The Dream Sifter (The Depths of Memory Book 1)

by Bundy, Candice

  "Anyway, men only go in for two, maybe three days at a stretch. Some men are then called back after their initial round, while others don't. I'm not sure why this is, and when it comes to the Temple, believe me I don't ask. Not that the men ever have any complaints, mind you. In fact, according to the drunken bragging I hear around the bar at night, the more times you're called the better--or at least the more the manlier, if you catch my drift?"

  "Yeah, I think I do. How juvenile."

  "Hey, a good number of fertile women flaunt their stars too, so it's not just a man thing. Anyway, Stoi hastened off to the Temple to serve his time, no problem. Three days passed, then four, and still no Stoi. Shipments started piling up and being delayed and Kait got understandably anxious. So Kait sends one of the butlers to the Temple to inquire when they'd be releasing him."

  Jesse paused to refill their wine glasses. "Nectar of the gods, sis. Never doubt it." Rai hadn't even noticed they were empty, as she was so engrossed in Jesse's story.

  "The Temple said he was receiving medical treatment for injuries sustained while under their care and they expected him to return home in another week or two." Jesse drew a finger down her face, mimicking the line of Stoi's scar.

  Cold fingers of fear radiated from the center of Rai's chest. "That's it? That was their explanation? That scar runs almost the entire length of his face! What could he have been doing in the Temple that would have caused that kind of an injury?"

  "The official word from the Temple was that he'd suffered an accident, and that they were doing their best to treat him. Nothing more. Stoi returned home two weeks later. You think that scar looks bad now? There aren't words for how it looked the day he walked in the door. The initial cut must have sliced down to the bone! That's why the scar is still so purple, so vivid, it's like it happened yesterday." Jesse sat back in her chair.

  "Did Stoi ever talk about what he remembered of his accident?"

  "That was the most eerie part, the way he always refused to talk about it. The Temple has laws against talking to anyone about their experiences while in Temple service. You wouldn't think that someone who'd just had his face sliced in two, courtesy of the Temple, would be real respectful of Temple law, right?"

  Rai shook her head, unable to believe what she was hearing.

  "Yet Stoi's never said a word to anyone but Laan. When Laan asked him about it, maybe a week after he got back from the Temple Stoi raged about how Laan should mind his own business. Believe that? Stoi raging at Laan?"

  "Was that the end of it?"

  "Not entirely. Laan kept right on pushing, offended Stoi wouldn't tell him. They're best friends after all. Eventually Stoi admitted that he didn't remember the details clearly, but he swore to Laan that he'd been attacked by a monster!"

  "A monster? In the Temple?"

  "Yeah, I found it pretty hard to believe myself. I mean, someone besides Stoi would have reported something, wouldn't you think? Anyway, Stoi's story astounded Laan and he pressed for specific details on the alleged 'monster' but Stoi couldn't recall anything more about the beast or the supposed attack resulting in his injury. He said he couldn't remember clearly and then just stormed off. Laan never got any more details out of him. Was it real or hallucinations due to fever? We'll never know.

  "Personally, I suspect the Temple somehow wiped the experience, whatever it was, from his mind. The Temple Healer warned us that he might be a bit fuzzy due to his 'head trauma' as she called it. What better way to avoid answering for your mistakes? No memory, no answers."

  "So, that's why Stoi is so suspicious of my amnesia, and is convinced the Temple is at fault."

  Jesse nodded. "Precisely. Stoi won't go near any Temple now unless he has to. He sends staff members to make any deliveries to the Temple, and I think he'd die before he'd do Temple service if they ever called him again, not that they would at his age. So if Stoi appears a little ... distrustful when it comes to Temple dealings, now you know why."

  "This is amazing. I appreciate you confiding in me."

  "No problem. Better you hear it from me than from Laan or someone else. Just remember, you didn't hear it from me."

  "I understand," Rai agreed. "I guess sleeping in wasn't such a bad thing after all. At least I didn't get the chance to make a fool of myself asking Stoi about the scar."

  "I agree, it's better you heard it from me."

