by Amy Field
“Dad, stop this,” came the voice that promised he would protect her. “I told you she didn’t have anything to do with my decision. I love her and I want to marry her,” he exclaimed.
Mary didn’t know where he was as she couldn’t focus, the fog was still over her eyes but she tried her best to focus on his voice. It was all she had to depend on; it was her strength.
“If you marry her, you are no longer a part of this family,” his father threatened.
"Stop!"
Mary felt surprised that she had it in herselfo shout so loudly.
It felt as if a warning bell had sounded in her head which prompted her to shout again.
“Stop!”
Everything slowed down. The room stopped spinning, her heart stopped beating erratically and most important the arguing had stopped.
She focused her attention on Mr. Graber and his wife, who stood by his side.
“I will leave,” she said in a shaky voice. “I won’t let you hurt him because of me, so I will go."
Her aunt moved towards her, but she stopped her in her tracks.
“I must be that much bastardly of a person for you to feel so strongly about me,” she continued addressing the Grabers. “I am irredeemable and you have no use for me. You look at me and all you see is my mother’s error that was made over twenty one years ago,” she choked up at the end.
She could see that Abel itched to come to her but she shook her head in refusal.
“You know what I came to learn while I was here?” she asked.
No one answered.
“That God loves us all no matter what we do or how many times we mess up. He is willing to forgive us. Yet I have done nothing wrong against you and you judge me. What did I do that was so unforgiveable?” she asked. “Was it because I was born? You never took the chance to know me; to know my fears, how much I struggled with forgiving God for taking my foster mother. Abel listened and he encouraged me to see God for who he is and I did. I very much want you to forgive you for judging me without even knowing me, but it’s hard and I can’t stay and see the face of people who hate me for no reason. And to think I was considering joining the faith,” she finished sarcastically.
At the end of her outburst her eyes were red and swollen from her tears, the Grabers hung their heads in shame and her aunt and Hans had tears in their eyes. Mary felt bad, looking at them. Who was she, who lost ligion long ago to preach to them?
Abel looked to be in pain, not for himself but for her. She couldn’t bear it, however. She loved him, but she couldn’t allow him to give up everything for her. Before he could react, she bounded up the stairs and locked herself inside her room. Going towards the wardrobe she began taking out her things and adding them to her suitcase. She needed to get out of here.
She heard Abel banging on the door, begging her to let him in but she refused to listen to him as she continued packing her suitcase.
When she was finished, she pulled the door to see a teary eyed Abel standing at her door. His eyes had widened in surprise when she opened the door but when he saw the suitcase in her hands they registered panic.
“Please, don’t do this Mary, I love you,” he pleaded.
Reaching up, she clasped her hand over his cheek.
“I know and I love you too, that is why this is necessary.”
“No, Mary don’t do this,” he continued to plead as she moved away from him down the stairs.
When she got to the landing her aunt asked alarmed, “Where are you going Mary?”
“I need to leave here,” she said simply, not willing to look at her aunt for fear that her resolve would break.
The Grabers were out on the porch when she pushed open the door. Not sparing them a glance, she headed for the gate.
No matter how much they called out to her she would not listen. She didn’t turn back, not even when she heard Abel running after her and calling her name.
She proceeded to cross the narrow path across from her gate when she heard a loud shriek.
“Abel, watch out!” the person cried.
Mary turned just in time to see a horse and buggy bearing down on Abel, who was making his way across the path. Without thinking, she ran towards him and pushed him out of the way just as the horse made it to where she was. As if surprised by her presence, the horse rose up and its front hooves came crashing down on Mary’s chest and side. She heard a sickening crunch just before she went down and everything went black.
Mary felt parched and her head pounded as if someone was beating it with a hammer continually. Her eyes felt heavy as if laden with scales and no matter how she tried they wouldn’t budge.
“Mary can you hear me?” came a voice that sounded to be above her head yet quite distant. She tried to respond, but even her mouth wouldn’t work; her lips felt as if they had been stapled shut.
The voice continued to ask her the same question and after a few more attempts her eyes fluttered open but quickly closed as the light was too bright and burned her eyes. Cautiously, she half opened them to see a hazy figure looming over her.
“Can you hear me Mary?” the person asked again.
“Water,” was the first word that slipped from her parched throat.
Quickly the person brought the liquid of choice to her lips. After a few gulps, her throat felt slightly better and she was now able to focus more. It was her aunt who stood by the bedside looking down at her through half concerned and half relieved eyes.
“What happened?” she managed to ask. She tried to bring herself into a sitting position but winced at the sharp pain she felt to her right side. She chose to remain flat on her back.
“You were mowed down by a horse and buggy,” her aunt gave as way of explanation.
She tried to remember what happened, but her head pounded even more at her effort.
“Relax. It will all come to you,” Sarah reassured her.
