by Cheryl Oblon
“It’s not the best idea. Minnette and I have to work together. Remmy is my friend; I want him to be happy. And I want you to be safe. You can’t hide forever,” I said.
He nodded “Yes, I can.”
“I don’t mean to tell you what you can and can’t do. I know better. Here, you would be safe. You could oversee the troops. Learn from us. Be with Remmy. A good excuse to stay safe.” I smiled.
“Safe. Battle isn’t something Bachal men avoid. My father won’t see that as a plus,” he said.
“I meant safe from your father finding out. You could tell him it’s building a relationship. Or recon. Remmy is upset. I’m trying to help.” I felt the prince closing off.
“I understand. I’ve thought a lot about this, but my father won’t really go for his crowned prince living away from him.”
“Except in battle?” I asked.
“That is duty, not personal interest.” He looked down the hall. “I want to stay. I want to be with Remmy, but I can’t abandon my siblings or my country. My crown.” Faldar sounded very reasonable.
I couldn’t miss the tears in his eyes.
“Well, I understand. And I will be there to help Remmy recover when you go. However, if you want to stay and live in a society that doesn’t medicate or reprogram or recondition homosexuals—this is your chance.”
“You don’t run away from being prince.”
“It’s a hard decision. I understand.” I stood. “I’ll have the wine added to your things.”
“Thank you,” he said.
“You’re welcome.” I moved in close and kissed his cheek. “If you want to run, find my friend, Zoma, tonight at the ball. Red hair, green dress. All you have to say is asylum. She will take care of it. And, when you’re brought before the queen, that’s the magic word. Tell the truth, and ask for asylum.”
He turned away.
“It’s an option. No one will betray you,” I said.
As I reached for the door, his hand held it closed. “I should have learned not to let anyone else know my secrets.”
“I won’t say anything to anyone. Remmy doesn’t need his sexuality to be a secret here. If he weren’t keeping it quiet, you’d never have gotten that close to him. I mean, would your father have allowed you to be good friends with Remmy if he were openly gay?” I asked.
His forehead thudded against the door. “Impossible. My life is impossible if I want to be happy.”
“I know the feeling. Hopefully, once I’m eighteen and I haven’t gone crazy, the queen lets me off the leash. I’ll always serve the queen, but more freedom would be wonderful.” I rubbed my arm. The implant was bad enough, but having to shut down whatever might have been brewing between Nemal and me would be a lot harder to get used to.
“Is it worth it?” he asked.
“You’ll be king one day. You can change things, eventually, but Remmy might have found someone else by then. I know it’s hard to resolve your father’s death with an opportunity, but that’s the way this system works. He won’t rule forever. But Remmy won’t wait forever, either. Minnette and I won’t let him.” I nudged the prince out of the way and left.
Chapter 33
Tea with Aunt Gurol gave me a safe space. She sent her attendants away. Sure, they stood outside, but no one was trying to escape.
“I’m so glad you came. You’re handling this so well.” She dished out little carrot cakes.
“I don’t know about that. You saw what the queen did. She shoved something in my arm after killing two men. I know I’m loyal to her, but I don’t know if I can trust her.” I didn’t care if they were listening.
She nodded. “I felt the same way. Locking myself in here was my choice. Not everyone agreed with it. My daughters were so angry. Part of me worried the queen would kill them instead of sending them away.”
“You know they’re safe?” I asked.
“My gift has only grown. I can feel them. Hear their dreams. They’re alive. Your mother taught you to reserve your powers so you didn’t upstage Minn or scare people.”
“Yes.” I shrugged.
“Those days are over. You need to practice. You need to use them. Show people you’re strong. Not show off, but casually use what you have. Like your pretty face on men. Your brains with negotiation. Your powers are only going to grow. The queen had to punish you in some way publicly and show her control over you.” She poured more tea.
“I wish I could just blast the doors and take you away from here. Out with Simma or to live with your daughters. That would be safe. This seems so gloomy. I’ve been locked in the castle for weeks and weeks, but for you, it’s been years.” I shook my head.
