Sinner's Revenge
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DIEM CRIES IN my arms all the way back home. I carry her inside and she cries in my arms while we lay in my bed. Then she cries all through the night and into the morning. I just hold her and rub her and tell her over and over that I love her. That I’ll protect her. And I promise that this life is over, and I’ll spend the rest of my days building her a new one.
Eventually, she cries herself to sleep. When she does, the only comfort I find is in the peace that is her slow, steady breathing. It calms my heart and my racing mind to know that as long as she’s asleep, she can escape from reality.
I refuse sleep even though my body begs for it. I won’t waste one moment of her needing me and me not being here for her. If she sleeps for days, I’ll still be awake—waiting for her to open her eyes so I can promise her again that I’m going to take care of everything.
It’s after nine in the morning when she stirs. It’s takes a minute to remember where she is and how she got here, but I can tell the minute realization dawns on her. As the memories come flooding back, I see them weighing heavy on her with every new one her mind processes.
Laying her head back on my chest, she sighs. “Do you think I’m weak?”
I almost laugh. “No. You’re the strongest person I know.” She has the strength of Dirk.
“Are you disappointed in me?”
“I’m proud of you. It takes a helluva lot more strength to walk away than it does to stay.” Tilting her head so she looks up at me, I give her a sad smile. “I was too weak to do it myself.”
“Walk away?”
I nod. “We all have a choice, Diem. I chose power and evil over a life that could have been a fuck of a lot more than the one I’ve made.”
“It’s never too late,” she whispers, begging me with her eyes to give up something I’ve already decided to let go of.
“I know.” I refuse to say anything else until I’m sure I can deliver on my promise. Sinner’s Creed wasn’t something you just walked away from. But for her, I was going to do everything in my power to make it happen.
“I’ve got to pee,” she says, breaking the thick tension in the room. I’ve never been so grateful for her bladder or her bluntness. Getting up, she drags her feet to the bathroom, and I take the moment to go outside and piss too before I explode.
The shower is running when I return. Opening the bathroom door, I see her clothes strewn across the floor. “You okay?” I ask, rolling my eyes at my own stupid question.
“I’d be better if you were in here.” At her answer I’m stripping. Moments later, I’m lathering her body with soap. “Did you mean what you said? About finding me a way out?” she asks, keeping her eyes closed as my fingers massage shampoo into her scalp.
“Every word.” I reassure her by pressing my lips against her forehead—a gesture I know makes her feel wanted and safe.
I’m shampooing her hair for the second time, her request, when she asks, “How?”
“Do you trust me?” Cracking one eye open, she tells me she does without hesitation. “Then let me worry about that. I promised I’d take care of you and I will.”
“What about you?” She looks down at our feet, mindlessly washing the same part of my stomach over and over. “Who’s going to take care of you?” This time, she meets my eyes, searching for an answer.
“Rookie,” I shrug, smirking.
She cocks her head to the side, a concerned look on her face. “Seriously, Shady.”
Pushing the wet strands of hair back from her head, I grab the back of her neck. Staring into her eyes, I tell her the truth. “I can take care of both of us. So promise me that you’ll let me handle this.” It takes her a minute, but finally she finds something in my eyes that makes her believe that what I’m saying is the truth.
“Okay. I promise.”
I smile. “Good. Now, unless you’re trying to remove my skin, try washing me somewhere else.”
* * *
While Diem attempts to cook something that I swear I’m not going to bitch about, I sneak away to call Rookie. “I need you to come over and stay with Diem while I handle a few things,” I tell him as soon as he answers.
“Want me to bring Carrie?” I think about that a moment. Either way, it had its pros and cons. But four eyes on Diem were better than two.
“Yeah. But Rookie,” I say, lowering my tone with warning. “Do not let her out of your sight. I mean it. I’m trusting you.”
