Wallflowers: One Heart Remains

by CP Smith

  “One minute at a time,” I repeated.

  “You sure you’re okay to drive in your—” Cali began, but her voice trailed off, looking at something over my shoulder. I turned to make sure my father wasn’t trying to follow me. Thankfully he wasn’t, but Nate was heading straight for us. For me, it seemed, if the determination in his eyes was anything to go by.

  My heart tripped a beat at all that alpha male manliness bearing down on me. His size never ceased to give me pause. Taller than Devin and Bo, he easily stood six and a half feet tall. His muscles were well-defined, but not overly bulky like a bodybuilder, and coupled with his shoulder-length dark hair and dark eyes, the whole package screamed sex. Sex and strength. Everything about him said he could protect himself. Could defend anyone he cared about, and a secret part of me wanted to be the woman all that focus was directed at. But my practical side knew I was too emotionally screwed up for any man, especially one like Nate. Someone who’d overcome a life of poverty to make something of himself. A man who was confident, secure in himself—unlike me. I was too scarred from my childhood to maintain any type of relationship with a man. He’d see the real me if he got too close. Know I wasn’t worth the trouble. I was insecure on a good day and just this side of crazy on a bad day. And men didn’t like crazy. He’d figure out what a pain in the patootie I was. That I was an Ice Princess just like Blake had said. Then he’d head straight for the hills, leaving me broken once again.

  My head tilted back when he stopped in front of me. He was more than a foot taller than me in my bare feet. Just another reason I should let go of any fantasy where he was concerned. I’d get a crick in my neck, looking up at him all the time. He needed an Amazon woman who could stand eye to chin with him, instead of eye to sternum. Talk about an odd couple.

  “Baby . . .” That name. The tone of his deep voice, whispering it like I meant something to him, would be my undoing.

  “What?” The question came out breathless, announcing how much his closeness and that endearment affected me. My shields were down from all the garbage swirling around me. I needed time alone to sort through my life so I could build my walls back up. As it stood now, he’d see right inside me to the very depths of my soul.

  Quick as lightning, Nate raised both hands to my face and leaned his forehead against mine. I was so stunned—I didn’t move. Didn’t dare breathe out of fear all my secrets would spill from my mouth.

  “I’m gonna fix this.” His vow was angry, resolute.

  I blinked. “Fix what?”

  He stroked the apple of my cheek, his attention following his thumb as it slid across my skin, then his eyes came back to mine and they softened. I tried to swallow my reaction. Having Nate this close was deadly.

  “Fix what your father broke,” he whispered, his focus dropping to my mouth.

  Unconsciously my hands came up and wrapped around his wrists, steadying me where I stood. Tears began to pool in my eyes. I hadn’t hidden quickly enough. He could see my soul; knew I was shattered into a million pieces.

  “Why?” I finally found my voice, though it trembled with the loss of control my life had taken. “Why do you need to fix it?”

  I had no time to react. No time to prepare for his answer, to build up walls to protect myself before his mouth slammed over mine.

  Instinct kicked in when faced with the unimaginable, so instead of pushing Nate away to guard my heart, I opened automatically to the assault on my mouth and drank in his strength. Nate kissed like he lived each day of his life. Possessively. Dominantly. Thoroughly in control. And the scared child who lived inside me, who’d cowered in the dark when she heard the dragon approach her bedroom door, welcomed handing over the reins.

  When he fisted my hair and tugged my head to the side, so he could deepen the kiss, I let him. When his steel-like arm wrapped around my back and held me close to his hard body, I melted into it and drowned in the feeling of being safe for once. If I could have burrowed under his skin so he’d always protect me, I would have done so. I was exhausted. Tired of putting on a brave face. Defeated by my circumstances.

  As quickly as he’d kissed me, Nate ripped his mouth away and placed his forehead back on mine. “Now do you get why? Because you’re mine, and I take care of what’s mine.”

  My head shook rapidly in response. I couldn’t let him in. Couldn’t risk having him in my life, only to lose him when he found out how messed up I was. “I’m not yours.”

