A Face To Die For

by Jan Warburton

  I sensed he wanted my agreement.

  'Why not?' I replied. 'She could set up her own modelling school, or an agency, open a fashion boutique ... anything like that, especially with all her inside knowledge.' I agreed to talk it over with her myself when I visited her the next day.

  Oliver and I had never once discussed Kate's drug habit. He'd known nothing about it until it came to light during her earlier hospital treatment. Because she had been under such intensive care in those first weeks they had been quick to detect her dependency and so a successful detox programme had been actioned. In fact, much of her hallucinating and terror seizures had been due to her drug withdrawal.

  'Did you know anything about her addiction, Annabel?' Oliver finally asked me one day.

  I felt embarrassed to admit I had. 'Yes, I did - up to a point. Although I'd had no idea it had taken quite such a hold over her, until we went to Holland, to the health clinic.'

  'I wish I'd known. I was so delighted she was eating better after that trip too. It seems I was blind to so much. To think she was slowly getting hooked out of her tiny mind and I hadn't a clue! She was clever though, covering her tracks.'

  'Oliver, loads of models do drugs, some to a lesser degree than others. Mostly they smoke grass and stiff coke, but heroin has started to become a big thing with those who can afford it. It’s possible she was even using that. You remember Daniel who worked for me?'

  'Yeah. Kate liked him. Did he get her started on it then?'

  I nodded. 'Yes, I even got persuaded to try it myself. But thank God I didn't get hooked.’

  'Bastards like him should be strung up! Anyway, he got banged up in the end. Best place for him. I remember Luigi once remarking to me how he wished he could think of a way to free you of him. Y’know, it might even have been Luigi who tipped off the drug squad?'

  'I didn't think of that! But we'll never know now, will we?' The thought of Luigi again sent an icy stab through my heart. It twisted inside me then slowly dissipated, leaving the old familiar dull ache. Dear God, will this ever stop?

  One evening after work, I called to see Kate. I hadn't seen her or Oliver for a couple of weeks. She was now home again, just making occasional visits to the clinic. The grafts had taken and her skin was healing well. Less work had been needed on her face than originally thought and her right eye, although marginally affected by a small scar and an indentation to the side, had cleared up well. In time she was assured that clever makeup would camouflage most of it anyway. It was most encouraging.

  She was also plumper and had lost her gaunt, emaciated look at last. Dressed in a burgundy, high-necked cashmere jumper over black velvet trousers, she looked quite radiant. Her dark hair had regained its shine and it had been cut in a flattering new layered, shorter style. Feathered over the sides of her scarred cheeks, it framing her face beautifully.

  As we settled down with a bottle of white Cabernet to chat, she grinned across at me.

  'I've something to tell you, but I promised to wait until Oliver gets in.' She smiled over the rim of her wine glass and I detected a twinkle in her eyes.

  'Something exciting?'

  'Sort of. You'll be surprised. But I must wait. If I say anymore, it'll spoil it.' Laughing, she curled herself up in her corner of the huge leather sofa.

  I couldn't believe this change in her. It was wonderful. This news, whatever it was, must certainly be good news. Maybe Oliver had persuaded her to start up a small modelling school after all? Although, the last time we'd discussed the possibility, she'd not shown much interest.

  When Oliver arrived twenty minutes later, he came straight across to kiss Kate and to hug me. 'Have you said anything yet?' he asked Kate, pouring himself a glass of the wine.

  'No, I was waiting for you, darling.' She flashed him a secret smile. 'OK then!' They both looked like a couple of happy kids. 'One, two, three! We're having a baby!'

  'What!' I gasped. 'But how? I mean, I know how, but you didn't think you could, did you?'

  'I know, and it's taken me the best part of a week for it to sink in, hasn't it Oliver?'

  Oliver nodded, with a self-satisfied grin. 'Not exactly keen initially, were you, my love? But, thank God, the hormones kicked in to change your mind.'

  I was overjoyed for them. It couldn't have happened at a better time. No wonder she was looking so well and happy.

  'It's fantastic news! I'm delighted. When's it due?'

