Tic Tac Love

by A. M. Willard

  “I want it all, Paxton. I want a family with a dog and maybe a cat. The house with a nice backyard for my kids to run around and play in. I want stars and for my toes to curl when the man I love kisses me. Even after years of being together, I’ll want that connection that only he can give me.”

  I replay her words over and over in my head as the silence falls between us. As much as I want to be the one to give her that, I know it’s not me. Belle believes in fairy-tale love and all I believe in is this. I’m not the prince to sweep her off her feet. I’m the boy who lives down the street. Her best friend who loves her so much I have to keep it hidden.

  “Welcome to JFK International,” I hear, and before I can listen to the rest I’m up and out of my seat so fast I think I might have knocked into someone. Julie’s fast on my heels as we stand before the flight attendant, waiting for them to open the cabin doors.

  We race up the terminal and search for a place to call Brooke back. Julie hasn’t explained what her message was, but from what I could tell on the plane it was similar to mine.

  Hitting Brooke’s name, I hold the phone out in front of me so Julie can hear the conversation. All it does is ring and ring, sending me to voicemail.

  “Brooke, hey, it’s Paxton and Julie. We just landed at JFK. Where are you? What’s going on? Okay, call us back.”

  “What do you think is wrong?” Julie asks, and I shake my head as I can’t picture anything being wrong. It’s the only way I can keep my head on at the moment. If I allow myself that one second to go there, I might not come back out of it.

  “Come on, Jason’s getting our bags. Let’s go find out what’s happening,” I say as I lead Julie through the airport. Her body is tense under my touch. I can’t look at her, as the watery eyes that stare back at me make me realize that something is wrong.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Annabelle

  I woke this morning more uncomfortable than ever. My back hurts, my hips, and I’ve been nauseous. Brooke, Miranda, and I are supposed to meet for lunch and shopping, and as much as I want to cancel I know they won’t let me. Maybe if I explain to them how awful I feel they will. I know they’ve just been trying to keep me busy so I don’t miss Paxton as much, but today all I want to do is curl up in my bed and watch Hallmark while I beg Jace to cook or bring me something to eat. Maybe he could get me one of those strawberry slush drinks I found at the bakery down the street. That would taste good about right now. Instead, I pull my hair up in a messy bun and search through my closet for something to wear. Nothing fits… Nothing looks good… And for just a moment, I’m thankful Paxton isn’t here to see me wallow in pity, or to see me as big as a house. They weren’t kidding when they say you gain all your weight in the last month. I swear I woke the other day ten pounds heavier than I was when I went to sleep. Okay, maybe not ten but it’s a few pounds for sure. Throwing on a pair of black leggings and tunic top, I slide my stretchy sneakers on and head out to meet them.

  I forgo walking or waddling, as I now call it, and hail a taxi.

  “Lady, are you okay?” the driver asks as I climb in and hold my belly as I make a wincing sound.

  “Yes, I’m fine.”

  “Delivering cost extra,” he states as he pulls away from the curb. I can’t help but laugh at his statement. That would be a story for sure. Just as the thought crosses my mind again, my eyes pop open as it hits me. “I’m in labor,” I say out loud and notice the driver looking at me through the rearview mirror.

  “Do we need to go to the hospital?”

  “No, I’m okay; just take me to the restaurant, please.”

  I’m not feeling the Braxton Hicks or any contractions, but the pain in my back is increasing. I’m not going to freak out. I’m going on about my day until the contractions start. Approaching the curb, I pull out some cash and hand it to the driver. Instantly, I spot Brooke and Miranda waiting outside for me. When I step out on the curb another shooting pain spikes through my back, causing my feet to halt. I grab ahold of the bike rack that’s bolted to the concrete and wait it out.

  “Annabelle, you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m great, just got winded,” I say, uprighting myself.

  Entering the restaurant, we follow the young man to our table and I try to listen as he tells us the specials for the day. Honestly, I have no idea what he’s saying. All I can focus on is what’s going on with my body. Am I in labor? I’m a day away from being thirty-nine weeks; it could be possible.

  “Annabelle, where are you?” Miranda asks.

  “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

  “What do you want to drink?” Brooke asks. I turn my head toward the waiter. “Water, please.” It comes out more strangled than I anticipated.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “No, I’m not. But I’m sure it’s just that I’m hungry.”

  “Okay, you seem off, and your face keeps making weird expressions over there,” Miranda says as she uses her hands to demonstrate. I can’t help but laugh at her antics to lighten up the mood.

  “Are you in labor?” Brooke questions, causing me to stop in mid-stride as I’m about to take a bite of bread.

  “No, I have another week to go. Just those false contractions. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

  Will I be fine? I have to be. The baby can’t come until Paxton comes home. At this point, I’m willing to use a roll of duct tape to shut my legs. He can’t miss this. As much as I miss him and want him home, I know he won’t forgive himself for missing the birth of our child.

  We finish lunch and are standing outside on the sidewalk trying to decide where to go shopping. A pain rushes through me, causing me to grab Brooke’s arm to brace myself through it.

  “That’s it, we’re going to the hospital. Something is going on,” she says. When I go to protest, my eyes grow wide with embarrassment.

