, Jane. Like I said, this isn’t about you; this is between Marcello and me.”

  “I’m sorry I don’t mean to upset—”

  “I know. I just need some sleep. We can talk later and share some stories then, okay?”

  “Sure,” I said, but my distress at the thought of being the only woman in Marcello’s house stayed with me.

  Janice shut the door behind her and I grabbed my laptop, settling myself in the chair.

  Jane: You on?

  Chase: Waiting for you …

  Jane: Very funny.

  Chase: What’s up?

  Jane: Marcello is home.

  Chase: And how is that?

  Jane: Fantastic! 

  Chase: Gr8! Did he ask about me?

  Jane: That’s your first question?

  Chase: Scroll up and you will see.

  Jane: Very funny.

  Chase: Well?

  Jane: Of course.

  Chase: And? I feel like I’m at the dentist.

  Jane: ??

  Chase: Pulling teeth!

  Jane: LMAO

  Chase: Soooooo ….

  Jane: You sure are the impatient one. That’s usually my job. I told him about going to the club and that you drove me home.

  Chase: And going by the beach house?

  Jane: Of course. I have nothing to hide.

  Chase: And how you feel about me?

  Jane: Yes again. That we’re just friends and that’s all I’m interested in.

  Chase: Uh-huh, whatever you have to tell yourself or him to get through the days.

  Jane: The truth hurts. :P

  Chase: A knife through the heart! You should be kinder to me. Andre thinks so.

  Jane: Give this to Andre for me. :P :P :P

  Chase: I think I’ll pass on that. I’d rather he like my next girlfriend.

  Jane: I hope that for you as well, but that will not be me. Think we could let the girlfriend thing rest?

  Chase: Sure, I just like teasing you. So does this mean we can be friends?

  Jane: Only if you behave yourself.

  Chase: Another note to self (the list is getting long)—do not bring up how I want to ravish Jane and make her my girlfriend ever again.

  Jane: Chase!

  Chase: Done, finito, will never happen again! So since we are ALLOWED to be friends can we run together some time?

  Jane: If I decide I want to, yes.

  Chase: I can help you decide. ;)

  Jane: I came on here for some advice, but I think another time.

  Chase: I promise to behave. Shoot.

  Jane: It’s rather complicated.

  Chase: As I have said before, give me a little credit for being able to sort it out.

  Jane: Fine. LOL.

  Chase: 

  Jane: Did I mention that Janice went away for the weekend?

  Chase: No, just that Marcello wasn’t as interested in her now that he has fallen in love with you.

  Jane: Marcello loaned her to another Dom.

  Chase: Can he do that with you?

  Jane: No, he can’t, but he can share me as long as he’s present.

  Chase: Damn, that made my cock hard.

  Jane: How about you keep those tidbits to yourself?

  Chase: I thought we were all about the honesty.

  Jane: We are … it’s just ….

  I didn’t know what to write to him. I definitely didn’t want to share that I had felt his words directly on my clit when I read his reaction.

  Chase: Okay, continue.

  Jane: I had hoped it would help the situation that she had another sexual outlet but I don’t think it really changed anything.

  Chase: Well, if the issue is the lack of attention from Marcello, I don’t see how it would.

  Jane: Yeah, well, I still had some hope it might make a difference. She mentioned leaving, which scares the hell out of me.

  Chase: Why?

  Jane: I’ve always seen her as a sort of buffer. She likes pain way more than I and that gives Marcello an outlet for his more violent appetites.

  Chase: Does he discipline you?

  Jane: Yes.

  Chase: What does he use?

  Jane: Whatever he wants.

  Chase: Oh fuck.

  Jane: What?

  Chase: Never mind. Do I understand correctly that before Luke you weren’t into BDSM, that you fell into the lifestyle?

  Jane: Tripped, stumbled and fell, yes.

  Chase: I’m confused about something.

  Jane: Yeah?

  Chase: What was the issue with Luke? I’m assuming you married him because you wanted what he offered you?

  Jane: Yes, mostly, but his control was absolute.

  Chase: You mean not just sex?

  Jane: Yes. Just before it ended I thought I was living in bliss.

  Chase: Were you?

  Jane: Yes, but as Marcello and Janice will tell you, it was bound to end.

  Chase: Do you believe that?

  Jane: I don’t know but it hardly matters now.

  Chase: Marcello? Is his control absolute?

  Jane: We have a contract that specifies what he has control over and what he does not.

  Chase: Did you have one with Luke?

  Jane: No. Not in the same sense. Luke and I had agreements.

  Chase: What is the contract for?

  Jane: It clarifies boundaries and expectations.

  Chase: Hmmm. Would Luke have been okay with us being friends?

  Jane: Definitely not.

  Chase: Why?

  Jane: He didn’t like me talking to any men other than his friends and associates.

  Chase: And you were okay with that?

  Jane: I loved him.

