Delphi Complete Works of O. Henry
Page 258
AN AFTERNOON MIRACLE
AN APOLOGY
AN UNFINISHED CHRISTMAS STORY
AN UNFINISHED STORY
ARISTOCRACY VERSUS HASH
ART AND THE BRONCO
AT ARMS WITH MORPHEUS
BABES IN THE JUNGLE
BENTON SHARP MEETS HIS MATCH
BEST-SELLER
BETWEEN ROUNDS
BEXAR SCRIP NO. 2692
BLIND MAN’S HOLIDAY
BRICKDUST ROW
BULGER’S FRIEND
BURIED TREASURE
BY COURIER
CALLOWAY’S CODE
CAUGHT
CHERCHEZ LA FEMME
CHRISTMAS BY INJUNCTION
COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON
CONFESSIONS OF A HUMORIST
CONSCIENCE IN ART
CUPID A LA CARTE
CUPID’S EXILE NUMBER TWO
DICKY
DOUGHERTY’S EYE-OPENER
ELSIE IN NEW YORK
EXTRADITED FROM BOHEMIA
FICKLE FORTUNE OR HOW GLADYS HUSTLED
FOX-IN-THE-MORNING
FRIENDS IN SAN ROSARIO
FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY
FROM THE CABBY’S SEAT
GEORGIA’S RULING
GIRL
HE ALSO SERVES
HEARTS AND CROSSES
HEARTS AND HANDS
HELPING THE OTHER FELLOW
HOLDING UP A TRAIN
HOSTAGES TO MOMUS
HYGEIA AT THE SOLITO
INNOCENTS OF BROADWAY
JEFF PETERS AS A PERSONAL MAGNET
JIMMY HAYES AND MURIEL
LAW AND ORDER
LET ME FEEL YOUR PULSE
LITTLE SPECK IN GARNERED FRUIT
LORD OAKHURST’S CURSE
LOST ON DRESS PARADE
MADAME BO-PEEP, OF THE RANCHES
MAKES THE WHOLE WORLD KIN
MAMMON AND THE ARCHER
MAN ABOUT TOWN
MASTERS OF ARTS
MEMOIRS OF A YELLOW DOG
MODERN RURAL SPORTS
MONEY MAZE
NEMESIS AND THE CANDY MAN
NEW YORK BY CAMP FIRE LIGHT
NEXT TO READING MATTER
NO STORY
OCTOBER AND JUNE
ON BEHALF OF THE MANAGEMENT
ONE DOLLAR’S WORTH
ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS
OUT OF NAZARETH
PAST ONE AT ROONEY’S
PHŒBE
PROOF OF THE PUDDING
PSYCHE AND THE PSKYSCRAPER
QUERIES AND ANSWERS
ROADS OF DESTINY
ROSES, RUSES AND ROMANCE
ROUGE ET NOIR
ROUND THE CIRCLE
RUS IN URBE
SCHOOLS AND SCHOOLS
SEATS OF THE HAUGHTY
SHEARING THE WOLF
SHIPS
SHOES
SISTERS OF THE GOLDEN CIRCLE
SMITH
SOCIOLOGY IN SERGE AND STRAW
SOUND AND FURY
SPRINGTIME À LA CARTE
SQUARING THE CIRCLE
STRICTLY BUSINESS
SUITE HOMES AND THEIR ROMANCE
SUPPLY AND DEMAND
TELEMACHUS, FRIEND
THE ADMIRAL
THE ADVENTURES OF SHAMROCK JOLNES
THE ASSESSOR OF SUCCESS
THE ATAVISM OF JOHN TOM LITTLE BEAR
THE BADGE OF POLICEMAN O’ROON
THE BRIEF DÉBUT OF TILDY
THE BUYER FROM CACTUS CITY
THE CABALLERO’S WAY
THE CACTUS
THE CALIPH AND THE CAD
THE CALIPH, CUPID AND THE CLOCK
THE CALL OF THE TAME
THE CHAIR OF PHILANTHROMATHEMATICS
THE CHAMPION OF THE WEATHER
THE CHURCH WITH AN OVERSHOT-WHEEL
THE CITY OF DREADFUL NIGHT
THE CLARION CALL
THE COMING-OUT OF MAGGIE
THE COMPLETE LIFE OF JOHN HOPKINS
THE COP AND THE ANTHEM
THE COUNT AND THE WEDDING GUEST
THE COUNTRY OF ELUSION
THE CRUCIBLE
THE DAY RESURGENT
THE DAY WE CELEBRATE
THE DEFEAT OF THE CITY
THE DETECTIVE DETECTOR
THE DIAMOND OF KALI
THE DISCOUNTERS OF MONEY
THE DOG AND THE PLAYLET
THE DOOR OF UNREST
