For Love of the Earl

by Jessie Clever

  "I do beg your pardon, my lady. How uncouth of me to make such a comment about your person."

  Sarah laughed, and this time, it was solid and sure, a noise so profound, Alec laughed in return. It wasn't until Sarah was resting peacefully in his arms once more that he realized people were watching them. Nathan and Nora to be exact. Nora stood with the regal and unmoving pose of a trained servant while Nathan rudely stared at them.

  "I'm glad to see you two have managed to find a way between your differences," Nathan said.

  "I do not think there were any differences between them, Mr. Black," Nora returned, "I think it was just a matter of understanding properly what one was saying to the other. It can be quite difficult you know."

  Alec went to nod and then stopped.

  "About this Mr. Black and Mrs. Black thing, would you care to explain?"

  Sarah's head nodded against his shoulder.

  "I think an explanation would be wonderful."

  Nathan shrugged.

  "There isn't much to explain. You were missing. Sarah ran off after you. We had to try to find you to save you from whatever trouble it was you found yourself in, and in the course of events, we ended up married to one another. Is that about how it went, dear?" He directed the last part to Nora, who nodded.

  "Yes, I do believe that quite sums up the matter. Will we be in dock soon? We need to get these two out of these wet clothes or it will be the death of them."

  Alec felt a slight bit of reassurance at Nora's motherly tone, but this again stopped him.

  "Where's Samuel then?"

  Nathan smiled.

  "He's been sent off to Great Aunt Lydia."

  Alec felt the blood drain from his face.

  "Dear God, man, he's going to return with all kinds of bravado notions in his head."

  Nora smiled at him.

  "So I have heard, and I cannot wait to see the outcome."

  Sarah moved against him.

  "And what of Jane and Richard?"

  Nathan looked at Nora.

  "Well, they are on their wedding trip, you see. In the port of Dover."

  "And we would be their servants," Nora supplied.

  "Quite the ruse then, I see," Alec said, his arm unconsciously tightening around Sarah. "Do we have any cover to keep us from detection once we return to shore?"

  Nathan shook his head.

  "The plan is to generally keep you in a large crowd until we can safely return to London. We will be traveling by ship to Liverpool first as a distraction. We hope to lose anyone that would continue to follow you. We hope this entire ordeal will be enough to convince certain persons that you are not worth kidnapping again."

  "I beg to differ on that point, brother. I think I am definitely worth kidnapping," Alec said, mock indignity in his voice.

  "I would second that," Sarah said.

  Nathan only raised an eyebrow.

  "Get ready, laddies and lassies," Davis called over to them. "We'll be making the pier in due course, and then ye'd best get off me ship."

  Alec looked at Nathan.

  "Wherever did he learn to talk like that?"

  Nathan shrugged.

  "Who knows where Davis picks things up?"

  The four of them made their way back out to the quarterdeck and down to the level where the gangplank would lead them to the pier. Alec had carefully looked over himself and Sarah. He quickly tied the scarf that they had used as a belt around Sarah's head to give her some level of camouflage, but he had nothing for himself. He looked at Nathan.

  "Mind if I borrow your hat, pirate?"

  Nathan obliging took the thing off his head.

  "Nothing would give me more pleasure."

  The gangplank lowered, and they were moving even before it hit the treads of the pier.

  Even at this late hour, there was activity on the docks, but not the kind of activity that welcomed genteel company. Alec kept his arm around Sarah as they made their way swiftly to the shore road where they could pick up a hackney that would take them away from this docks. Nathan and Nora moved ahead of them, a distinct distance between them as Nora clearly looked every inch a man and somewhat threatening in her authoritative walk. His brother had most certainly gotten himself a remarkable woman.

  They gained purchase on the shore road, and the traffic moved swiftly past them, carrying gentlemen to and fro as they made their way from gaming hell to gaming hell and then to brothel. Alec's arm tightened again.

  "If you squeeze anymore, I shall shatter," Sarah said, and he loosened his arm immediately.

  Out of the flow of traffic, a carriage suddenly appeared before them, and Alec had never been so happy to see the colors of the Duke of Lofton. Nora was opening the door even as Nathan jumped up on the box with the driver. Alec did not hesitate. He swept his wife up into his arms and boarded the carriage. The door shut with a snap, and Alec caught a flash as Nora swung onto the tiger's step at the rear. And then the carriage was moving.

  "That must be the best damn housekeeper I have ever met."

  Alec looked down at his wife as she sat cradled in his arms, raising his eyebrows at her indelicate words.

  "I would have to agree with you, Lady Stryden. I would have to agree with you indeed."

  And then he just held her as the carriage raced through the traffic of Dover, taking them away from the things which threatened the happiness they so recently found.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Dover, England

  April 1815

  Sarah lay perfectly still on the bed, letting the entire world collapse on her like a wave that ran the length of her body before disappearing from reach. She felt its cool, fleeting touch, but before it could spark worry or fear in her person, it simply disappeared, and she was left feeling nothing at all.

  Nothing, except the warm touch of her husband's hand in hers.