“The queen needs me. She asks my advice. I don’t like the woods or outskirts where Simma lives. My life revolved around court. When I’m too old to help, maybe I’ll join my daughters. But you probably could use a little help, too, if you don’t mind?” she asked.
“I really could. I wish I had shadowed my mother more. How did she handle this?” I stared at the doors.
“Don’t. That is the hardest part. You know you can do something. Blow the doors. Shove Minn. Pull the tail of a dragon.” She laughed.
“I sort of had to do that. You saw it?” I asked.
“I did. Controlling the powers and using your judgment with them is the hard part. Work on that. Using them in the right place and the right time. I’ll be here to advise you. Look out for you. Hopefully, you will be the key to Lazrel winning the war.”
“You still see a war?” I asked.
She sipped her tea. “You’re avoiding visions so you don’t see it. There is no point to hiding from your gifts. Practice more.”
“I should try again. Hopefully, all the stress with the Bachal will leave when they do.” I had a lot of work to do on myself to live up to this tiara.
She nodded. “You can do it. I’ll help.”
“Thanks.” I hugged her.
On my way down from tea, I stopped at the tomb. Stacked stone rectangles towered over my head. I visited my mother’s. My childhood felt fake with all that I’d learned, but the truth wouldn’t have changed anything. Both parents had made their choices. I had to make mine.
I walked to the ledge and leaned to look out from the tower. The sun was setting, and the world was aglow. I should be dressing for the ball, but a knot in my stomach kept me there.
Had I interfered too much with Remmy and Faldar? I wanted so much for them to have a happy ending. I wanted Faldar’s world to change. All he had to do was stand up to his father. But that was a lot easier to do when they were in chains in a dungeon. His father could command anything. But he wouldn’t kill his own son. Would he?
“Marel is looking for you,” Ballan said.
I jumped. I needed to tune in with my powers more. “Sorry. You scared me.”
“You avoided the war,” he said.
“The queen did. Isn’t that good?” I asked.
He stared at me, and I had a flashback to my vision. Ballan wasn’t the nice guy that I’d believed he was.
He shrugged. “The Royal Seer can’t skip out on stuff.”
“You’re right. I’ll go.” I turned, and his hand was on my throat.
“You are very hard to kill,” he said.
“Get off of me!” Fear took over. I tried to push him away with my hands, but he was ten times stronger.
“That vision of your aunt’s. That’s the problem. We thought the queen would kill off the line, but we’ll do whatever we have to in order to bring down this government.” He pushed me up against the wall.
I’d hesitated, and now I had to regain my ground. Mentally, I let my powers fly. Shoving him back, I wanted to run for the stairs. Ballan came after me, and the evil look in his eye sent a shiver up by spine.
When he got too close, I slammed him against the stone wall. I thought about calling for the guards, but if this man was a rebel, there might be more. There were pro
bably several more. I didn’t need them.
“You’re strong. Going to kill me?” he asked.
“If I have to. I won’t die at your hands,” I said.
“I’d be a hero if I killed you.” He broke free just long enough to fire a shot at me from his laser gun.
That would bring others. I waved a hand and the gun flew over the side of the tower. While I did that, Ballan moved in on me. Boots on the stairs distracted me. Not enough focus. For all my power, my control was off.
Nemal stood in the doorway. “What happened?”
“She’s crazy. She’s trying to throw me off the tower,” Ballan said.
“He’s a rebel who is trying to kill me,” I countered.
Nemal pulled out his laser pistol, but Ballan tackled him. I almost yanked them apart, but with that pistol, I refused to take the chance. They struggled over it, and when it skidded out of reach, I pulled it to me.
“Let him go.” I tried to mentally shove the men apart but failed. My skills weren’t refined enough to grip them both.
I shoved at Ballan, but he grabbed a knife from his belt and had it at Nemal’s throat.
“He’ll die and then you,” Ballan said.