THE DREAM
THE DUEL
THE DUPLICITY OF HARGRAVES
THE EASTER OF THE SOUL
THE ELUSIVE TENDERLOIN
THE EMANCIPATION OF BILLY
THE ENCHANTED KISS
THE ENCHANTED PROFILE
THE ETHICS OF PIG
THE EXACT SCIENCE OF MATRIMONY
THE FERRY OF UNFULFILMENT
THE FIFTH WHEEL
THE FLAG PARAMOUNT
THE FOOL-KILLER
THE FOREIGN POLICY OF COMPANY 99
THE FOURTH IN SALVADOR
THE FRIENDLY CALL
THE FURNISHED ROOM
THE GIFT OF THE MAGI
THE GIRL AND THE GRAFT
THE GIRL AND THE HABIT
THE GOLD THAT GLITTERED
THE GREATER CONEY
THE GREEN DOOR
THE GUARDIAN OF THE ACCOLADE
THE GUILTY PARTY
THE HALBERDIER OF THE LITTLE RHEINSCHLOSS
THE HAND THAT RILES THE WORLD
THE HANDBOOK OF HYMEN
THE HARBINGER
THE HEAD-HUNTER
THE HIDING OF BLACK BILL
THE HIGHER ABDICATION
THE HIGHER PRAGMATISM
THE HYPOTHESES OF FAILURE
THE INDIAN SUMMER OF DRY VALLEY JOHNSON
THE LADY HIGHER UP
THE LAST LEAF
THE LAST OF THE TROUBADOURS
THE LEFT BRANCH
THE LONESOME ROAD
THE LOST BLEND
THE LOTUS AND THE BOTTLE
THE LOVE-PHILTRE OF IKEY SCHOENSTEIN
THE MAIN ROAD
THE MAKING OF A NEW YORKER
THE MAN HIGHER UP
THE MARIONETTES
THE MARQUIS AND MISS SALLY
THE MARRY MONTH OF MAY
THE MEMENTO
THE MISSING CHORD
THE MOMENT OF VICTORY
THE OCTOPUS MAROONED
THE ONE: A FOG IN SANTONE
THE OTHER: A MEDLEY OF MOODS
THE PASSING OF BLACK EAGLE
THE PENDULUM
THE PHONOGRAPH AND THE GRAFT
THE PIMIENTA PANCAKES
THE PLUTONIAN FIRE
THE POET AND THE PEASANT
THE PRIDE OF THE CITIES
THE PRINCESS AND THE PUMA
THE PRISONER OF ZEMBLA
THE PROEM BY THE CARPENTER
THE PURPLE DRESS
THE RANSOM OF MACK
THE RANSOM OF RED CHIEF
THE RATHSKELLER AND THE ROSE
THE RED ROSES OF TONIA
THE REFORMATION OF CALLIOPE
THE REMNANTS OF THE CODE
THE RENAISSANCE AT CHARLEROI
THE RIGHT BRANCH
THE ROADS WE TAKE
THE ROBE OF PEACE
THE ROMANCE OF A BUSY BROKER
THE ROSE OF DIXIE
THE RUBAIYAT OF A SCOTCH HIGHBALL
THE RUBBER PLANT’S STORY
THE SHAMROCK AND THE PALM
THE SHOCKS OF DOOM
THE SKYLIGHT ROOM
THE SLEUTHS
THE SNOW MAN
THE SOCIAL TRIANGLE
THE SONG AND THE SERGEANT
THE SPARROWS IN MADISON SQUARE
THE SPHINX APPLE
THE STRUGGLE OF THE OUTLIERS
THE TALE OF A TAINTED TENNER
THE THEORY AND THE HOUND
THE THING’S THE PLAY
THE THIRD INGREDIENT
THE TRIMMED LAMP
THE UNKN
OWN QUANTITY
THE UNPROFITABLE SERVANT
THE VENTURERS
THE VITAGRAPHOSCOPE
THE VOICE OF THE CITY
THE WHIRLIGIG OF LIFE
THE WORLD AND THE DOOR
THIMBLE, THIMBLE
THREE PARAGRAPHS
TICTOCQ
TO HIM WHO WAITS
TOBIN’S PALM
TOMMY’S BURGLAR
TRACKED TO DOOM
TRANSFORMATION OF MARTIN BURNEY
TRANSIENTS IN ARCADIA
TWO RECALLS
TWO RENEGADES
TWO THANKSGIVING DAY GENTLEMEN
ULYSSES AND THE DOGMAN
VANITY AND SOME SABLES
WHAT YOU WANT
WHILE THE AUTO WAITS
WHISTLING DICK’S CHRISTMAS STOCKING
WITCHES’ LOAVES
The Poetry
O. Henry with his wife and young daughter, 1892
LIST OF POEMS
THE PEWEE
NOTHING TO SAY