  When they had arrived at The Owl and Fork Inn, they had entered the establishment through the rear, keeping to the servants halls and stairs until finding their way up to the suite of rooms reserved by the Duke and Duchess of Lofton for their belated wedding trip. Sarah did not know how she had had the energy to move at all at the point, let alone up so many flights of stairs. With the edge of danger removed, her body had quite simply given up, and now it wanted rest.

  But the duke and duchess were awake and alert when they had entered the chamber and had immediately started asking questions. Sarah could remember very little of the entire thing as Alec did the talking, and she stood there, trying desperately not to fall asleep. Baths were ordered for both of them, and then Nora was helping her out of the remains of her dress.

  It was just she and Nora, alone together in the room set aside for Alec and Sarah upon their rescue. A fire roared in the fireplace even though it was the middle of the night. And between the warmth of the flames and the heat of the bathwater, Sarah knew she was going to fall asleep.

  She remembered reaching out to Nora, telling her to stay, to keep her awake. And she had.

  Nora sat on a stool by the fire, working her way around Sarah's gown as if determining if the garment could be salvaged. Sarah had more gowns that she would ever wear in a lifetime and knew this one would not be missed. But she also knew that Nora came from an entirely different background than she, and that saving any garment was a priority. So she kept her mouth shut and listened to Nora tell her about what had happened after Sarah had run off after Alec and they both got themselves kidnapped.

  She listened to how Nora and Nathan had been wed under the pressure of discovery and how Samuel had discovered what had happened to Lord Archer, the man Nathan had been assigned to assassinate because of his treasonous acts for the French.

  And she listened when Nora told her how she had shot and killed the man who had raped her so many years ago. It was at this story that Sarah had become fully awake, sitting in now tepid bath water, the aches in her body receding with every word Nora said.

  And then Nora was fetching a nightgown and
robe for her, and before she could protest, Nora had her tucked in bed, the covers a comforting weight on her bruised body.

  She had almost been asleep when the soft click of a door knob turning told her her husband had entered their room. She had been wondering where he was in some lost corner of her mind, but the tired ache of her body trumped any other thought, and she had only been concentrating on sleeping. But then the bed dipped with his weight, and she rolled slightly toward him. His hand found hers, and they lay that way for several moments before he finally spoke.

  "You hit him with a water jug?"

  Sarah forced her eyelids to open. It would not do to fall asleep on Alec after they had so recently come to a sort of truce between them, a truce that was quickly leading to better understanding. Sarah had never even imagined that their discord was a simple case of misunderstanding, but then, she most likely had never given enough due to proper communication. She rather thought yelling at a person solved all matters, but even she could be proven wrong.

  "I did," she said.

  "Where did you get a water jug?"

  Sarah thought back to the old man who had helped her, who led her through the dark passages of their prison to the hatch that would gain her freedom and bring her back to Alec.

  "A friend," she said. "What were you doing scampering about in the middle of the Duke of Kent's gardens that night? I know why I was out of bed, but what were you doing out of bed? Surely, your father and Jane didn't know what you were about."

  She heard Alec turn his head on the pillow beside her.

  "I was going to meet a girl," he said without hesitation, and Sarah turned her own head to look at him.

  "A girl? Truly?"

  Alec smiled in the dark of the room, the warm glow from the fire casting shadows across his face.

  "A very pretty girl. But then I ran into you and got most distracted."

  "Why did you help me that night? I could have taken care of myself."

  Alec shrugged under the weight of their many covers.

  "I liked you. I remembered you from earlier in the day when we children had been assigned the task of playing croquet with the nannies and being told to enjoy it. I recalled that you struck the balls as hard as you possibly could and smiled rather mischievously when they toppled into the pond."

  Sarah smiled then at the memory of it.

  "I was most bored," she said, as if that would justify it.

  "I was, too, but I was not brave enough to demonstrate it the way you did."

  "Do you think that was impolite of me?"

  Alec shook his head.

  "I think certain things are expected of people born in certain places at certain times, but no one considers the fact that we're all just humans. And sometimes, we would like to be left to do what we wish to do."

  "What do you mean?" she asked, and even she marveled at the fact that she had just asked her husband to explain himself further when in the past, she would have called him an uncomplimentary name and changed the subject.

  She knew Alec noticed it, too, when he raised his eyebrows at her in the near dark.

  "I mean that class isn't really anything other than a label applied to a person. The label is worthless if the intrinsic qualities of the person is found lacking."

  Sarah felt her mouth fall open.

  "That must be the most intelligent thing I have ever heard you say, Alec Black."

  Alec laughed softly.

  "It's hard to sound intelligent when a person is focused on making another person laugh."

  Sarah wanted to ask something about that, but Alec kept going.

  "Sometimes society can be harsh, Sarah, but it truly is not worth getting your nose bent about it. Who cares what an old biddy has to say about the color of your skirts if she herself has never said a kind word to anyone in her lifetime? I would rather not care for such a person's opinions. What was it you were saying about dodging carriages and what not as a child? I think that stuff speaks volumes to a person's character and not so much a person's luck on being born into the right family. Luck doesn't require courage or bravery or intelligence. How can luck be the judge of anything?"

