Let's Be Mature About This

by Renee LaRuse

  “What exactly do you plan on cooking?”

  “Calzoncelli di Ricotta.”

  “That sounds really good,” I said referring to him speaking Italian.

  “Calzoncelli di Ricotta,” Gavin growled into my ear. I giggled as his breath tickled my ear and his accent made my cheeks grow hot.

  “Okay. What exactly is Calzoncelli?”

  “Well I was talking to my mother on the phone the other day and she was scolding me about what scarce home cooked meals I’ve been having and she reminded me of the time she made this for me from scratch. It’s kind of like round ravioli filled with ricotta cheese that has some lemon zest in it. And then you pour meat sauce over it.”

  “That sounds yummy.”

  “It is.”

  “So what else did you talk to your mom about?”

  “Umm, stuff.”

  “What stuff?”

  “Well, you know, we talked about things.”

  “Was my name mentioned anywhere in there?”

  Gavin smiled. “Maybe.”

  His response made me happy but nervous. It was good to know that he wasn’t afraid to mention me to his mother, but it was nerve-wracking to realize how serious our relationship really was.

  I helped Gavin roll out the pasta dough and cut out circles. He mixed the ricotta and egg yolk as I grated lemon zest into it. We stuffed the pasta, sealed them and dropped them into the boiling water. Gavin poured a readymade bottle of meat sauce into a pot and heated it up. He was very proud of himself.

  As we waited on garlic bread to bake I went over to where Belle was laying on the rug in the dining area and picked her up. I pet the soft white hair between her ears. “She sure is lazy today,” I commented.

  Gavin smiled. “I don’t expect her to be jumping around after all the water she drank earlier.”

  I looked down at Belle. “Did Daddy forget to give you your water yesterday?” Gavin shook his head. “You can tell me, Belle. Is that why you were so thirsty? Gavin is a bad daddy isn’t he?” Gavin rolled his eyes at me. Then he took Belle out of my arms and cradled her like a baby.

  “I’d never do that. Right Belle?” Belle lifted her paw and placed it on Gavin’s chin. I laughed at their cuteness. Gavin put Belle back onto the floor and we went to go fix our plates and sit around the dining table. We’d done a pretty good job. The Calzoncelli was great!

  “Enjoying your meal?”

  “Very much,” I said as I raised a forkful to my mouth.

  “Good because you’ll enjoy more of this when we go to my parents’ house for dinner next week.”

  The fork fell out of my hand, bounced off the table and onto the floor where Belle was laying. She looked over at it uninterested.

  * * *

  A couple days later as I was walking across campus to get to class my phone started vibrating. It was Gavin calling.

  “Sydney, I think something’s wrong with Belle.”

  “What do you mean? What’s wrong?”

  “Uh, she wouldn’t eat anything this morning and now she’s vomiting.” Gavin sounded panicked.

  “Oh gosh! Take her to the animal hospital. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. Just take her to the animal hospital right away.”

  “Okay okay. I’ll call you later.”

  “Alright. Love you.”

  “Love you too. Bye.”

  I turned off my phone so it wouldn’t go off during class. As soon as class was over I checked my phone. I had a voice message:

  “Sydney, there’s some bad news about Belle. Their keeping her here for a few more hours until her urinalysis comes back. So, if you can, come down to the animal hospital on Central Avenue. Bye.”

  I drove over to the hospital as fast as I could. When I walked into the room that the woman at the front desk had directed me to, the first thing I saw was Belle laying down, completely still, atop a table. Her stomach rose and fell rhythmically as Gavin stroked her gently, sitting in a chair beside her. He turned his head and gave me a sad smile and then looked back at Belle. “I can’t believe this is it for her,” Gavin said. I looked at him confused. “The doctor said she has chronic renal failure.”

  “I’m so sorry Gavin.” I stood beside him and rubbed his back.

  “I didn’t know I had to worry about something like this for many more years. She’s only six years old. Apparently she’s been showing the symptoms for a week and a half now but I was so damn self-absorbed that I didn’t see that she was dying right in front of me.” Tears ran down Gavin’s cheeks and I joined his silent crying.

