Their Double Baby Gift

by Louisa Heaton

  The firemen suddenly lifted off the roof of the car and Brooke went round to the other side of the vehicle to try and get a better look at Vijaya’s leg. She couldn’t be sure, but she didn’t think there was too much damage. It looked like a simple entrapment. The wound would need cleaning, an X-ray to check for any bone damage and possibly a few stitches. It was her patient’s neck she was more worried about.

  As the firemen worked to free her patient’s leg, Brooke became aware of Matt at her side. ‘Can you give me an update?’

  Brooke gave details of her patient to Matt, being as robotic as she could, because right now, her anger and her upset had to wait. Matt nodded and then ran to check on Kelly. She watched him go, registering a look in his eyes that she had never seen before. But she guessed he must be used to scenes of such carnage. This sort of thing didn’t faze him. He had a place in his head he could go to that allowed him to keep a professional distance and look past the screams, the yells, and see what needed to be done in the most efficient manner he could.

  In moments he’d left Kelly and nipped into the café’s interior, where she lost sight of him.

  He was a good doctor. He really was. And she’d thought he was a good man. One whom she could finally lean upon.

  I should have known better.

  The firemen freed Vijaya’s leg quickly, and as a team they managed to get her onto a back board and lift her free of the vehicle. Brooke attended to the wound on her patient’s leg, applying a dressing quickly to prevent further blood loss, knowing that she would get full treatment soon in an A&E.

  She clutched Vijaya’s hand one more time. ‘You’re going in an ambulance now. I’ve got to stay here to help more patients, but I’ll come and check on you when I get back.’

  ‘Which hospital am I going to?’

  ‘The London Grace.’

  ‘Oh. Right.’

  ‘I’ll see you there.’

  She picked up her kit bag, disposed of her gloves and put on fresh ones, and then ran into the café to assist Matt.

  * * *

  She was like a bee. Flitting from patient to patient, assessing, dressing wounds, giving reassuring smiles and holding the hands of those who were wounded or frightened.

  Matt watched her, glad that he had picked her for his field team, still hoping that she would give him the chance to explain himself.

  He’d hurt her. He knew that. And that did not sit well with him. He was not the kind of guy to walk over someone else’s feelings and it unsettled him.

  He finished applying a splint to the patient with a broken leg and got him onto a spinal board for transport to an ambulance. He held the patient’s hand as he walked alongside the trolley to the vehicle and he was smiling when he heard an almighty rumble and turned to see what the noise was.

  The front of the café was obscured by a thick dust cloud and rubble lay all around. Had the front of the café collapsed? He saw, to his left, Kelly clambering out of the back of an ambulance. Was Brooke still inside?

  He ran over to the front of the café, but a fireman held him back. ‘You can’t go in—it’s not stable.’

  ‘I’ve got a doctor inside!’

  ‘We need to stabilise the area. Stand back.’

  The firemen pushed him back, away from the frontage of the building. All he could think about were the people inside. The patients. Brooke! How close had she been to the front of the café? Was she under the rubble? Was she hurt?

  Was he ever going to see her again and get the chance to say he was sorry?

  I need to get in!

  He made to dart forward, but the firemen had been watching him and placed a solid hand upon his chest. ‘Stay right where you are.’

  * * *

  It took far too long for the firemen to put up joists and clear the rubble but finally, when the moment came and they allowed him in, he rushed forward, desperate to make sure that Brooke was okay.

  He was met by a stream of walking wounded who were all clambering out into the light. He helped them all, his mind going crazy, before he was able to clamber over the debris to find Brooke—packing up her kit bag and hauling it over her shoulder.

  The relief he felt was palpable. ‘You’re okay. Thank God.’

  She looked at him, seemed slightly shocked, but nodded. ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘When the front of the café fell in I...’ He swallowed. ‘But you’re okay. That’s what matters.’

  ‘I’m all right.’

  ‘When we get back you and me are going to have that talk.’

  ‘I’m tired, Matt, and I need a drink. Maybe a shower. I’m covered in dust.’

  ‘Okay. But afterwards?’

  She nodded. ‘Afterwards.’

  He pulled her kit bag from her shoulder and slung it over his, then took her hand, to her surprise, and led her safely out over the rubble.

  Blinking again at the brightness, Brooke pulled her hand free of his and headed back to the RRV. Kelly got in beside her and he saw them exchange looks.

  He got into the front and sat beside the driver. ‘You did a great job—both of you.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘There was just the one fatality. The lorry driver. I think he had a massive MI.’

  The driver’s myocardial infarction—heart attack—must have been instantaneous, and unfortunately, he’d been driving a large, powerful vehicle that had spun out of control.

  You never knew when your time would come. Matt had once thought his time had come in Khost Province. Had been sure that at any moment he would be struck down. But he’d survived. Survived to become a father. To know his daughter. To know Brooke. And she was special. And he didn’t want to waste all the good opportunities he had in life and make people miserable.

  He’d lost his wife unexpectedly.

  Did he really want to lose Brooke, too?

