The Berenstain Bear Scouts and the Run-Amuck Robot

by Stan

  “He stopped when you ordered him to,” said Lizzy.

  “Exactly,” said the professor. “And that’s the key. Adding Gus’s voice to the program was a mistake. It confused Robow. I’ve got to remove Gus’s voice from the program and sharpen my own voiceprint so that Robow answers to me and me alone. There will be a lot of stress tomorrow. Robow will hear a lot of voices. We’ve got to make sure he doesn’t get confused and overheat.”

  “Professor,” said Brother, “how would you like a little insurance so that you can be sure Robow will answer to you and you alone?”

  “What do you have in mind?” asked the professor.

  “Do you remember a game called Si­mon Says?” said Brother.

  “I remember the game,” said Actual Factual. “But I don’t understand what it has to do with tomorrow.”

  Brother explained.

  That evening the professor did two things. He sharpened his voiceprint and reprogrammed Robow to respond only to instructions that began with the words “Simon says.”

  • Chapter 13 •

  “DUM-de-dum-dum!”

  “Professor, you call your latest invention a robot-of-all-work. Do you mean to suggest that Robow can do any job a bear can do?”

  “That’s exactly what I meant to sug­gest,” said Actual Factual.

  The press conference had drawn a much bigger crowd than expected. Re­porters had come from all over Bear Country. There was even a satellite truck from Big Bear City covering the press conference live. It was being held on the Bearsonian’s front steps as planned. Actual Factual was on the top step with a microphone. Junior docents Brother and Sister had attached microphones to two of the professor’s fishing poles. They were running from reporter to reporter as the questions came fast and thick.

  “Professor, do you seriously mean all work?”

  “I do indeed,” said the professor.

  “No matter how difficult or complex?”

  “That’s right,” said the professor. “No matter how difficult or complex.”

  That really got the reporters going. Brother and Sister had a hard time keep­ing up with the questions.

  “Could Robow build a house, profes­sor?”

  “Pilot a jet?”

  “Fly a rocket to the moon?”

  “Perform brain surgery?”

  “Yes, yes, yes, and yes,” said the profes­sor.

  “Could Robow be a reporter?”

  “In his sleep,” said the professor. That got a nervous titter from the audience of reporters.

  “I have a rather more serious question, professor.”

  “I’ll be happy to answer it,” said Actual Factual.

  “Sir, your release says—and I quote—‘It is the Professor Actual Factual’s belief that Robow will change the nature of work in our time.’ Now here’s my question: If we’re going to have all these Robows doing all the work, what are we going to be doing? Twiddling our thumbs, contemplating our navels?”

  “Those who wish to twiddle will twiddle. Those who wish to contemplate will contemplate,” said the professor. “But others will be free to seek the higher meaning of life, to listen to the music of the spheres, to promote the brotherhood of bears. But you must excuse me. I see that my guests are arriving.”

  Automobiles plain and fancy were pulling into the museum’s parking lot. There were a number of limousines in the mix, including Squire Grizzly’s. Lady Grizzly was already inside. She and junior docents Fred and Lizzy were setting up the punch table. Robow was inside, too, in a quiet room.

  Some guests were arriving on foot.

  “Uh-oh,” said Brother. “I think I see a party crasher.”

  It was Ralph Ripoff, grinning and twirling his cane to beat the band.

  Sister had a copy of the guest list. “No,” she said. “Lady Grizzly put him on the list.”

  “Dum-de-dum-dum!” said Brother.

  • Chapter 14 •

  Let’s Party!

  The plan that Actual Factual had worked out with Lady Grizzly and junior docents Brother, Sister, Fred, and Lizzy was for Robow to greet the guests as they arrived and then mix among them. All with Actual Factual standing close by, of course.

  The greeting part was working beautifully. The professor had programmed Robow with random greetings, so he said different words to each guest. He’d say, “How do you do?” to one guest, “Pleased to meet you” to another, and “Delighted to make your acquaintance” to still another. The guests were very impressed. It made Robow seem almost like a real person.

  “Hey, that Robow is quite a fellow,” said Farmer Ben. “I wonder if he can slop hogs.”