  Rai's chest constricted, but she forced the next words out of her mouth. "Since we're on the topic of forbidden subjects, can I ask how your period of Temple Service passed?"

  Dark shadows gathered in Jesse's eyes. "Sure. Why not?" She took a long drink, draining her glass. "As I've said, my time there was blessedly short due to my infertility. Sadly, unlike you, I remember everything all too well."

  The anxiety in her chest slipped and plummeted like a rock into her stomach. "What do you mean?"

  "You understand our time of Service is just a glorified term for breeding, right?" Rai nodded, albeit slowly. "When I was summoned to serve, I knew what to expect, more or less. No girl knows the specifics going into the Temple. Anyway, I got there, and a Temple Apprentice placed me in a crèche. I woke up after some indeterminate period, and a different Apprentice led me off into this quiet, dark little room. She gave me a special medicinal, telling me the time would pass more quickly for me. I got very relaxed after taking it. I about passed out on the bed. She was wrong--I remembered everything." A look of disgust passed over her face, her downturned lips forming a sneer.

  "What do you mean?" Rai's brows rose. Torn between needing to know and demanding her sister quit the chilling tale, she refilled Jesse's glass.

  "To this day, I remember each of the three times they tried to get me pregnant. My memories of lying there while a man whose face I didn't recognize used me while I watched, barely able to move, have been etched into my brain forever." Her eyes, glistening with moisture, held one emotion. Rage.

  "I don't understand," Rai replied softly. "Why did they drug you?"

  "For a while I thought they didn't want me to remember what had happened. Not that I'd care about the specifics, I mean, we all know we're there to produce children. I think all girls, going into Service, know what's expected of them." Jesse took a long drink, the banked anger in her eyes simmering beneath the surface.

  "With the technology available to the Temples, why even involve sex? They could reduce the process to a series of clinical steps, and the partners involved would never need to meet."

  "I suppose they could, but you forget, sis, our societal hatred of technology--using the crèches during gestation might be pushing the boundaries far enough. On the other hand, perhaps it's too expensive, or takes too much time. Who knows? The men in service with me spoke in slurred words, so no doubt they'd had the same drink, or one like it?

  "Still, what you're describing ... it's barbaric, Jesse."

  Jesse rubbed her forehead with her fingers. "Sure, the drugging is weird, but it's not what I'm getting at. I assumed I couldn't talk about who I'd been paired with--it made the most sense at the time." She shook her head, frustration pouring off her in waves. "No, there was more to it. From the time I stepped out of the crèche the first time until I left the Temple, the most bizarre sensations built inside of me."

  "What do you mean?"

  Jesse's expression pleaded with her to understand, the frustration plain in her eyes. "I felt anger. The medicinals they gave me calmed me down, they helped, but over the few days and weeks they had me awake I developed this hatred of everyone around me. It's completely unlike me to behave that way."

  "How bad did it get?"

  "I remember lashing out at one of the Journeywomen, I think I hurt her arm, but it's not altogether clear. They had me so drugged up, I'm not certain. After that they sent me home, declared barren."

  "Were you still angry?"

  "No, that's the weirdest thing. I came out of the crèche the final time, happy and carefree. I have no idea what got into me while I stayed at the T
emple." Her frown intensified until her brows almost touched.

  "I have to say I'm with Stoi on this one," Rai sighed. "Something isn't right in the Temples. Be glad you've done your Service and you're free of them. For my time there, Apprentice Mala had some secret, and I'll never know why she drugged me either."

  Both quieted for a moment. Once again, the depth of their connection moved Rai. They complemented each other well. Satisfaction washed over her, and for the first time since her awakening, she suspected she might actually fit in here. She almost felt home.

  The front door opened and all sound ceased in the room. As she and Jesse turned simultaneously to look, she understood why. A Guardian closed the door behind him and looked around the room. Rai felt the tension in the room wick through like sparks from a fire.