  CHAPTER NINE

  HIS MIND WAS in turmoil. Now that the adrenaline had gone—now that he was thinking rationally as he waited for Brooke to get out of the hospital’s showers—he began seriously to analyse just how he’d felt when the frontage of that café had collapsed.

  How had it come to be that he had allowed himself to develop feelings for another woman? And so deeply? Okay, so he’d never told himself that he wouldn’t get involved again after Jen. He’d never said that. He’d known there might be the possibility at some point that someone might come along. He’d just never expected it this soon. And he’d certainly never expected it to be his wife’s best friend.

  He’d assumed it would be someone a long time in the future—when Lily was a teenager, maybe.

  But for it to have happened this fast... That was what he was having trouble with.

  Because when the front of that café had collapsed his heart had almost stopped. The horror, the dread that had filled him at the idea that Brooke was trapped, or hurt, or even dead under that rubble, had almost killed him, too. That another woman he cared for could be cruelly taken from him without warning... Again...

  Matt looked down at the table and saw the journal he’d been looking at earlier. It was still open at the page he’d left it. The tantalising possibility of a job at Auckland City Hospital.

  It was an amazing opportunity. Fortuitous. Something he’d once dreamed of going for. Moving Lily to New Zealand would give her an amazing life, but no matter what he decided he would always put the welfare of his little girl first.

  So what was best for her? The new life he and Jen had always wanted? Or staying here, where life was getting complicated? Could he have Brooke enter his life so deeply and be so integrated into it that Lily might call her Mama?

  The thought of that made him feel terrible. Not because Brooke would be a bad role model as a mother. She was an excellent mum to her own daughter. But he
wasn’t sure he could cope with having his daughter call Brooke Mum. It felt treacherous.

  He’d imagined raising his little girl and sitting her on his knee, getting out the photo albums and showing her pictures of her mummy and telling her all about Jen. About how like Jen she was. About how much they looked alike and how much her mother had loved her. He needed Lily to know that. And if Brooke was in their lives would that make things more complicated?

  He picked up the journal and looked at it once again. Read through the job description, the requirements, the contact details...

  Perhaps I need to keep my options open? I could just ring them for a quick chat. I could just see what it would all be about.

  Yes, if he went to New Zealand he’d be leaving Brooke and everyone here behind, but perhaps that was what they needed? A fresh start. By staying he had enveloped himself in Jen’s past, not his own. He had come here in an effort to know her better, to meet those who had loved her, in an attempt to keep her alive in his head. Getting involved with Brooke had been wrong. He’d lost his focus in a moment of lust and his feelings for his wife’s best friend were strong now. He wasn’t sure he should be feeling that way.

  It was entirely possible that going to New Zealand would also be the wrong thing to do. He couldn’t live Jen’s life. He had to live his own. But his own life had also included the aspiration to move to New Zealand. To emigrate. To give his daughter a bright future in an amazing country. It was all so confusing.

  Matt headed to his office and closed the door. He picked up the phone and called the number. He wasn’t sure of the time difference, or even if anyone would answer, but he figured he could leave his details and ask them to email him.

  But someone answered.

  An actual person.

  And so he began his enquiries about the vacancy.

  * * *

  The shower felt great. To just stand there motionless, letting the hot spray hit her body, her head, her shoulders, her back, feeling it washing away the dust and debris...pounding sore muscles that were still recovering from the adrenaline rush that had smothered her when the front wall of the café had collapsed.

  For a moment she had thought she would die.

  She’d been helping a patient, wrapping gauze around a penetrative leg injury, when she’d heard a strange creak and a groan. As if the world itself was about to crumble. And then it had felt as if the sky had fallen as the front of the café had come crashing down, filling her lungs with dust and grit as everything went dark.

  She’d leaned over her patient, protecting her, covering her own head and hoping that somehow she would survive.

  The only thought in her head had been Morgan!

  Her little girl. In the hospital crèche, probably playing happily with something, or sitting in a puddle of paint, smiling, laughing. She could lose her mother at any minute. Morgan might have to grow without a mother as well as without a father.

  Who would care for her?

  Not her dad. Social services would never give a baby to a drunk. So that just left Eric, Morgan’s father, and there was no way she would want that. And there was no way he’d want the intrusion of his child turning up in his sad little life.

  And then she’d thought of poor Lily, who actually had no mother but did have a loving, kind father, and she’d begun to wonder, as she coughed dirt and dust from her lungs and wiped the grime from her face, whether she had misjudged Matt?

  He wasn’t a bad guy. She knew that. Deep down. He was a brilliant doctor. Kind and caring. Professional. He ran the A&E department beautifully. It had never been as efficient as it was now, under his leadership. And as a father, he was top notch. She saw it in his face whenever he collected his daughter at the end of the day. Just how much he’d missed her was in his eyes. In the way he would pull her towards him and breathe in the scent of her hair and kiss her. He was determined to be everything his little girl needed now that she was motherless.

