Staying The Course (The Men of Endurance Book 3)

by Siera London

  He narrowed his eyes, and then sighed. “I know.”

  “Maybe, you should let her go.”

  “To do what?” He pushed away from his desk, standing to his feet. “Cai lights up knowing she’ll be here when he gets home.”

  “And you?” Autumn questioned. “How do you feel when you open the door or enter a room to see her standing there?”

  Like a fat guy with a dozen hot Krispy Kreme donuts hiding under the back porch.

  “I’m good with it,” he said coolly.

  “What do know about the trouble she’s running from? Not that I like repeating gossip, but...she walked into town,” she said arms wide, eyes wider with incredulity.

  “I never said she was in trouble,” he said, defending Ivy.

  “Cai said she only has a backpack with some unmunchables she won’t share with him.” She shrugged.

  Dang it. His four-year-old needed a muzzle.

  “I won’t hold her past against her.”

  After deploying to a combat zone, Owen understood the need to put some miles between the past and the here and now.

  “Her past could negatively impact your future, Owen. Think about that.”

  “I have. I am. Shoot, Autumn.” He thought of little else. His brain worked overtime trying to figure out how he and Ivy could fit together long-term. For now, they were together, but he and Cai wanted their angel’s love forever.

  “Don’t mind me, just a concerned friend.”

  She got up to leave. Inwardly, he was delighted to see Autumn and her sound wisdom leaving. But then he stopped her.

  “I appreciate your concern, Autumn. It’s just I need you to keep your eyes peeled to anything suspicious.”

  “Besides Ivy Summers slinging her tiny skirt in Rui’s face,” she hissed and then eyed him like fool don’t be stupid.

  Rui definitely needed to make a move on Autumn. Anyone with a blind eye could see the professor stopped by No Limit strictly to catch a glimpse of her. Looking at the heat in Autumn’s eyes, he now understood the reserved Professor Conner had a good reason to continue his twice weekly visits.

  “When I come in Ivy’s working the crowd. Have you asked Delaney?”

  At the mention of Delaney, he grimaced. “She’s been MIA all week. A few of the regulars mentioned seeing her pop in, but I think she’s avoiding me.”

  “So, are you going to fire her?,” Autumn said, dusting her palms together. “Good.”

  “Not exactly.” Delaney was a sweet young woman, quiet and impressionable. Autumn and Delaney mixed about as well as oil and water. While Autumn went out of her way to pitch in, Delaney barely pulled her own weight. Maybe, Ivy would forge a friendship. Delaney needed more good influences in her life. Owen noticed she gravitated towards the seedier guys that sometimes visited No Limit.

  “Owen,” Autumn chastised. “That woman is the worst waitress and an even worse cook.”

  “I know, but besides her Grammy, she doesn’t have anyone.”

  “That’s her fault,” Autumn grumbled. “Always taking advantage of peoples’ kindness.” Owen dismissed that last part. “I’m serious, Owen. At least Ivy earns her keep. She waits tables, cooks, and cares for Cai. But, that Delaney,” she huffed, “is a con woman.”

  Owen cut her off. He had to get to the bottom of the missing money, pick up a few birthday decorations from Trina’s, and then get back to Ivy.

  “Thanks for stopping by, I’ll catch up with you later today,” he said absently. There was something he’d left on his to-do list.

  He decided against mentioning the missing money to Ivy again. The last thing he needed was to start a fight, when all he wanted to do was pull her close and get lost in her love.

  OUT of bed, Ivy showered, dressed, and hurried downstairs. There was a spring in her step, so she took the stairs two at a time.

  Seeing Autumn at the table with a steamy cup in front of her, Ivy stopped. Peering over her shoulder at Ivy’s halted approach, Autumn turned back to her coffee. So, this was to be their introduction. Fine, Ivy was used to other people, especially women, giving her the cold shoulder.

  Lifting the mug to her lips, she said. “I saw the boss’s neck.”

  Ivy kept walking, only briefly acknowledging Autumn’s statement. The other woman was behaving particularly cold towards her and she wondered if this was solely about Owen. “Looks like he spent the night nursing a female vampire.”