  “I think he can,” said junior docent Sister. “Would you and Mrs. Ben like some punch?”

  “Thankee. Don’t mind if we do,” said Ben.

  “You know, Sis,” said Brother, “That’s the first time I ever saw Farmer Ben wearing a jacket.”

  “And probably the last,” said Sister.

  Squire Grizzly wasn’t as impressed with Robow’s friendly greeting—“How-do-you-do-sir-it’s-a-pleasure-to-meet-you”—as he was by the idea of using Robows as factory workers.

  “That Robow could do the work of five of my regular workers,” said Squire Grizzly.

  “Hey, look!” said Sister. “Robow’s dancing with Lady Grizzly!”

  “What’s that crazy dance they’re doing?” said Brother. “Uh-oh, Robow’s eyes are starting to flash red!”

  “It’s called the jitterbug,” said Gramps. “It’s a dance we used to do when we were young.”

  “Oh, my goodness!” cried Gran. “He’s going to throw her over his back! Somebody do something!”

  “Stop, Robow! Stop!” cried the professor. Luckily, junior docent Fred was there to remind the professor to say, “Simon says stop!”

  “Thank-you-for-the-dance-ma’am,” said Robow.

  “Oh, you’re welcome, Robow,” said Lady Grizzly, trying to put herself back to­gether.

  “Hey, Robow!” someone shouted. “Let’s see you do a little tango!” Someone else shouted, “How about a little cha-cha-cha!”

  Robow knew all those dances. So it was a good thing the professor had sharpened his voiceprint. Brother’s “Simon says” idea was working, too. Except that, as anybody who has ever played Simon Says knows, sometimes you forget to say “Simon says.”

  “That Robow’s a heckuva dancer,” said Papa Bear. “But why are his eyes flashing red like that?”

  “He’s just overheating a little,” said Brother. “Professor, don’t you think you should start giving Robow some easier jobs?”

  “Good thinking, Brother,” said the professor. He saw that Mayor and Mrs. Hon­eypot had just arrived and were right beside the checkroom. He turned to the robot and said, “Robow, go greet—er, Simon says go greet Mayor and Mrs. Honeypot and then check their coats.”

  The professor relaxed when he saw that Robow’s eyes had stopped flashing. But the next thing he knew was that Mayor Honeypot, who sometimes got the fronts and backs of his words mixed up, was shouting at him.

  “Soo dumthing—er, do something!” cried the mayor. “That rool fobot—er, fool robot, is destroying our coats!”

  “Stop that! Stop that!” cried the professor. By the time he remembered to say, “Simon says stop that!” Robow had taken a black crayon and made check marks all over Mayor and Mrs. Honeypot’s coats.

  “Too bad about the mayor and his Mrs.,” said Chief of Police Bruno as the Honeypots stormed out of the museum. “But that Robow character would make a heckuva security guard.”

  “Speaking of security, professor,” said Brother, “I just saw Ralph Ripoff sneak into the Hall of Gems!”

  Actual Factual knew what that meant. He neither hesitated nor forgot to say “Simon says.”

  “Simon says seize Ralph Ripoff! Green suit!” cried the professor.

  Robow stalked into the darkened Hall of Gems. The sounds of a struggle! Screams and cries for help! The professor and the Be
ar Scouts rushed in and turned on the light.

  The gems were safe in their cases. Ralph, however, was not. He was down to his underwear and in the steely grip of Robow, who had torn off most of Ralph’s clothes.

  “Simon says stop!” cried the professor.

  Robow stopped. But his eyes were flashing dangerously. Ralph, of course, was in a sputtering rage.

  • Chapter 15 •

  Overexposed

  “You’re under arrest, Ralph,” said Chief Bruno. “Come with me.”

  “Under arrest?” cried Ralph. “What’s the charge?”

  “Indecent exposure,” said the chief.

  “I’m grateful that Robow saved the gem collection,” said the professor. “But I don’t understand why he tore off Ralph’s clothes.”

  “I think I do,” said Fred. “You told Robow, ‘Seize Ralph Ripoff! Green suit!’ Robow thought you said, ‘Seize Ralph! Rip off green suit!’“

  “Well, at least the gems are safe,” said the professor.