  And that night they’d spent together... Cads and users didn’t make love to a woman like that. It had been more than sex, she was sure of it, so why had he walked away? And if he was a user of women—which she now doubted—he would never have left a note, would he? He would have just walked out. And, okay, he hadn’t answered her text messages or phone calls, but she had no idea what had happened to him after he’d left her flat.

  She owed him the opportunity—his chance to explain. Because life was too short to waste it on petty grievances. Matt was not her father. He wasn’t Eric. And he deserved his chance to speak.

  Switching off the shower, she got dressed and dried her hair, sweeping it up into a ponytail and then went to find him.

  He was in his office, on the phone. His gaze met hers as she stood in the doorway and he held up his hand as if to say two minutes.

  She nodded, happy to wait, and sat in the chair opposite, trying not to listen in but hearing words like New Zealand and emigrating and wondering who on earth he could be talking to.

  Eventually he put down the phone and looked her over. Then he smiled, as if he was happy to see she had no cuts, no bruises, no injuries.

  ‘You’re okay?’ he asked.

  She nodded. ‘I am. A little weary, but good.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear it. When I saw what had happened I didn’t know what to think.’

  She gave him a polite smile, acknowledging his worry about her wellbeing. ‘What happened, Matt?’

  ‘The front of the café collap—’

  ‘No. After our night together. You just left. You never answered my calls.’

  He had the decency to look appalled with himself. ‘I’m sorry. Did you see my note?’

  Unfortunately. ‘Yes.’

  ‘I did want to stay with you. Spend the day with you, like we’d planned, but...’

  ‘But?’

  ‘I’ve not been with a woman since Jen died. I hadn’t expected to be with a woman like that for a long time. And yet somehow there I was, in your bed, with you in my arms, and it felt so right... But I felt guilty. Terribly guilty. I don’t know...it was a knee-jerk reaction, and I justified it to myself by thinking that I needed a shower and a change of clothes, and that I didn’t want to monopolise your whole weekend... I’m sorry. It’s not a good enough excuse. It was an instinctual thing. I just left. It was wrong of me.’

  ‘And you didn’t answer my messages.’

  ‘I left my phone behind and went out for the whole day. I felt like I owed it to Lily—as if I’d betrayed her mother’s memory and I owed it to her. It was no slight on you. What we had was...’

  She waited to hear how he’d describe their night together. Hoping that he would confirm to her that he had felt the same way. That they’d discovered a deep connection between them...that it had been more than just sex. More than just a cheap night—something passionate and intimate and loving.

  ‘Just magical.’

  She allowed herself a small smile. So he had felt it too. That was good. She hadn’t been imagining things. ‘It meant something. Didn’t it?’

  ‘More than I suspected it would.’

  Her smile broadened. ‘What happened today at the café, when the roof came in. I thought that... I thought I might die. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but it made me think about life and how short it is. We’ve both lost Jen. I thought Morgan might lose me as well.’

  ‘I would have lost you, too.’

  She nodded. Yes. They’d both been hit by the events of today. ‘I didn’t want to waste any more time on being angry with you. That night showed me that we could have something special.’

  ‘Brooke—’

  ‘Let me finish. Please.’ She leaned forward. ‘You mean something to me. I never expected it. I never thought for a moment that I would feel this way about you. But I do, and I think if we’re offered the c
hance of happiness in our lives we should take it.’ She smiled. ‘I don’t often put myself out on the line like this. I don’t declare my feelings. But I’d like to think that if you feel the same way about me as I do about you then we should embrace that.’

  Her stomach was rolling as she spoke. Butterflies in their thousands were flitting around in her insides as she waited for his response. She hoped he would smile. Hoped he would come out from behind the desk and take her in his arms and hold her tight. Press her up against his body and whisper into her hair that he loved her.

  But he remained seated behind his desk. His face was a mass of conflicting emotions. ‘We should take chances—you’re right. It’s too easy to stay in our comfort zones, wrapping ourselves up in the familiar. We should take chances.’

  She might be wrong, but she felt as if he was saying that to himself, rather than to her. Perhaps he was trying to persuade himself? He’d admitted to feeling guilty about what they’d shared, and she could understand that. It wasn’t that long ago that his wife had died, and perhaps he was struggling with that more than she knew? Perhaps he needed a little extra time to get used to this change? To accept the fact that she had feelings for him and wanted to pursue a relationship with him.

  Because she absolutely did. She might have been burned by men in the past, but the way she felt about Matt... She absolutely felt sure that he was worth it. That by putting her cards on the table she was making herself vulnerable, yes, but she was also being brave. She wasn’t going to let her past dictate her future. She was going to take a chance on love despite that.

  She’d thought she might die today. And she would have died without letting Matt know how she really felt. He needed to know. Anybody who loved needed to let the person they cherished understand just how they felt. It was an important thing to hear. Words had power. Magic. It wasn’t just actions that proved how you felt.

  Brooke decided to give him some time to digest what she’d said. ‘I’m just going to go check on Morgan before I return to work, if that’s okay?’