The Consultant's Italian Knight

by Maggie Kingsley

  Maybe he should just forget about asking her what had been wrong this afternoon, he decided as he went into the kitchen. She seemed fine now, and their love-making had been absolutely incredible. In fact, she’d held onto him so tightly that he wouldn’t be at all surprised if he was covered with bruises tomorrow, but he didn’t care. Just so long as she was happy again, he didn’t care.

  ‘Do you want to be really decadent and have wine with your cake?’ he called as he retrieved a knife from the cutlery drawer.

  ‘Why not?’ she shouted back. ‘And don’t forget to light all my birthday candles.’

  He shook his head and laughed. She was the Kate he knew again, so he’d say nothing. She was always telling him he possessed a cop’s overly suspicious mind, and maybe on this occasion she was right.

  ‘You’d better make your wish fast before the house burns down,’ he observed as he carried the tray with the lighted birthday cake into the bedroom.

  ‘Oh, very funny,’ she replied. ‘Hold the tray closer to me.’

  He did as she asked, and she shut her eyes for a second, then blew out the candles filling the bedroom with the scent of burnt wax.

  ‘What did you wish for?’ he asked, as he put down the tray and reached for the knife.

  For a second he thought he saw her eyes darken, but just as his eyebrows snapped down she smiled up at him.

  ‘Can’t tell,’ she said. ‘If you tell it doesn’t come true.’

  ‘Big kid.’ He grinned.

  ‘And you’re not?’ she exclaimed, but as she opened her mouth to take a bite of her cake he put out his hand to stop her.

  ‘I just want to say happy birthday, Kate,’ he said softly, ‘and may you have many, many more of them.’

  ‘If they all come to an end with me in bed with a Neanderthal pervert, I’ll drink to that,’ she said, and bit into the cake and swallowed.

  Years later he would remember that moment. Years later his dreams would still be haunted by those few seconds when one minute Kate was smiling up at him, and the next the cake had fallen from her hands and she was clutching her throat.

  ‘What is it—what’s wrong?’ he cried, but he knew.

  It might have been years since he’d treated a case of anaphylactic shock, but he recognised the symptoms immediately and, without even waiting for her reply, he sprinted out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, sending her face creams and shampoo clattering into the sink as he grabbed her syringe from the bathroom cabinet.

  By the time he got back to the bedroom her lips were double their normal size, and she was making the most awful gasping, gulping sounds that he had ever heard a human being make.

  ‘Thigh,’ she gasped through a throat that was already closing. ‘Thigh…’

  He yanked the duvet off her and, with a hand that had suddenly become frighteningly all fingers and thumbs, he pulled the black needle cap from the syringe, snapped the safety cap from the firing button, then held the Anapen against her outer thigh, and prayed as he had never prayed before.

  Slowly—far too slowly for him—her breathing began to ease, and when she finally managed a small wobbly smile he caught her to him and held her tight, all too aware that he was shaking, but completely unable to stop himself.

  ‘Madre di Dio, Kate, I thought…I thought…’

  ‘I’m all right—I’m all right!’ she exclaimed breathlessly, but he could feel her heart thundering against his chest, and he shook his head.

  ‘You need to go to hospital. I’ll help you dress—’

  ‘No—no hospital,’ she replied with difficulty. ‘All they’ll do is collect urine from me every couple of hours and test it for methyl histamine. I can do that for myself at home.’

  ‘But, Kate—’

  ‘Mario, you know what people are like,’ she continued, talking over him. ‘They say they understand. They say that having an allergy isn’t a problem, but if I go into hospital—even for a night—Admin will note it down on my file, and I don’t want there to be any suggestion or implication that I’m not fit for my job.’

  ‘Dio, Kate, I don’t give a damn about your job!’ he exclaimed, his voice hoarse, constricted. ‘Do you have any idea of how much you scared me? I thought I’d lost you. I thought…’

  ‘Mario, I’m all right,’ she insisted, but he didn’t believe her, she could see he didn’t, and she caught hold of his hands and held them tight. ‘You thought I was going to die like Antonia, didn’t you?’

