The Corporeal Fantasy

by Martin Butler

  I am making it sound like something you can achieve in the space of a weekend, it isn't. Many years of work here to see what is going on within you, to rebel against it, which all of us do at some stage and then to acquiesce to it. Because the world, universe, nature, god, whatever word you want to use, is infinitely more powerful than you as an individual and you are just a manifestation of this power, this will-to-life as Schopenhauer calls it, as much as anything else.

  Now, each of these people offers their own route to salvation effectively. For Spinoza, it's acquiescing, and it's an excellent word and a perfect approach in my opinion. For Gurdjieff, it's to use specific techniques, self-remembering, self-observation and all this kind of thing, to build something up within oneself. Call it being, or understanding, which he claimed gives man a level of freedom. Having been involved with the Gurdjieff work for a long time that's sort of true but I think in the Gurdjieff work they underestimate the role of understanding a great deal. And then we come to Schopenhauer, whose main work was ‘The World as Will and Representation.’ At the end of that work, he talks about the ‘Doctrine of the Denial of the Will-to-life.’ It doesn't mean committing suicide, it doesn't mean renunciation particularly, it just means that you understand the nature of the game. You have no choice but to acquiesce to it, but within yourself you deny it. And that, in my opinion, is the most powerful of all the ways of treating this. It's like you're a slave, you know you're a slave you know you have no options, you acquiesce to it, but within yourself, you do not accept it.

  DAMAMGED GOODS

  “… the lucky ones are the unhappiest of all.” Seneca.

  We are all damaged goods, and those who would deny this are the most damaged of all. The causes of damage are legion – disease, injury, disfigurement, abusive parents, abusive siblings, abusive teachers, school bullies, cheating partners, abusive partners, physical violence, financial distress, betrayal – and much, much more. Our environment, in most aspects, is essentially hostile, and as a result we are frequently wounded. This is not an exercise in self-pity, but an objective assessment of the nature of life. Even the best intentioned parents fuck their kids up, and as Ernest Becker reports in The Denial of Death, life itself is terrifying for kids and so they retreat into imagination. Later in life societal pressures will cause people to suffer as they fail to match up to the heroes portrayed in the media. The net result is that, without exception, we are all damaged goods.

  The most important question is how do we live a life when we are damaged? There are two approaches. The most common is to try and fix the damage – psychotherapy for mental damage, and physical regimes for body damage. Underlying this approach is the notion that we are not OK as we are, and there is some preferred state that we should aspire to. This approach can be helpful, but it carries dangerous undercurrents, and particularly the notion that we are not good enough as we are, and we are responsible in some way for the damage that has occurred. A more wholesome approach is self-compassion and the willingness to do what society would prohibit us to do – to acknowledge that our mental and physical state is the result of both reinforcing and destructive events in our lives. This is not self-pity, but just an impartial analysis. If you had an elder sibling who bullied you for most of your childhood then it is quite likely you may find yourself full of rage at times. The rage is not your fault – this is how life has shaped you. The idea that we can iron out this damage is ridiculous – it’s not going to happen. Acceptance of the fact that you are a conditioned being, more or less damaged by life, will bring a sense of relief. We can forget about the images of perfect people we see in the media – no such people exist in reality. Your rage, depression, physical impairment, financial struggles, and so on, are normal, because the so-called abnormal is actually normal.

  Ultimately life passes its sentence upon you the minute you are conceived – it sentences you to death. Life is not a benign force. It will use and abuse to get what it wants – namely that you survive long enough to rear the next generation. Be kind to yourself, because almost no one and nothing else is going to be. It is the height of politically incorrect behavior to say these things, but I’m of the impression that people who read this are past being politically correct.

  The assault that life makes upon each of us does serve a useful purpose, however. Depending on the intensity of the assault, and its duration, a person may eventually wake up to the reality of life and stop behaving like a dog around the dinner table waiting for scraps. When we come to realize that life operates in its own interests, and when we are sufficiently disappointed, so we might see through most of the tempting mirages life offers us, and focus more on our own inner well-being. It is ironical that the very things that might crush a person, are also the things that might be a catalyst for greater inner freedom.

  DEPRESSION IS LACK OF POWER

  Depression – to be pressed down. There are many causes of depression, but whatever the cause, depression is in the body. Chemical and hormonal imbalances can cause depression, and for some people even certain foods will cause it (gluten being a well-known cause in this respect).

  The common misunderstanding of depression is that it arises from “depressing thoughts”. Well, thoughts are just a mirror for the state of our bodies, which is why vigorous exercise and physical shocks such as a cold shower can reenergize the body and lift a person temporarily out of their depressed state. But activities of this nature are just palliatives, and do not get down to the root cause.