“There are some people who would like to see you,” she continued in a cautious tone.
“Like who?” she asked, confused as her thoughts were still mudded.
“Like the Grabers,” she mentioned slowly.
At the mention of their names it all came rushing back to her and she took in a sharp breath.
“What for?” she asked warily.
“They thought about what you said and realized that their actions were irrational. They wanted to apologize.”
“They want to apologize to me?” she asked incredulously.
“I know it sounds bizarre,” her aunt replied, making a funny smile.
This earned a chuckle from Mary at her silliness but then she winced in pain. The sobering reality of what happened returned and she clamped up once more.
“I don’t want to see them,” she told Sarah.
“Listen, I know it’s hard to face them after what they said about you but after all you said and what happened to you they took to the streets to spread your praise to everyone who would listen,” she explained, trying to get Mary to understand that they were genuinely sorry for how they treated her.
“Even mom and dad are downstairs to see you, as well as Anna and her dad,” Sarah revealed.
At this Mary’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Okay, but let me see my grandparents first,” she requested.
Her grandmother came in the room with tears in her eyes and rushed towards her, all the while apologizing for the way she had treated her. Mary assured her that it was all under the bridge and forgotten as long as they were willing to get to know her. Her grandmother agreed and her grandfather, who stood by the door, gave a curt nod of approval and she realized this was how he was but he in his own way was apologizing to her as well.
Next was Anna, who came and hugged her with tears in her eyes. After apologizing for everything that happened to her and for not being able to talk to her Mary made her a promise that she would always be there for her.
A knock sounded on the door after Anna left and Mrs. Graber peeped in.
Mary simply shook her head not being able to speak at the moment. Very slowly Mr. and Mrs. Graber made their way into the room.
“How are you feeling, dear?” she asked, sounding truly concerned.
“Well, it appears I will live to continue polluting the good Christian air,” she replied dryly not able to resist the urge to make the gibe.
“We are truly sorry for what we said, Mary. We were truly out of line.” This time it was Mr. Graber who had spoken and he moved from behind his wife and made his way towards her.
“I am truly ashamed of my actions and I have come to realize that you were a better person than I was,” he continued in remorse.
Mary was speechless. What could she say to his confession? It felt good to see him looking so abased after his pomp and pride, but in all reality it did not make her feel good to see him this uncomfortable – neither of them.
“I forgive you,” she found herself saying without hesitation and the man who had knelt beside her bed looked up in surprise.
His eyes glistened with unshed tears as was his wife’s.
“You are truly a remarkable woman, Mary,” the man replied with awe. “And I am forever in your debt for saving my son.”
At the mention of Abel her mind went to him. Where was he?
As if the man could read her thoughts he replied, “He’s outside waiting to see you.”
After thanking her once more they left and allowed their son to enter.
“Hey,” he said in a relieved voice as he came to sit on her bed.
“Hey,” she returned.
“You gave me a scare there. I thought I lost you,” he replied, his voice cracking with his vulnerability.
“Nope, I’m still here,” she replied smiling up at him.
As if unable to help himself, he bent his head and captured her lips in a soft kiss.
Even in her pained state she still felt the jolt of electricity that rushed through her at their contact.
“I’ll never let you out of my sight,” he said with conviction.
A lone tear slipped down her cheek.
“But I’m leaving,” she whispered.
“I won’t let you,” he returned, staring at her his blue eyes staring straight into her soul with their sincerity.
“I’m not good enough for you,” she choked out as the tears rushed down her cheeks.
Abel reached out and used his thumb to brush them away.
“Nothing and no one else matters but the two of us,” he said still staring at her with the same intensity.
“Do you love me?” he asked.
“Yes, I love you,” she replied.
“Then I’m asking you again to trust me. Believe me that we will make it and if anyone says otherwise you let me deal with them okay?” he asked her as she cupped her face in his hands.
She decided that she would trust him more and that she would listen to him more than anyone else. After her close encounter with death she didn’t want to live with any regrets.
She shook her head and that was the only encouragement Abel needed. He reached down once more and captured her lips in an endearing kiss.
“I am the one who doesn’t deserve you,” he whispered against her lips. “But I will spend every day of my life becoming worthy of your love. I want you as my wife.”
At this she latched her lips over his in a searing kiss. When they parted for air she said, “Then it’s time you start growing that beard.”
He graced her with his signature one hundred watt smile.
When they told the members of their respective families of their intention they all congratulated them.
Two weeks later Mary committed to the faith and she, her grandmother, her aunt and Mrs. Graber started preparing her wedding garment for November. She had originally come to Faith’s Creek to get closure but instead it revealed a whole new beginning for her. She felt like her life was just starting and she couldn’t be happier.