  ‘I thought…’ He bit his lip savagely. ‘I thought I’d failed you, just as I failed her.’

  ‘Failed me?’ she repeated in confusion. ‘Mario what…what actually happened to Antonia?’

  For a second she didn’t think he was going to answer, then he took a ragged breath.

  ‘She died of an overdose.’

  ‘You mean, she was on medication for something?’ she faltered. ‘That she made a mistake?’

  ‘No, I don’t mean that,’ he said bleakly. ‘Antonia and I…We met in the A and E department of the Royal Infirmary in Edinburgh on our first day at work as newly qualified doctors, and we just sort of clicked. She…She was so special, Kate. So full of life, so full of fun and joy.’

  And you still love her, Kate thought, feeling her heart ache at the tenderness she could see in his face.

  ‘Go on,’ she forced herself to say.

  ‘We became lovers, and I was so happy, so very happy. Both our careers were going well, and though she had to transfer to another hospital to become a specialist registrar, it didn’t matter. We were living together so we saw each other every day, and then…’ He bit his lip savagely. ‘I discovered she was taking amphetamines. She said her job was so stressful that she needed them.’

  ‘That’s why you said Colin should quit now,’ she declared with dawning comprehension. ‘You think he’s going to find A and E too hard, that he might start taking uppers to cope?’

  He nodded, his face dark.

  ‘She promised she wouldn’t take them any more, Kate, and I’d joined the police force by then, was working all the hours God sends trying to prove I was up to it, so I thought she was telling me the truth, but one day…’ He swallowed convulsively. ‘I’d finished my shift earlier than I’d expected, so I went home, carrying a big bottle of wine and some flowers to make up for all the times I’d been late, and I found her injecting cocaine in the bathroom.’

  ‘Oh, Mario!’ she exclaimed. ‘What did you do?’

  ‘Went through the roof,’ he said grimly. ‘Told her she was killing herself, and that if she didn’t care about that she should think about me, her family, her friends. I thought I’d got through to her, but when I came home the next day she’d gone. Taken all of her clothes and just gone. I went round to the hospital to talk to her, and discovered she’d been suspended the week before. Somebody had seen her injecting in one of the staff toilets, and she was due at a meeting for unprofessional conduct that day but she never showed up.’

  ‘What…what happened then?’ she asked softly, and he closed his eyes, his face all dark planes and shadows.

  ‘I called all her friends, her family—everybody I knew—but nobody could tell me where she was. I scoured the streets for weeks, looking for her, but it was one of the beat police who eventually found her, dead in a seedy hostel. She’d choked on her own vomit, and when they did the autopsy they…they discovered she’d been pregnant, pregnant with my son.’

  ‘Mario, I’m so sorry,’ she whispered. ‘So very, very sorry.’

  ‘I failed her, Kate,’ he said, his voice bleak. ‘When she needed me most, I failed her.’

  ‘But you didn’t fail her,’ she protested. ‘Sometimes…Sometimes people don’t want to be helped. Sometimes you can give and give, but if they don’t want that help, don’t take the hand you’re holding out to them, there’s nothing you can do.’

  ‘Maybe,’ he muttered, but when he got to his feet and reached for his clothes she eased herself up onto her pillows as quickly as he
r aching body would allow.

  ‘Where are you going?’ she exclaimed. ‘I told you I’m not going into hospital—’

  ‘I need to phone Ralph, get him round here.’

  ‘But why?’ she protested, and Mario swore under his breath as he pulled on his denims.

  ‘Kate, don’t you realise even yet what has just happened? The person who left that cake in your office knew what would happen if you ate it, but only your closest friends and staff know you’re allergic to almonds, so…’

  ‘Somebody I know has told the drug dealers about my allergy,’ she finished for him faintly.

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘George,’ she murmured without thinking, and saw Mario’s eyebrows snap down. ‘The new porter. He’s always staring at me. I know I should have told you this before, but I thought I was just overreacting, being stupid. His full name’s George Luciano but Terri and I call him the incredible hulk.’