  Many people are depressed because of the way they have been conditioned by life. A bullying parent for example will depress the natural exuberance of a child, and since the body remembers, the resulting oppression will cause a depressed state. In other words the child will grow up in a conditioned state of repressed excitement, and this will be experienced as depression.

  It can of course work the other way around. A child can be conditioned by its parents in such a way as to believe that it is entitled, and when encounters with the larger world do not confer this entitlement so the adult will feel a diminishing of power, and possibly depression.

  Ultimately it is all about power – the power of our body to express itself naturally. The first impression here might be to assume that acting in a boisterous or aggressive manner is the way out of depression – but not so. Such behavior is then simply an artifice we construct as a response to an environment we are implicitly assuming to be hostile. Real power comes from understanding, but understanding is an expensive commodity and so most people will avoid it.

  What we need to understand is our own inner mechanism. This can only come from observation of our internal states, and we have to do this without judgement or the desire to change things. It sounds easy, but it is not. A depressed person will automatically judge their inner state, thus feeding it. This skill can be learned and eventually we get enough data to start understanding.

  Ultimately all emotional states derive from our need to be what we truly are. If we are inhibited in some way we may feel a “negative” emotion. On the other hand, if our expression is enhanced we will feel a “positive” emotion. At the most basic level it all relates back to our survival prospects. A bullied child we feel their survival is being threatened to some extent, and experience fear, anger, or possibly depression.

  The process of understanding slowly unties all the knots, but it’s a long process. The body slowly assumes more power, and specifically the power to express itself in a way that is natural to it. With this more liberated expression comes a diminishing of “negative” thoughts, since thought is simply the mirror of the state of the body.

  Once our mechanism is functioning more freely so we move on with our understanding to penetrate deeper levels of our existence, and we are no longer just dealing with the mundane emotional states but discover new ones that may be quite unfamiliar.

  Understanding is the key. In an age when people will seek almost any external remedy (meditation, chakra cleansing, medication, ideology,
religion, ambitions etc), the real solution is to be found in understanding – but understanding is way too expensive for most.

  HOME ALONE

  Whether being alone is heaven or hell depends entirely on what you find within yourself when alone. For the majority of people being alone is quite unbearable, and they will indulge in almost any activity to avoid it. I deliberately use the word aloneness instead of loneliness because the two are quite different. Loneliness is a condition where we are starved of almost all contact with other people and some level of distress is implied. Aloneness is when we are alone with ourselves, and this can be either pleasurable or painful.

  Being alone is pleasurable if what is within us is pleasurable. The problem for many people is that they are full of “unfinished business” – worries about money, anger, resentment, feelings of inadequacy, and so on. When they are alone these bubble up to the surface. Or they may have ideas and attitudes that are destructive in nature, and a lack of the usual distractions allows these ideas to multiply. So obviously the question is, how do we create a pleasant environment within ourselves so that aloneness is pleasant? Obviously, we need to address our unfinished business and we need to bring to the surface the ideas and attitudes that might leave us with no peace. There is no magic solution to this other than systematic work on our emotional nature and our ideas, and the key to this is understanding.

  No inner peace can be found while the desires and emotions are rampant, but with an effort to understand, the inner turmoil dies down and being alone can become the nearest thing to heaven. Eventually, we are able to carry this “aloneness” around with us, so that even when in a boisterous or unpleasant company we take delight in our own internal state. Ideally, we should be alone as much as possible, even when we are physically not alone. In this way, we maintain our inner composure and peace. This isn’t always possible, but it can become more commonplace the more we understand ourselves and the world.

  UNBEARABLE FREEDOM

  Freedom is simply lack of constraint. If we had no constraints placed upon us, either physical or psychological, then most of us would consider ourselves to be largely free. In reality we do have physical constraints. We cannot fly unaided, we cannot move from any A to B in an instant – and so on. But these things are minor compared with psychological freedom. Most of us are burdened with “should, could, would, must” and other feelings of obligation. We also load ourselves up with theories on just about everything – from how we should eat our food (32 chews) to why we should be “mindful”. It’s all such a burden – but we like it.

  We like surrounding ourselves with obligations, theories, beliefs and the like, because then we don’t have to bear the unbearable – freedom. While most people say they want to be free, their behavior would imply the exact opposite. They want to be swaddled in their favorite belief system, ideas about the things they should do and the things they shouldn’t do, notions of what is right and wrong, what is desirable and what is undesirable – and on and on. To drop all of these things takes great courage. Simply living moment to moment without a ton of baggage being dragged along is a very rare thing, and for most of us completely unbearable.

  It could be implied that freedom is a recipe for a chaotic life. We think this because of the false belief that our baggage gives life structure. We already know what to do – we eat, shit, sleep, drink, have sex, earn money, seek shelter, establish social content. Belief systems and other baggage are not needed to do these things, they are natural activities we indulge in because of what we are – no theories or belief systems needed.