  “It’s not your fault, Gavin.” I said through my tears. “I didn’t know either.”

  “She might not live to see the end of the month.”

  “But…The end of the month is only two weeks from now,” I said shocked.

  “I know.”

  I sniffled. “Can she come home?”

  “Yeah. The doctor should be here with some medications for her and we’ll be able to be with her at home. I’m taking the rest of the week off from work.”

  “I’ll come see her as much as I can, okay?”

  Gavin nodded.

  That Sunday night Belle passed away in Gavin’s arms. I was sitting right beside him. She was cremated and Gavin decided to go out to the ocean to spread her ashes. I wore an Indian anklet and bracelet made of little jingling bells to the ceremony, in honor of Belle. Gavin and I stood there at the shore, the wind blowing against our backs. “I’m not sure what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. She already knows.”

  “Um,” Gavin looked down at the yellow wooden box that held Belle’s ashes, “I’ll miss you. You were my girl. You were the longest relationship I’ve ever had with the opposite sex. Hopefully I can translate that to the human world with Sydney here.”

  We smiled at each other. “Sydney will miss you and I’ll miss you,” he said to the box. He threw the contents of the box into the air. We watched as it swirled up and out to sea. I waved goodbye, the bells around my wrist jingling.

  * * *

  When I met Gavin’s dad I could see where Gavin gets his good hair from. Though Mr. Daniel Caselle’s hair was now almost completely white with grey at his sideburns, his hair was gorgeous and all there; no balding going on. It didn’t hurt that Mr. Caselle was easy on the eyes for a man his age. If Gavin looked like his dad in the future I would have no complaints. Gavin’s mom Luisa Caselle made the best Gnocchi with Bolognese sauce I’ve ever eaten!

  Gavin’s mom is a funny, loud woman. Her green eyes were always twinkling and her laughter bounced through the house. She reminded me a little of my own mom except, well, white. She warmed up to me instantly, so that was a relief. Mr. Caselle, however, was not very talkative. I figured it was his personality. Luisa made up for his lack of conversation anyways. Maybe she just doesn’t get a lot of company.

  “Honey, your shoes are amazing! Of course at my age I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing something so provocative. Or maybe I would be caught dead in them because I would most likely fall and break a hip with my luck. Can you die from breaking a hip? There’s probably some Discovery Health show on someone breaking a hip and the hip fatally puncturing a vital organ. I love those shows! I can watch them all day long. Can’t I, Daniel? I mean, put me in front of the television give me a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a pint of vodka and I’m there! Ha ha ha! Speaking of vodka would you like some wine, Sydney? I’ve got white and I’ve got red. Oh, who am I kidding? I know you like it white! Ha ha! Stop giving me that look Gavin! I’m just joking with her. Do you want some wine too, Gavin? No? Daniel?”

  “Sure honey.”

  “Okay, I’ll be right back with that. Don’t talk too much about me while I’m gone. Ha ha!”

  I smiled over at Gavin who was sitting across from me at the table. He slapped a hand to his forehead and dragged it wearily down his face. I laughed and looked over at Mr. Caselle who was sitting beside Gavin. “You will always be entertained, right Mr. Caselle?�
� I smiled

  “Yup,” he said giving me a small smile.

  “Here we are!” Luisa came into the dining room holding two glasses and an oversized glass goblet all filled with white wine. She set one glass in front of her husband, a glass in front of me, and sipped some wine from her goblet before sitting down beside me.

  “Thank you Mrs. Caselle.”

  “You’re welcome sweetie. So polite! And she’s so beautiful, Gavin!” My face grew hot with embarrassment. I sipped some wine from my glass. “So, are you working in advertisement with Gavin?”

  “No. I’m a student right now.”

  Luisa looked at me curiously. “A graduate student?”

  “No. Undergrad.”

  “Sweetie, if you don’t mind me asking, exactly how old are you?”

  I looked over at Gavin confused. Didn’t he tell his parents my age already? “I’m nineteen, Mrs. Caselle.”

  Her jaw dropped. “Daniel, did you know that?”