  Chase: I find the idea of the kinky play a turn on, but why not just keep it to sex? Do it when you’re both in the mood?

  Jane: I don’t know how to respond to that. I’m sure it can be done, but not with Luke or Marcello.

  Chase: IC. So what are you going to do about Janice?

  Jane: I don’t know what to do. She’s told me to stay out of it.

  Chase: Maybe you should listen to her. It’s really for the two of them to sort out. What will happen if she leaves?

  Jane: I honestly don’t know. Marcello seems different these days. I do wonder if his wants and needs are changing.

  Chase: Marriage?

  Jane: Definitely not with me!

  Chase: Do you like being controlled?

  Jane: My body sure does.

  Chase: Ahhhh.

  Jane: Light bulb went off?

  Chase: Something like that went off.

  Jane: LOL. You are a very bad boy.

  Chase: Spank me very much!

  Jane: Is it like that? Now I see why you like “Control” by Puddle of Mudd. Did Kennedy punish you? ;)

  Chase: LMAO I might let you tie me down, but let’s say I’m much more interested in the other way arou
nd.

  Jane: That doesn’t surprise me. I seem to attract the controlling type. LMAO!!!!

  Chase: I will get you for that one. ;)

  Jane: You would like to try.

  Chase: No doubt.

  Jane: Thanks for listening.

  Chase: Running away again?

  Jane: I’ve had my Chase fill.

  Chase: Not even close, Jane, but I’ll let it go. A run tomorrow?

  Jane: Maybe later in the week. I’ll let you know.

  Chase: Sounds good. Catch you on the flipside.

  Jane: Bye. 

  Famished, I shut my laptop and set out to find out the plans for dinner. At the end of the hall I glanced into the living room, but no Marcello. The leather horse had been removed, and the couch rearranged. I padded past Janice’s closed bedroom door to Marcello’s room. Lightly knocking on the partially open door, I headed into the room.

  “Marcello?” I called out.

  A door opened to the right of what I’d always assumed was a closet. His radiant smile warmed me. He held out his arms and I cuddled in next to him. Once released, I craned my neck to see around him. The small office had walls lined with stuffed bookshelves and a massive desk that took up most of the space.

  “That’s a lot of books,” I said.

  “Want to come in?” He stepped aside and gestured toward his study.

  I tilted my head, assessing Marcello. He seemed different but I couldn’t say how. I understood what Janice meant. “I thought this was sanctified space … enter at your own peril.”

  Marcello laughed and said, “People change.”

  I smiled. “Indeed they do.” I slipped past him and entered the sacred space. Forgetting about my hunger I explored the large volumes on the shelves to the right. “Law books?”

  “A hobby of mine.”

  “Huh. And those,” I said, pointing toward the far wall.

  “Most of those are business related.”

  I caught sight of a diploma hanging by the door. “You have an MBA from NYU Stern?”

  “Why do you seem so surprised?” Lifting off the door jam, he took his place behind the desk in the large, plush, black leather chair.

  “You never mentioned going to college.”

  “I guess it never came up.”

  “A man of mystery.” Sauntering over to his desk, I shifted the stack of bills on top of his blotter to the side and hopped up in front of him. “Have you ever had sex in here?” I said, putting my bare feet on his lap.

  “Not with someone else,” he said, running his hand up my calves. “Ready for me again so soon?”

  “I’m always ready for you.” A blush accompanied my smile as I reached out to touch his cheek.

  “That is one of the many things I love about you.”

  “Wait, does that mean you masturbate in here?”

  He laughed. “I have my needs.”

  “I guess I just assumed you always had someone to take your needs out on.”

  “Mostly,” he said, holding back a laugh. “Your astonished expression is priceless.”

  “Which reminds me, the picture in your drawer, who is that?”

  “An old friend who lives in New York.”

  My smile vanished and I asked, “Did you see her when you were in New York?”

  “Yes, I usually do when I go visit my mother.”

  “Did you sleep with this woman?” My voice rose as I continued, “Are you planning to add her to this household? Were you planning to tell me about her?” For the first time with Marcello, I felt jealous. Never in regards to Janice, but the idea that he had sex with that elegant redheaded woman really raised my ire.

  “Whoa, Jane, settle down.”

  “Answer the question, Marcello.” I wanted to shove his chair away from me, but he still held my calves in his palms.

  “I don’t know if I should be overjoyed that you’re jealous or punish you for your attitude. At any rate, my love, she’s an old friend I have definitely considered having in my home, and I have slept with her on many occasions and might choose to again. I did not, however, sleep with her on this last trip.”

  “Let me get this straight … You can sleep with anyone you want, whenever you want, but I can’t.”

  “Are you confused?”

  “Baffled over why I keep finding myself in these completely inequitable relationships. Why add to the contract that you’d take Janice and me into consideration when bringing a new submissive into the house?”

  “Because you’d have to live with the person.”