“You kill him, and the queen will lock you up with my father and torture you forever.” I couldn’t lose him, too. Not Nemal.
“I’ll kill myself first and be a martyr to the rebel cause,” Ballan said.
Nemal looked at me. “You didn’t know he was a traitor?”
“You didn’t, either,” I said. I suspected Ballan had some of my family’s gifts. Families intermarried, and people could have gifts that they didn’t share. He’d be a perfect spy.
“This is nice, but I’m getting bored. Kimess, jump over the edge, and I won’t kill Nemal. Do you want to see her die?” Ballan shoved Nemal forward.
“No, she won’t do that,” Nemal insisted.
“Fine. Nemal lives, and I’ll go.” I pointed to the open section of the tower.
“It can’t be that easy. Your mother and your dad are taken from you, yet you fought to stay alive. Then, some prince’s life is on the line, and you’ll sacrifice yourself? Fine.” Ballan nodded to the edge. “Go.”
I walked to the edge. If I could lift a man and throw him across the room, why couldn’t I lift myself?
I looked at Nemal and focused on his mind. When I jump, you elbow him, and get free!
Nemal shook his head. I jumped back but pushed down with my hands. Instead of going down, I went up, and Nemal jabbed Ballan in the ribs.
Once Nemal was out of the way, I slammed Ballan face first into the stone wall over and over until he stopped fighting back.
“Enough, Kimess!” Nemal shouted.
I pulled myself back to him. Solid ground never felt so good! Hugging him tightly, I didn’t want to let go.
“Did I kill him?” I asked.
“I don’t think so, but damn close.” Nemal accessed a panel on the wall.
Guards invaded in minutes.
“Seize him. Take him to the dungeon for interrogation. The queen will sentence him,” I commanded.
The guards inspected the scene and collected the weapons.
Nemal walked up and shook his head at the guards. “The Royal Seer gave you an order. Obey it, or you’ll all be branded as traitors.”
The men dragged Ballan off.
“Are you okay?” Nemal asked.
I stood slowly. “Nothing serious. You?”
“A few bruises.” He shrugged. “I didn’t know you could fly.”
“I didn’t, either. I never tried it. Moving other things is one gift, but I never tried to do it to myself. I should’ve seen this. Ballan was too nice, and things with Marel moved a bit fast. Not that she couldn’t attract men, but it all fell into place too neatly. I let her feelings for him influence me. Some seer I am. I was fooled by a man I spent time alone with. He could’ve killed me in my own home. Any time. Marel was so happy that I didn’t even question him. Why would he risk helping me run off and return? Of course, he wanted to know what I was up to. I’m so stupid.” I buried my face in Nemal’s neck.
“No, you’re not stupid. You wanted your friend to have found a great guy. I trusted Ballan. He’s never given me a reason to doubt.” Nemal held me tighter.
“I’m supposed to see through the lies. I’m not good enough at this yet. I’m not ready for this job.” I shook my head. “I should’ve just killed Ballan.”
“Why?” Nemal asked.
“He’ll be killed, anyway. Marel will be devastated. He probably won’t tell them anything. He played his part so well,” I said.
“They might get something out of him. Or his family. You protected yourself. You’re not the executioner. You’re not the judge. You’re not a killer.” Nemal traced around the amber teardrop on my forehead.
“Someday, I might have to be. To protect myself. The way your mother makes diplomacy sound, it’s very dangerous.” I smiled up at him, and the temptation hit. I couldn’t get pregnant. Why keep away from him? What else could they do to me?
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing.” I smiled innocently.
“I know you better than that,” he said.
I shrugged. “You said you’d stay away. We needed distance. Now, you’re here, taking care of me.”
“You were almost killed. That’s not the same thing as dropping by your quarters to chat. This is my job.” He backed away and let me go. “What were you thinking of, coming up here alone?”
“What? I’m not a prisoner anymore. I can visit my estate, my family, my mother tomb, or anyone I want.” He wasn’t going to lock me up and keep tabs on me for fun.