THE END
Book II
The Rumspringa Secret
This is it, Ruth thought as she finally summed up enough courage to pull open the wooden gate and walk up the path towards the front porch of the house she had called home for so many years. From the chipped yellow paint that clung to the wood for dear life, to the wide porch swing and rose bushes on either side of the porch steps, nothing much had changed.
As soon as she found herself on the front porch, her legs began to shake threatening to give way and send her toppling. Holding up her hand that was also shaking and unsteady, she brought it against the hard wooden door in three soft taps. It was hardly likely anyone would have heard the light knocks but she heard rustling coming from behind the closed door and before she had time to prepare herself for whoever would come through the door, it opened. Before her stood her mother; she didn’t look as if she had aged a day since the last time Ruth had seen her, albeit it had not been more than three years.
“Hello mama,” she managed to whisper to the woman whose wide blue eyes stared at her as if she were a ghost.
“Ruth?” the woman asked in a disbelieving voice as she clutched the doorjamb tightly.
“Yes mama it is me,” she confirmed with a bit of hesitation. She wasn’t certain what their reception would be and she was very much afraid they would reject her.
Without warning the woman flung her arms around a stunned Ruth who barely raised her hands to pat her back.
“My baby,” the woman cried against her neck. “I’m so happy you came back to us,” she finished.
“I’m sorry for staying away so long mama,” Ruth began to say but the woman held up her hand halting her.
“None of that matters. You are here and that is what is most important,” she said while running her hands up and down Ruth’s arms.
At this Ruth burst into tears unable to comprehend the whole situation.
“No more tears now,” she said wiping away the water running down Ruth’s face. "This is a happy time. It calls for a celebration.”
Her mother reached out for her hand and held it tightly in hers as she gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“Come,” she commanded. “Your father and siblings are in the living room, they are going to be so happy to see you.”
At the mention of her father, Ruth cringed. The last time she had seen the man, he forbade her to leave on her Rumspringa but she had been adamant that it was her right to have the freedom to choose. Although he had relented and let her leave, she knew she had hurt him deeply. She could still remember the solemn look in his blue eyes that were usually bright with humor. The grim set of his jaw had made her shudder especially when he merely inclined his head in acknowledgement of her farewell.
While she had enjoyed herself in the English world, the turmoil she had gone through the last year was not worth the freedom she had fought so fiercely for. It made her wish she had listened to him and not gone. Now that she was back, she was ready to commit to the church and to resume her life as a member of the community.
“Josef, look who is here!” Ruth’s mother called out excitedly as soon as she stepped through the door of the living room.
Her father, who currently had his head bent and reading the bible, looked up in confusion but it was quickly transformed to a look of utter shock. Slowly the man got up from the armchair and began walking towards her. Ruth’s heart beat rapidly against her chest in anticipation of his approach. Her mouth felt dry and her feet felt rooted to the spot she was standing in.
When he finally stood before her, he simply stared at her unrelentingly, his eyes giving away nothing of how he felt. Ruth’s heart was still beating hard and she was sure that it could be heard travelling a mile a minute in the quiet room.
It surprised and shocked Ruth when her father raised his hands and cupped her face between his calloused palms forcing her to stare into his deep blue eyes.
/> “Welcome home, Ruth,” he said as a broad smile crossed his lips.
She was at a loss for words. Again she had not expected this type of reaction. All she could do was shake her head as her tongue had somehow become stuck to the roof of her mouth.
When he released her face, Ruth catapulted herself into his arms without thinking.
“I’ve missed you papa,” she whispered against his shirt as he patted her head.
“And I have missed you my daughter,” he replied causing Ruth’s heart to swell to unimaginable heights. “We all have missed you,” he confirmed.
At this he pulled away from her and she was able to see her two sisters and her brother with bright smiles on their faces.
A broad smile spread across her lips and she walked towards where they sat as they stood up from the large couch. All three crowded her as they encircled her in their arms, hugging her tightly.
“We’ve missed you Ruth,” her brother Jeremiah spoke on behalf of the rest.
“I’m here now and I am never leaving again,” she assured them.
After giving each a kiss on the head, her mother escorted her up to her old room so that she could get some rest and change out of the sundress and strappy sandals she wore.
“How is Elizabeth,” her mother asked as soon as she closed the door to her room.
“She is fine, mama. She sends her love as there is nothing else you would accept,” Ruth replied.
At this a dark shadow came over her mother’s clear green eyes before she shook her head, dispelling whatever troubling thoughts had just invaded her mind.
“That’s good to know,” her mother said in a tone that could only be described as ending the conversation. She began busying herself with changing the sheets on the bed and opening the window to let in the cool breeze blowing outside.
Ruth understood and she sympathized with her mother. She knew she probably wanted to know more about her sister who had abandoned the church and community more than two decades ago but it was prohibited. The only way there would ever be acceptable communication between the two was if Elizabeth chose to come home and recommit to the church.