The Consultant's Italian Knight

by Maggie Kingsley

  ‘Your bosses must be pleased,’ she observed, and Mario smiled.

  ‘I’ve actually been given a commendation, but more importantly it means you won’t need to testify because your evidence isn’t anywhere near as damning as Bolton’s.’

  ‘That’s good.’ She nodded ‘Well, it was kind of you to drop by and give me the news,’ she continued, ‘but, as you can see, I’m pretty busy—’

  ‘How’s Colin?’

  ‘He’s taken your advice, decided to become a GP.’

  ‘He’ll be good at it. And Paul?’ he continued. ‘How’s Paul?’

  ‘Better,’ she replied. ‘A lot better. He and I are never going to take part in group hugs, or anything, because that’s not him, but since the birth of his niece, well, he’s definitely getting better.’

  ‘Good.’

  Oh, lord, but this was awful—toe-curling—Kate thought. She and Mario had lived together, for God’s sake, even if it had only been for a week. They’d been as close as two people ever could be, and now they were talking to one another like two colleagues who hadn’t seen one another for ages. Two awkward, uncomfortable colleagues who had never had anything in common.

  ‘I’d better get back to work,’ she said, holding out her hand, but he didn’t take it.

  ‘Have Terri and Frank got over the fact that Neil’s a male stripper?’ he said instead, and Kate couldn’t prevent a smile from curving her lips.

  ‘I think Frank’s still having problems with it, but Terri’s OK, particularly as Neil said he only went into it because the money was so good and once he’s saved up enough he’s going to college to train to become an electrician.’

  ‘That’s a bit of a quantum leap, isn’t it?’ Mario observed, and Kate’s smile widened.

  ‘Apparently he and his fellow strippers often encounter problems with the lighting when they’re doing their acts, and he’s discovered he’s got a real talent for fixing electrical faults.’

  ‘Good. Great.’

  ‘Well, like I said,’ she began. ‘It was kind of you to stop by—’

  ‘I hear you’ve put your flat up for sale?’ he interrupted, and she gazed at him in surprise.

  ‘How did…? Oh, of course,’ she said with a small smile. ‘The long arm of the law.’

  ‘No, not really,’ he murmured. ‘I’ve just been keeping an eye on you. For your own safety, of course,’ he added quickly. ‘In case I was wrong about the drug dealers not being interested in you any more. Why have you decided to move?’

  Because my flat is full of memories of you. Because every room I go into is full of memories of you, and I can’t bear it.

  ‘I just decided that as I’ve never really been happy there it’s crazy for me to stay,’ she replied. ‘And now I really do have to go, so if you’ll excuse me…’

  And before he could say anything else, she’d walked away from him, and Terri hurried after her.

  ‘Are you crazy?’ the sister hissed in exasperation. ‘What on earth were you doing, rabbiting on about people in the department? Why didn’t you say, “I miss you, Mario, I want you back”?’

  ‘Because I don’t,’ Kate replied firmly.

  ‘But, Kate—’ Terri bit off what she had been about to say as they both heard the sound of running feet, then turned and smiled. ‘Did you forget something, Mario?

  ‘Actually, I was wondering whether Kate might have time for a coffee?’ he replied. ‘There’s a café just down the road that serves pretty good cappuccino.’

  He looked awkward, and flustered, and as uncomfortable as hell, but Kate steeled her resolve.

  ‘I’m sorry, but I’m afraid—’

  ‘Of course she has time,’ Terri interrupted.

  Kate shot the sister a look that spoke volumes.

  ‘No, I don’t,’ she said. ‘In fact—’

  ‘Yes, you do have time,’ Paul declared suddenly appearing beside them. ‘I can handle anything that comes in, Kate, and if I can’t I’ll page you.’

  Dammit, but now they’d both ganged up on her, Kate thought with irritation, but short of being downright rude there was nothing she could do.

  ‘It will have to be a very quick coffee, then,’ she declared firmly, but, as she turned to accompany Mario, Terri caught hold of her by the arm.

  ‘Just listen to him, OK?’ the sister whispered. ‘Give him a chance, Kate, and listen to him.’