  The other implication that some will be quick to grab hold of, is that freedom implies primitiveness. No so. Our minds like playing with ideas – mathematics, science, philosophy and the rest. We also indulge in aesthetic pleasures – music, art, literature. We can do all these things as long as we understand one thing – they are play. When asked what motivated him to write his divine music J.S. Bach answered that he did it to the Glory of God and for recreation. Forget about the “God” bit, but that he composed the most sublime music for recreation tells you one thing – he enjoyed it. We can enjoy things without them becoming a burden.

  It is a signature of our age that people are less able to bear freedom. They need health gurus, spiritual gurus, lifestyle gurus. Society is also increasingly keen to impose its rules of behavior – political correctness, politeness, work ethic.

  It is somewhat ironical that most people on a “search” will gravitate toward a system of thought that destroys freedom. In fact, many people want a guru because they cannot bear freedom and want to be told what to do.

  As always with things of this nature, there is a trap. To start thinking that we should be free is just another burden. There is nothing we need to do we are already free – if we can bear it.

  SPIRITUAL QUESTS - JUST PLEASURE SEEKING

  The word “spiritual” has almost no meaning, but since it is used by many people to indicate something extra to everyday life, I will use it to brand all such ambitions with the same iron. And let’s not forget that notions of spiritual work, spiritual progress, spiritual powers, and so on, are just another form of ambition. Most people embark upon such quests because they are dissatisfied with life. This dissatisfaction often derives from emotional pain. Of course, most people do not realize this, but life beats us all up is some way and the pain that results calls to be addressed. The most common method of relieving oneself from pain is to seek pleasure. Heroin addicts tend to be people with deep emotional pains which are temporarily relived through the ecstatic state that heroin brings about. Alcohol is another option, delivering oblivion in a low cost and socially accepted manner, provided alcoholism doesn’t result. It goes without saying that a person whose existence is largely pleasurable will not go seeking for pleasure.

  And so we come to spiritual quests. Someone who is dissatisfied with life, either because they are in pain, or because they read or heard somewhere that more pleasurable states are available, will often gravitate toward spiritual practices and traditions that promise increased pleasure. No one would seek a “spiritual” discipline that resulted in greater pain. People will endure pain if there is a promise of pleasure, but it would be a truly perverse person who practiced a spiritual discipline that only promised pain. Even Gurdjieff, the man who didn’t disguise that his methods would cause pain, promised an immortal soul at the end of the torment – a very good selling point. That spiritual quests might be nothing more than pleasure seeking is of course insulting to many people. But what else might they be after?

  It might be worth analyzing a few “spiritual” pursuits – going from the most shallow to the most esoteric. “The Secret” is hardly spiritual, but new age types are very often drawn to it. One just has to imagine a situation (more money, power, fame or whatever) and it will happen. It is pleasure seeking in its most explicit form, and the notion that the bounty of the universe is available simply by imagining it proved to be a very powerful idea – even if it is somewhat deranged. Then we have religion, and as an example we have the Christian Church of Abundance, a crass perversion of Biblical doctrine that is not wholly dissimilar from The Secret. People pray for stuff, seeing God as the big Santa Claus in the sky. After this it starts to get more subtle. People will meditate in the belief that meditation will yield serenity and deliver them from pain – pleasure seeking in other words. And I should add here that there is absolutely nothing wrong with pleasure seeking – all sentient creatures seek pleasure. But let’s not pretend that so called “spiritual” activities are anything but this. Moving on we get to traditions such as Buddhism, which is at least honest enough to proclaim that the aim is to escape suffering.

  As UG Krishnamurti says, all the so called spiritual pursuits have no greater inherent virtue than working to acquire money. Both have pleasure as their aim. It’s just that one is dishonest and the other isn’t. This is why I personally find business people more pleasant and more honest than so called
“spiritual” people. Business people are just interested in money, because they believe that money will bring them pleasure, and most don’t try to disguise it. Spiritual people on the other hand – layers and layers of obfuscation. Abandon hope all ye who try to get a spiritual person to be honest.

  Finally a quote from Spinoza:

  … we see that it is particularly those who greedily covet fortune’s favours who are the readiest victims of superstition of every kind …

  LOVE AND HATE - FOUR LETTER WORDS

  Describing hate as a four-letter word probably isn't going to shock too many people. It's not something we particularly desire to either be on the receiving end of or to be experiencing within ourselves. It's also not a pleasant emotion. But to label love as a four-letter word, well that's a little bit shocking, isn't it? You'll see the reasons for this shortly. As Spinoza said, our happiness depends on the nature of the thing that we love. Most of the things that we love are temporary, unreliable and of course, in the end, may cause us pain. But I'll get on to that later.