  'Difficult to be too exact, not having proper periods and all that, but they reckon I'm probably about three and a half months, so it's due sometime in March, I think. Oliver reckons it must've happened just before you and I left for Italy, Annabel.'

  'So, it could be an Aries then,' I laughed. 'You'll have to watch out, Aries children are very dominant you know. My sister was one.'

  'Hey, watch it, Annabel,' Oliver protested, giving me a tiny dig in the arm. I'm an Aries. Nothing wrong with us rams.'

  'Well, let's hope it's a girl then!' I laughed, recalling what a true ram Oliver could be.

  'Whatever it is, it'll be gorgeous!' said Kate.

  With a proud grin, Oliver turned to me. 'You'll agree to be a Godparent, I hope? We'd like that very much, wouldn't we darling?'

  Kate nodded, smiling.

  'I'd love to. Thanks. '

  Instantly, a brief sense of sadness swept over me, knowing that I could only ever be a godparent and never a real parent. But I was still pleased to be wanted again, even in that capacity.

  I simply couldn't believe the change in Kate. It was as if a miracle had happened. She'd been so thin and unfit before and I knew she'd had no proper periods for years.

  A week later, Kate was rushed into hospital with a threatened miscarriage, once more causing her happy mental state to collapse into deep depression.

  CHAPTER 29

  The days passed and Kate didn't miscarry, although irregular blood spotting continued to cause concern throughout the next two months. The problem, a hormonal imbalance, was eventually corrected with medication. Rest and careful monitoring were also still essential for the remainder of her confinement.

  One Saturday morning I was shopping in Harvey Nichols, when Oliver spied me across the makeup counters. He was ordering something for Kate before driving down to Hampshire later to pick up his son Luke for the weekend. Over a coffee he expressed how worried he was about Kate.

  'The pregnancy is completely sapping her strength and the baby's drawing unmercifully on whatever it needs. Her body's been deprived for so long, that her system is having a hell of a job coping. We should never have risked her getting pregnant.'

  He looked haggard and drew anxiously on his cigarette. 'Of course she'd always thought it unlikely she could conceive and stopped taking the pill ages ago. I feel awful about that now. I should have been more responsible.' He flicked the cigarette pack over and over on the table. 'I should give up these damn things too. Kate has, but I'm careful not to smoke when she's about. She's banned it anywhere near her, insisting it's as bad as smoking herself.'

  'So she's taking her pregnancy that seriously is she?'

  Having been so involved with sorting out Luigi's estate I hadn’t seen much of Kate or Oliver recently.

  'Oh yes! The bedrest plus all the care she has to take has made her more so than ever. She has become the archetypal pregnant mum; determined to do everything right. Shame it's come a bit late. According to the doctors, all those years dieting, of denying herself proper nourishment - plus the drug addiction, has had a terrible affect on her internal organs. Her kidneys and liver are really struggling. She's very anaemic too.'

  'It must be worrying…'

  'Yeah. I hate to say it, but in some ways I wish she'd never got pregnant, or at least had it terminated in the early stages. But she'd already had an abortion before, in her teens, and couldn't face another.'

  'I see,' I said, fully empathising with Kate's choice to keep the baby. I knew I wouldn't have been able to face a second termination either. Just the
idea made me feel quite sick. 'She'll be fine in the end, Oliver. You'll see.'

  'I do hope so.'

  I eyed the kiddie's jigsaw sticking out of the Harrods bag beside him. 'Are you collecting your son this weekend?'

  'Yeah, I haven't seen him for ages with all Kate's problems.' A pensive expression clouded his face.

  'So Luke will soon have a baby half brother or sister. How do you think he'll react? Do you foresee any problems?'

  'Hope not. It's hard enough as it is, ensuring the little fellow enjoys our access time together.' He looked at me solemnly. 'I'm a fully-fledged member of the divorced father's club at the zoo now, y’know? It's poignant really, us men out for the day with our estranged children giving each other knowing nods as if to say, "Here we go again!"’

  He smiled but I felt sad for him. The situation couldn't be easy. I'd known Oliver for quite a few years now but he'd never once talked like this. It was touching.

  'So, how about you, Annabel? You're looking heaps better than the last time I saw you.'