  But I don’t want to, Kate thought as she walked with Mario out of the unit. I don’t want to listen to him, I don’t want to be in his company. I thought I was over him, that I was moving forward, but I’m not because it still hurts. It hurts so much.

  ‘Actually, I don’t really want a coffee, if that’s OK with you?’ she said as she and Mario stood outside the hospital. ‘There’s a park at the end of the road. Maybe we could just walk there for a bit instead?’

  He nodded, but by the time they’d reached the park Kate wished she’d thought to grab her coat. The hot days they’d had in August had been succeeded by a beautiful autumn, but now the trees were bare, the leaves were lying in sodden clumps underneath them, and a chill October wind was blowing that suggested winter was not far away.

  ‘You’re cold,’ Mario said, seeing her clutch her suit jacket tighter to her.

  ‘Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,’ she replied. ‘In fact…maybe none of this is a very good idea.’

  ‘Kate…’

  ‘Mario, what do you want from me?’ she demanded, and he shook his head.

  ‘Not here. Look, there’s a gazebo over there,’ he continued, pointing ahead of them. ‘Let’s go inside and we can talk.’

  She didn’t want to go into the gazebo and she definitely didn’t want to talk. She wanted to be back in the A and E unit, working, and trying to forget him all over again.

  ‘OK,’ she said, ‘but I—’

  ‘Can’t stay long,’ he finished for her. ‘I know. You said.’

  The gazebo was old and rusty, with a distinct odour of damp coats, and even damper leaves, but at least it was warmer than outside, and she sat down and stared out at the little pond outside where some ducks were swimming round and round in circles.

  Know how you feel, she thought.

  ‘I’ve missed you, Kate.’

  She looked up to find Mario’s eyes on her, as deep and as blue as the eyes that had been plaguing her dreams, and forced herself to smile.

  ‘We had some good times, didn’t we?’ she said lightly. ‘In fact, I still laugh when I remember all those male patients who thought you were gay.’

  He sat down beside her, stretching his long legs out in front of him, and stared at the pond, too.

  ‘That isn’t what I remember, Kate,’ he murmured. ‘What I remember is you.’

  ‘Mario—’

  ‘No, let me finish,’ he insisted. ‘For the past eight years I’ve never allowed myself to get close to anyone because…because I was afraid that if I did I would fail them, like I failed Antonia and Sue, but this month apart…’ He glanced across at her, his face tight. ‘I’ve come to realise that I’m more afraid of never seeing you again, of never being with you again.’

  ‘We can still see one another once in a while, if that’s what you want,’ she said. Though God knows how I’ll remain sane if we do. ‘We can still be friends.’

  ‘The trouble is, I don’t simply want to be friends with you, Kate,’ he said, and she stirred uneasily in her seat.

  ‘Mario, if you’re trying to suggest that we should live together again…I’m sorry, but I can’t. You’re still in love with Antonia—’

  ‘I’m not,’ he interrupted, his eyes strained, ‘I know that now. In fact, I think, if she had lived, our love would eventually have burned itself out because it was always too intense, too frantic, but when she died…I felt so guilty, and because I did I created an Antonia without faults, an Antonia who didn’t ever exist except in my own imagination.’

  ‘You weren’t to blame, Mario.’

  �
��I know that, too, now. We all have to make our own choices in life, and I realise now that there was nothing I could have said or done that would have altered the choice she made.’

  ‘No,’ she murmured.

  ‘Kate…’ Tentatively he took one of her hands in his. ‘I know I’m domineering and driven. I know I won’t be the easiest man in the world to live with, but…’ He swore under his breath. ‘Kate, what I’m trying to say—very badly—is I know I’ve been a complete idiot where you’re concerned, and…will you give me another chance?’

  She stared up into the face she knew so well, the face she knew she would always love, but would loving him be enough? She wanted to believe it would be, but her doubts spoke louder.

  ‘Mario, if you’re driven then I’m ten times worse, and if we lived together again you’d eventually start complaining about the hours I work—’

  ‘I wouldn’t,’ he interrupted. ‘I couldn’t, not with my own track record.’