  “Did you just do what I think you did?” Miranda questions as she runs her eyes down the length of my legs to the sidewalk.

  “No, I think her water just broke,” Brooke says.

  “I think we need to go to the hospital now,” I say with my face scrunched up, trying to hide my anxiety.

  “Taxi,” Miranda yells as she leaps out in the street. Lord, she’s going to get herself killed before I can deliver. This is all I need. I glance to Brooke, who without me saying understands that I’m pleading with her to snag Miranda in a little. I can’t deal with her overexcitement at this moment. They get me inside the back of the car, and before I know it Miranda is yelling at the driver to step on.

  “Miranda, let’s take some breaths, okay,” Brooke says softly.

  “I need my phone. I’ve got to call Pax. He needs to get here and fast. Oh my God, he’s going to miss this,” I say as the tears start to stream down my face.

  “Shhh, calm down. Once we get you to the hospital, I’ll call him and we’ll figure out how to get him here before the baby’s born.”

  “Thanks, Brooke, but we all know that won’t happen. There’s no way he’ll make it in time.”

  “You never know; this is your first child, and labor could take days.”

  My head turns to her, frantic eyes stare at her face as they warn her to never utter those words again. I’m not sure how people go days in labor, all I know is I need out of these wet clothes and drugs.

  I wanted to do this natural. No drugs, just focusing and breathing like they say to do. Right now, I want two bags of drugs and a flipping strawberry slushy.

  “Can you call Jace and ask him to bring me a slushy?” I whine as I lean my head back.

  “Sure, do you want him to grab your bags and stuff?”

  “Oh, yes, that too,” I say as I totally forgot I need that stuff. I mean, we have time as they could bring it up later. Another wave of radiating pain shoots through me, and I grip the seat in front of me like my life depends on it.

  “Just hold on, Annabelle. We’re almost there,” Miranda says, smoothing my fallen hair from my face.
/>   I listen as they try to keep the conversation going and my mind off the fact that this is happening.

  Pulling up at the sliding doors of the hospital, Brooke slides out first helping me to my feet. Motioning for Miranda to take me in, I watch as she pulls out her phone. I know she’s calling Paxton. I just pray he’s somewhere with reception and near an airport. The staff takes me up to the labor and delivery floor, expressing that only one can come back with me for the time being. Since Brooke is contacting everyone I settle for Miranda, giving her strict instructions to stay calm. After I’m settled and hooked up to all the monitors, Brooke finally joins us.

  “Jace is on the way, and I’ve left several messages for Paxton and Julie. I called your parents, and they’ll be here soon.”

  “Thanks, Brooke.”

  With each increasing contraction, I realize that I’ll be doing this alone. Technically not, as my mother and friends are here. It’s just that the only person I want to share this moment with is miles away once again. Seems this is going to be the story of our lives. No matter what, it always comes back down to this for us. I need to face the facts and accept that Paxton’s going to miss many more firsts in the future. I take this moment to close my eyes and relax while I can. The nurse explains that I’m five centimeters dilated, which also means I can have the epidural if I want. I opt for it as I give in to the pain and the fact that this isn’t going as planned. Before I drift off, I watch Brooke step outside my door, speaking softly to her phone. My heart races with wonder. Is it Paxton or someone else?

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Paxton

  “Brooke, what’s happening?” I practically scream through the phone at her.

  “Belle’s in labor, and we’re at the hospital. You need to get here as soon as you can, Paxton.”

  “I’m in a cab now! We’ll see you in a few,” I say, only to realize that Brooke doesn’t know that we just arrived back.

  “Are you here? Wait, I’m confused.”

  “We just landed, I was going to surprise Belle but I guess the surprise is on me.”

  “No, I’m pretty sure when you walk through that door, she’s going to be shocked. Just get here.”

  “Brooke… Is she… Are they okay?”

  “They’re both doing great. Oh, and I won’t tell her you’re on the way.”

  “Thanks, Brooke,” I say before disconnecting the call. I fill Julie in on everything before leaning my head back to take it all in.

  I have to thank the skies above as this was just by accident that we’d already landed. If we’d taken another day to wrap up on location, I’d be missing the birth of our child. I’d have to spend the rest of my time making this up to Belle. She wouldn’t voice her disappointment with it, but I’d know. Because I’d be just as upset for missing it. This changes my plans for the evening, but it’s okay; I have another trick up my sleeve.

  Walking through the doors, I locate the waiting room where I spot her family, my dad, and Jace. We do the quick hellos and early congrats before I go search for Belle.

  Tap… Tap… Tap…

  “Come in,” I hear Brooke’s voice filter toward me as I open the door the rest of the way. My eyes land on a sleeping Belle. My feet skid to a stop as I take her in. Her blonde hair’s fanned out on the pillow, an IV in her arm, blood pressure cuff on the other, and I notice all the wires coming out from underneath her blanket.

  “She’s just resting.” Brooke must notice my hesitation. I’ve never seen anyone lying in a hospital bed before. Not to mention, someone I love more than the air I breathe. She looks comfortable and not in any pain.

  “How’s she doing?” I ask, stepping closer.