  Remembering the red marks she’d left on Owen’s skin, Ivy almost smiled.

  Ivy shrugged. “Some men are suckers when it comes to women.” And, Owen wanted her mouth everywhere on him.

  She’d blushed red at his demand that she mark him, but secretly she thrilled when he met her compliance with compliance of his own. He had denied her nothing. Owen Tate was a generous and thorough lover. Seeing the redness left by her teeth and her nails this morning had surprised her. Never had she been so passionate with a man. But, Owen seemed to welcome her uninhibited nature. In fact, the wicked man had encouraged her wantonness twice last night, and once after sunrise. No wonder the hot shower this morning had soothed her achy places. Well, some places couldn’t be reached, thank goodness.

  With his scent gone from her skin, she wanted something of his to remain with her. A few aches would sustain her...until tonight.

  “What about Rui?”

  The question snatched Ivy back from her musings. “Who?” she quizzed.

  “Professor Rui Conners,” Autumn replied, her voice rising.

  So, this was the woman the professor was searching for. The professor’s need to make haste and Autumn’s cold shoulder made sense. Gossip spread faster than soft butter on hot toast in Endurance. Everyone at the university probably knew Ivy had approached him that first morning.

  “Oh, yeah,” Ivy said, snapping her fingers. “The dark-haired professor who likes to peak over the menu.”

  Ivy could almost see the woman’s hackles rise. She admitted, it sounded a bit weird the way she phrased it.

  “I heard you talked with him, and he looked uncomfortable when he left.”

  Where there was concern when she mentioned Owen’s name, that concern had been replaced with heated venom when it pertained to the college man. Ivy could see Autumn poised to strike another blow if she responded incorrectly. She decided to let Autumn in on her secret.

  “I’m dyslexic. I talked with the professor about local programs that I might benefit from.” The wind instantly left Autumn’s sails, and Ivy could see the anger melt away. “That’s all we talked about. Adult education.”

  At that, Autumn raised a brow. Ivy immediately recognized the dual meaning. Looking to Autumn, she wondered what the woman would do next. But then, her shoulders began to shake with laughter.

  “And did Rui school you?”

  “Not in the least,” Ivy reassured. “He dropped in a couple of days ago to grab a cheesy macaroni pizza and give me the website address for the free course offerings. The poor man, according to the town hotline, his sitter is on the verge of resigning due to his daughter’s pranks.”

  “Owen’s the only teacher I want. I really like him,” she said, trying not to giggle like a crazy woman in love.

  “So, you and Owen, huh?”

  Ivy steeled her spine, readying herself for an insult. Crossing to the sink, she opened a cabinet, grabbed a cup, and filled it with fresh brew. Turning, she faced Autumn. Sipping on the delicious java, Ivy sighed, and then responded. “Yep. Me and Owen.”

  “Sounds serious.”

  “Yeah,” she sighed. “Seriously complicated.”

  “And Cai?”

  “I love him.” She also loved his father, but that would be too much. “I’m working on something special for his birthday.”

  “Tomorrow should be a fun day on the course for you guys.” Autumn’s face remained impassive, like she’d forgotten something sad, but just remembered.

  “I should thank you for stepping in,” Autumn offered.

  Ivy c
rinkled her nose in confusion. “For what?”

  “Normally I’d stop by here after my morning runs.”

  “Yeah, Owen mentioned that.”

  Autumn gave a small smile. “He thinks my visits are about the free breakfast, but I pop in before class because I know Delaney needs the help. She’s terrible at managing the bar and grille, and her cooking—let’s just say that conversation was the best thing on the menu before you arrived.”

  Ivy laughed at that. “Thanks,” she beamed. “I appreciate the compliment. Owen lets me do what I want with the menu.”

  Autumn nodded as if she agreed.

  “Owen is a fair boss, and a great father. He’s a good guy who’s been through a tough time.”

  Where was she going with this? Ivy had an idea, but she didn’t detect malice from the other woman. Only concern for a man she respected.

  “Yep. That’s all true,” Ivy remarked.

  “You though, Ivy Summers,” Autumn said, pushing out her chair and standing. “Verdict is still out as to whether you are a good woman.”