  His eyes flashed with anger, the brown deepening to almost black with his mood. “You’re mine, and you fuckin’ know it. If you try fightin’ this, I’ll just wear you down until I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.”

  I couldn’t help myself; curiosity killed the cat and all. “And where’s that exactly?”

  Straight-faced and bold as you please, he stated, “Watchin’ my cock fill this luscious body, all while makin’ sure you feel cherished and protected,” before running his hand to my ass and squeezing once to make his point.

  Cali and Sienna both gasped in unison, then one of them whispered, “That’s so stinkin’ hot.”

  “Oh, yeah, very Feral Sins by Suzanne Wright,” the other replied.

  Leave it to a Wallflower to come up with a book reference when my life was falling apart. God, I loved those women.

  “You’ve obviously confused me with someone who cares what you want,” was all my stupefied brain could come up with on short notice, such was my reaction to his lust-inducing words. How many times had I read the same thing in a romance novel? Then drooled over the wicked-tongued hero, wishing a man would sweep me off my feet and utter those same naughty, dirty words to me. Make me feel warm between my legs instead of cold as ice?

  The hand at my ass cupped me harder, bringing my attention back to the matter at hand. “Knowin’ exactly what I’ve wanted, exactly what you’ve wanted since you stuck your finger in my face and slurred dilligaf, is not confusion. It’s a fuckin’ fact.”

  “Again, you’re wrong, Nate. I was drunk. Hence, you don’t affect me at all.”

  I tried to wipe my face clean of the lust that surely shined through. I went for indifference. Boredom. But it ended up making him smile. Gah, I had to work on my resting b-face!

  “You know I’m right.” Nate smiled, and it hit me directly in the chest. The dang man was potent with charm when he put his mind to it. Or when he entered a room. Or, say, sneezed.

  “Kitten?” Nate gave me a tiny squeeze to capture my wandering attention.

  That was the third time he’d called me Kitten. I couldn’t handle that endearment any more than I could handle baby. It felt like we had a future together when I knew better.

  “Stop callin’ me Kitten.” He pulled me closer and cupped my cheek, running his thumb across my skin again. It felt nice, dang him!

  “Fiery attitude. Hisses at anyone who dares come too close. Skin so soft I want to run my hands all over your body until you’re moanin’ my name . . . You’re my Kitten.”

  Oh. My. God.

  How do I protect myself from a full-frontal attack like this? Kick him? Declare myself insane and spend the rest of my days in a mental asylum? Tempting, but no! The easiest way to protect myself was to disappear until all my problems went away! A few years should work. I could disguise myself. Buy one of those huge U-Haul boxes and set up house near the river with the vagrants. Maybe learn how to panhandle! I wonder if they have a big enough box for my books?

  His hand curled around my throat, just under my chin, and he tipped my head back as I was deciding which books I couldn’t live without. “You keep fightin’ me, it’ll just delay the inevitable.”

  I recognized the determination in his jaw. Knew he wouldn’t let this drop until I gave in, and I needed time to come up with a plan, because I wasn’t sure I could live on the streets without all my books.

  “Fine, you win,” I mumbled, hoping he’d let it drop so I could sneak away. A few days without me in his presence might give him time to realize the error of h
is ways. He was feeling protective because of what happened with my father. I didn’t need a box just yet, all I needed to do was pull myself together and prove I was fine. He’d let me walk away without a fight, once he realized I didn’t need rescuing.

  Nate smiled down at me, pleased with my acquiescence. It was a devilish, body-shivering smile. A smile that could melt your bones and chase away any lingering doubts you had about a man’s intention.

  After a full-body shiver, the first I ever remember having, Nate leaned down the foot it took to reach my mouth and capture my lips again. “Good girl,” he praised, rewarding me for not fighting him. “Give me a minute, then we’ll leave. I have a few things to say to your father.”

  I nodded instead of arguing with him about speaking with my father. I didn’t want Nate anywhere near him, didn’t want him to see how screwed up my family was, but it was only a matter of time before he figured that out, so I let him. At least with him inside the house I could escape.