  He withdrew a device from his belt, and walked around the hall, passing it over at each individual as he neared. Rai recognized both the device and the Guardian using it. It was the same Guardian from their journey, and the device was the plague detector he'd used on the dead swamp deer. Each person he scanned breathed a sigh of relief after he'd moved on. Rai wondered if this was a common occurrence or something out of the ordinary. She had no way to know without asking Jesse, but didn't want to bring it up while the Guardian was still in the building.

  The Guardian approached their alcove table and stopped in front of Rai. He leveled his device at her and passed his hand over it. When he lingered for longer than the usual moment, Rai realized something was wrong. This Guardian was with me yesterday. He knows I'm clean. What gives? The Guardian locked her in an icy stare for a few seconds, and turned his attention to Jesse.

  "Jesse Durmah?" the Guardian asked, placing his device back inside his cloak.

  "The same. You need a room?" Jesse offered. The Guardian did not appear amused.

  "You have the flu. You'll have to come with me to the Temple so the Healers can treat you."

  "Are you sure? I feel fine." Jesse voice trembled, but rose to follow him.

  "The bio-scans don't lie. Left untreated, the flu will reduce your ability to fight off the plague. We don't want that, do we?" Did she detect sarcasm in his voice?

  Jesse let out a resigned sigh. "No, or course not." She looked at Rai. "How long will this take? I do have a Waystation to run here."

  "That's up to the Temple healers, not me. From your bio-scan, I should think an overnight stay at the Temple should be sufficient."

  Jesse frowned. Turning to Rai, she shrugged. "Well, Sis, I guess it's all yours." The Guardian cleared his throat.

  "Okay. I'm sure we'll do just fine," Rai replied, trying to display a confidence she didn't yet feel.

  Jesse took her hand and gripped it firmly. "You'll be fine, Rai, I promise. Hilse will take good care of you. I'll be back before you know it."

  Now there's a laugh. Jesse comforts me while being dragged off by a Guardian. Rai managed a slight smile, though she now felt sick to her stomach.

  Jesse reciprocated the smile, though it lacked the confidence Rai had come to expect. "See you tomorrow." She walked out the door with the Guardian in tow.

  We both hope, Rai thought soberly.

  Hilse emerged from the kitchen and hurried over to the alcove table where Rai sat. "Where did he take Jesse?" The other diners kept glancing over in their direction.

  "The Guardian is taking Jesse to the Temple Healers for flu treatment. She should be back sometime tomorrow." She wished she could be more certain of that herself.

  Hilse relaxed and adjusted her hair, pulling it back loosely into a long braid. "We'd best get busy. There's much to do around here. You're Mistress Rai, are you not?"

  Rai nodded. "It's good to meet you. I presume you're the Head Steward Hilse?"

  "That I am. Come on, I have quite a bit to show you!" Rai didn't doubt it.

  "Indeed. First, can you get me a journal of some kind, one I can take notes in as you show me things?"

  "There's an extra in the kitchen office. Right this way." Rai arose and followed Hilse.

  Rai's head spun as they walked to the kitchen. Everything had been in control an hour ago. Now she'd have to endure her first day at the Waystation without Jesse.

  It just doesn't pay to get too comfortable.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  After a full day of training under Hilse's expert tutelage, Rai relaxed behind the bar, surveying the empty dining hall. Now in the wee hours of the morning, Hilse and the other staff had long since gone to bed and Rai sat finishing notes in her journal.

  The last guest had retired not long after dinner, leading Rai to wonder if Jesse's claim that the Waystation was busy at all hours was valid. Setting the journal aside, Rai wished for something, anything, to happen to take her mind off the boredom. She'd need to ask Jesse what she did to entertain herself through the long nights.

  The faint sound of a wagon pulling into the stable yard broke her train of thought. Shoving her journal into a cubby behind the bar, Rai strode to the stable yard, glad for the distraction.

  Rai opened the door and a lean yet muscular, plainly dressed man was unhitching two tan horses from his wagon. The dim light emanating from the single wall torch in the stable was insufficient to reveal the man's features, apart from his short, sandy blonde hair, so Rai lit two more torches and placed them in sconces along the wall. Now she saw him more clearly, with her immediate attention drawn to the wagon. Whereas the Durmah wagons were plain on the outside, this one was colorfully painted, and Rai made out ornate carvings in the wood. This wagon was so much more ornate from the Durmah wagons she'd seen, so she knew this must belong to the Tinker Stoi and Jesse had mentioned, although she couldn't quite remember his name. The man finished unhitching his horses, and now his attention turned to her.