“Who the hell has you so paranoid? I’ll shoot her in the foot if I have to, but I give you my word she won’t leave my sight.” The sad part about that is he’s telling the truth. I am paranoid. And he would shoot her if he had to. I just hope it doesn’t come to that.
* * *
“Something smells good,” I lie, walking back into the kitchen.
“It’s a fucking sandwich, Shady.” Good to see she hasn’t lost her attitude.
I scan the counter looking for mine. “You make me one?” I ask, my eyes still searching.
“One time. One time I lose my shit.” She glares at me. “I had an emotional breakdown. Not amnesia. I still remember who I am, and the last time I checked I didn’t make you sandwiches.”
I can’t take my eyes off her. I can’t wipe this smile from my face either. I love her so fucking much. Just like this. This is my Diem—bitchy, self-centered, and bossy. I think it’s the cabin. Almost every good memory we have was shared here. I was going to miss this place.
“Stop looking at me like that. It’s creepy.” She grabs her sandwich and her milk, heading straight for my recliner. Dressed in my shirt, she pulls it down over her legs, using her knees as a table. I hear the opening credits of Gunsmoke and capture this moment. Then I remember all the other moments we’ve had together. Like so many times before, I’m prepared to give my life for the ones I love. Today might be my final day, but it would be just the beginning for Diem.
* * *
Rookie and Carrie arrive, and judging by the smile on Diem’s face, the decision to bring Carrie was the right one. I jerk my head toward the bedroom and Rookie follows. Closing the door behind me, he starts before I have a chance to say what I need to.
“Carrie will not let Diem out of her sight.” The finality in his tone has me shaking my head. He just ignores me. “I trust her. You should too. But I’m coming with you.”
“No,” I say firmly. “I need you here. If this shit goes south, this will be the first place they come. I won’t leave our girls to fend for themselves. I need you here. They need you here.” He doesn’t like it, but finally he agrees.
“Fine. But if I don’t hear from you by morning, I’m coming to get you.”
I nod. “Call Cleft. Get him to arrange for her to have a passport in a different name. Have him meet her at the airport in Houston along with a one-way ticket out of the country. There is some money in my safe along with the information for my accounts overseas. If I’m not back by morning, put her ass on a plane and get her out of here. If you don’t, she will die.”
Removing his hat, he rubs his hand over his head. “I’m not so sure about this, Shady. Dorian’s not the kind of guy you just walk up to and demand shit from.”
“I’m not demanding anything. I’m just going to talk to him. Her leaving is just a precaution. Trust me.”
“It’s him I don’t trust,” he snaps, cutting me off. “He will kill you.”
“Then guess what, I’ll die and Diem will be free.” Stepping closer, I wrap my hand around the back of his neck, bringing his face an inch from mine. “I would give my life for you. For my club. For Carrie. I am not scared to offer up the same thing for Diem. I will not be intimidated by any man. I don’t care who that motherfucker is.”
Taking a deep breath, he nods, grabbing my shoulder. “Okay,” he says, his eyes burning with respect and pride. “Do what you got to do. I’ll take care of everything
else.” Pulling him in, I hug my brother. My best friend. The one person I trust with the one thing that I hold close to my heart—my Diem. He will do this for me because he loves me. And because he knows I’d sure as fuck do it for him.
* * *
My bag is packed, slung over my shoulder as I prop up against the wall and stare at Diem, who wears a genuine smile for the first time in weeks. She already looks free . . . happy. Her eyes move to me and I give her a smirk. Her face falls as she takes me in, fully dressed and packed to leave. “A minute?” I ask, nodding my head toward the kitchen.
She follows me in, her hands fidgeting nervously. “You’re leaving?” she asks, once we’re alone.
“Yeah.” I smile, caressing her cheek with the back of my hand. “Remember when I told you I would handle everything? Well, some things can’t be done over the phone.”
She nods. “I know.”
“Look,” I start, framing her face with my hands. “I made some arrangements for you. Rookie is going to handle everything. But I need you to do exactly what he says when the time comes.”