“I understand that, but you know there are still rebels. They are working in the castle. That healer. Now Ballan. You have to be careful. You can’t let your guard down or you’ll need a guard,” he said.
Was I his job or was I more? “I can take care of myself. I was doing just fine when you came up. I don’t need a guard. I’ll take responsibility for myself. Now I need to go get ready. Tell your mother. I’ll save telling Marel until after the ball.”
“Mother will want to talk to you personally, later on. Marel will notice he’s not there,” Nemal said.
“He’s on duty elsewhere. You can tell her that, and it’ll sound more official.” I waved at him. “I’ll see the queen soon enough. She can corner me for the story.”
“Are you okay to get back alone?” he asked.
He was more like a big brother now. Whatever changed, I didn’t like it. “I can fly. I don’t need anyone.”
Marel and her mother made a huge fuss.
“Another rebel. The queen is furious.” Marel’s mother iced my arm.
“I should’ve known. I trusted this guy way too much, and he could’ve killed me ten times already.” I actually liked the feel of the corset holding my ribs together, but when I took a deep breath, the bruising hurt. I tried to keep my hands steady.
“What do you mean?” Marel asked as she arranged my hair.
“Crap.” I closed my eyes, and the big fall from the tower loomed in front of me. I opened my eyes again. “I didn’t want to tell you until later.”
“Tell me what?” Marel asked.
“Sit down,” I said.
“What? No, tell me!” she insisted.
“It was Ballan. He tried to kill me. He cornered me in the high tower. I’m sorry I didn’t know he was a rebel before.” I looked into the mirror and saw Marel’s heart break.
“He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He’s in the dungeon now?” she asked.
“I’m so sorry. Your feelings for him masked my judgment. He worked for Nemal, and I let my guard down around him more than I should. I trusted him, and I shouldn’t have. I wish I hadn’t encouraged him to be around you. You didn’t suspect him? Know anything about this?” I stopped talking because nothing I said would matter. Still, I had to ask.
“Marel,” her mother scolded.
“I have to ask. You were so uneasy and anxious,” I said.
“He was moving fast. I couldn’t believe it was real. So perfect. It wasn’t.” Marel sat on the sofa and sobbed.
Her mother hugged her. I didn’t have the strength to move. The energy I’d put out to try to fly left me wilted.
“I’m glad he didn’t physically hurt you or your mother. He had so much access. I can’t say I’m sorry enough.” Not that that mattered to her, now.
“I’m glad he didn’t succeed. You should’ve thrown him off the tower,” Marel’s mother said.
“I almost did. Almost killed him. But he might give up information when he’s interrogated. Never know. Nemal is mad at himself, too.” Nothing would make Marel feel better, but I couldn’t seem to stop talking.
“You should go to the ball. You’re ready enough,” Marel said.
“You’re right. I’ll go. Please come when you feel better. You need the distraction. Draw the event.” I hugged her but bit my lip to keep from apologizing again. People had told me over and over how sorry they were about my mother until it’d lost meaning. I didn’t want to do the same thing to my friend.
“We’ll be down later,” her mother said.
I checked myself in the mirror and left. The shakiness remained, but I had to shift into diplomatic mode. The enemies couldn’t see weakness, whoever the enemies were. Earlier today, I was worried about Remmy and Faldar. Now I just wanted the Bachal gone and all the rebels in the dungeon.
Thanks to Ballan, they all knew about my great aunt’s vision. They’d all be out to kill me. Wanting rights or elections was one thing. Murder or attempted murder was wrong. How could I have been so close to him and not know? My powers needed a lot more work. I’d let myself and my friend down.
Chapter 34
Seated next to the queen, I ate but lacked enthusiasm. I’d told her my version of events and downplayed Nemal’s nearly being killed. She seethed next to me, but I couldn’t change what had happened.
“That man will be tortured until he gives up every detail, and then we’ll throw him off the tower,” she said.