  Not if she was good enough, but a good woman for her friend and boss. Ivy found she liked Autumn Raine. The woman was perceptive, and she took good care of the Tates.

  “I don’t think I am, but I would sacrifice everything I have before hurting Owen or Cai.”

  This was the first conversation she and Autumn had shared. She’d spare the woman the details of her past and last night. The true baptism by fire with come soon enough, Owen had asked her to move into his bedroom.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Owen flung the back door open, not caring when the wood frame slammed against the brick wall. Once in the kitchen he spied Cai running around the table and Ivy standing at the sink, Aria Arie’s soulful tune playing in the background. The scene was right, Ivy at home, Cai happy and running around the house, but it felt wrong—especially today.

  Autumn peaked her head out of the TV room. “Owen how did everything go at the cem-“

  “Not now,” he rasped.

  “Okay, then.” Autumn turned on her heel, disappearing from sight.

  Ivy stopped what she was doing to regard him. Initially, she smiled, but then detecting his dark mood, her face fell. He couldn’t bring himself to approach her. He could barely stand to look at her. It hurt too much. He hurt too much. How could he have forgotten? This morning while he lay tangled in bed with Ivy, he had an appointment to pick up new flowers for Caitlyn’s grave. With Ivy under his roof, under him, he’d lost his focus.

  “Daddy, look at the shirt angel mommy made me.”

  Cai ran to him, oblivious to the strain on Ivy’s face.

  “Mommy?” Owen snapped at hearing the word. He glared at Ivy. “Did you tell him to call you mommy?”

  At his vitriol, Ivy stumbled backwards.

  She raised both hands in mock surrender. “Of course not,” she said, voice weighted down with concern for him. She could tell by his expression, he didn’t want her empathy. Didn’t need it.

  “Daddy,” Cai grabbed his arm.

  He stomped toward her. “Let go, Cai,” he growled.

  “He’s not your son, Ivy,” he said, raising his voice. “Don’t let him call you mommy.”

  She took a step towards him. “Owen I would never do that. What’s—,”

  He backed away, as if her nearness burned him. The wounded look in her eyes, nearly felled him. He was hurting her, though she’d done nothing but be here, in his space, in Caitlyn’s space.

  “Today is the anniversary of Caitlyn’s death,” he blurted out.

  Ivy’s face lost its color. She was a smart woman, no doubt she was thinking about everything that happened between them last night. This morning, he’d asked her to move into his bedroom. So afraid of her response, he hadn’t stuck around for an answer. And dang it, as bad as his heart hurt for everything he’d lost with Caitlyn’s death, he wanted Ivy’s answer to be yes. They needed to be alone.

  “Owen, I had no idea.” She reached for him, but then dropped her hand. “What can I do?”

  He cut her a look. “We did plenty last night,” he clipped. “Cai, go to your room. Ivy and I need to talk.”

  None of this was Ivy’s fault, yet his soul clamored for him to stop aiming his arrows at her. He could see she felt his pain and that she shared in his anguish. God, he loved her. Even in this selfish moment, he wanted her with him, though the guilt of wanting to reach out and pull her into his arms was tearing him apart.

  “But, Daddy. She made a shirt for you, too.”

  He didn’t look down. Instead he added a stern, “Cai, now.”

  The sob that filled the room, wrenched his heart. He looked down then to see tears began to fill Cai’s eyes.

  Ivy’s soft tone, motherly as it were, intruded on the moment. “Cai baby, go on now. We’ll show Daddy later.”

  Owen heard the growl that escaped his throat. How could she be so compassionate to a child who wasn’t hers, when Owen was being a jerk to her? It made him want her all the more...at that realization his self-loathing morphed into anger, at himself for loving Ivy and at her, for being so easy to love.

  “Don’t direct him. I’m right here. I’m his parent, not you.”

  Ivy put up her hands. “Look.” Her lips trembled in hurt and confusion. “I’m sorry,” her voice began to tremble. “I didn’t mean to overstep.”

  “Well, you did.” He let his anger hang there between them. Watching as it hit her, knocking the light out in her eyes, and his heart broke right along with hers. Owen crumbled on the inside as tears filled her eyes.