  He kissed my forehead, lingering there a beat longer than was necessary, before turning on his heel and walking back inside the house. It was the sweetest kiss I’d ever had. A kiss that spoke of tenderness and comfort. The type of kiss that would be my undoing if I didn’t get the hell out of there immediately.

  The minute he closed the door behind him, I spun around and ran to my car, tears flowing freely for yet another loss. My fantasies about Nate were just that: dreams that weren’t supposed to come true, only keep the loneliness at bay. Yet, for the first time in my life, after being wrapped in Nate’s arms, I knew for a fact that reality beat out any dream. And I desperately wanted it. Wanted it more than the air I breathed, but he’d see all my broken parts, see how messed up I was, and figure out I wasn’t salvageable.

  “Wait,” Sienna called out. “Where are you goin’?”

  I climbed into my car and tried to start it, but my hand shook too much. “I can’t do this. I can’t do any of this,” I cried out through the open window. “I’ve got three days of vacation left, and I’m takin’ them away from here.”

  My door opened with a jerk, and Cali started shoving at me to scoot over into the passenger seat. “Rule number one, Poppy. Never leave a Wallflower behind,” she stated. “So move over, we’re comin’ with you, whether you want us to or not.”

  Sienna jumped into the back of my car, slamming the door shut. It was like déjà vu. It had only been a week since our fast and furious chase from a criminal through Savannah. Except for this time, Nate was the bad guy trying to steal my heart, and I couldn’t let him have it.

  “Go, go, go,” I begged. “Before Nate figures out I’m leavin’.”

  Cali shot me a strange look. “Why are you runnin’ from Nate? I doubt he’d hurt you like that jerk Blake did.”

  No, he wouldn’t hurt me, he’d destroy me when he tried to leave.

  “I can’t think about that right now. I need time alone to sort out my life,” I whined like a twelve-year-old who’d been grounded from her phone. “Just drop me off someplace I can’t be found. Like the library or somethin’.”

  Sienna snorted as she sent a text, no doubt to Bo. “That’d be the first place I’d look. Besides, you need to have it out with Nate, not run away. Let’s just head to the bar. A couple of drinks will calm your nerves.”

  “Explain why you want to be alone?” Cali questioned, driving like a mad woman with a purpose, God bless her. “I learned the hard way that the worst thing you can do is bottle up everything you’re feelin’.”

  The list was so long my head began to hurt. I couldn’t pin down a single thought to explain how messed up I was, so it all came rushing out in a wail of sound that would horrify any self-respecting Wallflower. “My mother’s dead. My grandfather killed her. The woman who raised me is my aunt. My father chose revenge over me, leavin’ me alone to fend off creepy old guys. And Nate will walk away the moment he realizes what a complete flake I am. So just drive, all right? I need time to figure out how to handle all the shite swirlin’ around me before I lose my mind and do somethin’ stupid like jump into bed with him.”

  Cali glanced at me with an odd look. “Did you just say shite?”

  “It sounds less offensive than the other, and I’m in no mood to watch my language.”

  Sienna’s phone buzzed in her hand. I looked between them, begging with my eyes for them to understand. To not turn me over to Nate before I had time to pull myself together. Sienna pulled her wide, shell-shocked eyes from mine to look at the screen. “It’s Bo. I told him we’re goin’ to the bar.”

  “I’m not goin’ to the bar where Nate will be, are you nuts?”

  My constant and irritating companion—called anxiety and in some cases panic—was my only excuse for what I did next. I knew I’d have a full-blown panic attack if I didn’t gain some semblance of control, so I reached over the seat and grabbed her phone. Then I threw it out the window. Into the Savannah River.

  Cali gasped, her eyes widening at my open window. We both looked at her phone sitting on the seat and lunged for it. I was quicker than she was and threw it out the window before she could pull off the road and stop me. It landed with a splash along with Sienna’s in the marsh waters near the river’s edge.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Sienna asked very cautiously.

  “You’re both mated to Neanderthal lawmen who can trace a phone with their eyes closed. They’ll find us.” My phone buzzed in my back pocket, so I pulled it out. It was Nate. Just like the other two phones, I threw it in the water. It hit with a satisfying plop.