  “Yes,” said Gus, who had joined the group. “But Robow is not. He’s overheat­ing badly.”

  “What do you suggest?” said the professor.

  “The party’s breaking up, anyway,” said Gus. “Let’s just leave him in here to cool down.”

  “Agreed,” said the professor.

  Robow’s eyes were still flashing red when they turned out the light in the Hall of Gems and closed the door behind them. That was the last time anyone saw Robow while he was still in one piece.

  • Chapter 16 •

  An Idea Whose Time Has Come?

  They heard it while they were saying their good-byes to Squire and Lady Grizzly. It sounded like a string of firecrackers. But the sound was covered by the buzz of the party breaking up.

  “Professor, I want to thank you for a most excellent afternoon,” said Squire Grizzly. “Glad to see the museum in such tip-top shape. Interesting chap, that Robow. I can see a whole line of ’em hard at work making more Robows. They’d make fine workers. No coffee breaks. Work twenty-four hours a day. I tell you, pro­fessor, it’s an idea whose time has come!”

  “Thank you, Squire,” said Actual Factual. “It was good of you to come—and many heartfelt thanks to you, Lady Grizzly.”

  The Grizzlys were the last to leave. Actual Factual, the Bear Scouts, and Gus rushed into the Hall of Gems and turned on the light.

  There lay Robow, a smoking pile of nuts, bolts, wires, computer chips, and sink parts.

  “Gee, we’re sorry,” said Brother, looking at the sad sight. The rest of the troop mumbled its regrets.

  “There’s no need to be sorry,” said the professor. “The only regret I have about Robow One is that I didn’t do a better job on the overheating problem. That can be easily corrected.”

  “You said ‘Robow One,’” said Sister. “Does that mean there’s going to be a Robow Two?”

  Actual Factual smiled. “Do you think there should be?” he asked.

  “Gee, we don’t know,” said Brother. “You’re the inventor.”

  “That’s right,” said the professor with a small smile. He turned to Gus. “Would you take care of what’s left of Robow? You know what to do. Come on, scouts. Let’s get some air. We can look at the sunset.”

  The Bear Scouts and the professor sat on the front steps of the Bearsonian and looked out over Bear Country. They could see Farmer Ben’s farm and, beyond that, the Bear family’s tree house. Off to the left was busy Beartown, with its stores, schools, and factories.

  “You know something, professor?”

  “I will if you tell me,” said Actual Factual.

  “Well, I’ve been thinking,” said Brother. “You know, about work and all. Take Farmer Ben, for instance. He likes to slop hogs and feed the chickens and ride on that big old tractor of his.”

  “Yes,” said the professor. “I suppose he does.”

  “The same with my dad,” said Sister. “He likes working with wood. Sawing and hammering and all. And Dr. Gert, too. She likes being a doctor and taking care of folks.”

  “The same with Chief Bruno,” said Fred. “He likes catching crooks.”

  “And don’t forget Ralph Ripoff,” said Lizzy. “He likes swindling and cheating.”

  “And how about you, professor?” said Sister. “You like science and inventing and stuff.”

  “I’ve been thinking, too,” said Actual Factual. “And the answer to your question is that there’s not going to be a Robow Two. Come on. Let’s go pay our respects to Robow One.”

  The scouts hadn’t noticed, but Gus was out in the field in front of the museum. He was digging a hole. He had a sign and a plastic bag filled with nuts and bolts.

  “It’s double-thick plastic to prevent pollution,” explained the professor.

  Gus lowered the plastic bag into the hole and covered it with earth. The little group looked at the sunset, then turned and went back to the Bearsonian. All that was left of Robow was a mound of earth and a sign that said:

  HERE LIES ROBOW.

  AN IDEA WHOSE TIME HADN’T QUITE COME.