  “Great, she did give in and got the epidural. Ever since that she’s been asleep.”

  I can’t help but let out a low laugh at the fact that my Belle gave in to the pain medicine. I’ll ask about that later. Right now, I need for her to know that I’m here.

  “I’m going to step out and give you two some time together. Glad you made it, Paxton,” Brooke says as she pats me on the back. I give a quick nod in her direction.

  Leaning down, I place a kiss on top of Belle’s forehead, whispering, “Hey, beautiful, I made it.” She mumbles something that I can’t make out. I don’t let go of her hand as I slide the chair over toward the edge of the bed. Sitting, I lean my head down on her leg and listen to the sounds coming from the monitors. I watch the massive one next to me as it prints out spikes on a paper. The little heart flashes to the left of the screen, and I take it that’s our child getting ready to meet us. Belle moves a little with a grunt, causing me to stand abruptly.

  “Belle, you okay?”

  “Paxton?”

  “It’s me, I’m here.”

  “How long have I been asleep? What’s going on?”

  “Not long I think, and I just got here. See, funny thing is I was going to surprise you, but I guess you win this round.”

  “I never win when it comes to you,” she says with a smile.

  “Yes, you do, you have no idea how many times you’ve won.”

  “I was so worried you’d miss this.”

  “Nothing to worry about now, I’m here and we’re doing this together.”

  “Paxton.”

  “Yes, Belle?”

  “I need to push, it’s time.”

  Those words don’t even have time to register with me before I’m out the door looking for a nurse.

  I stand off to the side as they push machines, scales, carts and more nurses pile into the room. Once the doctor appears, we all get in our positions to support Belle and help her get through this. As I stand here with her hand in mine, I can’t believe that there was a time in my life that I tried to walk away from her. Run from the one person who sees me as me and nothing else. She loves me in a way that I can only pray never fades away.

  “Give me one more big push, Annabelle,” her doctor says.

  I lean down a little closer and locking our eyes together, I whisper, “You can do this, Belle. Let’s meet our baby.”

  Before I can finish, she focuses on my face and lets out a gust of air with a push.

  The sounds of a crying baby fill the room.

  “Congratulations, you have a beautiful baby girl.”

  With tears filling both of our eyes, I lean down and kiss Belle hard.

  “You did it, Belle.”

  “No, we did it.”

  We stare at each other a little longer before the nurse hands Belle our daughter.

  “What shall we name her?” Belle asks as I can’t keep my eyes off her.

  “She looks just like you, you know that?” I say with amusement.

  “I see you in her, and she’s going to give you a run for your money,” Belle states. I should go out and let our family know the good news, but I can’t yet. There’s something I have to do first.

  I slide out a piece of paper, unwrapping the already premade lines that I worked on while in the air.

  “Belle, we have one last game that has to be played. One last win for me, but this time you won’t lose—you’ll gain my last name and love forever. I challenge you, Annabelle Quinn, to a game of tic-tac-toe. If I win, we marry as soon as we can. If you win I give you the wedding of your dreams. All you have to do is say yes. Yes, to making me the happiest man in the world. To agree to always be the O to my X’s.”

  She’s staring up at me. Our daughter gazing at our faces as she’s the one to witness this moment between her mother and father.

  “You’re scaring me, Belle. Usually, a girl answers when the guy proposes,” I say.

  “Yes, I’ll be your O, and I’ll play.”

  I hold the paper out for her to make her mark on the bottom like always. Next, I pull the paper away and mark mine, and we continue down this path until I place the final x that wins the game.

  “So I guess we’re getting married,” she says.

  “Yes, we are. It’s about time I make you Annabelle West.”

/>   “Kiss me, Paxton,” she says as she looks up. As my lips hover over hers, our daughter lets out a loud cry, alerting us that she wants all the attention.

  “How about Layla Belle West?”

  “I like that, but where did you come up with Layla?” Belle questions.

  “You once said if you ever had a daughter, you wanted to name her Layla. I always knew that would be our daughter’s name.”

  “I forgot about that. I can’t believe you remembered.”

  “I always remember things that you tell me, Belle.”

  “Seems that way. So when are you going to marry me?”

  “Right now if I could, but let’s get you home and settled first. Oh, I almost forgot the ring.”

  “You have a ring?”

  “I do, I’ve had it with me for months. Just waiting for the right moment. I refused to wait another second today,” I say and slide the ring on her finger. It’s a simple princess cut that fits Belle perfectly.

  I kiss her and Layla before walking out to get our family and friends. I can’t help but think about the future. One where I’ll be next to my best friend and daughter. For the first time in my life, I feel content. The weight to run is no longer on the heel of my shoes. The weight of the world is no longer on my shoulders. All I’m carrying down the hall with me is love. I finally got the girl of my dreams, and I’m not wasting another day hiding it. Our family and friends knew a long time ago that this is where we’d end up. We just had to fight through the middle parts to get to it. Each of us thought the other deserved better, but it wasn’t until now that I realize my better is Annabelle and now Layla. They're my home and the reason I was put here. It doesn’t matter where I might travel to in this world—Belle is home and where my bags will always land.

  * * *

  The End