  "Well, well, well," he said, looking at her with a rakish smirk, his gaze openly roving. "I know I would have remembered if I'd met you before. You must be new girl." Rai moved to take the horses into the stable, as Hilse had trained her that afternoon. He kept the reins on one of the horses, indicating they'd take care of one each.

  "Yes. My name is Rai. Jesse said we should expect you." Rai wished she could remember his name, but dared not ask lest she offend the Tinker. They each walked a horse to an open stall in the stable, neither of them speaking for several seconds. She felt the heat of his gaze as they walked.

  "Ah, so she's been telling stories about me?"

  "No, I mean I know a little about you, but not much. I've only been here for a short time myself. How long will you be staying with us?"

  He sighed. "Just overnight, I'm afraid. Time waits for no one, least of all travelers."

  "No, I suppose not." Rai frowned. Stoi had asked Jesse to speak to the Tinker about any other recent cases of amnesia the man may have heard about. Stoi couldn't have foreseen the Tinker would be back this way again so quickly, and that the two might not even get an opportunity to talk. He caught her frown and frowned back at her, and Rai laughed. After they finished brushing the horses down, Rai walked out of the stable, wondering how Stoi and Jesse would want her to handle the situation. He finished not long after Rai and joined her near the wagon.

  "Thanks for helping me with the horses, Rai. Is Jesse awake tonight? I should talk to her before I head out in the morning."

  "Actually, Jesse's in the hospice with the flu at the moment," Rai explained. At this, he raised an eyebrow in concern. "Don't worry. She wasn't even sick when she left. She should be back tomorrow afternoon, but I'm afraid you won't have a chance to speak with her if you leave early tomorrow."

  "Well, that's a relief. I'd never hear the end of it if I don't stay and say hello to her, so I guess I'm here until then."

  "Are you hungry at all? I can get you something to eat?"

  "Yes, I'm famished. You can survive on jerky and dried fruits for only so long." They entered the dining hall and he looked around. "So, you're new on the job and Jesse leaves you with the night shift? That hardly seems fair."

  "
Well, Jesse wanted me cross-trained in all areas. A trial by fire, I guess you might say. I have no complaints." Rai felt somehow at ease with this man, though she wasn't sure why.

  He laughed. "That sounds like Jesse all right."

  Rai motioned to the table closest the bar. "Have a seat, and I'll get you some real food." She walked toward the kitchen door and glanced up at the mirrored wall behind the bar to her left. He watched her walking away with blatant interest. His eyes traveled down her legs, and an electric thrill ran through her.

  Rai swallowed hard as she entered the kitchen. She filled two bowls with stew from a large pot on the stove, and placed them on a tray along with two wine glasses. As she opened the door to return, Rai blew out a long breath before returning to the dining hall. Perhaps she'd misread his look, or was she truly that attractive to him?

  She walked by the bar on the way to his table and grabbed a bottle of wine, deftly balancing the tray in her other hand. He warmly regarded her as she approached. She placed the bowl in front of him, poured the wine, and took the seat across from him.

  "Mmmm, venison stew and wine! How can I repay you this fine hospitality?"

  Rai laughed. "Think nothing of it. I'd consider it a great favor, though, if you'd tell me a little about Kiya's Grace. I'm new here, and I haven't had much time to get familiar with the place."

  "Say no more, my lady! You are looking at the eyes and ears of this city." He winked at her conspiratorially. He regaled her with all things Kiya's Grace, from the layout of the city, to the people, the Temple, all of it. He even covered the politics, right down to the recent feuds over water rights in the farmlands surrounding the city walls. Rai grew more and more comfortable with him as the morning hours drifted by, and she was amazed he'd discuss the city with her in depth when he so obviously was in need of rest.

  "So where do you hail from? A great distance, if this is your first time in the city."