  About the Authors

  Stan and Jan Berenstain began writing the Berenstain Bears series in 1962, with The Big Honey Hunt. Since then, more than 250 Berenstain Bears books have been published and sales of the series are nearing 300 million. Stan and Jan have left behind a legacy of arguably the best-selling children’s book series ever. Making the books has long been a family affair, with son Mike Berenstain writing and illustrating new stories about everyone’s favorite bear family. You can visit the Berenstains online at www.berenstainbears.com.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins authors and artists.

  Chapter 1

  Job Hunt

  Brother Bear’s great idea didn’t just come out of nowhere. It came out of something Lizzy Bruin said as the cubs walked home from school one day in early fall.

  As the cubs walked, they complained about their money problems. Every year, in late September, the cubs started saving money from their allowances to buy costumes for Halloween. And the moment Halloween was over, they had to start saving all over again for Christmas. Christmas gifts for family members could be quite expensive. That meant no movies at the mall multiplex, no shakes at the Burger Bear, and no video games at the arcade from Halloween to Christmas.

  “Here we go again,” groused Queenie McBear. “First we get squeezed by Halloween, and then we get totally crushed by Christmas.”

  “Bummer,” said Barry Bruin.

  “Yeah,” agreed his sister Lizzy. “But what can we do? Our allowances are the only money we have.”

  That’s what gave Brother his idea. “I know what we can do,” he said. “Instead of complaining, like we do every year, we can get jobs. That way we’ll have our allowances and our wages.”

  “That’s a great idea!” said Babs Bruno. “But who would hire us? We’re just a bunch of cubs.”

  Brother was quick to point out that several of them had parents or other relatives who owned businesses. Papa Q. Bear, for example, had a successful carpentry business. Lizzy and Barry’s father owned Biff Bruin’s Pharmacy. And then there was Squire Grizzly, Bonnie Brown’s uncle. The squire owned Great Grizzly National Bank, the Burger Bear chain, and a half-dozen other Beartown businesses. Bonnie was away, traveling with a musical show, so she couldn’t ask her uncle for help. But Squire Grizzly had long been Papa Bear’s best customer. Brother could ask Papa to telephone the squire about their job hunt.

  Most of the cubs thought it would be cool to work at the Burger Bear, their favorite after-school hangout. But Ferdy Factual had his heart set on being a research assistant for his uncle Actual Factual at the Bearsonian Institution.

  After dinner, the cubs gathered at the Burger Bear, where they had agreed to meet to celebrate their new jobs. Brother and Sister were late, but the others didn’t have to worry about waiting for them to start the celebration. That’s because there were no jo
bs to celebrate.

  “What a letdown,” Barry was saying. “My dad says business isn’t so good right now. He can’t afford to hire anyone. Not even cubs.”

  “I’m afraid the Bearsonian won’t be of any assistance, either,” said Ferdy. “Uncle Actual says it runs on donations from Bear Country businesses. Lately a lot of businesses have been doing poorly, so donations are down. He will take us on as volunteers, however.”

  “Oh, great!” said Queenie. “That’ll be a big help!”

  Ferdy shrugged. “It would keep us out of trouble, at least,” he said. “Away from the mall and the arcade and this place.”

  “You just like all that science stuff!” snapped Queenie. “You don’t even really want a job!”

  “Chill out, Queenie,” said Cousin Fred. “Here come Brother and Sister. And they’re both smiling.”

  Indeed they were. With big grins on their faces, Brother and Sister slid into the booth and ordered shakes.

  “So, tell us the good news!” said Babs. “What did your dad say?”

  “He’s been working alone for so many years,” said Brother, “that he wouldn’t have the slightest idea how to use any assistants.”

  “Then he must have asked Squire Grizzly to hire us,” said Trudy. “So, where are we working? Here or the bank?”

  Still grinning, Brother and Sister shook their heads.

  “Neither?” Queenie said. “Then why in the world are you two sitting there with those silly grins on your faces?”

  “Just as Papa was about to pick up the phone to call Squire Grizzly,” Brother explained, “Farmer Ben called about an oak table Papa’s repairing for him. They got to talking, and Ben told Papa that the farm has run into hard times. He had to fire his fulltime farm hand. And now a lot of chores aren’t getting done. So Papa asked him if he would hire us to do them. And he said yes!”

  “Super!” cried Babs.