  ‘I must remember to tell him that. He’s one of my men, Kate,’ Mario continued with a faint smile as she stared at him in confusion. ‘I knew I couldn’t stay close to you all the time at work so I arranged for Bill to get the windfall he needed to go to New Zealand courtesy of police funds and then put George in his place to keep an eye on you.’

  ‘Oh. Right.’ She smiled awkwardly. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘Don’t be,’ he said, ‘and keep those ideas coming.’ He buttoned his shirt, then paused. ‘Kate, I…’ He shook his head impatiently. ‘There’s no easy way to say this so I might just as well come right out and say it. I can’t stay with you any more.’

  ‘But I thought you said you had to, to keep me safe,’ she said before she could stop herself, and his face convulsed.

  ‘I can’t stay, Kate. Don’t you see that? If I stay I’ll get too involved with you—Madre di Dio, I already am—and if the thought of losing you terrifies me now, how much worse is it going to be if I allow myself to fall in love with you?’

  ‘Falling in love is always scary, Mario,’ she said, her eyes fixed on him, ‘but that doesn’t mean we should all become hermits.’

  ‘That’s easy for you to say,’ he flared. ‘You’ve never lost someone you loved more than life itself.’

  ‘No, but—’

  ‘I’ll let you down, Kate. I’ll fail you like I’ve failed every other woman in my life. I wouldn’t want to—wouldn’t intend to—but it would happen, and I can’t do that to you—I won’t.’

  ‘But, Mario—’

  ‘I’ll get George to move in here with you,’ he interrupted. ‘And, yes, I do know he looks intimidating,’ he added as she opened her mouth, clearly intending to protest, ‘but that’s exactly the kind of person I want watching out for you.’

  ‘Right,’ she said.

  ‘Kate…’ He thrust his fingers through his hair, his face taut. ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘It’s all right,’ she said with a brave attempt at a smile. ‘You said no promises, no commitment, and I agreed, didn’t I, and maybe…maybe it’s better this way.’

  His eyes met hers, bleak and dark and desolate. ‘I truly am sorry, Kate.’

  And as he walked out of her bedroom, and gently closed the door, she bit down hard on her lip to stop herself from calling him back and begging him to reconsider because he was right.

  It was better if it ended this way. She was a workaholic, and he was in love with a ghost, and a relationship like that could only ever end in disaster. So it was better if they finished it now, but it didn’t feel better as she sat alone in her empty bedroom feeling her heart break. Perhaps it would, eventually. One day. But it didn’t feel better right now.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  HE SHOULD never have made love to her, Mario decided as he watched Kate walk across the treatment room to talk to Terri. He should never have allowed himself to be talked into it, and once he had he sure as shooting shouldn’t have continued doing it. It had been a mistake—a big one—but thank heavens he’d come to his senses before he’d broken Kate’s heart.

  And he obviously hadn’t broken it. Not by a word, or even the slightest look, had she hinted since he’d moved out of her flat five days ago that she considered him a low life scumbag. Which was great. Really great, because only a rat with a super-sized ego would have wanted her to miss him.

  But he was a rat, he realised, as he felt a wave of something he couldn’t quite identify clog his throat when he saw her face light up at whatever Terri had said, because he thought she might have missed him. Just a little bit.

  Dio, but he missed her, and it wasn’t just the sex, wonderful though that had been. He missed so many stupid, unimportant things. Like their arguments over whether they should have a home-cooked dinner or a takeaway after work. Like seeing her small feet resting beside his size elevens on the coffee table when they watched TV. Like never being able to find his razor amongst all her creams and lotions, or laughing at something she’d said or done, and it was crazy. Crazy.

  ‘Miss Thornton—the elderly lady with localised epigastric pain, no bowel sounds and high fever?’ Kate declared as she walked towards him. ‘She definitely has a perforated peptic ulcer. She’s just back from X-ray, and the plates have confirmed it.’

  ‘Do you want me to page OR, let them know she’s on her way?’ he asked, and Kate nodded.

  ‘Please,’ she said, then her eyes sparkled. ‘The big question, of course, is who’s going to tell her? Terri and I were just debating whether I should do it as I was the one who examined her, or whether I should let Paul have the pleasure.’