THE MURDERER
SOME POSTSCRIPTS
TWO PORTRAITS
A CONTRIBUTION
THE OLD FARM
VANITY
THE LULLABY BOY
CHANSON DE BOHÊME
HARD TO FORGET
DROP A TEAR IN THIS SLOT
TAMALES
THE PEWEE
In the hush of the drowsy afternoon,
When the very wind on the breast of June
Lies settled, and hot white tracery
Of the shattered sunlight filters free
Through the unstinted leaves to the pied cool sward;
On a dead tree branch sings the saddest bard
Of the birds that be;
’Tis the lone Pewee.
Its note is a sob, and its note is pitched
In a single key, like a soul bewitched
To a mournful minstrelsy.
“Pewee, Pewee,” doth it ever cry;
A sad, sweet minor threnody
That threads the aisles of the dim hot grove
Like a tale of a wrong or a vanished love;
And the fancy comes that the wee dun bird
Perchance was a maid, and her heart was stirred
By some lover’s rhyme
In a golden time,
And broke when the world turned false and cold;
And her dreams grew dark and her faith grew cold
In some fairy far-off clime.
And her soul crept into the Pewee’s breast;
And forever she cries with a strange unrest
For something lost, in the afternoon;
For something missed from the lavish June;
For the heart that died in the long ago;
For the livelong pain that pierceth so:
Thus the Pewee cries,
While the evening lies
Steeped in the languorous still sunshine,
Rapt, to the leaf and the bough and the vine
Of some hopeless paradise.
NOTHING TO SAY
“You can tell your paper,” the great man said,
“I refused an interview.
I have nothing to say on the question, sir;
Nothing to say to you.”
And then he talked till the sun went down
And the chickens went to roost;
And he seized the collar of the poor young man,
And never his hold he loosed.
And the sun went down and the moon came up,
And he talked till the dawn of day;
Though he said, “On this subject mentioned by you,
I have nothing whatever to say.”
And down the reporter dropped to sleep
And flat on the floor he lay;
And the last he heard was the great man’s words,
“I have nothing at all to say.”
THE MURDERER
“I push my boat among the reeds;
I sit and stare about;
Queer slimy things crawl through the weeds,
Put to a sullen rout.
I paddle under cypress trees;
All fearfully I peer
Through oozy channels when the breeze
Comes rustling at my ear.
“The long moss hangs perpetually;
Gray scalps of buried years;
Blue crabs steal out and stare at me,
And seem to gauge my fears;
I start to hear the eel swim by;
I shudder when the crane
Strikes at his prey; I turn to fly,
At drops of sudden rain.
“In every little cry of bird
I hear a tracking shout;
From every sodden leaf that’s stirred
I see a face frown out;
My soul shakes when the water rat
Cowed by the blue snake flies;
Black knots from tree holes glimmer at
Me with accusive eyes.