She pulls away, shaking her head. “He will kill you, Shady.”
I roll my eyes. “So I’ve been told,” I say, bored. “What he will do is listen to what I have to say. Trust me, babe. I’m pretty good at this. I know what I’m doing, I just don’t know how long it will take. So I need you to do as I ask.”
“I’m not gonna sit back and let you deal with this shit yourself,” she snaps, her eyes flashing with anger.
“What happened to letting me handle shit, huh? Where’s that Diem from the shower this morning?”
“She found her nuts in a sandwich,” she spits back at me. And I almost smile.
“I made you a promise. I plan to make good on that promise too. Now it’s time for you to keep your word. I’ve never asked you for anything, Diem. I’m asking you for this. And if I remember correctly, you owe me one.” It’s a shitty hand to play, but it’s the only one I have. But it doesn’t hurt her.
Coming closer, she reaches out, fisting her hands in my shirt. “My life will be worth nothing if the rest of it is spent grieving you. I can deal with anything this shitty life throws at me because I know I’ll have you to come home to. But if you leave, I lose everything.”
Her words are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. She’s what I’ve spent my whole life searching for. She’s the only thing that can fill that void in my chest. And for that reason alone, is why I’m doing this. “I will come back to you. I swear on your life, Diem—the most precious thing I value. I’m not asking anymore. I’m telling you.” Cradling her neck in my hands, I run my thumb across her cheek and whisper my final plea. “Let me go.”
Her brown eyes well with tears. I can see the resolve in them even before she speaks. “Then go.”
Closing my eyes, I breathe a sigh of relief. It’s not that she’s letting me do this; it’s that she trusts me enough to. “I love you,” I tell her, planting a soft kiss on her trembling lips.
“If you die, I’m going to kill you,” she says against my mouth, and I smile.
“Deal.” Allowing myself to drown in that sea of brown, I gaze into her eyes one last time. “See you around, pretty girl.”
I turn and walk out, promising myself that this is the last time I will ever leave her again.
* * *
Dorian is currently staying at his mansion in Boston—one of the many he has in the U.S. It makes my cabin look like a shack and Fort Knox look like a playground. A sixteen-foot wrought-iron fence wired with motion detectors surrounds the property that sits on a corner lot. The yard is guarded by numerous pit bulls that I’m sure live off of human flesh. Men are at every corner, constantly on watch for any suspicious activity. It’s a little much if you ask me, but whatever lets him sleep at night.
I park on the street, and I’m still getting out when I’m shoved to the ground. My guns are taken from me, which I predicted would happen anyway. “Who are you?” one of the men asks. He sounds excited and I’m guessing that they don’t get much action around here.
“Shady,” I say, the side of my face pressed against the sidewalk. “I’m here to see Dorian.” I’m pulled to my feet while someone speaks into an earpiece. Whoever responds on the other end must have told them who I was. Now they’re brushing off my clothes and offering me a cigarette. But they don’t offer me my gun.
“I’m good. But, I’ll be expecting that back when I leave,” I tell them, pointing to my gun that one of the other guards is already admiring.
“Sure thing, Shady.” Fucking goons. They were worse than Prospects.
I’m ushered through the gates, and up the stone steps of the palace. A heavy wooden door opens once I reach the top and an old man greets me, offering me a glass of wine, which I decline. When he offers whiskey, I accept.
Another goon holding a machine gun leads me into a parlor that smells like cigar smoke and money. My eyes scan the room, appraising all the fine artwork and expensive decor I should probably give a shit about. But I don’t. The one thing that does capture my attention is a mural on the wall of a woman in red. Diem had the same portrait.
“My wife.” I turn to see Dorian walking in. His white dress shirt is untucked with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He holds a glass of scotch in one hand and a cigar in the other. “She reminds me that love is a dangerous thing.” He stands beside me, looking up at the beautiful woman that resembles Diem, but there is still no comparison.