  “Gavin never did learn how to do difficult things well,” he said smugly and then took a drink of his wine, all with a smirk on his face.

  “She’ll be twenty next month,” Gavin said defensively.

  Luisa grabbed the wine glass from me and set it down near her plate. “Why didn’t you tell me that, Sydney? I could get arrested for furnishing alcohol to a minor!”

  “Mom!”

  “Gavin,” Daniel said fingering his wine glass, “I’d like to speak to you in my office for a moment.”

  Luisa looked at Gavin apologetically. Gavin looked from his mom, to me, then to Mr. Caselle. “Fine.” The two men walked down the hall to the office.

  “I’m so sorry Sydney,” Luisa said as she poured my wine into her goblet. “I didn’t mean to make a scene. I was just shocked! I can tell you’re a mature young woman and that you and Gavin will be fine, but Daniel is such a worry wart, so pessimistic. I think it’s so romantic, you and Gavin!”

  “It’s okay Mrs. Caselle. We should have told you this sooner.”

  “Oh Sydney, go ahead and call me Luisa!”

  * * *

  Once they walked into the office Mr. Caselle closed the door behind them. “Are you going to explain yourself?”

  “For what?” Gavin asked angrily.

  “Not only is the girl black, she’s also nineteen-years-old!”

  “I knew you would say that!”

  “Yeah, you knew I would say that because there’s always going to be my voice in your head warning you when you’re slipping up.”

  “I love Sydney and I don’t care what you think about it. I didn’t come here for your approval of anything! I came here to introduce you to the girl who’s going to have our last name one day.”

  Daniel laughed. “I doubt that.”

  “Did you not hear me? I don’t care what you think!”

  “Gavin, don’t be stupid,” he spat. “A girl like her only sees dollar signs when she looks at you and a ticket out of the ghetto.”

  Gavin walked up to his father and stood within an inch of his face. “Don’t you EVER say something like that about her again or I will consider you dead and buried,” he warned between gritted teeth.

  Daniel just gave him a nasty smile.

  “Just remember,” Gavin said on his way out of the office, “my life isn’t about you anymore.” Gavin walked out of the office and into the dining room rubbing his temple. “Sydney it’s time for us to go.” Sydney and Luisa looked up at Gavin worriedly.

  “Um, okay,” Sydney said quietly. “Bye Luisa.” Sydney stood up and Luisa stood up to follow her and her son to the door.

  Luisa kissed Sydney on both cheeks. “Take care, honey.” Sydney nodded.

  “Bye Mom. I love you.” Gavin kissed her on both cheeks and then on the lips.

  “I love you too baby. Don’t worry about whatever your dad said. He’s getting old and bitter. You go be happy, okay?”

  “Alright Mama.”

  “Oh wait! I fixed an extra pot of Gnocchi and sauce for you!” She hurried off to the kitchen and came back with a huge Tupperware filled with the pasta. “Here you are sweetie. I gave Sydney the secret recipe so when you run out she’s got you covered!” she winked.

  “If I run out.” Gavin smiled. “Thanks Mama.” Gavin kissed his mother on the cheek again and he and Sydney walked out to the car.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “Don’t you know this will go absolutely nowhere?” I giggled.

  “I would call this getting somewhere,” he smiled and continued to suck on my neck right above my collar bone.

  “Why did I think sitting on my bed with you to watch a movie would end innocently?” I breathed.

  “You think too much of me.”

  We were lying on our sides, facing each other, with Gavin’s hand underneath my shirt running his fingers up and down my back. He moved up from my neck to my lips. His hand on my back pulled me closer to him. He left my lips to plant kisses along my jaw line. I ran my hand through his dark hair. That’s when I saw it.

  “What’s this?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Hold still. There’s something in your hair.”

  “What?” Gavin stopped what he was doing and tried to raise his head.

  “Don’t move! Hold on.”

  “Okay okay,” he said nervously. “Ow!” he said and sat up rubbing the side of his head. “Why’d you do that for?”

  I sat up and held up the silvery strand of hair. “It’s a grey hair.”

