War Widow

by June Francis

  ‘I’m handing in my notice.’ She forced her smile. ‘It’ll be much too embarrassing for you if I stayed.’

  ‘What – what d’you mean?’ he stammered.

  ‘I’m having a Yankee bastard,’ she said, and walked out.

  Flora told George and Vivien that she would not be seeing Stephen any more. ‘Hallellujah!’ said George, grinning.

  ‘I’ll miss him,’ sighed Vivien. ‘I’d have liked a dad.’

  ‘Hard luck,’ said George, squeezing her shoulder. ‘It’s a pity Mike was a Yank,’ he added, addressing his mother. Then he picked up his football and went out.

  Flora almost agreed with him, knowing just what he meant by that, and wondered how she was going to tell the children about the baby when her condition merited it. The thought of abortion briefly passed through her mind but was quickly set aside. Too dangerous, and besides she did not want to destroy Mike’s child.

  On Saturday Flora returned from shopping to find that the post had been. She turned a letter over and stilled as she recognised Mike’s handwriting. She dumped her basket and ripped the letter open eagerly. ‘Has time changed anything? Meet me – the Prince’s Landing Stage, 7 p.m. Sunday. California Star.’

  ‘Oh God, what do I do?’ Flora’s knees shook. It was like a miracle in a way. But what was she to do? There was still Father, and Rosie’s grave, and the religious thing. And how would George and Vivien feel about going to America? She did realise that it was unlikely that Mike intended her to go with him tomorrow evening because he knew that she would not be able to go just like that, but maybe he intended her following him out to America.

  Suddenly she felt wild with relief, and also quite faint as she staggered up the lobby with the shopping. Collapsing in a chair in front of the slumbering fire, she sat for a long while, staring into the glowing embers, thinking. ‘Has time changed anything?’ Mike knew or hoped, she felt certain of that as a smile lit her face. At least, thank God, she had the chance of telling him about the baby. Kevin and Hilda were well in with her father. They could take care of him. She squashed any qualms she had about their marriage. Dear God, would she have to become a Catholic or would Mike let her have her way like Mary’s bloke did her?

  She jumped as the knocker sounded, and got up to open the door thinking without any good reason that it was going to be Mike.

  Vivien fell into the lobby. Her cheeks were flushed and her breath came in great gasps. ‘Mam wants you! She’s had an accident. You’re not to go through the shop, though, but straight to the flat door. Mam’s given me the key.’

  Flora stared at her fixedly, hardly able to take in what she was saying. ‘What kind of accident?’

  ‘She looks terrible! But she wouldn’t tell me what happened. Just said I was to get you!’

  ‘But why me? What about your uncle Kevin? Isn’t he there? Or Maggie? Wouldn’t she do?’

  ‘She had her accident days ago, Aunty Flo,’ informed Vivien, her breathing steadying. ‘They know about it. She’s in bed and doesn’t look very pretty any more. She said she wanted you but you’ve got to be quiet.’

  Flora stilled in the act of putting her purse in her pocket and her heart bumped uncomfortably inside her chest. ‘Quiet? I don’t understand.’

  ‘Just come!’ ordered Vivien, seizing hold of her arm and dragging on it. ‘Come! She’s all worked up and wants you! Only you.’

  ‘All right, all right,’ muttered Flora, brushing the girl’s hand off her sleeve. ‘Let’s go then. She must be bad if she wants me.’

  ‘She said that you’re her sister and that’s that,’ said Vivien, and pushed the door wide. Flora, went out, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.’

  ‘Thank God you’ve come, Flo,’ said Hilda in a relieved voice. A cigarette smouldered between her fingers as she lay propped against a couple of pillows and surrounded by disorder. There were magazines, papers, sweet wrappers, a dirty cup and plate, and a saucer spilling ash.

  ‘I came as soon as I could,’ said Flora quietly, attempting to conceal the shock she felt at the sight of her sister’s face. It was swollen and bruised all down one side and she had a black eye that was turning yellow. ‘How did all this happen?’

  ‘I think you can guess.’ Her mouth quivered. She took a deep drag of her cigarette and glanced at Vivien. ‘I caught Kevin doing you know what with that floozy downstairs a few days ago.’

  ‘What!’ Flora licked her lips. ‘What happened?’

  ‘I hit her and pulled her out of bed. She beat it but Kevin had the nerve to tell me to keep out of his business, and called me a shrew, a tart and a lazy cow! I told him that it was my business and flew at him.’ She fell silent, staring at a far wall.