  'I am thanks, though I've had to return to Italy twice to sort out a few things there, which I find so painful. I really adore the place, especially Tuscany, but it holds such sad memories for me now.' I poured us both another half cup of coffee.

  'Of course it does. So you'll have inherited everything then? Sorry, that sounds rude but I assume you must be Luigi's main beneficiary? Has it been very complicated?' He lit another cigarette.

  'Actually, no, I haven't inherited it all. And yes, it has been quite complicated. The fact that all his companies are in Italy for one thing and he always kept his business affairs very much apart from our personal life, so I knew very little about them. The shoe and glass factories are the only businesses I have inherited outright but I've appointed others to manage them. I can't possibly do it from here, and nor do I want the involvement. Then there has been the disposal of his various properties. The only one I want to keep for myself is the Tuscany villa. I want my share in the yacht to be transferred to his sister, Maria. Everything else is to be disposed of by the family lawyer.'

  'Is that wise? Can you be sure they won't rip you off?'

  'Oh yes, it’ll be fine. He's an old family friend. Anyway, I honestly can't be bothered with the worry of it all.'

  'So I suppose you now must be worth a pretty packet?'

  'Well ... yes, I suppose I am now quite comfortably off. In fact I could easily retire tomorrow,' I quipped, attempting to make light of it. 'But I'd willingly give all of it up for things to be the way they were.'

  'I know. We all would,' sighed Oliver. 'In fact the only good thing to have come out of all this… is Kate coming to terms with life and kicking the drugs. I just pray everything will now go all right with the baby's birth.'

  I agreed, and soon he went off to collect his son.

  *

  A decision was finally made to sign up nineteen-year-old Holly Roberts to take over from Kate as the new face of Silk Wrappings. She would also model for Kate's swimwear collection. A raven haired, green-eyed beauty, she was a lot like a young Kate in appearance and was already causing quite a stir in the business.

  Worried about discussing it with Kate, I waited until the first photos for the Christmas perfume advertising campaign were ready for release in November before doing so. They were fabulous shots and I hoped that when she saw them she'd agree I'd chosen a good substitute. I prayed it wouldn't cause her to get too emotional now her own modelling career was over.

  As it turned out I needn't have worried one iota. Totally absorbed in her future motherhood role, she wasn't a bit concerned.

  'I'm so flattered that you wanted someone to look so like me again,' she said, studying the photos. 'She really does too, doesn't she? Of course you're giving her the greatest break any model could wish for, Annabel. I hope she knows how lucky she is.'

  Seated with her hands resting on her swollen stomach it was all in such striking contrast to her emaciated look of several months back. She grinned. 'I'm not jealous you know. Does that surprise you? It surprises me actually. I've come to terms with myself at last Annabel. I realise I'll never model again, and that's that.'

  It hardly seemed like Kate talking. She'd always been so desperately concerned about her career waning; now here she was accepting it so graciously.

  'I'm happy you feel like that. I admit I was rather dreading you seeing these shots.'

  'Well you shouldn't have been,' she laughed. 'Annabel, I've been thinking ... after the birth I seriously think I’d like to open up my own model agency.' Her eyes sparkled momentarily with enthusiasm before saddening a little. 'But, first things first. I just wish I could enjoy my pregnancy more. All this bed rest is hell. Roll on the birth I say! Oliver and I will be getting married afterwards too. Best for the baby, don't you think?'

  I smiled, nodding in agreement. Her scars had healed up and she was allowed to wear more makeup now. But I'd noticed her hair had lost some of its lustre. She was pale and all-eyes, and constantly tired. Oliver was right; the baby was draining a lot from her.

  Following a pleasant Christmas and New Year in North Wales, I returned to London determined to get the Winter Cruise range started, including the Kate Marshall Solar Swimwear collection. I had already completed my designs and this was now in production. Jules was handling things brilliantly, and with Lynda's part-time help we were still a perfect team.

  Holly’s replacement for Kate had proved to be a perfect choice, giving the Christmas perfume promotion campaign a massive boost. Sales figures were the best for three years.