  “Have you slept with other women since we’ve been together?”

  “Since you signed the contract, no.”

  “But before that?”

  “Yes, I have.”

  “I see … huh, well, I guess I have to process this new bit of information.” Again, I had lived in a delusion of my own making. “Why didn’t you sleep with her? Did she expect you to?”

  “Jane,” he said, and smiled as he ran his hands up my thighs. “I had no desire to.”

  That made some difference to me, but I had a hard time digesting that he had been sleeping around at the same time he’d been cajoling me into signing his contract. His confession didn’t satisfy my curiosity, so I asked, “Why see her then?”

  “She’s an old friend.”

  He tugged me forward and hugged me to him. “Thank you again for today.”

  I waited quietly for a few moments and then recalled what had taken place earlier in the day. “My pleasure,” I said, holding his head against my belly and running my hands through his thick dark hair. I meant it, but I remained in turmoil.

  He breathed in my smell and sighed. We stayed like that for a few more minutes until my stomach growled. “Someone’s a hungry girl.”

  “That’s why I came searching for you … that and my car is still at the café.”

  “Your car has already been taken care of. I had a couple of the bus boys retrieve it for you.”

  “That’s very sweet of you.” I tilted my head and kissed him on his cheek. He could be so considerate. “What’s the plan for dinner?” I asked, leaning back on my hands, awaiting his response.

  “Would you mind eating in your room tonight? I’d like to have some time alone with Janice.” He rested his head on my thigh and I rubbed his neck. “That feels wonderful.”

  “No, I don’t mind. I think it’s a great idea, actually, and necessary.” It would give me the time I needed to journal and sort out the new information I now had about Marcello.

  “Thank you for understanding. Although I do want you in my bed tonight and will come get you later.”

  “Okay. Should I just choose something from the kitchen?” I circled to the side and slid off the desk.

  He grabbed my arm before I had a chance to leave. “I’ll have Sarah bring dinner to you. And bella … I love you,” he said, and kissed my palm. He swiveled his chair, scooped me up into his lap, and kissed me deeply. After he thoroughly took my breath away, he said, “This study needs to be christened.”

  “My vote is for this chair first.” I laughed. He set me on my feet and gave me a little shove on my way.

  My feelings for Marcello left me confused. We continued to grow closer, and he seemed to be opening up to me in a new way. I remained concerned over the inequity of our arrangement but couldn’t deny the comfort of the love he provided. I found it fascinating that my interactions with Chase enhanced my response to Marcello instead of impeding it. I decided to run with Chase on the beach later in the week and look for opportunities to reconnect with Janice.

  I impatiently waited on the edits Claudia would make to Falling Through The Rabbit Hole and actually considered seeing my mother. I felt hugely proud that someone found my writing worthy to be published, and I wanted to tell her about it. Maybe she’d stop encouraging me to go back to my old job. At the same time, I hoped she’d never ever read my book and understand the truth about the life I had chosen. Sometimes ignorance truly is bli
ss.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Life seemed to settle down over the next few days. Each night I slept in Marcello’s bed, thoroughly satisfied with our sex and growing connection. I had arranged to run on the beach with Chase on Friday afternoon and still held off contacting my mother.

  “I have a surprise for you tonight,” Marcello said as we woke up on Thursday and I stretched out next to him.

  “Something fun, I hope,” I said, as I moved into Child’s Pose to stretch out my lower back, my arms extended in front of me.

  “Oh, I’m certain you’ll enjoy yourself. Time to start our day,” he said, swatting my bottom before he got up from the bed.

  I spent the rest of the day in a knot of anticipation and titillation. During my run on the beach all sorts of possibilities for debauchery ran through my mind. Like an animal in heat, I seemed to be continually wet and stimulated.

  The three of us ate a light dinner together, and I finally felt like the balance in the house had been restored until Marcello announced, “Jane and I are heading over to Matt’s in a little while. We’ll be home later tonight.”

  The mood in the dining room abruptly shifted as Janice jerked to a standing position, her chair falling behind her. “What the fuck, Marcello?” she bellowed.

  “Excuse me?” Marcello spoke calmly but he had leaned forward in his seat, chest out, ready to pounce.

  “Can’t I have anything for myself?” For the first time ever I saw tears in Janice’s eyes.

  “I don’t understand,” I said. “Who is Matt?”

  “Shut up, Jane,” Janice said, not even glancing at me, still locked in a stare with Marcello.

  “Janice,” Marcello said. He spoke in an intense, ominous whisper.

  “I’ve had enough of this shit,” Janice cried. “The both of you.” She stormed out of the room, slamming the dining room door behind her.

  Out of the corner of my eye I could see the mix of rage and concern in Marcello. I watched him sorting through his emotions as they played across the screen of his face. I thought it most wise to sit quietly until he had worked out what he planned to do about Janice. Matt had to be the Dominant she had just spent time with, which meant Marcello planned to share me with him.