  ‘And?’ pressed Flora, covering her sister’s hand with hers.

  Hilda stared at her. ‘What d’you think?’

  Flora touched her bruised swollen face and scowled. ‘He did this to you.’

  ‘Guessed it in one, Flo.’ A bitter laugh escaped her. ‘You warned me ages ago about him, didn’t you?’ Flora said nothing and Hilda continued: ‘He slapped me about so hard that I fell down the stairs. I frightened the life out of him because I kept quiet and still – not just because I was stunned but I thought that way he’d stop hitting me.’ She swallowed. ‘When I opened my eyes he acted like he was all sorry then – that he hadn’t meant to knock me down the stairs. Perhaps he didn’t – but bloody hell, Flo, I’m not putting up with him belting me like that! He was all as sweet as pie and carried me upstairs. I hurt my ankle and it’s still a bit swollen but I’ve been making out that it’s worse than it is, because I’ve been waiting for our Viv to come. I knew you’d help me, Flo.’

  Flora squeezed her fingers gently. ‘I’ll get the police.’

  ‘No!’ Hilda’s expression darkened. ‘They won’t believe me. They’re men – they’ll take his side.’

  ‘What d’you want me to do?’

  Hilda’s eyes glinted. ‘I’m going to leave him and I want you to help me. I can walk, and by tomorrow I’ll walk even better. I thought you might let me come to your place tonight and tomorrow I’ll get out of Liverpool.’

  Flora sighed. ‘What’ll you do for money? I haven’t got much.’

  Hilda pushed back the covers, sending the saucer flying and spilling ash. The rest of the paraphernalia on the bed slid to the floor. ‘He thinks he’s so smart – that I don’t know where he’s put his money now.’ Her voice was harsh. ‘But I’m not as daft as he thinks I am.’ She stumbled over to the unlit fireplace, and pushing back her sleeve she thrust her arm up the chimney until her searching fingers found a tiny ledge: She brought out a black cloth bag. ‘See!’ There was jubilation in her voice.

  Flora said nothing, only watching her unfasten the bag and take out a fistful of notes. ‘He’s not going to let you get away with this, Hilda,’ she murmured uneasily. ‘And our house is the first he’ll try.’

  ‘No, it isn’t. He’ll try Doris’s.’ Hilda’s expression was set as she stuffed the notes down the front of her brassiere. ‘He believes that there’s no love lost between us. He doesn’t realise how true it is about blood being thicker than water.’

  ‘I think you’re wrong but get yourself dressed,’ she said in a resigned tone. ‘He could come up here any moment.’

  ‘Not at this time of day,’ replied Hilda, starting to dress. ‘I’m already packed. My case is under the bed. I didn’t dress properly because he sometimes comes up when he knows Viv’s around. He puts on an act of being nice and caring and fusses her, wheedling information out of her, but I made sure he knew when she left earlier.’

  ‘Just hurry up then,’ said Flora, getting on her knees and searching for the case.’ She humped it out, and eased herself up to see Hilda pressing on face powder. ‘Are you crazy?’ she muttered. ‘You haven’t got time for that! Let’s go. If he comes up, your little escapade is finished.’ Her sister nodded and did what Flora ordered.

  Flora’s hands were unsteady as she
shot the bolts at the top and the bottom of the front door that night. She had no illusions about how Kevin would behave if he came looking for his missing wife and money. For tonight they should be safe. It was midnight and all was quiet. Hilda was in Vivien’s room and the girl was in Flora’s bed. She went upstairs.

  She found it difficult to sleep, starting awake at the least sound outside or in. She tried to concentrate her thoughts on seeing Mike, and eventually she slept, to dream an old dream that she was the Statue of Liberty and Mike was scaling her.

  She awoke with a start to find that the light was still grey in the bedroom and that someone was calling outside. For a moment it was as if she was back in the days when she had her early morning job and the van was outside. Vivien was awake and staring at her, bleary-eyed. For a further second Flora was reminded of the morning when Rosie had been wakened, and she experienced the old dull pain of loss. Then Vivien spoke.

  ‘I think it’s Uncle Kevin,’ she whispered. ‘Shall I go and see?’