“Through all the murky silence rings
A cry not born of earth;
An endless, deep, unechoing thing
That owns not human birth.
I see no colors in the sky
Save red, as blood is red;
I pray to God to still that cry
From pallid lips and dead.
“One spot in all that stagnant waste
I shun as moles shun light,
And turn my prow to make all haste
To fly before the night.
A poisonous mound hid from the sun,
Where crabs hold revelry;
Where eels and fishes feed upon
The Thing that once was He.
“At night I steal along the shore;
Within my hut I creep;
But awful stars blink through the door,
To hold me from my sleep.
The river gurgles like his throat,
In little choking coves,
And loudly dins that phantom note
From out the awful groves.
“I shout with laughter through the night:
I rage in greatest glee;
My fears all vanish with the light
Oh! splendid nights they be!
I see her weep; she calls his name;
He answers not, nor will;
My soul with joy is all aflame;
I laugh, and laugh, and thrill.
“I count her teardrops as they fall;
I flout my daytime fears;
I mumble thanks to God for all
These gibes and happy jeers.
But, when the warning dawn awakes,
Begins my wandering;
With stealthy strokes through tangled brakes,
A wasted, frightened thing.”
SOME POSTSCRIPTS
TWO PORTRAITS
Wild hair flying, in a matted maze,
Hand firm as iron, eyes all ablaze;
Bystanders timidly, breathlessly gaze,
As o’er the keno board boldly he plays.
— That’s Texas Bill.
Wild hair flying, in a matted maze,
Hand firm as iron, eyes all ablaze;
Bystanders timidly, breathlessly gaze,
As o’er the keyboard boldly he plays.
— That’s Paderewski.
A CONTRIBUTION
There came unto ye editor
A poet, pale and wan,
And at the table sate him down,
A roll within his hand.
Ye editor accepted it,
And thanked his lucky fates;
Ye poet had to yield it up
To a king full on eights.
THE OLD FARM
Just now when the whitening blossoms flare
On the apple trees and the growing grass
Creeps forth, and a balm is in the air;
With my lighted pipe and well-filled glass
Of the old farm I am dreaming,
And softly smiling, seeming
To see
the bright sun beaming
Upon the old home farm.
And when I think how we milked the cows,
And hauled the hay from the meadows low;
And walked the furrows behind the plows,
And chopped the cotton to make it grow
I’d much rather be here dreaming
And smiling, only seeming
To see the hot sun gleaming
Upon the old home farm.
VANITY
A Poet sang so wondrous sweet
That toiling thousands paused and listened long;
So lofty, strong and noble were his themes,
It seemed that strength supernal swayed his song.
He, god-like, chided poor, weak, weeping man,
And bade him dry his foolish, shameful tears;
Taught that each soul on its proud self should lean,
And from that rampart scorn all earth-born fears.
The Poet grovelled on a fresh heaped mound,
Raised o’er the clay of one he’d fondly loved;
And cursed the world, and drenched the sod with tears
And all the flimsy mockery of his precepts proved.
THE LULLABY BOY
The lullaby boy to the same old tune
Who abandons his drum and toys
For the purpose of dying in early June
Is the kind the public enjoys.
But, just for a change, please sing us a song,
Of the sore-toed boy that’s fly,
And freckled and mean, and ugly, and bad,
And positively will not die.
CHANSON DE BOHÊME
Lives of great men all remind us
Rose is red and violet’s blue;
Johnny’s got his gun behind us
‘Cause the lamb loved Mary too.
— Robert Burns’ “Hocht Time in the aud Town.”
I’d rather write this, as bad as it is
Than be Will Shakespeare’s shade;
I’d rather be known as an F. F. V.
Than in Mount Vernon laid.
I’d rather count ties from Denver to Troy
Than to head Booth’s old programme;
I’d rather be special for the New York World
Than to lie with Abraham.
For there’s stuff in the can, there’s Dolly and Fan,
And a hundred things to choose;
There’s a kiss in the ring, and every old thing
That a real live man can use.
I’d rather fight flies in a boarding house
Than fill Napoleon’s grave,
And snuggle up warm in my three slat bed