  *

  During late January I decided to visit Vanessa in Surrey for the weekend to enjoy a spell of domesticity with her and her two adorable children. I arrived on a crisp, bright Saturday morning to find Rowley, as expected, about leave for a rugby match.

  'Oh, thank God you're here,' he groaned as I entered the front door. 'Vanessa's feeling pretty rough in there on the sofa.' He nodded in the direction of the sitting room. 'Poor old thing's got a damned awful migraine.'

  Lucy came running to greet me and began hugging my hips and Matthew was trying to show me a new Tonka toy.

  'Look, Ann-bel, it lifts things!' shrieked Matthew.

  'Shut up Matt! Annabel, you'll play with me, won't you?' babbled Lucy. I nodded helplessly at both kiddies.

  Rowley pulled an embarrassed face. 'I’m afraid it's Nanny's weekend off too… and I can’t miss this match. I say would you mind awfully giving Vanessa a hand with these two? She really is suffering, poor old love.' He looked anxiously at his watch. 'Look, must dash. Damned sorry about all this, Annabel. Sure you can cope, old girl?'

  I nodded again in helpless nervousness. 'No problem, of course I'll help.' Having had so little experience of children though I felt slightly inadequate, especially when most women of my age were married with families. And here I was, feeling anxious to be simply helping out with Vanessa's two.

  However, once I saw Vanessa, my heart sank to the floor.

  The curtains were drawn to partially darken the sitting room and she was stretched out on the sofa looking dreadful. Her wan face told me she was obviously feeling extremely poorly. Oh my God, it didn't look as if I'd be simply helping with the children; I would probably be in complete charge of them! Hell, I was literally being thrown in at the deep end and I felt barely able to swim. Would I be able to cope?

  'I'm so sorry,' she gasped, holding her head. This only came on suddenly about an hour before you arrived. It's really bad. Oh, I feel so sick...' Leaning over she retched several times into a bucket beside the sofa.

  'Mummy sick! Mummy sick!' yelled Matthew while Lucy, handing her mother a wad of Kleenex, tried to quiet him.

  'Vanessa, you must get yourself to bed,' I said, suddenly taking control of the situation. 'You'll be better resting upstairs ’till it passes. Don't worry, the children will be fine with me, won't you kids?'

  'Yes! Yes!' shouted Matt, as poor Vanessa groaned and covered her ears. Then s
he took my advice and slowly disappeared upstairs to rest in peace.

  Later, after several games of Tiddlywinks, and lunch… the kiddies and I having negotiated a successful meal of scrambled eggs, bacon and toast; I wandered upstairs to check on Vanessa. She seemed a little better although she was still far from well enough to cope with two lively children.

  'Will Rowley be back for supper tonight?' I asked.

  'Yes, he'll get home as soon as the match is over.'

  'Right, well then, I'll cook supper tonight for us all,' I announced. 'The children tell me they love spaghetti, so why don't I do my special authentic Italian spaghetti bolognaise tonight, that Luigi’s sister taught me to make?'

  'Oh Annabel, would you? You are an angel. That would be wonderful. Rowley's sure to be starving when he gets in.'

  'That's decided then. I'll just need a few extra special ingredients. So while you rest, I'll pop into Sainsbury's in town with the children to get what I want. I can take them to the park swings on the way back.'

  'Oh Matt and Lucy will love that. Take my car as Matt's car seat and his pushchair are already in it. You'll need to fill her up with petrol though ... But there's plenty to get you into town. Pick some up at Mercers garage on the way back and charge it to our account.'

  The kids were excited as I dressed them up for the cold. I fitted Matthew into his padded car seat and Lucy snuggled up next to him in the back of Vanessa's estate car. The petrol gauge showed a little below quarter full; fine to leave getting petrol until we drove home. Mercers Garage was, I believed, somewhere near the park. By now I was quite enjoying my new job as childminder for the day. It was nothing like as bad as I'd feared it would be.

  Both children were being cooperative and seemed to like me caring for them. Lucy had been a sweetheart, advising me where things were kept as I'd prepared lunch and thankfully, Matthew had willingly taken his short nap afterwards.

  'Otherwise,' Lucy had said forcibly, 'He'll be a ratty little monster for the rest of the day!'