  Flora shook her head and went across the room to gaze out of the window on to a foggy morning. Kevin was shouting Hilda’s name fit to wake the whole street, but nobody was stirring on such a dismal Sunday. She drew back quickly before he could see her and went back to bed, glancing at the clock as she did so. It was later than she had thought – gone ten. ‘It is your Uncle Kevin. We’ll ignore him. With a bit of luck he’ll go away.’

  ‘He’s come for Mam, hasn’t he?’ Vivien’s brown eyes looked seriously into hers. ‘You’re not going to hand her over to him, are you?’

  ‘Don’t be daft. You saw what he did to her.’

  ‘How can he be so wicked?’ The girl’s expression was puzzled. ‘He was so nice to me, Aunty Flo. Was it all pretend?’

  ‘Probably not. I don’t understand men like him, Viv. I know his mam committed suicide – perhaps that changed him. That and the war. It gave some people a taste for violence.’ She smoothed back a stray curl and hugged the girl. ‘But it’s cold outside and it’s likely that he’ll soon get fed up and go home.’

  ‘I hope so,’ said Vivien forlornly.

  Kevin did not get fed up. Eventually, considering the neighbours, Flora went over to the window and opened it, letting in swirling fingers of smoky fog. It was very cold. ‘Is that you, Mr Brown?’ she called in feigned surprise.

  ‘Don’t be pretending you don’t know it’s me,’ he shouted, his face twisting with anger. ‘Hilda’s in there so you just bloody tell her to get herself down here now.’

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ said Flora in icy tones. ‘If you don’t go away I’ll have to get the police because you’re creating a disturbance.’

  He swore at her. ‘You’ve got a nerve, mentioning the police, you bitch. It’s me who’ll get them to break this door in.’

  ‘You just try it and you’ll be in trouble.

  He swore at her and she withdrew her head. As she went to close the window, Kevin shouted up: ‘Tell Hilda if she comes out now with all the money I’ll forgive her and take her back.’

  ‘Generous of you,’ called Flora, watching him fumble in his pocket. ‘But I told you that she’s not here.’ She slammed the window down.

  Vivien’s eyes were confused. ‘Shall I tell Mam he’s here? Maybe he’s really sorry.’

  A tired laugh escaped Flora. ‘I bet he is! But for how long?’She reached for her clothes. ‘But you go and tell your mam. It’s her decision what to do.’

  Flora went downstairs and was glad that she was not feeling so nauseous that morning. They were late, and gazing out of the window into the yard she could barely make out the gas lamp on the corner of the yard wall. There would be no Sunday School this morning for Vivien and George.

  When Hilda came down there was determination and just a hint of satisfaction in her expression. ‘Is he good and mad?’

  ‘I’d say so.’ Flora turned over the bread she was toasting. ‘He says that he’ll forgive you and take you back. Maybe he’ll turn over a new leaf?’ she said hopefully, considering her own plans.

  ‘And maybe pigs’ll fly.’ Hilda sprawled in the armchair by the fire. ‘I’m not going back to him. I hope he’s freezing to death out there.’

  ‘He probably is. You know how fog goes right through you.’ Flora handed the toast to Vivien to spread dripping on, and forked another slice of bread. ‘What are you going to do?’

  Hilda smiled. ‘I don’t fancy going out into that fog – though I suppose it’s the best time for me to vanish.’ She laughed. ‘The Lady Vanishes. Remember that film?’

  ‘Yes,’ groaned Flora. ‘Just like I remember The Wicked Lady.’

  The laughter disappeared from Hilda’s face. ‘Don’t remind me, Floss. I don’t know why I ever wanted to get married to Kevin. It was pure slave labour. I must have been mad.’

  ‘I did warn you,’ said Flora mildly.

  ‘You did.’ Hilda toyed with her nails, her expression pensive. ‘I liked Mike, you know.’

  Flora stared at her. ‘Forget Mike. I’m going to marry him. He was never yours and he never will be.’

  ‘Who sez?’ Hilda laughed. ‘You’ve got a nerve, Flo. You haven’t had anything to do with him for ages. Viv told me he stopped coming.’

  ‘You shouldn’t believe everything that Viv tells you. Take it from me, I’m going to marry him,’ she said confidently.

  ‘Good God!’ Her sister stared at her. ‘I think you mean it.’

  ‘I do.’ She smiled.

  Hilda shook her head, a puzzled expression on her face. ‘You’ve no objection to my going to America, I hope?’ she said, a little disgruntled. ‘I was just thinking Kevin’s money might just be enough. There’s ships leaving Liverpool every week.’