“No man has ever loved a woman as much as I loved my Dia. She was my world.” He pauses, turning to look at me. I can still see the hate sparkling in his eyes. “Then she fucked me. Both literally and figuratively.”
The old man appears with my whiskey and I take it, thanking him kindly. “Do you mind if I smoke?” I ask, needing the nicotine to help calm my nerves.
“Smoke,” Dorian says with a wave of his hand. “What brings you here on this beautiful evening, Shady? It has to be important considering you disobeyed my direct order to not leave Diem’s side. So, are you here for business or pleasure?”
I light the cigarette, letting the smoke fill my lungs before answering. “Both.”
“Both.” He nods his head, gesturing for me to take the seat across from him. I’d rather stand, but considering his position, I sit out of respect. “Go ahead, the floor is yours.”
“I’m here to discuss Diem.”
At the mention of her name, a spark of concern flashes in his eyes, but he doesn’t ask about her well-being. I wasn’t expecting the show of weakness, but it gives me a little more confidence than I had a moment ago.
“She wants out,” I say, cutting through the bullshit. This isn’t a man who cares to hear it, so I don’t waste his time.
“Out? There is only one way out.” His voice remains calm, but I can see the disappointment written all over his face.
“That’s why I’m here. To help find another way out.”
He shifts, not liking my tone. Unfortunately for him, I don’t give a shit. “I don’t take kindly to threats, Shady. You’ll do well to remember that.”
“I’m not threatening you. I simply want to make you an offer. Someone to step in and take Diem’s place.”
He laughs, finding humor in my suggestion. “Who? You? This isn’t your bike club, Shady. This is the Mafia. Blood matters in this business. You have to be made to be a part of my family. And even if your tanned skin and dark eyes make you appear to be from our bloodline, my people will know the difference. You look more Mexican than Greek, my friend.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “Sí, señor.” I take a sip of my whiskey, letting him recover from his fit of laugher. Damn, he’s easily amused. “But I wasn’t talking about me.” My smile drops, and I watch as his fades too.
“There is no one else,” he says, a warning in his tone.
I lean f
orward. “But you know that I know better than that, don’t you, Dorian.”
He shakes his head, a look of disgust on his face. “You come into my house and tell me what I know? What’s to keep me from killing you where you sit? Other than my expensive Persian rug that your filthy blood will stain.”
“Diem is falling apart. She’s not made for this. No amount of training can force her to become someone she isn’t. You and me,” I say, gesturing between the two of us. “We were born for this life. Dirk, he was born for this life.” At the mention of his name, Dorian’s eyes narrow. “She’s a woman, Dorian. I’m not saying that makes her any less of a human, but I’m saying that she needs more than just death, and money, and power. She needs love, nurturing, and knowledge that there is a man in this world that will always protect her.”
“And that man is you?” Dorian growls, using his best death glare to intimidate me. It might be working. Just a little.
“No.” I shake my head, feeling my body heat with anger. “That man is you.”
“I gave her everything!” Dorian suddenly yells, jumping to his feet. I stand too, not willing to be talked down to. “I gave her the opportunity to have whatever she wanted.”
“All she wanted was you,” I say between my teeth. If he kills me now, at least he’ll have my words to haunt him for the rest of his life. “You never gave her an opportunity because you never gave her a choice. You forced her into becoming a monster. Your own fucking daughter!”
Now I’m yelling, and out of the corner of my eye, I can see we’ve drawn a crowd. Dorian jerks his head toward the door and they all disperse. Looking back at me, a lethal gleam flashes in his eyes. This time, there is no respect to mask it. He’s pure evil. But a part of me is too.
“She is the future,” he says, pointing his finger at me.
I shake my head, giving him an incredulous half smile. “She was your future. But not anymore. You’re killing her. Not physically, but her spirit is breaking. Her will to live is dying. I saw it in Dirk. He searched his whole life for something, trying to fill that void that was you.”