  ‘Well…’ Mario frowned as though giving her question serious consideration. ‘On balance, having weighed up the pros and cons, I’d say, land Paul with the hot potato.’

  ‘She is a bit of a battleaxe, isn’t she?’ Kate chuckled.

  ‘I can’t decide whether my favourite moment was when she asked you whether you were fully qualified,’ Mario observed, ‘or if it’s when she said she wished you’d stop asking such damn fool questions, and let the experts in X-ray decide what was wrong with her.’

  ‘Yup, it’s a close call between the two.’ Kate laughed. ‘But I don’t think even Paul deserves Miss Thornton so do you want to join me when I break the news to her, or would you rather head for the hills?’

  I’d rather hold you, he thought, and though he tried to stamp on the thought it wouldn’t go away. Just as no amount of reminding himself over the past five days that he would only hurt her, make her unhappy, had stopped him thinking about her. Constantly.

  ‘Mario?’

  Kate was staring at him hesitantly, and he dredged up a smile.

  ‘Let’s beard the lioness in her den,’ he said.

  ‘So, I’m definitely going to need an operation?’ Miss Thornton declared when Kate broke the news.

  ‘Operations for perforated peptic ulcers aren’t nearly as serious as they used to be,’ Kate replied, watching the elderly lady closely. ‘And you look to be in good physical shape.’

  ‘For my age, you mean,’ Miss Thornton said dryly. ‘Well, let’s get on with it.’

  ‘Did anybody come in with you? I’m not being nosy,’ Kate added as the elderly lady frowned, ‘but if you have a friend or a relative waiting outside we’d better let them know what’s happening.’

  ‘Not married, no immediate family,’ Miss Thornton declared. ‘Phoned for a taxi myself when my stomach started to hurt.’

  Kate turned to beckon to George, then paused. She was sure she’d seen a flicker of fear in the old lady’s eyes when she’d told her she would have to have an operation. It had only been there for a second, but she was certain it had been there, and quickly she turned back to the trolley.

  ‘You’ll be fine—I promise,’ she said softly, reaching out to clasp Miss Thornton’s hand in hers. ‘And after your operation, when they take you up to Women’s Surgical, I want you to give them hell for me, OK?’

  A small smile curved the elderly lady’s lips. ‘You think they need it?’

  ‘I know
they do,’ Kate whispered, and the smile on Miss Thornton’s lips widened.

  ‘Then it will be my mission to do the best I can, and if you should ever find yourself near Women’s Surgical while I’m there, and have nothing better to do…’

  ‘You think I’m not going to visit you?’ Kate protested. ‘Wild horses wouldn’t keep me away.’

  ‘See that they don’t,’ Miss Thornton declared, then frowned irritably. ‘Well, am I going to have this operation or not?’

  And Kate chuckled as the old lady was wheeled out of A and E, but as she turned to walk over to the whiteboard she suddenly realised Mario was watching her.

  ‘That was a kind thing to do,’ he said, and Kate shrugged.

  ‘I’ll be old one day myself, and no doubt in exactly Miss Thornton’s position with no family to bolster my courage, so it’s no big deal for me to visit her. Plus I liked her.’

  ‘I liked her, too.’

  I like you, he thought. It was odd but he’d never once asked himself whether he liked Antonia. He’d known he’d loved her, but he’d never once asked himself whether he’d actually liked her, and why he should suddenly find himself wondering about that was beyond him.

  ‘I…I’d better clean out the cubicle,’ he said, backing up a step as Terri joined them.

  ‘Don’t rush away on my account,’ the sister replied, but he’d already gone and Terri squared her jaw.

  ‘Look, I know this is absolutely none of my business,’ she declared, ‘but what’s going on?’

  ‘I was going to ask you the same thing,’ Kate said lightly. ‘Has Neil revealed yet how he’s earning all his money?’

  ‘All he’ll tell us is that he’s earning it legally and don’t try to change the subject.’

  ‘I’m not trying to change any subject,’ Kate protested, and Terri let out a huff of impatience.

  ‘Yeah, right. So are you going to tell me why you and Mario used to be the best of friends, and now there’s this really weird atmosphere between you?’