  Flora’s heart sank. What about her father now? ‘You’re a married woman,’ she said quickly. ‘You haven’t got a passport – and what about a visa?’

  ‘I know, I know,’ murmured Hilda. Her eyes twinkled. ‘But I have got a passport. In my maiden name. I could sell my wedding ring – and voilà! I’m Hilda Preston again. Kevin can sue me for divorce, that’ll suit me.’ Her expression was suddenly dreamy. ‘Imagine America. New York! Hollywood! California here I come! Has Mike any brothers?’

  Flora shook her head at her. ‘You’ve got to get out of this house yet, big sister.’

  ‘There’s a back way.’

  ‘Kevin’s not daft.’ Flora turned to George. ‘Go and look out of the parlour window and see where Mr Brown is.’

  He was back in a minute. ‘He’s hiding up the entry, Mam. We’ll have to lure him away if Aunty Hilda’s going to escape.’

  The sisters looked at each other. Then Vivien spoke. ‘You and Mam could wear each other’s coats. You’re not that different from the back if you both wear scarves over your hair.’

  ‘She’s got something, Mam,’ said George. ‘If we can trick him into following you instead of Aunty Hilda, then we’ve licked it.’

  ‘We’ll give it a whirl,’ said Flora. The sooner her sister was out of the way, the sooner Kevin would leave, and the sooner she could make her arrangements to meet Mike.

  Hilda nodded. ‘Let him freeze a bit longer while we work it all out.’ She wandered over to the sideboard.

  ‘What about Mam’s suitcase,’ said Vivien. ‘Who’ll carry that?’

  ‘I will,’ said George, determined not to miss out on the adventure.

  ‘Isn’t there anything I can do?’ demanded Vivien. ‘I don’t want to miss out on the fun.’

  ‘Fun!’ Flora stared at her and shook her head. ‘You’ll stay out of it.’

  Hilda nodded. ‘We don’t want you getting in the way’ she said absently, staring down at a sheet of paper. ‘What’s this, Flo?’

  Flora looked at the paper and snatched it out of her hand quickly. ‘Never you mind. It’s got nothing to do with you.’ She pocketed Mike’s message.

  When it actually came to the parting of their ways, it was not as easy as Flora had thought. �
��Well, take care of yourself.’ Her throat was unexpectedly tight with tears. ‘You’ll write this time?’

  Hilda nodded, and her eyes were moist. ‘It’s not goodbye for good, Flo,’ she said roughly. ‘We’re both going to America, remember?’

  ‘Sure,’ said Flora.

  They stared at each other, hazel eyes meeting blue.

  Hilda smiled brightly, and scrubbed a hand across her eyes.

  ‘Dammit! I bet I look a worse mess now. Let’s get on with it, Flo.’ And she pushed her sister out of the kitchen.

  George nodded to Hilda, who waved to Flora standing in the lobby. Then he went into the yard and climbed on the bin, dragging himself up on to the wall, making as much noise as possible. He sent a sidelong glance along the entry and was glad to see Kevin walking towards him. ‘Hello, Uncle Kev! Mam said would you like a cup of tea? You must be freezing waiting there. The wind doesn’t half nip up this entry.’

  ‘Surprisingly generous of your mam all of a sudden isn’t it?’ sneered Kevin, dropping his cigarette end and grinding it into the cobbles with his heel.

  ‘My mam is generous,’ retorted George. ‘And if you wait here, I’ll let you have that cup of tea.’

  ‘Wait here!’ exclaimed Kevin incredulously. ‘You must be joking!’ His expression was suddenly that of an alerted animal and without another word he turned and ran up the entry.

  George caught the flicker of scarlet as his mam sped past the far end of the entry. He watched a moment before dropping from the wall and sliding the bolt on the back gate. Hilda was beside him in seconds and he took the case from her and began to race up the entry in the opposite direction to Kevin. Hilda hurried after him as best she could in heels that kept slipping on the cobbles. Vivien stared forlornly after them.

  Flora fled through the fog with Kevin not far behind her. She could hear the hollow thud of his footsteps, but on glancing behind could barely make out his shape. How long would it take Hilda to get to the tram stop in the other main road? She had no watch so could not time herself, but worked out that if she headed in the opposite direction and took a tram for one stop and walked back that should be enough. As long as Kevin did not realise he was chasing the wrong woman.