  ‘Which is exactly why it can’t ever work,’ she declared. ‘After a while we’d become like ships passing in the night, and it would be me and John all over again.’

  ‘No, it wouldn’t. Listen to me, Kate,’ he said, tightening his grip on her hand. ‘We’re not the only dedicated people in the world. There are other people just the same, and when they find someone they want to be with, they manage to make it work.’

  ‘How?’ she demanded.

  ‘By compromising!’ he exclaimed. ‘It works for other people who have jobs like ours so why can’t it work for us? If we both accept that our places of work won’t sink without trace if we’re not there twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, then it will work.’

  ‘And you honestly think we’d be able to do that?’ she said with a half smile.

  ‘I want to try.’

  ‘Yes, but…’

  He released her hands and trapped her face between his palms.

  ‘Ti amore, Kate. Sei tutto il mio amore.’

  ‘That…that sounded pretty intense,’ she said shakily, and a smile tugged at his lips.

  ‘It means I love you, Kate Elizabeth Kennedy. You are my life, my heart, my soul. I think you have been ever since you waved that syringe at me and told me if I didn’t back off I’d be HIV positive, too.’

  Her heart turned over, and she reached up to touch his face.

  ‘You know, I really must learn Italian,’ she said, and he shook his head.

  ‘And that is not an answer.’

  ‘I…’ She took a deep breath. ‘I love you, too, but—’ She held up her hands quickly to hold him back as he reached for her. ‘Mario, I don’t know if just loving you will be enough. I don’t want to hurt you, to make you unhappy.’

  ‘Kate, I’m not John. I don’t want you to change. I want you to stay exactly the way you are. Infuriating, and adorable, bloody-minded, and, oh, so loveable, and as for the future…’ A smile curved his lips. ‘This is new for me, too, and I think all we can do is help each other through the rough times, hold one another when things get tough—’

  ‘And never let the sun go down on our anger,’ she finished for him, and he nodded.

  ‘I want to try, Kate,’ he said, ‘but the big question is do you?’ Out of the corner of her eye she could see the ducks were still swimming round in circles apart from two who had got out of the water and were now waddling away, probably realising that nobody was likely to come and feed them on a cold late October afternoon.

  ‘I suppose we could try living together again,’ she murmured, ‘see if—’

  ‘No,’ he interrupted. ‘I mean, if that’s what you want then I’ll do it,’ he added hurriedly as her eyebrows rose, ‘but it’s not what I want. I want to marry you. I’m so sure this time that I want my ring on your finger telling all the other men in the world to back off, you’re mine.’

  ‘Very Italian macho man.’ She laughed, and he grinned.

  ‘You’d better believe it.’

  His eyes were fixed on her, and she could see the love in them, the hope, and the uncertainty, just as she also knew that in this man she had found the man who completed her as no other man had ever done, the man she was born to be with. She didn’t know what the future would bring, but when she pictured a life without him…

  ‘And we live in the granite house, with the latticed windows, and the country cottage garden, and I learn to garden?’ she said with a small smile.

  ‘I’d like that very much, but it would be your decision, your choice,’ he said, reaching up to smooth her hair back from her face.

  ‘You know,’ she said, ‘I think that house might just have sold your proposal to me.’

  He blinked, and then his face lit up with a blinding smile. ‘Are you saying yes—that you’ll marry me?’

  ‘Yes, I’m saying yes.’ She laughed, and his lips met hers taking her breath away.

  ‘There’s no way you can take that back now, you know,’ he said when he released her. ‘I’m a cop, and whatever you say to a cop can be used in evidence against you.’

  ‘I don’t want to take it back,’ she said huskily. ‘I meant what I said, and no way am I ever going to take it back. I love you, Mario Volante, and I’ll marry you, which means you’re stuck with me. For always.’

  ‘And for always, amor mio, I will love you,’ he said huskily as he drew her into his arms, and kissed her again.

  ISBN: 978-1-4603-5918-1

  THE CONSULTANT’S ITALIAN KNIGHT

  First North American Publication 2007

  Copyright © 2007 by Maggie Kingsley

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  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

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