  Cali’s face softened in response. “You’re that freaked out about Nate findin’ you?”

  I shook my head, but tears began to fall again, evidence of my unspoken lie. “I just need a minute to catch my breath.”

  Cali looked over her shoulder at Sienna. “Are you okay with radio silence?”

  Sienna didn’t hesitate to answer. “If Poppy needs us, then they’ll just have to deal. Besides, I wouldn’t want a man who can’t understand your friends and family sometimes need you more than they do for a short time.”

  A knot formed in my throat then burned its way into my chest, warming me from the inside out. Once again it hit me; I wasn’t alone in the world anymore. I had a sister.

  I looked at Cali and saw love and acceptance shining in her eyes as well. I had two sisters, if truth be told.

  “Then I guess we’re headed to Tybee Island for a few days of fun, sun, and no men,” Cali announced. “Family means everything to me, and you’re both an honorary Armstrong now. Devin will just have to understand.”

  I reached out both my hands, grabbing one of Cali’s and one Sienna’s over the seat. These women meant the world to me.

  “You’re sisters of my heart, and my blood,” I announced. “I love you more than words can express.”

  Cali’s lips trembled slightly. “Wallflowers forever.”

  “’Til death do us part,” Sienna finished, holding up a bottle of green magic fairy potion.

  My eyes widened. “Do you carry that with you everywhere?”

  “For medicinal purposes, of course,” Cali snorted, then put the car in drive.

  “We should call the guys from that gas station up ahead and let them know they won’t be able to reach us,” Sienna said, pointing up the road at a Quick Stop.

  Cali nodded and hooked a right at the next corner, pulling in. “We need gas anyway.”

  “What about clothes?” Sienna asked.

  “I have a full closet at the cottage. We’re all set, except food.”

  Climbing out of the car, I popped the lid on my gas tank and grabbed a hose. Cali swiped her card at the pump, and it hit me there were more ways than one to track someone. “We can’t use our cards once we leave town or they’ll find us.”

  Cali looked at her card and nodded. “Good catch, I’d never have thought of that.”

  “Karen Rose novels are a wealth of information.”

  “I love her,” Sienna threw
out. “She definitely does her research before writing a book. I just finished the Phoenix Pack Series by Suzanne Wright, if knowin’ about wolf shifters helps us in any way.”

  Now I knew who’d whispered about Nate sounding like Trey from Feral Sins.

  “You know,” she went on, “Nate reminds me a lot of the shifters in those books. Once they made their minds up about a mate, there was no stoppin’ them.”

  “Good thing books aren’t based in reality then,” I mumbled, trying to ignore the spark of excitement her words caused, then turned to hit the gas station for provisions. It was only a twenty-minute drive to Tybee Island without traffic, but no self-respecting road trip was complete without beef jerky. Or gummy bears. Oh! Pork rinds.

  As I exited the store with my provisions, I heard the rumble of familiar pipes heading our direction and dashed to the car. “Get in, Nate’s comin’ this way.”

  The girls climbed in quickly, and Cali started the car. “How do you know it’s Nate?”

  “His bike makes a distinctive noise when he guns it. I heard him drive down the street early this morning. And one time in the middle of the night.”

  A car pulled up to the pump across from us, blocking our view of the street and us from Nate. A few seconds later, just as I knew he would, Nate blew past on his Harley, followed by Devin and Bo in his truck. A moment after that, my father drove by on his Harley. None of them looked our direction as they cruised by, so I released my breath in a whoosh.

  “Drive to the other side of town before callin’ Bo or Devin. That way if they trace the call, they’ll think we’re headed up to Charleston or somethin’.”

  Cali snorted in amusement, then put the car in drive. “You should work for Devin. You’re as paranoid as he is.”

  “I’m desperate, not paranoid.”

  “Poppy?” Sienna called out. I turned in my seat and looked at her. Her brows were pulled low in a frown, and she was working her lips between her teeth. “What did you mean by fending off creepy old guys?”