  Sarah did not speak.

  She let her husband's words wash over her, the wave returning once more only this time it was gentle and serene and its weight barely noticeable. His words were a caress, consumed by such a level of love and understanding that Sarah had not witnessed the like of it before. But she had to be sure. She had to be certain before she allowed the caress to lure her into hope.

  "Alec, are you saying that you do not care if I am a bastard?"

  Alec looked at her, his gaze unwavering.

  "Sarah, I believe there is a very important part of my life that you have failed to take note of. Have you met my brother, Nathan?"

  Sarah blinked at him.

  "Of course, I have met Nathan-"

  She stopped speaking, feeling her eyes grow round.

  "Oh, Alec. I am a complete idiot," she whispered, and he laughed softly again, the noise a musical sound in her ears.

  "Oh, come now, love, I wouldn't be quite so harsh. You are not a complete idiot, but perhaps you missed a thing or two."

  "But Alec," she said, coming up on an elbow to lean over him. "Your brother is a bastard. His mother...your father...he," she couldn't get the right words in the right order.

  "Yes, our father and his mother were not wed when Nathan was conceived and born, and I could not have asked for a better brother."

  "So you do not care that I am-" she couldn't find the word.

  "I do not care about any of that, Sarah, but I am most interested in how you managed to secure clandestine rides on carriages without being caught. That topic requires much greater detail from the source, I believe."

  Sarah matched his smile and lowered herself back down to the pillows.

  "A lady never tells her secrets, my lord," she said and did not flinch when she referred to herself as a lady.

  "Not even to her husband?"

  "Not even," she said, smiling at him in the dark. "But there is something you could tell me. Why is it so important that you make me laugh?"

  Alec's smile faded, and he turned away from her. But Sarah was already moving, bringing her hand up to his face and drawing him back to her.

  "We are no longer playing this game, Stryden. I talk and you listen. You talk and I listen. No more hiding, and no more misunderstanding."

  Alec looked at her.

  "When did you become such a demanding shrew?"

  "When you taught me how," she said. "Now do not change the subject. Why must you make me laugh?"

  She thought he would evade the question again, but it appeared he was merely thinking how to word his response.

  "It's a very long story, Sarah."

  She nodded.

  "And where else do I have to be at this moment exactly?"

  "You should be sleeping, getting the rest your body truly needs."

  Sarah shook his head.

  "I'll hear this story first, and then I'll sleep."

  "Demanding," he muttered, but then he took a breath to tell her what he meant.

  "Nathan was born exactly three years before me, almost to the day. No one has ever told me what happened to his mother, but I can only imagine she either died shortly after giving birth to him or she simply did not want him. Whatever the circumstances, our father did want him, and he did everything he could to make sure Nathan was legally his. And then Nathan came to live with him, and he realized he was completely not prepared for a child. But he loved Nathan. I remember him telling Jane about Nathan as a baby, the sounds he would make in his sleep and the stories he would tell when he was just learning to speak."

  Their hands had become entwined between them, and Sarah squeezed his hand now.

  "You must have listened at your father's door a lot after you thought you killed Nathan."

  Alec smiled.

  "I did. It's very traumatic thinking you killed your broth
er. I needed all of the comfort I could get."

  Sarah raised her head enough to kiss her husband softly on the lips.

  "Please continue," she said.

  "And that was when our father realized he needed to beget a legal heir. Having Nathan in his keep made something in him snap, and any desire he had had in being a rogue and whatever other terms were in vogue in those days for calling a man a rake simply vanished. He was ready to assume his responsibility to the title. So he wed my mother. Nathan has told me that it was not a love match, but a match of sincere respect. He had heard stories from his nanny of what the two of them had been like during the courtship as whomever the Duke of Lofton chose to wed, she would need to accept Nathan as a part of their lives. And my mother did."

  "What was her name?" Sarah interrupted, needing to know just then the name of this woman who had left such a mark on her son.

  "Emily," Alec said, his eyes going distant as the name left his lips. "Her name was Emily."

  Sarah tightened her grip on his hand.

  "Go on," she said softly.

  "They were wed, and I was born a short year later, four days after Nathan's third birthday. And Emily died five days after Nathan's third birthday."

  The last of his words came out as barely a whisper with such guttural agony held in them that Sarah was surprised he had managed the words at all. She reached up and laid a hand along his cheek.

  "And that is the first real thing that I can remember," he said, "I remember killing my mother."

  Sarah watched as tears came to Alec's eyes, as he slipped into his memories and away from her.

  "Alec," she said rather harshly, but his eyes cleared almost instantly, "Stop being ridiculous."

  He looked at her then, his eyes focused and a little surprised. She smiled.

  "I was just trying to get your attention," she said, "And now that I have it, you need to explain to me. Why do you think you killed your mother? Did someone tell you that you did?"

  Alec shook his head against her hand.

  "No one had to tell me. I just knew. I knew I had killed her, and there was nothing I could to make up for it."