  Gavin backed away from me like I was holding a snake, got out of my bed and practically stumbled over to the round antique mirror hanging on my wall. In the mirror he examined his hair, brushing it through with his hands to one side and then the other. I smiled. “Babe,” I said as I walked over to him. I hugged him from behind. “Don’t freak out.” I squeezed my arms around his waist and pressed the side of my face against his back.

  “I didn’t wake up this morning, look in the mirror and think: You know what would look really hot? Some gray hair!”

  I laughed. “Gavin, it’s no big deal! You’re not going to go completely gray for, like, years! In fact, I kind of like it.”

  He turned around and looked down at me. “Really?”

  I nodded. I pulled the end of his t-shirt down to straighten it out. It was twisted to the side from lying on the bed. “If your hair turns out like your dad’s I’d hardly mind.”

  I felt Gavin’s body tense. “Please leave him out of daily conversation. I only want to hear about him if he’s, say, dead or dying.”

  I frowned. “Why won’t you tell me what happened in his office a couple weeks ago? I want to know what he said to you.”

  “No.”

  I looked up at him. “That’s it? No?”

  “I love you, Sydney. I don’t want to hurt you with the stupid things he said. He meant for those words to hurt me, not you.”

  If he only knew that not telling me was actually hurting me. I never forgot the fact that he had opened up to Elise about his issues with his father when he was with her. He hasn’t told me anything, not one detail, about how it was growing up with his father. I’ve told him everything there is to know about me. Why is he hiding it from me? Does he think I would use it against him the way Elise did? I hope not.

  “You have a lot of anger towards him and I’m worried if you get your wish and something happens to your dad you’ll never forgive yourself,” I voiced. Gavin frowned. “Hey, I’m not saying you have to be buddy-buddy with him. I’m just saying you have to let it go.”

  “I am letting it go. I don’t care what he thinks anymore. Okay, Ms. Psychiatrist?” I pouted at him. I was sure he was still hung up on whatever Mr. Caselle had said. “How are classes going?” he smiled.

  “Great, thanks to your suggestion.” I grinned.

  “I knew you’d like psychology. So, do you want to go somewhere for lunch today?”

  “Nah. I’m sure there’s some of your mom’s leftover Gnocchi still in the fridge,” I jok
ed. We both laughed.

  I love to hear him laugh. I relish in the thought that I am responsible for some of those alto laughs, laughs that vibrate through me when I’m drawn close to him. Sometimes he is like that statue of Apollo the god, basking in the light of his sun, overjoyed and his arms lifted towards the warmth of it. I want him to smile forever. I don’t ever want to disappoint him.

  Gavin smiled down at me for a moment. His green eyes were so stunning against his olive skin. He lowered his head and, unexpectedly, kissed me tenderly on the forehead.

  * * *

  “Hey Sara!” Sydney smiled as Sara ran over to her and hugged her leg. She bent down and picked her up. “Aww, you look so pretty, baby!” Sara was wearing a frilly yellow sundress and little yellow ribbons in her soft curly hair. “Are you going to give Auntie a kiss?” Sara turned her head away smiling. “Pwease?” Sydney pouted. Sara quickly kissed Sydney on the cheek. “Aww, thank you so much!” Sydney placed Sara down and she ran towards the living room. Sydney followed her and found Gavin sitting on the couch talking to Elizabeth.

  “Hey guys. Gavin, what are you doing over here?”

  “Well if you think we’re here planning your birthday present you’re wrong,” Elizabeth smiled innocently.

  “I’m just here hanging out with the family,” Gavin smiled unsurely.

  “Okaaay.” Gavin and Elizabeth received suspicious looks from Sydney. She sat down on the couch and the three of them spent the evening playing with Sara and baking chocolate chip cookies. By the time Evan came home, Sara had fallen fast asleep.

  “’Evening everyone,” Evan greeted us as he walked into the house. He kicked off his boots at the door, walked over to the living room and gave Liz a kiss, gave Sydney a smile and Gavin a nod, and then went into the bathroom to wash his hands. He worked at a packing company doing maintenance on the packaging machines so his hands were streaked with oil. He came back into the living room. “What were you guys up to while I was gone?”