  “Daddy, stop,” Cai yelled. “You’re making Ivy cry.”

  Ivy stared up at him, pain unlike any he’d ever witnessed filled her eyes. But, he couldn’t give in to her right now. He hated himself too much.

  “I’m going to go for a walk to get some fresh—,”

  He cut her off. “You’re right. I can’t talk about us. I need to work some things out in my head. Just go,” he heard himself say.

  In his mind, an emotional flood of epic portions roared for him to not let her go, but he couldn’t work through his grief for Caitlyn with Ivy within arms reach. He’d used her to soothe his pain, and he’d promised he would never take advantage of her love for him.

  “No,” Cai wailed. “Don’t leave, Ivy. Daddy,” he cried.

  Owen scooped his son up in his arms. Everything that happened today fell squarely on his shoulders. He was the one that had veered off course. It was his fault his son ran around the house excited about wearing the tie-dye shirt Ivy had created special for his birthday. Owen thought about Caitlyn and what she would’ve done if she were in his shoes.

  “Okay, then,” Ivy said, turning to let the water out of the sink. Owen was mad at himself, mad with Ivy. Most women would have run from the room in hysterical sobs. Not his Ivy. She would never break, not like he had. She was so strong. Stronger than him at this moment, because every nerve in his body signaled him to go to her, tell her how bad he was hurting, but he was too weak. Too afraid he’d break down like he had the night he’d gotten the call that Caitlyn had been struck by a car.

  These last few days, he’d been living his life...and somehow he’d forgotten everything he planned in honor of Caitlyn’s legacy. One thing was for sure; Caitlyn never would have made the people she loved cry their eyes out. How could he forgive himself—he’d disappointed the two most important women in his life.

  OWEN placed Cai’s limp body on his Ironman pillow. For the first time in months, his son had cried himself to sleep, but not because he missed his mother. No, he cried because Owen had told Ivy to leave them alone. Today was the two-year anniversary of Caitlyn’s death and Owen had forgotten. Last night, he’d lost himself in another woman. This morning he’d woke feeling like he’d won a hidden treasure, because of Ivy.

  The call from All In Gifts & Flowers, reminding him to pick up the fresh bouquets he’d ordered for Caitlyn’s headstone, had spilled a vat of acid in his g
ut. What kind of husband forgot the day he lost his wife? The kind who had fallen in love with another woman. He’d resented Ivy in that moment. Resented himself for loving her. After visiting the gravesite, he’d returned home to find his son, the only child he and Caitlyn would ever share, calling Ivy mommy. Shame and guilt had slammed into him. He’d failed Caitlyn in life. And now, he’d betrayed her in death. He’d unleashed his pain on Ivy.

  Why did he have to care so much for her?

  He shouldn’t have these feelings for a woman he’d just met. But, he did.

  Even now, he wanted to go downstairs, find her, and apologize.

  All of sudden, a whimper sounded from the bed.

  “Mommy,” Cai sobbed, “send my angel back.”

  Though his eyes remained closed, tears ran down Cai’s pale cheeks.

  Owen’s heart crumbled. Ivy loved Cai and he loved her. What a jackwagon Owen had been. Now, his son was heartbroken, and Ivy was probably downstairs pissed at him.

  Dropping low, he placed a kiss to his son’s temple.

  “I’ll get your angel back,” he whispered. “I promise.”

  In a flash he was closing the door behind him to descend the stairs. He’d just entered their small kitchen, when Autumn called out from the television room.

  “You should have told her about the anniversary.”

  Owen gritted his teeth. He liked Autumn, appreciated everything she did to help out with the bar and Cai, but he didn’t need a lecture. He needed to find Ivy and beg her forgiveness.

  “I will,” he pushed out.

  “I think I would have grown to like Ivy Summers.”

  Owen ran a frustrated hand through his blond mane, and then he froze. Autumn said she would’ve liked Ivy.

  Dread, thick and tarry, dropped in his gut. He turned to look at Autumn. Sadness, fresh and vivid filled her eyes.

  “Where is she?” he said walking towards her.

  Autumn shook her head. “I don’t know.”